The random number generator has spoken, and the winner of copies of Rosemary and Rue and Discount Armageddon is...

ccliving!

Please contact me via my website contact form by 1PM PST on Saturday, December 10th, to claim your prize. Please include your name, LJ handle, and mailing address in the message, so that I will know it is you.

Twelve more days to go!

...a starter kit for my two longest-running series: signed copies of Rosemary and Rue and Discount Armageddon! Win them for yourself, for a friend, or for a local library!

Welcome to the second of the Thirteen Days of Hogswatch. I will be starting a new giveaway every day between now and December 13th. Each giveaway will have different rules and a different deadline, although all prizes will be mailed on December 30th, because I am bad at going to the post office (and also, I am avoiding the post office as much as possible until that other winter holiday is over).

The second giveaway is for signed copies of Rosemary and Rue and Discount Armageddon, the first books in the Toby Daye and InCryptid series, respectively. This is going to be a random number drawing, because I am sleepy. So...

1. To enter, comment on this post.
2. If you are international, indicate both this and your willingness to pay postage.
3. Tell me which series you are more excited to start.
4. That's it.

I will choose the winner at 1PM PST on Friday, December 9th.

Game on!

ETA: This drawing is now CLOSED.

You may have noticed a lack of traditional "the year is over, hooray, here's all the crap I accomplished in 2014, now let's hope 2015 sucks less" posts around here. This is because we had a rip-trees-out-of-the-earth type windstorm here on the 29th, and well. First the power to my house went out. Then the power came back...mostly. It came back to everything except the outlets in my room and the front room. Where the server lives.

I HAD THREE UNPLANNED DAYS WITHOUT INTERNET AND I AM NOT OKAY.

Ahem. So my roundup posts are coming, but for right now, here is a review roundup, just to sort of make me feel productive, without actually requiring me to think.

Book Banter has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "By the end of the first book in the Cryptid series, readers will be thoroughly hooked and checking out the cryptid glossary at the end of the book and wanting more cryptid crunchy goodness." Yay!

Ranting Dragon has also posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "All joking aside, this is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time, and not just for the fun factor." Double-yay! (It's a fun review, too.)

Fantasy Book Cafe has also also posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "Discount Armageddon completely lived up to my expectations for a book written by Seanan McGuire. It is about on par with the later Toby Daye books in terms of enjoyment, even without the satisfaction of spending several books getting to know the characters. It's entertaining, well-paced, and humorous with a memorable main character – and a memorable family, even though we haven't really met most of them yet. I think I may have discovered my fourth urban fantasy series that I must keep up with." Excellent.

...and really, three is about my limit for tonight, for I am tired and the world must move on. All things serve the Beam.

I will be more productive tomorrow.

Let us begin with the deep past, as I try vainly to reclaim my link file before I leave for Europe (I did mention I was leaving for Europe, right?). The Quiet Voice has reviewed Feed, and says, "Feed fractured my heart, and then broke it—so, of course, it deserves to be my first five-star book of 2012. It is definitely not your typical zombie story with sleazy action sequences and creepy cliches, but a wonderful mix of zombies, blogging, and politics." See how behind I am? I am so behind.

Geek Girls Rule has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "There’s lots to love in this book. Like her October Daye Books, she includes lots of background information on the critters inhabiting her world, without it ever feeling forced. She includes wit and humor amongst even the darkest scenes. Her characters are always well-rounded and believable, even the most unbelievable or unreal. When a character changes their mind, it feels like a natural decision or outgrowth of what’s gone on, not at all out of character or forced." Hooray!

Apocalyptic Movies has posted a review of Feed, and says, "Which brings me to media-spread panic and the reason why Feed isn't only a great read, but an important eye-opener for the folks out there who don't spend a lot of time questioning the things they are told. Feed is, in the end, a book about the power of information—and disinformation—and its message is as relevant to us, today, as it could ever be in a world full of zombies." I love it when people get what I was going for.

Seduced By a Book has posted a review of Feed, and says, "I found Feed engaging, thought provoking, dramatic, and emotionally moving. Make sure to have a box of tissues handy and find yourself a cozy little spot to read this one. Once you get into the story you're not going to want to put it down." Rockin'.

Finally for this look at the ancient days, Owlcat Mountain has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "So what does all of this add up to? Fun. Lots and lots of fun. Great characters, great plot, great backstory. I can't wait for the next one. I wonder if the author can be bribed with chocolate to write faster." Alas, I can write faster, but I can't speed up the publishing industry!

That's all for today. I know this is one of the random administrative things I do here, and I appreciate your patience as we move into a brave new world of this damn thing fitting entirely on one page.

Excelsior!

...a pair of books! Discount Armageddon and Midnight Blue-Light Special could be yours!

Welcome to the sixth of the Twelve Days of Hogswatch. I am starting a new giveaway every day between now and January 6th (the day after my birthday). Each giveaway has different rules, and a different deadline, although all prizes will be mailed on January 9th, because I am bad at going to the post office.

The sixth giveaway is for the US mass-market paperbacks of Discount Armageddon and Midnight Blue-Light Special. This is going to be a random number drawing. So...

1. To enter, comment on this post.
2. If you are in Canada, indicate a willingness to pay postage.
3. That's it.

This giveaway is for US and Canadian residents only. The cost of mailing two MMPs anywhere else is more than the cost of the books, which I just...I can't. I'm sorry, and I'm trying to keep these giveaways as open as possible, but I can't in good conscience do that, either to you (postage like whoa) or to me (you could have just bought the books for that price). Tomorrow's giveaway will be open to all.

Please remember that all giveaway rules are non-negotiable. Failure to follow the rules of a giveaway will mean that you cannot win, even if the RNG picks you.

I will choose the winner at 1PM PST on Tuesday, January 7th.

Game on!

I'll be honest here: I haven't been capturing most reviews of late, because the urge to read reviews has declined dramatically over the last six months or so. This may have something to do with the fact that I have at least a hundred unposted, and I'd like to be able to fit my links-in-waiting on a single screen before I die. So I'm hoping that, by doing a few solid roundups, I can get my groove back. This is the first.

My Friend Amy's Blog has posted a review of Deadline, written before the release of Blackout. There are no good pull quotes, although it's a very thoughtful review; there are Feed spoilers and comparisons throughout.

Want Some has posted a review of Feed, and says, " Tl;dr: Not your average zombie fare, highly recommended, part 1 in the Newsflesh Trilogy." I kinda admire the brevity.

Errant Dreams has posted a review of One Salt Sea, and says, "All in all, I found One Salt Sea to be another solid addition to the October Daye series. Its slower emotional pacing (because of the similar kidnapping plot) gave me a chance to sit back and watch changes being played out without the entire combination being too overwhelming." And this is why sometimes, types of case repeat.

Happy Booker has posted a review of Feed, and says, " My masochistic heart can do nothing but rate this book a full 5 stars. I have to commend Mira Grant on how she managed to create such a compelling story and include zombies (which I don't even like btw) and introduce me to these amazing characters that I have no choice but to fall completely in love with and then, without warning, take it all away. I can almost picture the sadistic smile on this author's face as she gleefully ripped my heart out, stomped on it, then poked it a few times with Shaun's zombie stick, leaving me a broken, sobbing mess. Nice, Mira Grant, very nice." Yay!

Finally for today, Morgan and Whitney have dished on Discount Armageddon. Lots of fun, some great points; I recommend taking a look.

Next, the weather.

I am ecstatic to finally be able to announce that I—as in "me writing under my own name," not Mira, who has a different publishing setup than Seanan does—have acquired a UK publisher! Both the October Daye and the InCryptid books will be coming out from Constable & Robinson, under their Corsair imprint. I AM BEING PUBLISHED BY AN IMPRINT THAT IS ALSO AN X-MEN REFERENCE.

My life is complete.

My page on the Constable & Robinson site is right over here, and will eventually have neat things like book covers (no idea yet what the books are going to look like in the UK market IT'S AN EXCITING MYSTERY). There's also an awesome pre-order page for the UK edition of Discount Armageddon, which will be coming out in April of 2014.

The deal includes all the current books in both series, which means a) non-imported editions for my UK readers, and b) easily available ebooks. Such excitement! Such delight!

I am really over the moon about this, and I'm so happy to be joining the Constable & Robinson/Corsair family of authors. UK publisher!

Bliss.

I want to open this by saying that I love my cover art. It's a blanket statement: I am one of the rare, lucky authors who has never had to grit her teeth and stand behind a cover she didn't care for. The Toby covers are atmospheric and brilliant and show Toby accurately. The Newsflesh covers are iconic in a way I could only have fantasized about. The InCryptid covers are amazing representations of the characters, done by the first cover artist I got to choose for myself. I virtually campaigned for Aly Fell, and I could not be happier with his work. Like, seriously, could not be happier.

But here's the thing.

When I go to the bookstore, half-naked women greet me in literally every section except for cozy mysteries. There are elegant half-naked women on action novels, waiting to be ravaged. There are misty, wistful half-naked women on YA novels, ready to embark on romantic adventures, probably while drowning. There are lots of half-naked women on science fiction and fantasy, many of them happy to show me their posteriors. And this doesn't even touch on the comic book store, where there are so many half-naked women that I barely even notice them anymore. Once I stopped expecting puberty to give me a figure like Dazzler or Illyana Rasputin, I just tuned all the thrusting hips and pointy boobs out, like the white noise that they were.

I don't actually know very many women who go "Oh, oh, I gotta get me a book with a naked chick on the cover." I do know a lot of women who are uncomfortable with those naked chicks, and who try to avoid reading books with naked chicks on them in public. I had a few people get angry on my behalf when the cover of Discount Armageddon was released, before they realized that I had petitioned for that image, and that it was an intentional send-up of certain cheesecake conventions. And without speaking for any other authors, I am the only one I know of who actually said to her publisher, "Hey, you know what would be awesome? If my smart, strong, savvy, heavily-armed protagonist was in a miniskirt." (DAW took this in stride, by the way, which was hysterical when you consider that my one cover request for the Toby books was "Can she be wearing clothes?")

I also don't know many, if any, women who defend the often exaggerated and impossible anatomy that shows up on these covers. In fact, women tend to decry it, and when I have heard defense, it's mostly come from men. These are very general statements, and I know that: I am not trying to imply that all men love plastic spines and thighs the length of torsos. Jim Hines, for example, has done some excellent deconstruction of these covers, recreating them in the physical world (as much as he can) to demonstrate just how ludicrous they are. And if you think I'm exaggerating, I invite you to Google the phrase "Escher girls," and see how incredibly much oversexualized, anatomically questionable art makes it onto the cover of books and comics.

So it seems likely that the intended audience for the half-naked women is largely male. Okay. As a bisexual woman, I like looking at pretty girls, and I don't see anything wrong with men liking to look at pretty girls. When I sit on the train, I should see dozens of men reading books with half-naked women on them, right? Because they're trained to the male gaze, so they should attract it, right?

The single most common critique I received of the cover for Discount Armageddon was from male readers saying they could not read the physical book in public. And while I think anyone should be able to read anything they want to without feeling ashamed, this critique does raise a question about who the half-naked women are actually for, if guys don't want to be associated with them.

I was recently involved in an online "cover battle," where people voted for their favorite cover of 2012. It was super-fun, and I made it to the finals, where the cover of Discount Armageddon was rightfully defeated by the cover of Chuck Wendig's fantastic Blackbirds (which you should read if you haven't already). Except maybe I'm exaggerating a little when I say that it was super-fun, because for me, the fun started dying when people started leaving nasty comments about my cover.

"Wow, so garbage made in Poser consisting of a scantily clad woman in thigh-highs is winning over that beautiful piece of art on the Wendig book."

"WHY IS DISCOUNT ARMAGEDDON WINNING? D: When did we start liking slutty girls in miniskirts holding guns and swords, Dragonites? WHEN?"

Even some of the site text was faintly shaming, with comments like "because of our male readership massively voting for the sexy cheerleader chick" when trying to deduce why my (fantastic, thank you Aly) cover was still in the running. (The site text was updated after Chuck stated that my cover was still in the fight because it was a damn fine urban fantasy cover. The text was, in fact, updated to quote Chuck directly. I love Chuck.)

But let me tell you, shit like that? Harshes my squee real fucking fast. Thanks for the assumption that a girl in a miniskirt must be slutty, commenter! Thanks for calling it garbage, other commenter! Thanks for making me feel like I don't get to be a real author because I wrote a book where the main character can accurately be depicted by the cover image I asked for and received.

Riddle me this, o world. If women mostly don't ask for half-naked girls on book covers, if most book covers seem geared to the male gaze, whether rightly or wrongly, then why is it men stepping up to call those covers garbage, and to call the women who grace them slutty? Why is my cover getting slut-shamed by someone who doesn't know the girl in that picture, doesn't know who she is or why that image is an accurate one? It's like the art is awesome as long as it's on a closet door, but if you're asked to like it in public, it's time to throw out a few micro-aggressions to keep people from thinking you're "that kind" of person.

Fuck. That.

I want every book to have an accurate cover. If I open a book with a half-naked girl on it, I want that half-naked girl to be inside. I want to read those books while proudly proclaiming to anyone who sees them in my hands, "I have a book with a half-naked woman in it." I want everyone reading everything, and I don't want any more of this "these are the covers that sell, so these are the covers you'll get, but no one's ever going to admit to liking them." And part of this is going to be dialing back the crappy anatomy and the questionable sexuality. If the characters keep their clothes on in the text, they should do it on the cover, too. If the characters get naked, they should still be painted or photoshopped to look like people, not plastic nightmares with eleven-inch waists (unless they're wasps or something).

And let's stop slut-shaming fictional characters based on a single picture. It's not fair to the books, it's not fair to the authors, and it's not fair to the readers who might be waiting to fall in love with them.

We should be better than this.

At last it has come; the final round of the Ranting Dragon cover battle is upon us. On one side, the armies of Chuck Wendig. On the other, the armies of my own. What do we fight for?

We fight for the title of Best Cover of 2012. The entrants, Blackbirds, and Discount Armageddon. The prize? INFAMY.

Chuck is a dear friend of mine, at whose head I often hurl foul profanities. This is the basis for our relationship. And Blackbirds is a truly gorgeous cover; if I lose to it, I will feel that my battle has not been in vain. (It's also a truly gorgeous book, which you should totally read, assuming the phrase "foul profanities" is not your kryptonite. He has swear words like I have talking mice, and it is awesome.)

Chuck has said a few words about his cover, and I thought I should say something about mine. Here's something you may or may not know: I begged my publisher to give me Aly Fell. Literally begged, along with mailing my editor half of his publicly available images, while going "see? He has the right quirky cheesecake feel, he would be amazing." When they said he'd agreed to do the book, I cried.

I cried again when I got his roughs for the cover. Literally hand-over-mouth, can't-see, sat at my desk and sobbed, because it was perfect. It managed to be quirky, almost ironic cheesecake: perfectly Verity, perfectly sincere, perfectly Price. This is a series that's aimed at a very strange sort of demographic, almost like Adventure Time meets Sanctuary meets Leverage. I needed a cover that got all those things across, and Aly Fell did it magnificently.

It still makes me tear up when I remember seeing the cover for the first time. I cried again when I got the cover for Midnight Blue-Light Special. Just, "Oh, there you are Verity," and all the tears. All the tears, always.

I love both these covers, and while I would of course appreciate it if you voted for me, I will not feel slighted in any way if I don't win; it's apples and oranges at this point, and Chuck and I have one thing in common. We both won the cover artist lottery.

I am about to leave for Worldcon, which means my brain is like a mutant gerbil running on a wheel that powers a nuclear reactor. It's a little painful. Anyway, in an effort to keep the gerbil busy (and thus keep it from accidentally melting the West Coast), where is a file-clearing review roundup. (Hint: the file is not actually clear.)

Mike Jones, who has known me since I was fourteen, reviewed Deadline and Blackout for Tor.com, and says, " Bottom line: you're not going to find a better political thriller/science fiction/post zombie apocalypse adventure out there. If you do, tell me so I can read it!" Aw, yay.

Little Red Reviewer actually reviewed my short story, "Crystal Halloway and the Forgotten Passage," and said, "As I am quickly learning, Seanan McGuire is pure magic." I AM A UNICORN OF GOODNESS AND JOY. And zombies.

Journey vs. Destination has posted a review of the Newsflesh trilogy, and says, "The zombie book got me on the first page. It sucked me in so much that at the end of the first chapter of my free book, I went back to the first book in the trilogy, bought it, and devoured it. Then back to the Hugo packet to read the second. Then bought the third." Best recommendation ever.

Let's mix it up a little: Leigh Caroline has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says many things, although there are no good pull quotes. Check it out.

Geek Speak Magazine (to which I am an occasional contributor) posted a review of Blackout, and says, "Mira Grant's finale to her trilogy is among the more satisfying conclusions to a series I have ever read, one where even the dreaded coda to the tale (and believe me, I usually hate anything smacking of an epilogue) does not detract from the overall feeling of triumphant, if a tad bittersweet, closure." I am well-pleased.

And finally for today, Read This Book Damnit has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, " In short Seanan McGuire has done it again. From fae in San Francisco, to a post-apocalyptic zombie future, and now a tango dancing cryptozoologist, she has entertained me with every book I've read to date. I hereby formally suspend any future disbelief in her choice of subject matter to write and will, instead, just shut up and read." VICTORY!

With that, I take the gerbil for a walk.

You know the drill by now. This is me, trying in vain to clean up the file a little bit before the Ashes of Honor reviews start to appear in earnest. I will fail, but still, I will strive.

Carrie S. has posted a guest review of Discount Armageddon at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, and says, "There's nothing particularly new here. Thanks to my beloved Joss Whedon, the idea that a petite girl in cute clothes can take down monsters is pretty standard stuff. However, what the story lacks in originality it makes up for with wit, great descriptions, engaging characters, fast pace, and a whole lot of energy." Joss comparisons also aren't new, where this series is concerned. Great review, and I love the amount of "wait and see" that it allows me.

Dark Faerie Tales has also posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "Overall, Discount Armageddon is a fascinating take on a whole new Urban Fantasy series. If you don’t like books with quite a bit of info dumping and long expositions then you may not care for this book but if you like sarcastic women, sexy men and interesting creatures then I would say give this book a try. I can’t wait to see what is next for Verity Price and Dominic De Luca." Fortunately, I love books with quite a bit of info dumping.

Let's mix it up a little: The Midnight Garden has posted a review of Blackout, and says, "Blackout seamlessly combines medical thriller, political intrigue, and pulse-pounding action sequences with unforgettable human drama." Happiness, joy, and fluffy kittens for all! (Well. Not for Grignar, devourer of all flesh. He knows what he did.)

...and we're back to Discount Armageddon with The Book Bundle's lovely review of the book, which says, "Discount Armageddon is a really fun read. I was very quickly pulled into Verity's world, and I loved each new cryptid she met. I can't wait to see more of the world in the following books." I like it when people are excited about sequels.

Book Banter has posted a review of Blackout, and says, "Blackout is the perfect, satiating finish to the trilogy, making the three-book series feel like one long, epic story. No reader will be disappointed, with a worthwhile ending that will leave him or her sad that the wonderful journey is now over...but just like when the end of Harry Potter was reached, or the final page of Stephen King's Dark Tower series, how many of us turned back to the first book and started reading that first page once again. Having reread the first two books, this trilogy will be one I will continue to reread constantly throughout my lifetime." ...wow.

Finally for today, Reading After Midnight has posted a review of Blackout, and says, "You know what?...If you want to know how this all ends you’ll just have to read the story and find on your own. What you’re reading now is my heart bleeding all over my keyboard, because this is how it feels letting this story go." That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my work. Thank you.

Thank you all.

...merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.

Today's first review comes from libris_leonis, who has posted a review of "Countdown", and says, "This is a grim, compact little story that works really well, but also really grimly; not uplifting, but certainly excellent, although it does require knowledge of the Newsflesh world to really work to its full effect." Yay!

You know, that review was so nice, let's visit the reviewer twice. libris_leonis has also posted a review of "San Diego 2014: The Last Stand of the California Browncoats", and says, "Overall, "San Diego 2014" showcases Grant's best talents; emotionally resonant and effective work, drawing out similarities between characters and readers, and the occasional (more common here than across the rest of the Newsflesh cycle) reference to modern geek culture. A very nice novella." Hooray!

Sadly, one reviewer does not a full roundup make, and so we move on. The Mad Reviewer has posted a review of Blackout, and says, "Funny, dark, suspenseful and full of plot twists, Blackout was no disappointment. And it even had a satisfying, if not entirely happy, ending. What else could I really ask for?" A pony. You can always, always ask for a pony.

Persephone Reads has posted a review of Late Eclipses, and says, "For every knock she takes—and this installment’s knocks would make a heavyweight prizefighter proud—Toby finds a way to get back on her feet. She’s not invincible; she sways and stumbles, but she stands when others might fall. In these pages, Toby’s brand of strength and vulnerability found its sweet spot. It’s no great shock that I continue to be a pom-pom wielding, card carrying member of her cheer squad." Go Fighting Pumpkins!

The Family Addiction has posted a fun, and funny, review of Discount Armageddon. There are no really good pull quotes this time, but it's definitely worth clicking through.

A Modern Hypatia (love the name) has posted a review of Deadline, and says, "Deadline is also an amazingly strong second book—often the weakness of trilogies. There are some places that's obvious (especially the end), but the beginning does a great job of easing you back into the world and reminding you how things work before the story accelerates (which it does quite rapidly.) And then there's a solid plot that both serves this book, but is clearly laying down foundation for a powerful conclusion." Victory is mine!

Finally for today's extremely random review roundup, Monsters and Critics has posted a review of Home Improvement: Undead Edition, and says, "This collection is a treat; the stories are strong and most reward the reader with a pleasing plot twist. The paranormal element added to the mundane yet trying experience of home or business renovation was an inspired theme certain to strike a cord with anyone who has lived the experience. Just the thing to enjoy on a languid summer day with a tall glass of cold lemonade." Works for me.

So that's me purging a little more of the link file. Look for more of these in the next few weeks, as I struggle to get things under control before Ashes of Honor hits shelves.

Evil pie!

We open today with Paul Goat Allen's review of the entire Newflesh trilogy, which he calls "an instant classic." He also says, "The narrative supremacy of this trilogy is unquestionable: both Feed and Deadline were nominated for the Hugo Award (in 2011 and 2012, respectively)—and Blackout is arguably the strongest of the three!"

I do not have words for how happy this review makes me. It...if just one person feels this way, I did it right. And that's amazing.

Meanwhile, Calliope's Domain has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "The writing of this book definitely had a lighter, funner tone than Ms. McGuire's October Daye series that, in my opinion, really let stand out. Heck, if not for her name on the cover, I never would have guessed the same author wrote both series; a true accomplishment, I think, for any author writing multiple series." That is a huge compliment. Thank you so much.

MiB Reviews has reviewed Blackout, and says, "One of the great assets that the Newsflesh trilogy has is the way that every book is a different type of story. Atop the overused backdrop of the zombie apocalypse, we have a novel about a conspiracy to sabotage a political campaign by a fanatic from the point of view of a calm, seasoned journalist; an action-packed romp against impossible odds where the villains just can't help but to blow everything up; and now we have a story where simply surviving and living in peace requires helping genetic experiments escape from labs and uncovering the biggest government conspiracy in US history. There might be another author who's blended zombies and one of these genres together so seamlessly, but I doubt that anyone else has done so as well, or done so three times." This is what winning looks like!

Sigrid Ellis has posted a review of Wicked Girls that calls the album "Hugo-Award-worthy" and says "This is the engagement that makes our beloved fantasy and science fiction world bigger, braver, and stronger for the future. And it’s a good album, besides. Making comparisons to other artists is tricky, because not everyone likes the same things I like. But I found—and this is high compliment—that the lyrics reminded me of a sort of cross between the poetry of John M. Ford and the lyrics of Stephen Sondheim. Bleak and cynical and stupid-stubbornly hopeful, my favorite kind of thing." I...oh my sweet Great Pumpkin. I am so touched.

Tom Knapp rounds out today's roundup with a review of When Will You Rise?, about which he says, "Grant, in just over a hundred pages, creates a fully realized disaster, and readers will understand the science behind it. It's a short, punchy book that makes you want to read more." Everybody dies!

That's it for right now. Thank you to all readers, and all reviewers, whether I find and link your review or not. I am so honored.

Life is good.

So very tired cat is so very tired. Tired enough that the effort of packing a suitcase for a trip to New York seems to be unendurable. Consequentially, I am updating my blog, because I can generally manage that...but I am too tired to say anything useful. So here. Have a Discount Armageddon review roundup.

Book Devourer has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "Discount Armageddon was something kind of like an impulse buy, but I’m so pleased to have bought it. It was enjoyable and entertaining with interesting characters and fast pacing that just keeps you glued to the book for hours on end. I’ll definitely be looking forward to the next books in this series!" Awesome.

Dark Faerie Tales interviewed me about Discount Armageddon, and we had a lot of fun. Check it out.

janicu has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "A refreshing urban fantasy that does not take itself too seriously. Discount Armageddon is full of fun and humor, but is balanced with just the right amount of grit. I thoroughly enjoyed Verity's dynamo presence and her enthusiasm for being in the Now. She's a kick-ass UF heroine who isn't angry or angsty, doesn't have a painful past, and comes with a supportive family. I recommend this one for urban fantasy fans that are looking for something that approaches the genre from a different angle." What a great summation!

One Good Book Deserves Another has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "I loved this book. It's original, funny, creative, and while there's room for more complexity in the plot and more detail for the secondary characters, Verity herself was highly enjoyable and carried the book well. I'd love to meet her sister, though." Oh, don't worry. You will. Heh heh heh.

Impressions of a Reader has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "Discount Armageddon is fun and refreshing, full of wonderful characters, and I love this world. I can't wait to meet Alex and Antimony, or to find out what the heck is up with Dominic. And of course, Hail Verity!" I love how much everyone wants to meet her siblings.

Finally for right now, calico_reaction has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "This is just a wonderfully fun book to read, and rather utterly different that McGuire’s other work, namely her October Daye series and NewsFlesh series, with one exception: as always, the world-building is utterly full and vivid. But where the InCryptid series deviates so far is the humor, and this book had me giggling and entertained the entire time I read it. There’s a lot of crazy ingredients to the story, and some might mix well better than others, depending on the reader, but if you’re looking for a fun, creative story, look no further."

On that note, we wrap for now.

Goodnight, moon.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

Tomorrow's Party Schedule!

5:00 PM: Setup, sound check, and final details. You can show up, but we may ignore you if you do. Sorry about that.
6:00 PM: Welcome to our party. We're done ignoring you now. Would you like some music?
6:30 PM: Perhaps you would like to win things.
6:40 PM: Now there will be cupcakes and autographing.
7:00 PM: More music?
7:30 PM: More prizes?
7:40 PM: Q&A and book discussion.
8:10 PM: Last music of the night.
8:40 PM: Let's raffle some more stuff off.
8:50 PM: Thanks and final questions before we close the evening.

This iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be in the cafe; the bookstore will be open throughout the evening. The cafe will also be open, and they've promised to have plenty of bread and delicious pastry this time. Raffle tickets will be available through the two standard methods: show up, or buy something from the bookstore.

All performing musicians will have CDs for sale, because we're predictable like that. There will be cheese and cupcakes provided in the bookstore as part of the party, and a whole cafe full of delicious things to purchase and enjoy.

It's gonna be a good night. Hope to see you there.

VERITY PRICE!!!!!!

Ahem. Discount Armageddon has debuted on the New York Times Bestseller list, in position #35. This is otherwise known as "the best position," because it is mine, and I love it. I am...I am overjoyed. I am SO EXCITED I COULD DIE. This is my second time on the list (my first was with Late Eclipses), and to make it with my very first book in a brand new series is like a dream come true.

This is my crazy little book about a ballroom dancing cryptozoologist cocktail waitress with talking mice in her closet and nothing in her fridge, and it's on the New York Times Bestseller list. I can't believe it.

Thank you, thank you, a thousand times thank you to everyone who bought this book during release week. I am so glad, and so grateful, and so excited. Above everything else, I am so excited.

Discount Armageddon made the list.

It is with great pleasure that I remind you all that the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be assembling this Saturday at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books. We'll be getting underway at 6pm, and rocking the roof until closing time comes and they kick us all out! Why are we partying?

To celebrate the release of Discount Armageddon, naturally.

There will be cake! There will be cheese! There will be music and a raffle and reading and some Q&A, and it will be a hootenanny of a good time, with a whole lotta hoot AND a whole lotta nanny! Bring your kids! Bring your siblings! Bring your slime monsters! We totally hope to see you there.

Oh, and: Caitlin Kittredge and Ben Macallan, both of whom are made of hammered awesome, will be at the bookstore before the Circus comes to town! Their event starts at three. Come early, and make a day of it!

Remember that Borderlands does take telephone and email orders, and would be happy to send you books signed by any of the lovely authors who will be haunting the store that day. Get a book already touched by pure awesome. Or, you know. Ink. The party starts Saturday at 6pm!

Cheese! And! Cake!

Not gonna lie, here: I'm exhausted and cranky from Daylight Savings Time, and I have 600+ comments waiting to be answered (I'm trying not to think about my inboxes), so I'm settling for the low-effort embrace of a review roundup. Which comes with the added bonus of reducing the size of my link file. Everybody wins! And so...

Living Vicariously (Through Books) has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "I honestly really think Seanan McGuire (/Mira Grant) is my current favorite author. I thought that before this book, but this book did not change that thought at all." Also, "This world has a lot going for it, I think. There’s a lot of potential investigation, multiple built in antagonists of various types, and Verity is good at what she does and comfortable with herself. I am definitely on board for the second book." Yay!

From My Wandering Mind has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "It is, in fact, awesome. Well, awesome if what you are looking for is urban fantasy about a professional ballroom dancer and cryptozoologist, who also has to work as a cocktail waitress to pay the bills. It is hilarious and fun and action-packed and McGuire has put a HUGE amount of effort into creating extremely detailed and, dare I say, realistic descriptions of all sorts of mythological creatures, now just trying to live amongst humans peacefully." Yes. That is my idea of awesome.

Urban Fantasy Investigations has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "There was a great amount of action throughout the book. The cast of characters was vast and imaginative. The plot was fun and I had a great time reading the book from start to finish." Five stars! HAIL THE REVIEW!

Book Yurt has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "With machetes, ballroom dancing, parkour, romance, and oodles and oodles of snark, Discount Armageddon is a smorgasbord of fun. It's six parts Buffy, one part Princess Bride, with a generous sprinkle of Strictly Ballroom on top—or that's the closest I can come to describing it, anyway. I chortled, snickered, and at times laughed out loud while reading Discount Armageddon—not to mention I'm a huge parkour and martial arts fangirl, so the action was exactly my cup of tea—and I finished this book with a huge, rather silly grin on my face. It's been a long, long time since I've enjoyed a new UF series this much." Best. Description. Ever.

Sigrid Ellis wrote a lovely, and very sweet summation of why she enjoyed Discount Armageddon. No good pull quotes, but very much worth reading.

Oh, and you know how sometimes people go "What's the big idea?" Well, thanks to John Scalzi, I was able to explain exactly what the big idea was. Take a look.

That's all for now. I will now resume staring dully at my inbox. Whee!

First off, if you're interested, the spoiler-filled book discussion post is continuing to rage on over here, and you're welcome to join in. Read, and come to the party!

I've been blogging for Penguin* all this week, that being something they like to have authors do when they have new books out. So head over to hear my thoughts on cryptids as the fairy stories of the modern era, Toby vs. Verity, round one, fight, and the serious science of cryptozoology. It's fun!

catsittingstill wrote a song about the Aeslin mice. I can now die happy. I won't, because I have things to do, but I can.

I have a bunch of reviews to post, but those should probably go in their own roundup. So I will leave you with the reminder that my book release party, and the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show, will be on March 17th, at Borderlands Books. Hope to see you there!

(*DAW is my publisher, but DAW is distributed by Penguin, which makes it logical for me to blog at Penguin.)

To celebrate the release of Discount Armageddon, here. Have an open thread to discuss the book.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

Seriously. If anyone comments here at all, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. So please don't read and then yell at me because you encountered spoilers. You were warned.

You can also start a book discussion at my website forums, with less need to be concerned that I will see everything you say! In case you wanted, you know, discussion free of authorial influence, since I always wind up getting involved in these things.

Have fun!

As I am making this post, I am realizing that it's one of the last times I'll have the awesome Discount Armageddon cover icon as my default. It always changes to reflect my upcoming book, and DA isn't the new baby anymore. It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm so excited to have this book out in the world, and yet.

And yet.

I've been doing lots to get ready for this book release. I've been giving interviews—one with Chuck Wendig, at Terrible Minds, wherein I say "fuck" a lot, and one at My Bookish Ways, wherein I say "fuck" substantially less. (The My Bookish Ways interview is in conjunction with a giveaway, open to international entries. Just saying.) I've been distributing ARCs and author copies. I've been hyperventilating.

Okay, I've actually been hyperventilating a lot. Because starting a new series is scary, and introducing the world to a whole new cast of characters is scary, and a whole lot of things involved with this book are scary, and I am generally just a frozen ball of fear.

But the book is out now. In both physical and electronic editions, and you can order it at will. I'm going to swing by Borderlands and sign pre-ordered copies after I get off work, and then I'm going to go to Kate's and eat Indian and maybe demand a trip to Toys R Us.

The book is out now.

HAIL!

Y is for YEARS AND YEARS.

This is not a job that has an ending. This is not a job where one day, you get a gold watch and a fare-thee-well from the company. This is a job that begins when you realize it needs to be done, and ends when you die. Of the members of the family who have taken up the task of protecting the world's cryptids—five generations on American soil—not one has died a peaceful death. Not one has been allowed to walk away.

There are five graves in Buckley alone, and more waiting to be filled.

This is not a job that has an ending. This is just a job that needs to be done. Remember that, and be sure you understand what you're getting into.

Z is for ZOOLOGY.

Given sufficient time, all cryptozoology becomes zoology. That doesn't mean the work is finished.

But it's a start.

X is for XENOPHOBIA.

The Price family is needed, and the Covenant exists, because of one thing: xenophobia. The fear of the alien, the unfamiliar, the unknown, the strange. The fear that the creature under your bed is here to eat you up, not just sneak into the living room while everyone is sleeping and watch American Idol on the DVR.

The fear of what might happen.

Even Prices get a little xenophobic, when confronted with the unfamiliar; their first response to discovering the cuckoos was "kill it with fire," not "hugs for everybody." Because some things are too alien. Some things can't be reasoned with, or worked with, or appreciated on their own merits.

As long as people are people, there will be xenophobia on all sides, and as long as there's xenophobia, we're going to need people like the Prices standing in the middle, asking everybody to just take a breath and settle the fuck down.

W is for WAHEELA.

There are no werewolves in upper Canada. The waheela ate them all. But when you're a cold-resistant therianthrope that can turn into a giant wolf-bear-hybrid-thing capable of throwing cars without expending any real effort, you can pretty much eat whatever the fuck you want. Including each other; waheela don't get along, and have a nasty tendency to turn cannibal when forced to co-exist for extended periods of time. Family groups are generally temporary, and exist only as long as they can fight the urge to eat each other. Female waheela will sometimes form close bonds with their children, and littermates occasionally feel affection toward one another, but that's about it as far as loving waheela families go.

Waheela are equally comfortable in both their forms, as they find both to have advantages. Wolf-bear-hybrid-things can take down moose, which helps to keep them fed, but human fingers are better at skinning and preparing meat. Many waheela, if not the majority, prefer their food cooked, and have even learned to tolerate each other for the sake of trading meals (I give you a haunch of moose, you give me some of that venison stew, everybody wins). There is no such thing as "the average waheela," because we've never been able to spend enough time with them to find out what the average waheela would look like. They are, for the most part, not aggressive toward humans, viewing them as somewhat sad, what with their inability to turn into giant walls of furry muscle. This attitude changes quickly once humans get out the guns.

Istas (last name unknown) is a waheela living in Manhattan, where she is an active, if somewhat nerve-wracking, part of the local Gothic Lolita community. She owns nineteen frilly parasols. Woe betide he who damages one of them.

Seriously.

V is for VERITY.

Born into a different family, Verity Alice Price would have been one of those little girls who lived for ballet and jazz dance, dedicating all her free time to learning how to make her knees bend just so, how to share her emotions through the sweep of an arm and the tilt of her head. She would have made a place for herself in the world of dance, maybe in ballroom, maybe on the Broadway stage, and while she might not have changed the rules, she would have been remembered for her grace, her poise, and her contributions to the rich traditions of the art form.

She would probably have been bored out of her mind by the time she was twenty-five.

Born into the Price family, Verity was one of those little girls who lived for ballet and jazz dance...and mixed martial arts, base jumping, free running, knife throwing, taxidermy, and trying to trick her baby sister into falling down a pit trap (in her defense, her baby sister probably dug that pit). She was still a gifted dancer, but she was far more gifted in the arenas of "throwing herself off rooftops," "negotiating cease-fires between groups of hostile cryptids," and "shooting idiots in the head." She may enjoy that last one a little bit more than she ought to, really.

All things considered, Verity was probably born where she needed to be...difficulty getting blood stains out of her competition tango costumes notwithstanding. One thing's for sure: she's never bored.

It's almost time for Discount Armageddon (which is why this blog, like my life, is currently the "all InCryptid, all the time" channel; while I am doing other things, they're just mostly intended to distract me, and thus involve port and Kingdom Hearts 2). And as is always the case during the final run-up to a new book, the reviews are starting to appear, like beautiful mushrooms on a pristine lawn! Are they delicious mushrooms, full of woodland goodness? Or are they the dreaded amanita, so lovely to behold, so deadly to touch? There's only one way to find out!

Travels Through Iest has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "It is early days, but Discount Armageddon is one of the most amusing urban fantasies I’ve ever read, packed with fresh ideas and plenty of scope to expand. Hopefully sales will be strong and we readers will get to see a lot more of Verity, the Price family and the cryptids. Cheese! And Cake!" Awesome!

Travels Through Iest also reviewed Westward Weird, an anthology which contains the chronologically earliest InCryptid story currently extant (it's the story of how Alice's parents met). This review says, "The standouts for me were Seanan's story (I'm sure that's a huge surprise), but I'm a sucker for anything that features the Aeslin Mice and 'The Flower of Arizona' does that." I shall build my future on the backs of talking mice. Hey, it was good enough for Disney...

Un:Bound has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "Discount Armageddon is top notch urban fantasy treated with a sense of humor and lightness that manages to enhance rather than undermine the sense of adventure and investigation." Also: "An unusual treatment of some well trodden tropes, lots of really original ideas and an explosive start to a new urban fantasy series I am really excited about." No poisonous mushrooms here!

Lurv ala Mode has posted a lovely review of Discount Armageddon, with some call-outs that had me giggling. How can you not love a review that cites the heroine's love of jumping off tall buildings as a selling point? She says: "People. People, listen. Look, this is a really good book. I'm just going to say that I just about loved it to pieces, like the kinds of pieces one gets when they hug something breakable with super human strength and, oh, oops, there I went and broke that awesome thing. Guess it's a good thing this wasn't on the Kindle, then. Paperbacks are actually pretty forgiving when it comes to ridiculously overzealous hugs." Hee hee hee. Also, and more seriously: "As much as I moan and groan sometimes about yet another series to keep up with, I feel no such qualms about the InCryptid books and will gladly add them to the few I even bother to pre-order. If you're a fan of urban fantasy looking for something different, I can't recommend this one enough." So much glee.

Scribbles From an Abstract Mind has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "This is an enjoyable beginning to what promises to be an enjoyable series, and is to be looked forward to by all fans." Works for me.

Fantasy and Sci-Fi Lovin' News and Reviews has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "If you're a fan of urban fantasy that is light on the angst and drama and strong on action and fun then I can easily recommend Discount Armageddon." Hooray!

Finally for right now, Alice at Tales of an Intrepid Pantser has posted a review of Discount Armageddon, and says, "I loved it. I have refrained in the past from declaring any authors my favorite, because it depends on my mood, or what they've recently published, or what I feel like reading. With this book, though, Seanan McGuire cements herself as my favorite author."

...let's just leave it at that, shall we? Mushroom stew for everybody, and not a drop of poison in sight!

Glee.

U is for THE UNDERWORLD.

Guess where Alice is?

Good guess.

T is for THOMAS.

Thomas Price was a loyal member of the Covenant of St. George less because he really believed in what they were doing, and more because he couldn't think of anything better to do.

He found something better to do. Sadly, this resulted in his being pulled into an unidentified parallel world, where he may or may not still be waiting for rescue. But hey. At least he got laid before the hole opened up in the fabric of reality and engulfed him, right? Right?

...okay. So maybe it's not the best compensation. But for Thomas Price, that's all he's going to get. For the moment, at least.

We are now, Amazon's reindeer games notwithstanding, nine days from the release of Discount Armageddon. I am surprisingly calm, I think because I got all my hysteria out of the way early last week, when I got dogpiled by trolls. It's kind of amazing how that will burn the fretting right out of a girl. Book's out in nine days? Anyone calling me things I can't bring myself to repeat in front of my mother? No? Then we're totally cool.

It's interesting to contrast right now with nine days to Rosemary and Rue, when I was, well...let's just say that food and I were not long-term acquaintances during the few weeks right before that book came out. I was a screaming puddle of neurosis. I still am, to a certain degree; I'm not going to pretend that I'm not worried. Will people like this book? Will they like the world? Will they understand why I needed to start this series now, rather than waiting another x years to finish Toby?

(I got so annoyed at Joss Whedon when he left Buffy to work on Firefly, and I still think both shows would have been better served if he had stuck out the end of Buffy Summers and her story before moving on. So I get that particular "hey!" reaction. But books and TV are different, and this is only slowing Toby down a little bit, not leaving her entirely without supervision.)

I want this book to do well, partially because, well, no one writes a book they're hoping to see fail, but also because I want to spend so much time in this world. I want to write the full stories of four different generations, and that's going to take time. That's going to take commitment, and not just from me.

But oh, I love this world. And in nine days, reindeer games aside, you get the chance to maybe hopefully love them, too.

Nine days.

S is for SARAH.

Sarah Zellaby loves math, comic books, bad procedural dramas, and drinking hot ketchup mixed with orange juice and honey. And that's about where her dating profile goes off the rails (not that she dates, really; who wants to go out with a cryptid telepath who just looks like a cute geek girl?).

Sarah is a cuckoo.

She's never met her biological parents. They left her on the front porch of the Zellaby family of Cincinnati, Ohio when she was less than a week old, and the Zellabys took her in, believing that she was theirs. That's how cuckoos work. They leave their young in other nests, letting other people handle all the difficult, awkward parts of raising a child, and only come back when their precious babies inevitably turn on their human parents. There are very rarely survivors. Sadly for the Zellabys, they didn't survive; they were killed in a car crash when Sarah was still a little girl, leaving her to fend for herself.

She could have found a new human family. She could have found the cuckoos. Instead, she found Angela Baker, maybe the only non-homicidal cuckoo in the world, and her salvation.

Sarah grew up knowing that murder was wrong, which puts her well ahead of most of the cuckoos in her generation. She grew up with a family that loved her, no matter what she was, and with a strong sense of purpose.

Let's see how long that survives contact with the real world...and how long it takes for the cuckoos to come looking for their own.

R is for REALITY.

Reality is a lot more flexible than most people want to believe. No one wants monsters under their bed or lurking in their closet; they want to say "it's all safe here," close the doors, and know that they've seen the end of the nightmares, the last of the danger. No one wants the things in the shadows to be real. It's a pity that the things in the shadows don't agree.

Part of the challenge of protecting a world that isn't quite ready to admit than monsters might be real is keeping those monsters from forcing the issue. After all, there's no magic to keep people from noticing, no special set of rules that keeps the fight on a different plane of existence. There's just the fight, over and over, until somebody wins. And that may never happen.

Reality is a shifting target. When you make your throw, it's hard to know just what you're going to hit.

Pre-ordering books.

I've seen some people going "Oh, no, I pre-ordered! I'm sorry!" and variants on this theme. I want to state, for the record, that pre-orders are awesome. Pre-orders are the rainbow sprinkles on the delicious sundae of a new book: not always necessary, but always an improvement. Pre-orders tell bookstores that there is a demand for something, and can increase initial on-shelf orders. They also tell publishers how many copies of a physical book are likely to be needed. Pre-orders rule.

The issue here is not pre-orders: it's that some retailers started releasing books early. Normally, your pre-orders do count against week one sales, because normally, that's when the pre-orders are charged and delivered. In this case, due to no fault of my publisher or anyone who ordered a copy ahead of release, those pre-orders will be counted two weeks ahead of week one. My sales for week -2 are going to be awesome!

Calculating bestseller lists.

I want to say this plainly: all sales count. Period. If you buy a book, your sale is counted. That said, not all sales count for purposes of making bestseller lists, because those lists are snapshots of certain measures of time. In the case of the NYT list, it's calculated on a weekly basis, and a new book's best shot (not only, but best) of making the list is week one, when all the pre-orders are delivered and all the bookstores have the book on their "new releases" shelf.

Not making this list doesn't mean your book is a failure. I'm pretty sure Feed is my best, steadiest selling book, but it didn't make the NYT. It's simply continued to sell, week after week, and that demonstrates good long-term health for both book and author. But that's long-term. In the short-term, making the list is a good way for publishers to know that they have something worth holding onto. That's why authors hope to make it; because they want that position of "see? People like me" to support them when they try to sell the sequel.

Early sales are still counted against your overall "my book sold this many copies." They just don't count against snapshots of release week.

My publisher is awesome.

My publisher rules. They did not release my book early; some online retailers did that. They are not dropping me if I don't make any bestseller lists; they've already bought the second InCryptid book, and the next two Toby books. I worry about my sales partially because I want my publisher to be happy with me, and partially because I want to be able to sell them the next three books in both my series, but also because I love them and want them to benefit from everything they've done for me.

To recap: DAW rules, DAW did nothing wrong, DAW is standing with me, DAW is very annoyed about people calling me names.

You are awesome.

All the support and kind words have been just amazing. Thank you so, so much. I really appreciate it.

I feel a little better because you're here.

Q is for QUESTING BEAST.

Paleantologists call them "Gorgonopsids" and believe that they've been extinct for millions of years. Isn't it fun when science is wrong?

There are two known species of Questing Beast. They may both be extinct; we really don't know, and given the tendency of Questing Beasts to eat anyone who comes remotely near them, we're really not in any hurry to find out. The North American variety at least rattles when it's getting ready to launch itself at your head, which is much more polite than its European counterpart.

African and Indian Questing Beasts have been theorized from the fossil record. We'd really rather not think about that right now.

All right: here's the thing. Discount Armageddon is officially released March 6th. That's the date we've been talking about for months, that's the date you should be able to obtain the book, that's the date when sales begin counting against my first week numbers. Any books which escape into the wild before then count against my overall sales, but do not count for that all-important first week. Also, because I am number-based OCD, any books which escape into the wild before then make me feel sick, cry hysterically, and basically become non-functional with stress. It's THE BEST THING.

As of midnight Monday/the very beginning of Tuesday, Amazon has been shipping copies of Discount Armageddon. Consequentially, Barnes & Noble is doing the same thing. I haven't been saying anything because DAW is trying frantically to fix it, and I didn't want to drive sales to the sites which have chosen to release my book early. (I don't blame B&N for reacting when they saw that the book was on sale; they're a business, after all. But it's not helping my stress level any.) Please, please, do not buy my book early. I know it's hard. I know that the urge to have the shiny thing now is strong within us. I've ordered dolls from Japan and Australia, and DVD sets from Canada and the UK, for just this reason. But those things were legitimately released in the regions where I was ordering them, and Discount Armageddon has not been legitimately released anywhere at all. Please wait until March 6th. Don't punish independent bookstores, and local brick and mortar stores, for some computer's hard-to-fix mistake. Please. I am literally begging you here.

It doesn't help that so much of a book's success is measured by their first week. I've basically thrown up every time I thought about my week one numbers (including just now), because these early sales could mean the difference between a series and an accidental duology. It's unlikely—DAW is very loyal, and they stand by me—but it could happen, and I am very much worst-case-scenario girl when I'm this flipped out. So please. Do not buy early. Wait until March 6th.

And then there are the ebooks.

Both Amazon and B&N have put the physical edition of Discount Armageddon on sale, but are still holding the electronic edition for the actual release date. People who receive their physical books early are reaping the benefits of a fortuitous, author-breaking error. People who have to wait for their electronic books are not being denied anything; they're doing what was supposed to happen in the first place. This has not stopped the exciting emails from rolling in. They mostly stopped after the first day, but on that first day, I was called...

( A lot of bad things are behind this cut. If you don't want to see, just go with 'I was called a lot of bad things.'Collapse )

See, apparently, the ebooks are being withheld because I, personally, am trying to force everyone to buy my preferred format (physical). So sexual threats and relentless abuse are totally acceptable, because it just shows me the error of my ways.

I have nothing to do with the books being available early. I wish they weren't.

I have no control over whether the electronic editions are available early. I'm glad they're not, but it's not because I'm a greedy bitch; it's because I don't want any editions available early.

I am literally sick with stress, and this is not in any way helping. Please, don't buy my books before their actual release date. Please, don't place an order with a site which is offering my books before their actual release date. Please, don't call me horrible names because you can't have what you want the second that you want it.

Please.

(Because it must be said...comment amnesty. I'm already crying hard enough.)

P is for PRICE.

Families are shaped by the worlds that they live in; nothing happens in a vaccum.

The Price family as we know it today began when Thomas Price, late of the Covenant of St. George, married Alice Healy, last survivor of the branch of the Healy family which began with Alexander and Enid Healy's departure from the Covenant. There's a reason the modern Covenant considers them "a lineage of traitors."

Alice and Thomas were happy. Not happy ever after, but happy long enough to have two children, even if Thomas never saw his daughter born. Their son, Kevin, went on to meet and marry a girl named Evelyn, who had been raised by unlikely adoptive parents: a cuckoo and a Revenant. Every family has its secrets, I suppose. Their daughter, Jane, tried three times to quit the family business, before marrying a nice man named Theodore Harrington. Pity he turned out to be an incubus...

Kevin and Evelyn had three children: Alexander, who specializes in reptile and psuedomammalian cryptids; Verity, who specializes in sapient city-dwelling cryptids; and Antimony, who specializes in explosives, pit traps, and driving everyone around her to distraction. The family has never been larger, and one focused air strike could still take them all out.

It's dangerous to be a Price...and there's a Price for everything.

O is for OREAD.

What do you call a silica-based life form that looks exactly like a human being? No, seriously. This isn't a joke; what do you call it? Well, if you're Verity Price, you call it "Marcy," and you let it take the difficult tables during the lunch shift.

The evolution of oreads is heavily debated among cryptozoological circles, as they really do seem to be silica-based, rather than carbon-based, although dissections are somewhat hampered by the need to use a rock hammer. Modern laser technology may help clear up some of the many, many linger questions, as soon as someone with the desire to dissect an oread learns how to use a laser, and gets hold of a dead oread (not easy).

Oreads appear all over the world, but are commonly named from the Greek, simply because those were the first ones most Western cryptozoologists encountered. They have human-level intelligence, and will generally self-identify as the common name for their race.

Some people regard oreads as a bit slow. They're not. They just don't see any reason to hurry things for you.

Hey! Want to read Discount Armageddon a little early and help a good cause at the same time? Well, DAW has kindly donated an ARC of Discount Armageddon to con_or_bust, and you can bid on it right now.

What is Con or Bust? Well, in the words of its administrator, "Con or Bust is a fund that
helps fans of color/non-white fans attend SFF cons and that is administered by the Carl Brandon Society, a 501(c)(3) organization whose mission is to increase racial and ethnic diversity in the production of and audience for speculative fiction. Con or Bust isn't a scholarship and isn't limited by geography, type of con-goer, or con (it was established to send people to WisCon, but has since broadened its efforts); its goal is simply to help fans of color go to SFF cons and be their own awesome selves."

Increasing diversity is awesome, and it's something we should encourage as much as possible. All the better if you can get some fun reading material at the same time, right? You can find the listing for Discount Armageddon right over here, and bidding is open through February 25th.

Help a cool charity, and get a book for yourself at the same time. Everybody wins!

N is for NECESSITY.

No one chooses this sort of life because they're bored, or because they have nothing better to do. They do it because this is the sort of thing that needs doing, and sometimes, necessity is what gets to drive the boat. They do it because it's not right for the weak to be dominated by the strong, or for wrongs to go unavenged...or for unicorns to die for nothing. They do it because there's not really a choice, not when you get down to the bottom of things.

They do it because sometimes you do what's right, no matter what it takes...no matter what it costs you. And in this business, sometimes what it costs you is going to be everything.

M is for MICE.

Oh, the mice.

Aeslin mice are highly religious. They want to believe. They need to believe. Their mental health depends on it. So they find something they can believe in, and they believe in it with all their might, for as long as that thing endures. Sometimes it's an object, or a place. Other times, as with the colony that currently lives with the Price family, it's a bloodline. To the Aeslin mice, the women of the Price family are priestesses, and the men? The men are Gods.

The Catechism of the Mice begins with Caroline, the Compassionate Priestess, and continues through the generations to the present day. They have celebrated every birth and mourned every death. They have given their lives in the name of the family. They have given their hearts in the honor of the family. They have given everything they are, and in return, the family has cared for and protected them, and has sworn to continue doing so for as long as family, and colony, endure.

Aeslin mice never forget anything. If they have heard it, or seen it, they recall it. There are divisions within the central family colony, each dedicated to preserving the teachings of their specific Priestesses to future generations. While the colony that lives today will learn the present en masse, in the future, Evelyn, Verity, and Antimony will be remembered by their own branches of the Aeslin priesthood. Nothing is ever forgotten. Nothing is ever left behind.

All Prices are remembered forever, in the rituals of the mice. No one ever leaves for good. As long as there is a family, the colony will endure.

L is for LOVE.

Sometimes love is the only thing that motivates a person to do things they really ought to know better than doing, like, oh. Making a bargain with an unknown and potentially demonic force to keep someone's flesh from sloughing entirely off their bodies. As an example. Or following their suddenly missing husbands through holes hewn in the very fabric of reality while eight months pregnant, trying to get them back. As a slightly worse example.

Still. Love can be a good thing. It was love of the mice that allowed Enid Healy to listen to her husband when he told her what he had found. It was love of his daughter that caused Jonathan Healy to follow Alice into the woods on the night when she went looking for whatever it was that had been killing local children. And it was love that caused Angela Baker to adopt three children, one of whom she knew might well grow up to be a murderer. Love makes the world go 'round.

Love is the thing that can hurt you the most. Beware of love.

There's nothing darker in these hills.

K is for KNIVES.

Don't leave home without them.

Guns can jam; ammunition runs out. Poison doesn't care who it kills. Bombs explode. Flash paper gets wet and

won't work. Flesh is weak. Bones break. Everything gives out. But knives...knives stick with you. Knives

stay true.

Stay alive. Stay alert. Stay armed.

J is for JOHRLAC.

Mostly people call them "cuckoos"...wait, no. That's not right. Mostly, people don't call them anything at all, because mostly, no one realizes that they exist. The Johrlac are sneaky, telepathic ambush predator nest parasites who slip into your life like a knife slips into a wound. You never see them coming. By the time the walls start crumbling around you, it's already far too late.

They bleed clear, biological antifreeze that possesses antibiotic properties. Some people say this is proof that the cuckoos came from another dimension, that they didn't evolve in this world, under this set of evolutionary rules. Others say this is proof that the cuckoos are so mean, so dangerous, that they even kill bacteria. Medicinal properties fueled by spite. (The question of how the Johrlac can maintain sufficient intestinal flora to digest things has never been answered, and no one is entirely sure they want to know.)

They hate you. Don't take it personally; the cuckoos hate everyone, including each other. Baby cuckoos are conceived in hormonally-fueled hate, and dropped summarily on the doorsteps of the unwitting, because mother cuckoos even hate their children. Love is an alien weakness, and should never be tolerated. When cuckoos work together, it's because they've decided there's something more important than their hate. Be afraid.

They love math. No one knows why, except for maybe the cuckoos themselves, but it seems to be a biological compulsion for them. The Sudoku craze owes its success partially to the manipulations of the Johrlac. Look for them in math classes and in science museums, or even volunteering to help tutor children. The one time that cuckoos interact peacefully with humans is when math is involved. Don't trust it. Their attention span is short, and eventually, they'll forget that you were just helping them with their homework in favor of destroying your world.

They can read your mind. Johrlac are natural telepaths, and they're not above breaking past all your defenses to get what they want out of the recesses of your brain. They have no ethics. They have no qualms. They have no mercy.

Be afraid of the cuckoos. It might help you live a little longer.

I is for INCUBUS.

Technically, there's no such thing, since technically, they're just the males of the Lilu, not a species unto themselves. Succubi don't technically exist, either; they're female Lilu. But since the two genders are different enough to be treated as members of different species, it seems best to go ahead and act like that's true.

Incubi look human, for the most part. They also look really, really good, like the hottest men ever to walk the planet. The trouble is, most people can't agree on what they looked like after they leave the room. That's because when you combine hormones, pheromones, and supernatural sexuality, looks cease to matter quite as much. This can be awfully hard on the nerves of the poor incubi, who either become incurable shut-ins, or spend their time seducing people for fun. The first variety are rarely an issue. The second, on the other hand...

Well. There's a reason the Covenant used to prioritize incubus hunts over anything short of dragon-slaying.

Aunt Jane married an incubus. They have two children, Elsinore and Arthur, who are remarkably well-adjusted, all things considered. Neither of them dates much.

H is for HEALY.

Originally from Great Britain, the Healys served the Covenant of St. George for over five hundred years without question or complaint. Some members of the family still do; Alexander and Enid did not, after all, represent the entire family line. In their time, the Healys were great monster hunters, and their name struck fear into cryptid hearts all across the Continent.

In Buckley, Michigan, the name "Healy" means the brief legacy of librarians who ran the local library with gentle hands and friendly smiles. Alexander Healy, the first man to encourage female library aides to apply. Jonathan Healy, stiffer and a little more awkward than his father, but friendly and brilliant. Alice Healy, who came home after the death of her grandfather and ran the children's library for years.

On the ghostroads, the name "Healy" means a smiling blonde woman with six-shooters at her hips and an Arizona drawl, showing a newly-died ghost girl how to make the best of what she had become. Frances Healy knew how to make an impression.

In certain drinking halls and secret libraries, the name "Healy" still means a Welshwoman with ink-stained fingers and clever eyes, asking questions no one had thought to ask before. Enid Healy expanded the family's understanding of the cryptid world by centuries.

The Healy legacy lives on in their descendants, the Price family, and in a certain strain of angry monster hunters, still working for the Covenant, furious about what their family has become. Blood is thicker than water, after all.

G is for GORGONS.

There are three types of gorgon. The lesser gorgon, best known for apologizing profusely when their hair bites someone; the Pliny's gorgon, larger in size and stronger in venom; and the greater gorgon, on whose back are many legends built. Most of them end with half the parties dead, and the other half turned to stone. Sometimes becoming a legend isn't exactly the best outcome you can hope for.

Carol is a lesser gorgon living in Manhattan. She likes sappy romances, exotic ice creams, and long walks in the reptile house at the local zoo. Her hobbies include bartending (she's working toward getting her license), antiquing, and collecting humorous salt and pepper shakers. She's been registered with several online dating sites for the last five years, trying to filter through the unspoken cues and secret codes to find a lesser gorgon male who might be interested in a romantic dinner next to the zoo's Burmese python enclosure. So far, she's found several snake enthusiasts, a few individuals with unexpected fetishes, and one Pliny's gorgon, whose hair didn't get along with hers. It's hard to be a mythological creature and have a healthy dating life in the modern age.

Gorgon hair insists on live feeding, which can get quite expensive, especially for the greater gorgons. Their hair can get big enough to eat rabbits.

No gorgon has ever taken human complaints about "bad hair days" even a little bit seriously.

F is for FRAN (and FRICKENS).

Frances Brown was the Flower of Arizona, the Star of New Mexico, and the darling of the Campbell Family Circus, a small traveling show that stayed alive by hook, crook, and whatever means necessary until it ended in a hail of bullets and blame. Frannie grew up with the circus; she was found outside the main tent when she was barely a week old, tucked into a cardboard box filled with cotton batting. They named her after the snake handler's favorite python, and set her to work. By the time she was six, Fran could ride bareback, fling a knife knowing she'd catch her target, and charm the wallet right out of a townie's hand.

Fran left Arizona with Jonathan Healy after the circus closed, and the pair traveled to Buckley. Neither had marriage in mind when they arrived, and at first, all Fran wanted was to head back to the desert, where things made sense and the sky was a proper size. Then Enid led her into the woods and introduced her to the anuraves—little feathered frogs who flocked in the trees near the swamp. Fran was charmed, and dubbed them "frickens," a name which promptly stuck. She decided that maybe there was virtue in staying after all.

Frances Brown married Jonathan Healy, to the surprise of no one save for perhaps Jonathan. They had two children, Alice and Daniel, and buried one, long before he should have died. She did her best to do right by her family, and by herself, and by the world that she'd chosen to belong to.

No one ever made a choice for Frances Healy. She made all her choices for herself, and on the February evening when she walked into the woods and never walked back out, well. She made that choice, too.

They say she was the best.

They're not wrong.

E is for ENID.

Enid Healy was a loyal member of the Covenant of St. George. She fought the things they told her to fight, she thought the things they told her to think, and when the time came, she married the man they told her to marry. But Enid had a secret. She was harboring a colony of cryptid mice, passed down to her from her grandmother, and viewed their protection as more important than the Covenant's edicts. When the time came, she revealed them to her husband, and together, they decided that their association with the Covenant was no longer in their best interests. They left for America...leaving their eldest son, who was loyal to the Covenant, behind. Not everything in life can go the way we plan.

Enid spent the rest of her life in Buckley Township, Michigan. She raised her younger son, Jonathan, and taught him everything she could to keep him alive. She saw the mice through several generations. She stood proud at her son's marriage to Frances Brown, late of Arizona, and she assisted in the birthing of both her grandchildren. She wept like any grandmother would when they buried her grandson, the first member of the Healy family to be lain to rest in Michigan's soil.

He wouldn't be the last.

While she lived, Enid was the best shot in Buckley. She tended her garden, tended her family, and saw her granddaughter grow into a woman. She died with regrets, because she was only human, but she died glad of the life she'd lived, and secure in the knowledge that she'd done the best she could. The mice remember her as the Patient Priestess, and like all Healy women, Enid rests easy in the immortality of the mice.

D is for DRAGON PRINCESSES.

They're gorgeous. Curvy pin-up girls with big blue eyes and long golden hair, soft and round and smiling like they have a secret. And they do have a secret. They're not human. A symbiotic cryptid race, the dragon princesses were once the caretakers and companions of the great dragons, before the Covenant of St. George wiped them all out. The dragon princesses have endured the loss of their masters, and now live amongst the humans, concealed by their similarities, forever separated by their differences.

If that cute blonde barrista at the Starbucks downtown puts gold dust in her mocha or sets herself on fire during her break, there's a good chance that she's a dragon princess. Be nice to her. She's been through a lot.

C is for COVENANT OF ST. GEORGE.

Before the Covenant of St. George, there was a good chance that you or your siblings would be eaten by a dragon or calcified by a basilisk on your way home from church. The Covenant leveled the playing field by taking out some of the world's most dangerous monsters, clearing the way for humanity to become the dominant species. Without them, the world would be a very different, very dangerous place.

Before the Covenant of St. George, young cryptids slept content in the knowledge that Mommy and Daddy would be coming home with food for their bellies and fuel for their fires. The Covenant slaughtered innocent cryptids in the guise of "protecting the weak," and left their children to starve, uncomprehending, in a world that was suddenly hard and hostile.

Every story changes, depending on where you're standing when you look at it. Nothing has only one side. And whatever side you're not on, well...that side is probably the wrong one.

B is for BOGEYMEN.

Bogeymen like dark places, like attics and basements and the back of your closet. Bogeymen are closely related to humans, but they branched off right around the time that Homo erectus was figuring out how to use rocks as weapons, and they've never looked back. Bogeymen have a great fondness for secrets. If there's something going on, odds are good that your local bogeyman knows about it, and would be happy to share what he knows...for a price. No bogeyman ever worked cheap, or failed to look for the most profitable angle.

"Bogeyman" is gender-neutral. Female bogeymen are just as dangerous as male bogeymen, and just as likely to be hiding underneath your bed.

Sleep well.