This Friday, I am going to go by Borderlands Books to sign anything that is waiting for me to sign it (and that has been paid for, in the case of something that needs to be personalized; I cannot stress enough how important it is to actually pay for things). While I can't guarantee at this point that anything ordered as a holiday gift will get to you before the holidays, I can't say it's impossible, either. So! Do you want to give a signed, personalized book to the person of your choice, after exchanging money for it? Here's how!
1. Contact Borderlands Books (http://borderlands-books.com/) in San Francisco, California. You can contact them by either email or phone; check the website for specific options.
2. Order books! You have to tell them which ones, naturally, and whether you want them signed and personalized, or just signed. Personalized books must be paid for up-front. You can request a specific inscription. Some inscriptions (ie, my phone number) will be refused, although your book will still be signed.
3. While you're at it, order anything else that you'd like to get. I mean, hello, bookstore, and you're already paying for shipping, so why the heck not? May I recommend the new paperback edition of Alex Bledsoe's The Hum and the Shiver? Or Hyperbole and a Half? Or Untold, by Sarah Reese Brennan (sequel to Unspoken)?
4. Give the store any information they need, like shipping address and billing and stuff.
5. The store will contact me, and I'll go in and sign things!
But wait, you cry! What books are currently available?
TOBY: Rosemary and Rue, A Local Habitation, An Artificial Night, Late Eclipses, One Salt Sea, Ashes of Honor, and Chimes at Midnight.
INCRYPTID: Discount Armageddon and Midnight Blue-Light Special.
NEWSFLESH: Feed, Deadline, Blackout, and the Newsflesh box set.
VELVETEEN: Velveteen vs. The Junior Super Patriots and Velveteen vs. The Multiverse.
ANTHOLOGIES: The Living Dead 2 (Newsflesh-universe story); Home Improvement: Undead Edition (Toby-universe story); Zombiesque; Westward Weird (Incryptid-universe story); Tales From the Ur-Bar; Human For a Day; The Modern Fae's Guide to Surviving Humanity; Other Worlds Than These; Human Tales; Grants Pass; The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination; Glitter & Mayhem; Raygun Chronicles; Carniepunk (Incryptid-universe story); Oz Reimagined; Coins of Chaos (Rose Marshall story).
Because Borderlands does not carry non-fiction, none of the Mad Norwegian Press titles are available from them.
(Post concept gleefully stolen from John Scalzi. I love you, John!)