November 20th, 2009

me

Pieces of me for a piecemeal Friday.

1. I am about to head for the dentist, where I will be undergoing full sedation for the sake of massive surgery. After this, you should get a few months free of my discussing teeth, which will be nice for everybody. Because someone asked: I grew up on welfare, I have naturally not-so-good teeth, and for a long time, I didn't have the money to fix what was wrong. This combination leads to massive work, when you can finally manage to get it done. Thankfully, I'm getting.

2. The Rosemary and Rue pendant sale is going like gangbusters over at chimera_fancies, and it's honestly amazing what Mia's been able to do with this batch. I really recommend swinging by and looking for a favorite. All pendants are signed by me, and made from pieces of a recycled ARC.

3. Because of item one on this little list, the Great Pumpkin only knows whether I'm going to be capable of complicated things like "being awake" or "typing" today, so if you don't hear from me until tomorrow, it's not because I've been eaten by a grue. So don't worry.

4. It's pouring buckets. I am the Rain King.

5. Please remember to enter the A Local Habitation ARC giveaway. It doesn't require your own pets. Use the pets of a friend, or neighbor, or take advantage of your brother the zookeeper and throw your book to the tigers. (I will replace your book if you actually bring me photographic evidence of throwing it to the tigers, providing that happens with zookeeper permission.) Have fun!
editing

Serial killer fun!

There was a contest on Twitter earlier this week, wherein those of us who had nothing better to do with our time tried to compose complete, if very short, stories involving serial killers in order to win a book about a serial killer. I don't think I won, but wow did I have a lovely time, and as exercises in brevity go, this one was awesome. I give you...serial killer party!

"Corn mazes are full of shadows and, at Halloween, full of screams. She moves amongst artificial monsters, natural and sharp."

"Some like the personal touch: razors, throats, the copper taste of blood. Others think larger. Don't drink the water."

"They always blame the men with the axes, not the little girls who inexplicably survive. Beware the ones in the red hoods."

"Every time Jean Grey dies, I kill a redhead and set the body on fire. They just killed Emma Frost. Time for the freezer."

"Tapeworm eggs easily survive the blender. My friends love my protein shakes, and they all die thin and oh-so-pretty."

"Horror movie extras often go missing. Everyone thinks they're lazy or drunk. No one notices the blood on the caterer's hands."

"Who stalked who was open to debate. One had a razor; the other a roll of duct tape. It was either love or killing time."

"Murder is like Chinese food. An hour later you're hungry again. Waitresses in Chinese restaurants often walk home alone."

I am sometimes way, way too easily amused, I swear.