I flew Virgin Atlantic to the UK, as is my wont: when I can stay within the Virgin family of airlines, I am a happy rabbit. I had a window seat on the Lady Penelope. I also had my housemate's cold, which he had handed off to me as a thoughtful parting gift. (Given the length of the flight, I am sure the people around me also had my housemate's cold by the time we landed. I am so sorry. I thought I was done with the cold, until we got into the air and the cabin pressure said "ha ha have some snot.") Lastly, I had Kate's old iPad, which she has kindly loaned to me for the duration of the trip. Loaded on the iPad, I had all of Leverage and all of Fringe.

I slept a little. I read a few pages of my book. I ate the airline food, which was surprisingly excellent. But most of all, I watched Leverage. Ten and a half hour flights leave a lot of room for television. Big, big thanks to Meg, whose clever little portable charger allowed me to top off the iPad every time it started yearning for a bigger battery. I drained that sucker dry, and I have no regrets.

So before I flew, I had been a sensible girl, and booked a car service to take me and Vixy from Heathrow to our temporary hotel in Crawley (near Gatwick). Only it turns out that we hadn't been that sensible, as Vixy called me before I got to the airport in San Francisco to tell me that she was flying into Gatwick, a fact that we had both forgotten. Oops. I wound up in the car alone, and had a lovely chat with Colin, the driver, about spiders and New Zealand and the wildlife of England. A+ car service, would screw up booking again.

Vixy had already landed by this point, about an hour and a half before me. Her name was not actually on the hotel room, but she had a copy of the Expedia booking, and the front desk let her into the room, where she gloried in the presence of a decent bed. I showed up, and we summoned Amy before having a wander and dinner in the (overpriced, under-qualitied) hotel restaurant. Then we went to bed, and when I woke up the next morning? I had become the plague queen.

Amy went to the Boots and bought a bunch of cold remedies, including a cough syrup which turned out to contain, no shit, chloroform. It tasted funny. (Brooke was quite distressed when I told her about it.) Amy spent the next few days looking dreamy and saying "I chloroformed my girlfriend." Of such simple pleasures is the world made. I, on the other hand, spent the next day in bed, yearning for death. The day after that, my fever had broken, and it was time to decamp for LonCon3.

Wes met us at the train station and carried our bags to the hotel. Wes is a god among men.

Vixy and I were in the Aloft, the hotel nearest to the convention, while everyone else was in the Novatel at the other end of the convention center. Oops. Such is the consequence of lottery booking. And as this takes us to the end of the pre-con travel and the start of the convention, I shall continue later.

England!

I'm about to go and be a Guest of Honor at SHAMROKON, the Irish Eurocon, held in scenic Dublin, Ireland! I hope to see you there; if you're not already planning to attend, you probably aren't going to do it on a whim, because it's a long flight from many places. So, well...if you're not coming, you will be missed, and here's all the fun we're going to have!

Friday.

Filk Warmup for the Terrified, 4:00-5:00pm, D. Ulster (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

An intro and warmup session for people who would like to stand up and perform but would like some guidance first. Me and Tim Griffin and stuff about filk!

Opening Ceremony, 6:00-7:00pm, A. Pembroke (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

We're at the con, so we better get this party started! Brian Nisbet (M), Michael Carroll, Jim Fitzpatrick, Gareth Kavanagh, Seanan McGuire, Andrzej Sapkowski, James Shields, Ylva Spångberg. I have no idea what we're going to do to open the con. Maybe there will be a can opener. It's anybody's guess!

Probably gonna have a concert in here. I will post the exact time when I know what it is. Which is sort of terrifying, given that the convention is, you know. Tomorrow.

Late Night Conversation with Seanan, 11:00pm-12:00am, D. Ulster (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

Quoth the con: "Join one of our Guests of Honour, Seanan McGuire, for a casual chat, touching on Zombies, Tumblr, Pokemon, filk, parties and everything inbetween. Bring a drink and an open mind!" I'mma touch stuff. Touchy touchy.

Saturday.

Guest of Honour Interview, 2:00-4:00pm, A. Pembroke (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

I'm going to be interviewed by Janet O'Sullivan! I have no idea how this is going to play out! Maybe I will eat her! Come see for yourself.

Pseudonyms, 5:00-6:00pm, D. Ulster (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

Pseudonyms, anonymous publications and pen names have been a part of SF&F writing ever since Frankenstein was published anonymously. Sometimes they're an open secret to aid branding (eg Mira Grant) and sometimes they're a secret to allow a work to be judged on its own merits (JK Rowling). Ann VanderMeer (M), Laura Anne Gilman, Seanan McGuire.

Jamming Session, 8:00pm-12:00am, C. Munster (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

Tim Griffin and I are apparently doing a jam session. I don't know. Maybe we're making jam. I like jam.

Sunday.

Guest of Honour Signing Session, 10:00-11:30am, A. Pembroke (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

Mass guest of honor signing! Woo!

The Zombie Infection, 1:00-2:00pm, E. Room 1/2 (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

It's spread from film, to books and comics, to songs, to board games, dice games, video games. A look at the cross genre infection, and how each genre is effected by it and what it brings to the brain buffet.

Genre Toys, 3:00-4:00pm, D. Ulster (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

Warning: I'mma talk about Monster High.

Closing Ceremony, 6:00-7:00pm, A. Pembroke (Double Tree by Hilton Dublin Burlington Road).

The end of the convention, where the winners of the ESFS awards and the Golden Blasters will be announced, and trophies will be given out. Victory and survival!

It's almost time for the San Diego International Comic Convention, and you know what that means: I am busier than a chicken with a field full of caterpillars to devour, and it's time for me to tell you where to find me. Since otherwise, well...it does not bear thinking of.

Wednesday.

Preview night begins with a bang, and I'll be there the whole time! I am going to be in a wheelchair again, for the duration of this convention, because otherwise I won't survive. I'll have some fun prizes for the first few people to find me during the con. I also have a request: namely, I did not successfully get this year's Monster High two-pack during the pre-sale, and I am not going to be terribly mobile (see again, wheelchair).

If you find yourself in the Mattel line, and if you feel like picking up a two-pack (or two, since I like to unbox one and keep one mint-in-box) for me, I will gladly pay you back. Note that I am making this request because I don't want to pay scalper prices: I'm happy to negotiate some signed books, or mailing you some CDs after the con, but I really am hoping to find a kind soul who's already going through the line and will grab them for me at cost. Don't worry about being Kind Soul #2: I will totally buy as many two-packs as people bring me, because I have nieces and friends who collect.

Bring on...

Thursday.

Orbit booth signing, 11:00am. I/Mira Grant will be signing at the Orbit booth at 11:00am! I don't know what they'll be giving away vs. what they'll be selling, but I will also sign books you bring with you. Big fun!

When Magic & Myth Meet Main Street, 3:00pm. Join me, Amber Benson, Jim Butcher, Richard Kadrey, Thomas Sniegoski, and Greg van Eekhout as we discuss urban fantasy and why it's AWESOME. Room 25ABC, to be followed by a signing in the Autographing Area.

Friday.

Penguin booth signing, 11:00am. I'll be signing at the Penguin Booth, along with some other awesome authors, and you should totally come. There may be cool surprises...

Saturday.

The Art of Fear, 2:30pm. It's time to get creepy. Join me, G. Michael Hopf, Katherine Howe, April Genevieve Tucholke, Brenna Yovanoff, and James Rollins as we talk about what scares us, and what should scare you. Room 8, to be followed by a signing in the Autographing Area.

California Browncoats booth signing, 11:00am. One last signing to finish out the weekend and make everybody's morning a little more terrifying.

Mind you, all this assumes that we're going to survive the Rising; events may be canceled at any time as zombies eat us all.

Even as a zombie, I will still want those dolls.

Tomorrow morning I shall rise, bright and early, and head for the airport, where a plane will be waiting to take me (and a bunch of strangers, that being the way of air travel) away to glorious Minnesota, where the state bird, the mosquito, will no doubt be waiting to carry me away.

Why am I going to Minnesota? Why, 4th Street Fantasy, of course. My schedule for the weekend:

Friday.

I will be doing the Writer's Seminar all day. Now, since this starts at 9am, and I will be several hours ahead of my normal time zone, I do not promise coherency before around noon. But hey, that's where some of the best advice comes from, right?

Saturday.

Originality and Micro-genre, 9:30am. To quote the con: "Readers who are versed in a sub-genre and its conventions can find what outsiders see as minor variations on a theme to be significant and original differences. How does this relate to the frequently expressed desire among critics for originality and ambition, and how is the perception of originality informed by the breadth/focus of readers' experiences?" To quote me: "Why do you hate sleep?"

Sunday.

Influence, Tropes, and Prior Art, 11:30am. To quote the con: "Authors who came before them influence nearly every author. Is it easier to be influenced by certain styles of work, or in certain ways? To what extent do we model our works on existing texts or narrative templates, and how often are those influences visible when reading the finished product?" To quote me: "Hooray! Sleep!"

So this should be a super-fun weekend, and all the programming looks great. Plus you'll get to see me in a sleep-deprived haze, and that's gonna be awesome. Hope to see you there!

It's almost time for Phoenix Comic Con, and that means it's time for the Arizona Edition of Where's Seanan? Whee!

Friday.

Improbable Dystopias, 10:30–11:30AM, North 131
What makes some worlds believable and others not? Is there any point to setting the whole sky on fire? Panelists: Janni Lee Simner, Jason Hough, Laini Taylor, Pierce Brown, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant.

Signing, 11:30AM, Mysterious Galaxy Table 2526

Comedy's Hard—The Secrets of How and When to be Funny, 1:30–2:30PM, Sheraton Valley of the Sun
Writing humor is a difficult trick. Come listen to some of Phoenix Comicon's author guests who make it look easy and find out their secrets to getting laughs into a story. I'll probably tell stick jokes. Panelists: Gini Koch, Jim Butcher, John Scalzi, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant, Wesley Chu.

Deadlands: The Weird West's Wild Future, 4:30–5:30PM, North 127ab
Hear about all the news happening about the weird western RPG Deadlands about to be turned into an Xbox TV Series. Why am I on this panel? You'll have to show up to find out. Panelists: Charles Sellner, Jeffrey J. Mariotte, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant, Shane Hensley.

Paul and Storm Concert, 8:30–10:30PM, North Ballroom 120
Join the musical comedy duo Paul and Storm (Geek & Sundry's LearningTown) for a concert event with authors that you won't want to miss. Joining in will be NYT bestselling authors Patrick Rothfuss, John Scalzi, and Seanan McGuire with other special guests. YEAH YOU READ THAT RIGHT I AM PERFORMING WITH PAUL AND STORM WOO WE'RE GONNA TEAR IT UP AND MAYBE SET SOME SHIT ON FIRE WOO!!!!

Saturday.

Using Zombies or Something Like Them, 10:30–11:30AM, North 126bc
Authors who make use of zombies or creatures like them discuss their take on the creatures. Because that never leads to bloodshed. Panelists: David Wellington, Jason Hough, Joseph Nassise, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant, Tom Leveen, Weston Ochse.

SF Squeecast Panel, 1:30–2:30PM, West 212
Join the SF Squeecast and their special guest for an hour of fannish squee and delight over the latest cool stuff in Science Fiction and Fantasy. Maybe this will be the time when I finally unhinge my jaw and sing the song that ends the world. Panelists: Catherynne Valente, Charlaine Harris, Elizabeth Bear, Lynne M. Thomas, Michael Damian Thomas, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant.

Signing, 3:00 pm, Signing Table VIP20

Sunday.

Supernatural Elements in Contemporary Fantasy, 10:30–11:30AM, Sheraton Valley of the Sun
Authors discuss what goes into deciding the supernatural elements that surface in their paranormal variations on the real world. They say there's a panel here, but then they put me and Amber and Charlaine together, so we're probably just gonna tell filthy stories for an hour. Panelists: Amber Benson, Charlaine Harris, Chuck Wendig, Kevin Hearne, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant, Weston Ochse.

Author Chicks Who Dig Time Lords, 1:30–2:30PM, North 131
Join contiributors to Chicks Dig Time Lords and Chicks Unravel Time as they discussed their love of Doctor Who and how it has influenced them in their careers. PS: It's a documentary. Panelists: Carole Barrowman, Catherynne Valente, Elizabeth Bear, Lynne M. Thomas, Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant.

Signing, 3:00 pm, Signing Table VIP20

I hope I see you all there!

It's time for Emerald City Comic-Con, Seattle's very own answer to the fact that San Diego has become the Mordor of Nerds! It's an awesome three day event in lovely downtown Seattle, and once again, I'm going to be bringing down the house in my own inimitable (and occasionally awkward) fashion.

I have one program item this year: "Beyond the Genre in Genre Fiction" on Friday morning at 11:40am. I am appearing with a bunch of truly awesome people, including Kory Bing, who some among you may remember as the illustrator for the InCryptid Field Guide. I am super excited! You should come!

If you can make the con but can't make my panel, I'll be around throughout the weekend, and am happy to sign things if spotted. Or if not spotted, but then the things may not belong to you.

Emerald City!

It is with great pleasure that I remind you all that the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be assembling this Saturday at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books. We'll be getting underway at 6pm, and rocking the roof until closing time comes and they kick us all out! Why are we partying?

To celebrate the release of Half-Off Ragnarok, naturally.

There will be cupcakes! There will be music and a raffle and reading and some Q&A, and it will be a hootenanny of a good time, with a whole lotta hoot AND a whole lotta nanny! Bring your kids! Bring your siblings! Bring your slime monsters! We totally hope to see you there.

Since this book does contain snakes, I will probably talk about snakes at some point during the evening. So while I would love to have you there, if you're deathly afraid of snakes, it might be a good idea to skip this one. (On the plus side, I'm pretty funny when I talk about snakes.)

Remember that Borderlands does take telephone and email orders, and would be happy to send you signed books (and they do have Letters to the Pumpkin King in stock). Get a book already touched by pure awesome. Or, you know. Ink. The party starts Saturday at 6pm!

Cheese! And! Cake!

Just a friendly reminder that you can see me and the ever-awesome Tim Powers this very weekend at FOGcon, in Walnut Creek, California. Enjoy a small convention atmosphere with awesome guests, awesome attendees, and a lot of awesome things to do. It's a trifecta of awesome, and I hope I get to see you there!

(Sadly, the cats do not enjoy car rides, so Thomas will not be making an appearance. But my mother will, and you know you want to meet her. She's a lot of fun.)

Yay, FOGcon!

So I've been in New Jersey/Boston/New York for the last two weeks. (No, those cities are not all smack-dab next to each other on the map; I flew into New York, was driven to New Jersey, was driven from there to Boston for a convention, returned to New Jersey, and have spent the time since commuting between New Jersey and New York for publisher meetings, dinners, lunches, more publisher meetings, and Pippin on Broadway.) According to the Virgin America website, my flight home is still scheduled to depart on-time, and I should be back in California by this afternoon.

I am really, really ready to be home.

I get twitchy and overly tired when I'm traveling for too long, and this is the longest trip I've taken in quite a while—longest in around ten years that hasn't involved a Disney Park in some way. I've been sleeping, but not enough; the sun comes up when I'm not expecting it, and smacks me back into the real world before I'm finished restoring myself to normal operating conditions. Sometimes I've been able to nap, but mostly not, since I've been running myself ragged dealing with the business side of publishing. Well, and seeing Pippin, which I managed to do twice.

This was in some ways a test run for my trip to Europe this fall, and I'm coming away from it very, very glad that I have people who are willing to let me be a bear in their guest rooms for a day or two. While it's going to be a longer time away from home, it should go better, because outside of conventions, I'm going to have less that I must do. Worldcon, Eurocon, Disneyland Paris, and Filk Continental are the only unmovable objects, and they're spaced out enough that I'll be able to move through them with relative ease. I'll just need to hibernate periodically.

I am tired. I miss my cats dreadfully. I need to restore my equilibrium, and that means going back into my hole.

I am going home.

It's almost time for Boskone! Because Boston is best in...February...when the snow is...um. Okay, I may have made a small tactical error, except no, because Boskone! So many awesome people will be there, and I will be there too!

But what will I be doing? Well...

Friday.

Bring Back My Favorite TV Show!, 5:00 PM.
Just A Minute, 7:00 PM.
Boskone Meet the Guests & Art Show Reception, 9:00 PM.

Because Friday is the day we re-define what it means to see me talk for three hours solid. But wait, there's more...

Saturday.

Killer Plagues, 11:00 AM.
Interview With Guest of Honor Seanan McGuire, 1:00 PM.

I'm being interviewed by Elizabeth Bear! That's how you know it's going to be a good interview: the interviewer knows me well, and has no qualms about asking me horrible questions.

Sunday.

A Literary Wonderland, 11:00 AM.
Autographing with Seanan McGuire & Melinda Snodgrass, 12:00 PM.
Kaffeeklatsche with Seanan McGuire, 1:00 PM.

This is going to be the most low-key kaffeeklatsche ever, and I hope to see you there.

Hey, people of Earth (and parts beyond)! Remember that this coming weekend I will be the Author Guest of Honor at SFContario, appearing with such luminaries as David Kyle and Chandler Davis. I alone lack that essential "davi" construction: come to shore me up, lest I be destroyed.

I'll be doing an awesome concert Friday night, and there will be awesome things throughout the weekend; if you're in the Toronto area, please consider swinging by to get a little awesome on your shoes.

Hey, folks! Sorry I'm so quiet right now—I'm still trying to dig myself out from under the epic flood of crap relating to my book tour—but I thought you might like to know what I'm doing tomorrow night. Namely...

Writers With Drinks! Come out, drink booze, meet awesome authors, and hear me read something (assuming I don't start drinking early and dip into my stand-up act, which would be funny but dangerous).

If you're in the Bay Area, come out and get your drink on! If you're not, I will be dropping by Borderlands Books before the event, and can sign and personalize anything that's waiting for me there. I cringe saying this, but: holiday shopping takes time, and you can skim a little off the top by contacting Borderlands, who will shove things in front of me and then mail them to you, no fuss, no muss.

Well. Maybe a little muss. But only a little.

See you tomorrow night!

Hey, happy people! In less than twelve hours, I will be boarding a giant metal sky-bird to fly to Denver, Colorado, home of very little oxygen, very impressive floods, and Mile Hi Con, where you'll have the rare opportunity to see me and Cat Valente together on stage! (Okay. Not that rare. We do this whenever people let us. But still.)

You can see me at...

Friday.

7:00PM: Opening ceremonies.
9:00PM: The Return of Kitty and the Midnight Hour. Hosted by Carrie Vaughn! With me and Cat as awesome guests!
10:00PM: Run, Run, The End of All Flesh Is Upon Us: Cat Valente and Seanan McGuire in Conversation. It's like an Evening with Kevin Smith, but a lot boobier, and sometimes even swearier.

Saturday.

11:00AM: Mad Scientists in Fiction, Film, and Filk.
2:00PM: Autographing! With Carrie! I love Carrie.
4:00PM: An Hour With Author GoH, Seanan McGuire.

Sunday.

9:00AM: Kaffeeklatch.
11:00AM: GoH Remarks and Awards.
1:00PM: Write On!
3:00PM: Conquering Sexism in Geek Culture.
5:00PM: Closing ceremonies.

I hope to see you all there! Or at least all of you for whom it is vaguely physically possible. Yay, Colorado!

It's a tour! It's a tour! It's an honest-to-Betsy book tour! You can find the full details here, along with links to some fun promo material, but the real meat of things is the dates, times, and places. Specifically:

Tuesday, October 29
7 PM: Borderlands, 866 Valencia Street, San Francisco, CA

Wednesday, October 30
7 PM: Books Inc. Mountain View, 301 Castro Street, Mountain View, CA

Thursday, October 31
7 PM: Mysterious Galaxy, 7051 Clairemont Mesa Boulevard, San Diego, CA

Friday, November 1
7 PM: B&N #2280, 401 NE Northgate Way #1100, Seattle, WA

Saturday, November 2
2 PM: B&N #2262, 12000 SE 82nd Avenue, Portland, OR

I'm going to go zoom zoom zoom, and then boom boom boom, and if you're in the room room room, you might meet your doom doom doom. I am so excited. I have never had an actual book tour before, and I'm gonna wreck it.

Now, if you are not able to make it to any of the book tour stops, please remember that Borderlands Books a) takes pre-orders via both internet and phone, and b) will ship. So you can get a signed, personalized copy of Parasite of your very own, even if you're not in a position to risk life and limb by getting it from me directly. They make amazing holiday gifts, and can be used to either kill or house spiders, depending on where you put them.

Book tour!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

Tomorrow's Party Schedule!

The Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show is returning to our home of homes at Borderlands Books, and we couldn't be happier about it. SEE! The Amazing Mary, imported all the way from Alabama to enchant you with her wicked ways! HEAR! The Incredible Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff, masters of the rocking arts! GAZE IN AWE! At Paul and Beckett, guitar and harmonica, as they ensnare your senses! And I'll be there, of course.

Our evening...

4:00 PM: Setup, sound check, and final details. You can show up, but we may ignore you if you do. Sorry about that.
5:00 PM: Welcome to our party. We're done ignoring you now. Would you like some music?
5:30 PM: Perhaps you would like to win things.
5:40 PM: Now there will be cupcakes and autographing.
6:00 PM: More music?
6:30 PM: More prizes?
6:40 PM: Q&A and book discussion.
7:10 PM: Last music of the night.
7:40 PM: Let's raffle some more stuff off.
7:50 PM: Thanks and final questions before we close the evening.

This iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be in the cafe; the bookstore will be open throughout the evening. The cafe will also be open, and they've promised to have plenty of bread and delicious pastry this time. Raffle tickets will be available through the two standard methods: show up, or buy something from the bookstore.

All performing musicians will have CDs for sale, because we're predictable like that. There may also be T-shirts. There will be cupcakes provided in the bookstore as part of the party, and a whole cafe full of delicious things to purchase and enjoy.

It's gonna be a good night. Hope to see you there.

It's almost time for LoneStarCon 3, the 2013 World Science Fiction Convention in San Antonio, Texas! This will also be my fifth Worldcon in a row, which is a feat I haven't accomplished since I was a teenager, working the convention, and traveling largely on the kindness of the adults who mentored and took care of me. It's...it's a little weird, honestly. So much has changed, and so much has stayed the same. I'm still a fangirl in my heart, even if I'm not behind a reg desk or stationed in prog ops anymore. I just scurry around more these days.

But enough introspection! Where can I be found?

Thursday.

6:00pm: Seanan McGuire and Dead Sexy, Live in Concert! It's the latest iteration of my ever-shifting backup band. Except familiar songs, fun surprises, and some exciting musical times. Ballroom A.

Friday.

10:00am: Kaffeeklatsch: James Gunn, Seanan McGuire, Lezli Robyn. Come have coffee and chat about whatever. Space is limited, signups are required. Riverview (Riverwalk).

4:00pm: Autographing: Tanya Huff, Steve Jackson, Seanan McGuire, Kim Stanley Robinson. I get to sign with Tanya! I am happy. Autographing area (Convention Center).

6:00pm: SF Squeecast Live Recording. It's gonna be fun. It always is. 003B.

Saturday.

12:00pm: Writing about Music and Art. I'm on a panel! Conference 12.

4:00pm: Reading: Mira Grant/Seanan McGuire. Which of me will read? NO ONE KNOWS. Also I'm up against the Mark Does Stuff panel, so you should totally skip me and go see him be awesome. 007CD.

Sunday.

12:00pm: Mad Science. From my heart and from my hands, why does no one understand my intentions? 008B.

2:00pm: When will Zombies Die? Charlaine and I are on the same panel. Bets on how long before one of us starts telling knock-knock jokes? I'mma sit between her and Bear and be totally safe from the apocalypse. 007CD.

4:00pm: Urban Fantasy: Fairies around Every Corner. I am going to be running out of this panel like my ass is on fire the second it ends, because I need to get ready for the Hugo Awards, but oh won't we have fun until then? 006A.

Monday.

Flying back to California.

Hope to see you in Texas!

...I swear that is the last terrible Muse pun I will make today. Ahem. It's time for Musecon 3! Do you want to know where I'm going to be?

Friday.

Why Fanfic is Awesome and You Should Feel Good About Writing It. All modern literature is fanfic, from Shakespeare and Milton all the way to the fairy tale retellings and remixes of today. Let's talk about why fanfic is a glorious, time-honored tradition that can help you improve as a writer, enriches your life as a reader, and pushes the envelope of the narrative story. 4:30pm.

Opening Ceremonies and Ask Seanan Anything. Welcome to MuseCon! Come meet our Guests of Honor and find out what we've got in store for you over the weekend. And once the official festivities are kicked off we'll be hosting the lastest installment in Seanan Shows Why She Has a Hugo for Not Shutting Up (also known as "Ask Seanan Anything, although she may not answer, and would really prefer you not ask anything about potential future changes to living conditions/locations"). 7:30pm.

Saturday.

Street Pennies. There's too much negativity in the world, and sometimes it can be hard to remember why we keep trying. That's where street pennies come in. Let's talk about the little things that make you happy, and how to find more of them in the world. 10:30am.

Gender Balance, Inclusiveness, and Diversity. Humanity is not a one-gender, one-race, one-creed entity. We're all different, and we're all deserving of our turn on the stage. Come join our discussion on how to bring more balance, inclusiveness, and diversity to your work. 1:30pm.

Velveteen vs. the Multiverse Book Launch. We don't have books but we will have cake! And signed book plates, and order forms. 3:00pm.

Concert. Music. Bring your ears and listen to Guest of Honor Seanan McGuire and her Biohazard Backing Band light up our stage with her unique mix of fairy tale folk, humorous horror, mad science, and just plain fun. BONUS! The dancing hands of Elise Matthesen will be hard at work during Seanan's concert! Elise has created hundreds of unique, breath-taking pieces, some based on the works of Neil Gaimen and others, some inspiring works by Mr. Gaimen, Elizabeth Bear, and others. Now she’ll be putting that same unique style into each piece that she is inspired to bring to life during Seanan’s show. Immediately after the concert these just-created pieces will be auctioned off! So come enjoy the show, and then see what’s been inspirited along the way! You never know, one might just inspire you. 7:30pm.

Sunday.

Disney Didn't Start the Fire. Snow White ate an apple--or did she use a poisoned comb? The little mermaid lived--or did she? Let's talk about the folkloric and fairy tale roots of some of our favorite stories, and how they've changed right up to the modern day. 12:00pm.

Working Through the World. Constructing a world that works can be difficult, but it's one of the most rewarding things a creator can do. Join us for a discussion of worldbuilding, its logic, and its dangers. 1:30pm.

Closing Ceremonies. We're going home! WE'RE GOING HOME! 3:00pm.

I'm going to San Diego! I'm going to my favorite con! I'm going...to be in a wheelchair for most of the week, on account of my left foot stops being in any way useful after I walk about about an hour, and San Diego is all about the walking. So if you're trying to find me, look for the faintly disgruntled looking blonde girl being pushed by the equally disgruntled looking blue-haired girl. Or follow this handy guide.

Wednesday.
It's Preview Night. I'm going to be in lines. Lots of lines. Unpredictable, never-ending lines. Do not try to find me. Save yourself.

Thursday.
No scheduled events. Naturally, this is also the only day with no panels I give a damn about. What is my life.

Friday.
I will be signing as Mira Grant at the Orbit Booth from 4:30 to 5:30pm. There will be some limited free books and other fun surprises.

Saturday.
I will be signing books for the California Browncoats from 2:00 to 2:45pm. Show up, meet fun people, and support an awesome charity. Then, at 3:00pm, I will be signing for Carniepunk at the Simon and Schuster Booth. This will last until 4:00pm, or until the line dies down completely.

I have not given booth numbers because I don't know them off the top of my head, but your program guide will know them. Trust the program guide. It is your only hope. The program guide will never lie to you. The program guide will not tell you to set people on fire.

Sunday.
This is my busy day. At 12:00pm, I will be in room 24ABC for the panel Science Fiction and the Future with lots of other lovely people. As I am the only biofuturist on this panel (with the possible exception of David Wellington, whom I will be meeting for the first time), I fully expect to either be very quiet or make people turn very green. Either way, what fun! Come for the science, stay for the creepy pie. Signing to follow immediately afterward, which I will be leaving early, because...

At 2:00pm, I will be in room 24ABC for the panel Witches and Fey, Monsters and Mortals. DO NOT READ THE PANEL DESCRIPTION. There is no possible way in which this panel description is not a sexist sack of eels. There are two urban fantasy panels at this con: one is serious and almost entirely male, and then there is this one. That being said, the panel lineup includes Rachel Caine and Amber Benson, who are two of my best ladies, and we are going to make this the panel to remember for this year's SDCC. Assuming anyone shows up, since we're up against the Doctor Who panel. Bleah. Again, signing to follow.

This year's schedule means I will be missing the X-Men panel, so anyone who does get to go, I'd like a full report.

And that's my San Diego. See you on the floor!

I am pleased to announce what some of you already know: that the 2015 Westercon will be held in scenic San Diego, California, and that I will be attending as their Fan Guest of Honor, thus checking off one of the only two slots remaining on my con guest bingo card! (The other, "Artist Guest," is unlikely to happen unless I start painting again, so I feel that I have now completed my duties.) The full lineup is:

Author Guest of Honor: Spider Robinson
Artist Guest of Honor: John Picacio
Special Guest: William F. Nolan

Westercon 68 will be held over the July 4th weekend in 2015 (July 2nd to 5th), and I very much hope to see you all there!

Westercon!

Every year around this time, someone says to me "Gosh, I've never been to the San Diego International Comic Convention before. I don't see what the big deal is. I really don't believe it's as big as everybody tries to make me think it is." And every year, I smack myself in the head and update this guide and pray for their survival.

Since I've been posting these obsessively-detailed Guides to Comicon on a yearly basis for some time now, I strongly suspect these people are being aimed at me. But since I love you all (those of you I know, anyway; I am well-inclined by amiably indifferent toward those of you who just came in out of the cold), and want you to have the best convention experience you possibly can, I have once again updated my Handy-Dandy Survival Guide to the San Diego International Comic Convention. See? It's handy and dandy, and that means it must be good! This guide includes tips on:

* Reaching the convention alive.
* Getting a hotel room.
* Enjoying/surviving the con.
* Things to do at the con.
* Eating food.
* Staying healthy and in a good mental place.
* Not getting killed by your friends.
* Budgeting.
* Bathing.

It is also heavily biased toward my own opinions on all these things, because hello, totally me. But I'm honest about my biases, and I'll be factual whenever it's fact, rather than opinion. (In short, don't expect me to falsify hotel room rates to suit my own ideas of "fair," but don't expect me to recommend a good Thai place, either.)

Ready? Okay!

( Click here for Seanan's handy-dandy Comicon survival guide! Read and be enlightened in all the ways that matter, which is to say, all the ways that Seanan actually thought of. Freshly updated for 2013.Collapse )

Hey, San Francisco peeps: tomorrow night is the first ever Shipwreck event at The Booksmith in San Francisco, and I'm one of the competing authors. What's a Shipwreck? Well, to quote the website:

"Good theatre for bad literature? Marital aid for book nerds? Competitive erotic fan-fiction at its finest? Shipwreck is all of these things.

Six great writers will destroy one great book, one great character at a time, in service of the transcendent and the profane (and also laughs). Marvel as beloved characters are plucked from their worlds and made to do stuff they were never meant to do in places they were never meant to see."

Our inaugural book is The Great Gatsby, and uh. We surely have fucked things up. It's competitive erotic fanfiction, which is 1000% as horrifying as you think it is, and you're going to need to be there to believe it. (For the six or so of you who have read my entry, the competition part of things is blind, for the sake of fairness, so please don't comment revealing which character I was assigned.)

If you're in the Bay Area, it's just $10 to suffer indignities that none has ever suffered before, and to hear some hysterically filthy stuff read by a Shakespearean actor. Come for the LOLs, stay...well, stay for the LOLs, and the booze.

Shipwreck!

Well, folks, my convention season has started in earnest, and this time tomorrow, I will be on a big metal sky-bird, wending my way to sunny Florida to rejoin my Disney Magic Bitches, along with the Chicago Crew and my Alabama family, at our second home: Disney World. Yes, Disney World, which in the summer plays host to a plethora of lizards, snakes, and local amphibians. It is going to be HOT AND COLD RUNNING FROGS all up in there, let me assure you.

After we get our Disney on, I'll be decamping to OASIS, the annual Orlando Area Science Fiction Society convention, where I am the guest of honor! Woo-hoo! We're still crunching out exactly what my schedule at the con is going to be, so I can't post it for you here, but I can assure you that if you're in the Orlando area, you should swing on by and enjoy the many rapturous delights offered by a con featuring me in my post-Disney high. Seriously, it's like chilling with Delirium as redesigned for Disney's Brief Lives, and you know you want to see that.

While I'm in transit, I will not be entirely offline, but I will be mostly offline, due to the part where I am not going to be checking my email from the Haunted Mansion and I don't know what the internet situation will be at the OASIS hotel. Please expect delays in responses until I get back, and for a week or so after, while we get back up to normal service levels.

ONE SLEEP TO DISNEY.

I cannot wait. I need this so bad, you have no idea.

DISNEY.

I just got back from Jordancon, aka, "an excuse to hang out in Roswell, Georgia with awesome people for four days." I've never been to Georgia in the late spring/early summer before. It was exciting and strange and new, and these are all things that I treasure, regardless of the circumstances surrounding them. Hooray!

Thanks to my uncanny ability to sleep on planes, I don't really remember the flight to Georgia; just getting up ridiculously early to travel to the airport, waking up once in midair to eat my lunch, and then touching down on the other side of the country. I was worried about finding the car that had come to collect me. The car solved this problem by containing Michael Whelan, who waved enthusiastically when he spotted me. Many hugs were had.

I ate dinner with the guests and staff, retreated to my room, watched Glee, wrote, and slept. Friday morning, a very sweet lady named Michelle drove me to breakfast (since my West Coast clock had kept me in bed until the end of East Coast breakfast hours). In the car, she said, "You smell nice. What's your perfume?"

"Old Roswell Cemetery," I said.

It's a funny world.

The con marched on from there. I met awesome people (John Hartness and Delilah Dawson and Alex Bledsoe, oh my). I spent time with people I already knew and adored (Patty and Deborah and Andy and Michael and Audrey and Indigo, hooray). I talked on panels, sang karaoke, critiqued new writers, and bought cupcakes for half the convention. And then I went back to the airport, and came home.

I love my life sometimes. Anything that lets me spend a beautiful weekend in the Georgia summer can't be entirely bad.

I will be appearing at Harvard University's very own Vericon this weekend, along with such luminaries as Tamora "I shaped your childhood and swear like a sailor" Pierce, and N.K. "We were on the Hugo ballot for the first time in the same year and are now bound in blood, ink, and tears" Jemisin. It's going to be awesome! Even if it does require me to fly to Boston first. In the middle of the winter. To where the snow lives.

If you're local to the Boston area, swing on by! Here's my schedule:

Saturday 12:30pm-1:30pm: A panel on constructing identity; how to flesh out different types of characters, as well as writing to an audience that identifies as fans of speculative fiction.
Saturday 2:00pm-3:00pm: A panel on supernatural/nonhuman creatures; how writers create concepts of supernatural creatures or interpret pre-existing myths; additionally, how to write sympathetic nonhuman characters.

I will also be signing on Saturday from 4:30-5:15pm at the Harvard Bookstore, along with some of the other authors. Whole lotta shin, little bit of dig.

I hope to see you there, and I hope you'll bring me Diet Dr Pepper, because the jet lag is going to be brutal on this one. Seriously. You may get to see me having a conversation with the space lobsters, and that's always fun.

Vericon!

Guys guys guys! The Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling* Show is tomorrow! For the eighth time, my band of merry wanderers will descend upon San Francisco, bringing music, chaos, and the excitement of a book release party with us! This time, we're actually not going to be at my beloved Borderlands Books, although they will be selling books at the event: thanks to an opening in the Variety Preview Room Theatre, we're going to be trashing someone else's house for a change! The party begins this coming Saturday at 6:00 PM, at...

The Variety Preview Room Theatre
Hobart Bldg., 1st Floor (use the entrance next to Citibank on Market St.)
582 Market Street @ 2nd and Montgomery
San Francisco, CA 94104

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

Delicious cupcakes! Free popcorn, for that circus feeling! A cash bar, including a signature cocktail designed just for us, The Snakehandler! Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff rocking the house, now with special bonus Paul Kwinn and imported bonus Vixy! And this time, I'm not the only author who's going to be taking her turn in the ring. That's right: I have AWESOME BONUS GUESTS. Sarah Kuhn, awesome author of the geek rom-com One Con Glory, will be joining the fray, as will Amber Benson, whose latest Calliope Reaper-Jones adventure, The Golden Age of Death, dropped just two weeks ago.

Three authors. A lot of music. Plenty of sugar. Accessible booze. NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

I thought so.

Seating at the Preview Room is limited, so please show up early. We are a kid-friendly circus, although there will probably be swearing (I'm planning to show up, I swear a lot). The doors will open at 6:00 PM to allow for getting drinks and books, meeting people, and generally relaxing into the night; the Circus takes the stage at 7:00 PM. Here is the full schedule for the evening (subject to change):

6:00 PM: Welcome to our party! The doors will open for milling, schmoozing, hitting the bar, and finding seats. AND CUPCAKES!
7:00 PM: Would you like some music?
7:30 PM: Perhaps you would like to win things.
7:40 PM: Now there will be a reading! WHO WILL IT BE? NO ONE KNOWS! (Amber, Sarah, or Seanan.)
8:00 PM: More music?
8:30 PM: More prizes?
8:40 PM: Another mystery reading!
9:00 PM: Last music of the night.
9:30 PM: Q&A and book discussion.
9:50 PM: Thanks and final raffle before we move to the lobby for signing.

One note from the management:

"Don’t Drive—Seriously. Parking sucks in this area. Take BART or MUNI downtown, as we are directly adjacent to the Montgomery Street BART/MUNI station! Street parking ($3.50 per hour/coins or meter card, no charge cards) is metered 7 days a week til 6PM. If you have to drive, we suggest parking at the Folsom St. Garage at 3rd & Folsom (cheapest), across from Moscone Center."

See you Saturday!

(*No snakes will be present at the event, which is a shame, because I like snakes. I will content myself with humans. FOR NOW.)

It's time once again to descend upon San Francisco once again, bringing music, chaos, and the excitement of a book release party with us! This time, we're actually not going to be at my beloved Borderlands Books, although they will be selling books at the event: thanks to an opening in the Variety Preview Room Theatre, we're going to be trashing someone else's house for a change! The party begins this coming Saturday at 6:00 PM, at...

The Variety Preview Room Theatre
Hobart Bldg., 1st Floor (use the entrance next to Citibank on Market St.)
582 Market Street @ 2nd and Montgomery
San Francisco, CA 94104

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

Delicious cupcakes! Free popcorn, for that circus feeling! A cash bar, including a signature cocktail designed just for us, The Snakehandler! Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff rocking the house! And this time, I'm not the only author who's going to be taking her turn in the ring. That's right: I have guests. Sarah Kuhn, awesome author of the geek rom-com One Con Glory, will be joining the fray, as will Amber Benson, whose latest Calliope Reaper-Jones adventure, The Golden Age of Death, dropped just two weeks ago.

Three authors. A lot of music. Plenty of sugar. Accessible booze. NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

I thought so.

Seating at the Preview Room is limited, so please show up early. We are a kid-friendly circus, although there will probably be swearing (I'm planning to show up, I swear a lot). The doors will open at 6:00 PM to allow for getting drinks and books, meeting people, and generally relaxing into the night; the Circus takes the stage at 7:00 PM. A full schedule for the evening will be posted Friday.

One note from the management:

"Don’t Drive—Seriously. Parking sucks in this area. Take BART or MUNI downtown, as we are directly adjacent to the Montgomery Street BART/MUNI station! Street parking ($3.50 per hour/coins or meter card, no charge cards) is metered 7 days a week til 6PM. If you have to drive, we suggest parking at the Folsom St. Garage at 3rd & Folsom (cheapest), across from Moscone Center."

See you Saturday!

(*No snakes will be present at the event, which is a shame, because I like snakes. They're our huggy friends.)

WEIRD SCIENCE!

(Duh dum bum bum da dum.)

Or, really, MAD SCIENCE, because that is where my heart of hearts makes its forever home. The new anthology, The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination, is hitting shelves now, and includes my short story, "Laughter at the Academy: A Study in the Development of Schizotypal Creative Genius Personality Disorder (SCGPD)." Fans of my music will recognize the basic plot of the story as matching that of my Pegasus Award-winning song, "What A Woman's For." Yes. It is a story based on a song about using womanly wiles to cause perfectly reasonable researchers to embrace grave-robbing and storm-chasing as a means of advancing their careers. My mother is so proud.

Anyway, it's a fantastic book that I'm going to talk about a bit more in a little while, and I'm happy as hell to be a part of it. And if you're in the Bay Area, this weekend will bring you the opportunity to see the editor, John Joseph Adams, appearing with yours truly at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books. The event begins at 3:00 pm, and will undoubtedly be a rocking good time. It's always a rocking good time when John and I get together.

The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination is available now at a bookstore or internet retailer near you. Published by Tor Books, you can get it in either hardcover ($25.99) or trade paperback ($14.99), and honestly, it's worth it at either price point.

Hope to see you Saturday!

Item: Tomorrow is my birthday!

Item #2: I am going to DISNEYLAND!

Item #3: So yeah, I am going to go offline for the next four days. I have no regrets. If you wonder why I have no regrets, see item #2.

Item #4: DISNEYLAND BIRTHDAY TIME!!!!!

...I am a happy girl.

...to the bottom of the river.

December! It is December! It is December 4th, which means we're exactly one month away from my birthday trip to Disneyland SHUT UP DISNEY MAKES EVERYTHING OKAY. And I've needed a lot of okay this winter.

This is the current shape of my 2012/2013, with travel dates and everything. Beautiful travel dates. Hope to see you sometime in the months to come.

Publications

2012:
"Rat-Catcher," December 2012.

2013:
"Laughter at the Academy: A Study in the Development of Schizotypal Creative Genius Personality Disorder (SCGPD)," February 2013.
"Emeralds to Emeralds, Dust to Dust," February 2013.
Midnight Blue-Light Special, March 2013.
"Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea," July 2013.
Velveteen vs. The Multi-verse, August 2013.
Chimes at Midnight, September 2013.
"Train Yard Blues," October 2013.

Parasite, unknown.
"A Dry Death," unknown.

Conventions/Appearances/Travel

2013:
Vericon, March 22-24, Boston MA.
JordanCon, April 19-21, Roswell GA.
Disney World, May 17-23, Orlando FL.
OASIS, May 24-26, Orlando FL.
Musecon, August 2-4, Itasca IL.
Lone Star Con (Worldcon 2013), August 28-September 2, San Antonio, TX.
SFContario, November 29-December 1, Toronto Canada.

No fixed deadline/being written/unsold:

"Bad Dream Girl"
"Fiber"
"Carry Me Home"
"These Antique Fables"
"Pixie Season"
"Velveteen vs. The Robot Armies of Dr. Walter Creelman, DDS"
"Velveteen vs. The Fright Night Sorority House Massacre Sleepover Camp"
"Velveteen vs. Vegas" (extended remix)
"Velveteen Presents Victory Anna vs. The Difficulty With Pan-Dimensional Courtships"
"Velveteen Presents Jackie Frost vs. Four Conversations and a Funeral"
"The Happiest Place..."
"Frontier ABCs: The Life and Times of Charity Smith, Schoolteacher"
"Loch and Key"
Half-Off Ragnarok
Echo
"How Green This Land, How Blue This Sea"

...just looking at that makes me tired.

I need a nap.

So Friday night, I will be appearing at The Booksmith in damp, drizzly San Francisco, California, as part of their Read Until the World Ends Halloween Bookswap. I've never done one of these before, so I turn to their website for details:

"$25 gets you dinner and an open bar, a bookstore all to yourself and forty of your new best friends, discounts and swag, a chance to rub elbows with amazing authors, and tons of surprises. Amy Stephenson hosts."

$25 to share a room with me and an open bar. Oh, the drinks that we'll drink! Oh, the thinks that we'll think! Oh, the giggling as I slowly list gently onto my side and go to sleep! I...okay, that last part wouldn't be very professional of me. So I won't do that. But if you're in the San Francisco Bay Area and looking for a fun way to spend a Friday night, come and spend it it with me in my guise as Mira Grant, and with all the boozimohol the bookstore can provide.

Whee!

Hey, happy people! Guess what?

I'm about to get on a plane bound for Portland, Oregon, that's what, where I will host the Portland installment of the SFWA Pacific Northwest Reading Series. Starting tonight at 7:00 PM, quote...

"The next Portland event will be held on Monday, October 15 and will be hosted by New York Times bestselling author Seanan McGuire, accompanied by Jay Lake and M.K. Hobson."

So come out and see three awesome authors, get books signed, and hang out in an awesome venue. Events are free, and we'd all love to see you there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a plane to catch.

Zoom!

T-shirt update.

Shirts are being mailed! But in the interests of not being stoned to death by the other people who use my small local post office, they're being mailed in batches of twenty to thirty at a time. What does this mean? It means that if you have not yet received your shirt, it probably hasn't been mailed, but is instead sitting in a large sack in my living room. If you ordered three or more shirts, there is a good chance that your order is coming in more than one envelope. Breathe deeply, and it will be with you soon.

CDs and stuff.

I have sent a restock of both Wicked Girls and Red Roses and Dead Things to CD Baby. I estimate that I have roughly a hundred copies of Red Roses left, after which the CD will be out of print. I'm not currently planning a reprint, so, y'know, get it while it's available.

My cats are weird.

This morning, Thomas decided that he was going to accompany me to work, and attempted to accomplish this by stuffing himself into my backpack. It astonishes and terrifies me that he can fit inside my backpack; he's a lot of cat, and there are other things inside that bag. But he did it! And if he'd remembered to pull his tail inside, he might have made my day a lot more exciting than I ever wanted it to be.

The Pirates of Emerson.

Just a reminder to my Bay Area friends: the Pirates of Emerson have opened their annual haunted theme park at the Alameda County Fairgrounds. Five awesome haunted houses, two mazes, the Bumpkin Patch, live entertainment, games, and more, all presented by spooky-ass pirates who leer and go "arrrrrrr" whenever provoked. It's a lot of fun, it's super reasonably priced for what you get, and I highly recommend it.

(I do not, however, recommend it for kids under twelve, or even for easily frightened kids under thirteen. You can still take them if you want, but you can't blame me for the night terrors and bedwetting that may follow.)

Best shirt ever.

My friend Craig sent me an official CDC Zombie Preparedness Task Force shirt, and it is the best shirt ever. I am the happiest disease/zombie fangirl in the whole wide world right now.

One con more...

I have only one convention left in 2012: WindyCon in Chicago, this coming November. After that, I am blissfully home free for the (admittedly short) remainder of the year. Which means a) if you wanted to catch me at a con, Windy is your last chance this year, and b) I might actually take a nap.

Although that's unlikely.

This coming Saturday is the LitQuake LitCrawl, part of an awesome eight-day event celebrating the wonderful world of books! And, if you're part of the LitCrawl, booze.

LitCrawl has been crawling across the country this month, and arrives in San Francisco to celebrate the end of the LitQuake, arriving in the Mission District and commencing the literary havoc. And now, it has crawled to San Francisco.

I will be reading at Borderlands Books, as part of the Pulp-y Fiction event. This is a component of LitCrawl Phase 2, and should be totally awesome. I'm reading with Cassie Alexander, S.G. Brown, and Seth Harwood. Join us for havoc.

Like, seriously, havoc. We may degenerate into name calling and biting. Lines will be drawn, things will be said, and soda will. Be. Spilled. The event starts at 7:15; I recommend being early if you want to sit down.

See you there!

My friend Michael is a roller derby referee. Women's flat track derby, to be specific (so if you're thinking Whip It right now, you have the wrong form of the right sport). This past weekend was the Bay of Reckoning West Region play-offs, right here in the Bay Area, and he was up from Southern California to cheer his girls (the Angel City Derby Girls) on. After a great deal of polite wheedling on his part, I agreed to come out for part of Saturday, if I could make word count.

I made word count.

The Bay of Reckoning was being held in Richmond, which is a reasonable drive from my house. I put on a green Wicked Girls shirt and a metric ass-ton of spray glitter (YAY SPRAY GLITTER), grabbed my cane, and hitched a ride over with Mom, who elected not to stay for the fun. Then I went hobbling over (ankle still) to the door, to see if they had the wristband that Michael had promised me.

They did not. But they did have a notation that I was supposed to receive one, and as Michael's team was on the track at the time, they got me all signed in, wristbanded, and ready to go. One of the girls at the door actually recognized my name, and got very excited, because she loved the Toby books (this will matter later). With distant cheers and the sound of skates rattling over tile to lure me on, I dove into the cavernous depths of the warehouse-like building.

Michael called as I was reaching the bleachers. The bout had reached halftime, and he was heading for the door to meet me. "I'm under the bleachers."

"Stay there."

He found me, after a bit of comedic misinterpretation, and we made our way to where Rachel from Australia was saving our seats. Yay, Rachel! Rachel had Tim-Tams, and wasn't too dismayed when I informed her that I was the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame. Rachel is awesome.

It's difficult to describe what makes roller derby so awesome, beyond the fact that it's not only a great community, but it's a real, vibrant, athletic, female-dominated sport. You can't watch derby girls slamming around the track and think that it's faked; they're too obviously working their asses off. Angel City lost their bout, but not until after they'd managed some amazing skating. They were followed by Rat City vs. Sacred City (Seattle vs. Sacramento), which might have been a friendly bout, had one of the Rat City jammers not been knocked down, hard, in the very first jam. She hit her head on the floor, and sat out most of the half. And Rat City was pissed. They handed Sacred City their asses on a plate. It was awesome.

(If you skate for Sacred City, please don't kill me. It was a great match. But bouncing Ohno's head off the floor sort of pissed Rat City off, and anger is fun to watch.)

The headline bout of the night was B.A.D. Girls vs. the Denver Mile-High Club. At the end of the first half, B.A.D. was leading, to the point that people were predicting a B.A.D. Girls/Oly Rollers final. By the end of the second half, a few power jams (mostly by Francie Pants, who used to be an Olympic-level ice hockey player) had put Denver in the winner's circle. There was screaming, there was flailing, there was some incredible skating, and I loved every minute.

Roller derby is a world unto itself. There was a merchandise hall set up, with strange, lovely stalls (I bought a T-shirt) and a few food vendors (I bought a dozen cupcakes for our section of the stands. Favorite moment:

"Do you want a cupcake?"
"I'm gluten-free."
"So are the chocolate ones."

Bliss.)

People in giant felt vagina costumes danced up and down the aisles, as did someone in a giant felt shocker costume (if you don't know what the shocker is, don't Google it at work). There was a pseudo-flash mob of referee dance moves. Skaters were everywhere, and the rules said that if you got a derby girl in your lap, you had to throw her back.

It was awesome.

As Michael and I were heading out, I spotted the girl from the front desk who'd recognized my name, and managed to catch up to her to ask which books she liked best. She confirmed Toby. When Michael took me home, I grabbed and signed a couple of Toby books for her, since he was going back Sunday and I wasn't.* And then I fell into bed, and dreamed of derby.

Women's flat track roller derby is fabulous. If there's a league near you, you should try to catch a match or two. There are definitely worse ways to spend a Saturday night than watching an athlete in her prime make an apex jump during a power jam, after running on roller skates.

Life is good.

(*Yes, she got her books, because Michael is awesome.)

It is with great pleasure that I remind you all that the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be assembling this Saturday at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books. We'll be getting underway at 6pm, and rocking the roof until closing time comes and they kick us all out! Why are we partying?

To celebrate the release of Ashes of Honor, naturally.

There will be cupcakes! There will be music and a raffle and reading and some Q&A, and it will be a hootenanny of a good time, with a whole lotta hoot AND a whole lotta nanny! Bring your kids! Bring your siblings! Bring your slime monsters! We totally hope to see you there.

Oh, and: Richard Kadrey, who is so awesome that they had to invent new swear words to describe him, will be at the bookstore before the Circus comes to town! His event starts at three. Come early, and make a day of it!

Remember that Borderlands does take telephone and email orders, and would be happy to send you books signed by any of the lovely authors who will be haunting the store that day. Get a book already touched by pure awesome. Or, you know. Ink. The party starts Saturday at 6pm!

Cheese! And! Cake!

It's time for everybody's favorite scavenger hunt, Trying To Find Seanan In A Convention Of Several Thousand People! It helps that I'm usually wearing electric orange. But Brooke, who is also usually wearing electric orange, is attending. And I'm injured, so I'm less fast-moving and noticeable than usual. Better provide a schedule!

Friday, August 31st.

Reading, 11AM, Grand Suite 3.
Ah, the Worldcon reading. Will it be any better planned and executed than my usual readings? Nope. But I'll have fun anyway, because I always do.

Signing, 3PM, Autograph Tables.
Seanan Signs Shit: Chicago Edition. Always fun for the whole family.

It may look like my Friday is lightly scheduled. This is an illusion. I have three rehearsals over the course of the day, and the DAW dinner to attend, so really, these are the best times/places to find me.

Saturday, September 1st.

SFWA meeting, 9AM.
Expect grumbling.

Operetta, 12PM, Plaza Ballroom.
I'm in an operetta! It's going to be awesome! You should come and see it! And right after it ends...

Seanan McGuire in Concert, 1:30PM, Plaza Ballroom.
See me in concert with Vixy, Tony, Amy, Mary, Brenda, and potentially more, depending on the size and load-bearing nature of the stage! Merchandise will also be available from the filk sales table, including CDs, posters, and more.

Warehouse 13 vs. Eureka, 4:30PM, Grand Suite AB.
Oh it. Is. On.

The Next H1N1, 6PM, Field.
Expect giggling from me, and looks of profound discomfort from everyone else.

BARFLEET WOO WOO BARFLEET 9PM, Barfleet Party.
I am tending bar for Barfleet! Because Barfleet is awesome.

Sunday, September 2nd.

SF Squeecast recording live at 12PM.
It'll be squee-ful. You know, except for that whole "we'll all be neurotic messes over the impending doom that is the Hugos" thing. But hey, we can still be enthusiastic. About stuff. Between panic attacks.

The Hugo Awards, 8PM.
Meep.

And that's where to find me! Hope to see you there.

Well, it's official: as of this past Sunday (when I was a bad monkey, and had abandoned my beloved cats for the dubious comforts of Comic-Con), Thomas Price Lynn Rhymer Taylor McGuire, my blue classic tabby and white male Maine Coon, is two years old. This means he has ceased to be a kitten, and has become an official cat. Not that he seems to have noticed. Most of his time is still spent racing around the house like a loon, collapsing in my arms and purring loudly, and demanding to be fed. With any luck, this is his adult personality, and I have finally fulfilled my childhood dream of having a twenty-pound kitten.

The cats, all three, are still very clingy and unsettled about my recent trip to San Diego, which went on rather longer than any of them wanted it to, and has resulted in my spending my nights beneath roughly eighty pounds of fluff. This is why I am going to be slaughtered in my sleep Sunday night, since I'm leaving work early today and flying straight to Portland. Alas. On the plus side, I intend to have a good time while I'm there, and I'm only gone for three nights this time. Maybe they won't notice.

...no, that's silly. They're going to eat me.

(Portland is not a public event, by the way, which is why it's not listed on my Appearances page. Always check there if you want to know if I'm going somewhere for social and sharable reasons.)

Naturally, I am totally exhausted, which has led to things like poor Vixy getting told all about the Tyrannosaurus leech. (She took it better than Shawn did when I told him about the axolotl.) I've managed to shower, do laundry, and pack a suitcase that's actually cleared for flight, containing no weapons of any kind. This is an accomplishment in my current condition, and I want you all to be very, very proud of me.

San Diego was lovely, and I'm going to keep promising to write a con report right up until too much time has passed and I forget about it. (This fate has claimed so very many trips in recent years. Disney World anyone?) Right now, I'm going to take a few deep breaths and prepare to plunge back into the fray. Because it never, never ends.

See you when I get home!

Oh, the places you'll go, oh, the places I'll be! Here's where to start if you're looking for me...

Thursday, July 12th.

1:15 PM, Room 6A: Not with a Bang, with a Bite.

It's the obligate zombie panel! Because really, that's what I do. Join me-as-Mira, along with Jeyn Roberts (Dark Inside), Michael Spradlin (Blood Riders), Diana Rowland (Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues), Stephen Blackmoore (City of the Lost), Dana Fredsti (Plague Town), Susan Dennard (Something Strange and Deadly), and Max Brooks (World War Z). Let's see if Max and I can get into another argument about his virology, shall we? Also, you will love Stephen. He's the bomb. The panel will be immediately followed by an autographing session, wherein I will sign whatever you bring me.

Friday, July 13th.

5:00 PM, Booth 1116: Mira Grant signing.

Nothing says "Friday the 13th in San Diego" like Mira Grant signing at the Orbit booth! Come for signatures, cool swag, and the chance to have me beam at you like a lunatic while I try to drink enough Diet Dr Pepper to put me in an early grave. It'll be fun!

Saturday, July 14th.

10:30 AM, Room 5AB: Hot Town: Faeries in the City.

Mmmm, 10:30 AM panel on Saturday. On the plus side, you know you'll be able to get a seat. On the double-plus side, you know none of us will be awake enough to be filtering a damn thing that comes out of our mouths. Come for the urban fantasy, stay for the raw humor value of me and Jeff Lewis calling each other cockwaffles. Join me-as-Seanan, along with Benjamin Tate (Leaves of Flame), Kevin Hearne (The Iron Druid Chronicles), Kat Richardson (Seawitch), Jennifer Bosworth (Struck), Anton Strout (Simon Canderous series), Jeanne Stein (Anna Strong Vampire Novels), J.F. Lewis (Void City books), and S. G. Browne (Lucky Bastard). The panel will be immediately followed by an autographing session, wherein Jeff and I will begin chewing on Kat.

Sunday, July 15th.

12:00 PM, Room 32AB: Browncoat reading.

Mira Grant joins the San Diego Browncoats for a reading from "San Diego 2014," and to answer any questions you might have. And yes, we know this is up against Buffy. Stupid late schedule changes.

1:00 PM, Booth A-07: Mira Grant signing.

And then it's off to the Browncoats booth for a signing! Hooray for signings!

...and that is all my official business for the weekend. Unofficial business will include shopping, panels, ice cream, Amy-hugs, Amber-hugs, Sunil-hugs, Kaja-hugs...hugging is going to be a key part of this convention.

Onward, to San Diego!

1. So I have been forced, by the technical limitations inherent to LJ, to change my Friending policy. Specifically, I am now at MAXIMUM FRIENDOCITY, and adding any more Friends will cause me to be instantly sucked into a horrifying shadow dimension where demons will feast on my delicious bones. Read also, "LJ won't let me Friend any more people." So while I am still a Friend/Unfriend amnesty zone, I will no longer be automatically Friending back. Also, I have now typed the word "Friend" so many times that it has lost all meeting. I shall have to Foe some people.

2. You know it's summer when the Maine Coons felt their bellies by sleeping in their water dish, and you have to take them back to the groomer to be shaved. Again. In other news, guess who gets to take forty pounds of cranky kitty to the groomer? Good guess.

3. I've been scarce recently because a) I've been trying to catch up on some things, and b) I have 600+ comments to answer and it scares me. I will endeavor to post more, if y'all will be understanding about it taking me a while to answer you. S'good? S'good.

4. Disneyland was awesome, except for the part where I twisted my ankle and spent Sunday in a wheelchair. It turns out that I'm still surprisingly good at navigating myself when I need to, and Vixy pushed me when we weren't in spaces that required fine cornering and control. Neither of us died, but wow, was that not an experience that I am in a hurry to repeat.

5. I will, however, say this: if you see a girl pushing a manual wheelchair down a hill, maybe stepping right in front of that wheelchair is not the world's best plan. Especially if that wheelchair contains a person larger than the girl doing the pushing. Because you know what neither of us was able to do in that situation? Stop. In other news, I ran over some idiot-ankles, and I am not sorry.

6. The Hugo Voter Packet has been updated, and now contains the files for Best Related Work. That means that, for the first time ever, a full length filk CD is included in the Hugo packet. So. Cool. It's not too late to register and get your voting rights into the bag! Check out https://chicon.org/membership.php for details.

7. The new season of So You Think You Can Dance has started, and that means that my urge to write InCryptid is returning to normal. This show is totally restorative, in the best, weirdest way possible. I am a happy bunny.

8. Other things that make me happy: the San Diego Comic-Con exclusives have been announced for this year, and they include a new Monster High doll (Scarah Screams) and a new My Little Pony (Derpy Hooves/Bubblecup). I am a sucker for toys.

9. Other things I am a sucker for: Australia. My Mira Grant Q&A on Saturday was the most marsupial-centric Q&A I've ever been a part of. It was sort of impressive, in a "why are we talking about this again?" sort of a way. It may have had something to do with the fact that I had a plush Perry the Platypus on the podium...

10. Jean Gray is still dead.

Here's a reminder for all you Mira Grant fans out there:

I, and by extension, she, will be appearing at Borderlands Books this coming Saturday, June 2nd, at 6:00 PM. Why? To celebrate the release of Blackout, naturally! There will be Q&A, cupcakes, and a reading from "San Diego 2014: The Last Stand of the California Browncoats."

As an extra added bonus, if you come early, Mary Robinette Kowal, also known as "the voice of October Daye," will be at the story at 3:00 PM, reading from and promoting her awesome new book, Glamour in Glass.

Borderlands events are free of charge, and the store is more than happy to take orders for signed and inscribed copies, if you can't attend.

I hope to see you there!

10. If you read yesterday's post about ebook distribution around the world, you may want to go back and read it again; I made some pretty hefty edits after having a contract discussion with The Agent, and I think it's more accurate now.

9. While I will not say that Joss Whedon is my master now—I remain too critical for that, and still haven't forgiven him for several things—he has made my two favorite theatrical releases of this year, Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers.

8. Although if we don't get another female hero in the sequel, I am going to be one cranky kitty. I knew that would be an issue for me going in; I was not wrong.

7. We're down to three girls on this season of America's Next Top Model, and I don't hate any of them. What? How can this be? I think the world has been intrinsically damaged by the inanity of this season's "US v. UK" concept.

6. You know what's awesome? Disneyland, that's what's awesome. You know what's better? I'm going there in two weeks, with Vixy. Are we now planning to hit every Disney park in the world? Yes. Yes, we are. Next up, Disneyland Paris.

5. Eleven days to Blackout! Who's excited? I'm excited!

4. If you somehow get an early copy, please don't tell me. There's nothing I can do about it, and it'll just raise my blood pressure. But feel free to post a review. Reviews are awesome.

3. You know what makes everything better? Poison dart frickens make everything better. Look at their tiny technicolor deadliness!

2. Jean Grey is still dead.

1. I'm seeing The Devil's Carnival tonight! Yay!

Hope you're all having a great Friday, and are looking forward to an even greater weekend.

10. Orders for the second run of Wicked Girls shirts are now open, and will remain open until May 18th. Please read the post carefully, as it includes important ordering information. We're planning a more gender-neutral shirt next, probably saying "My story is not done," but we need to get through this batch, first. In other news, I am a glutton for punishment.

9. A bit of confusion has arisen relating to my East Coast trip. So here's the skinny: I am going to the East Coast, I am not attending any conventions while I'm there, I may or may not be doing any appearances. It's all still up in the air. I'll sign books at any bookstores I stumble over, but that's about all I can guarantee right now.

8. If you're in New York, however, and enjoyed Repo: The Genetic Opera, might I recommend looking at the tour dates for The Devil's Carnival? It's the new project by the same people, and it looks awesome. I'll be attending the 7pm showing in Manhattan on April 26th, and more people always make for a better party. Unless there's a limited amount of cake.

7. One of my favorite comic books, The Boys, is going into its final story arc. I am going to miss it so much when it's gone. On the other hand, I said the same thing about Preacher, which was this creative team's former collaboration, and look what it got me. I'm excited to see what comes next.

6. I am trying not to be nervous about the Philip K. Dick Awards, which happen Friday evening, while I'm, you know, a state away. I have managed not to get my hopes up too high, although I have to admit, it would be awesome to win. It really is just an honor to be nominated.

5. To the two girls dressed as Jean Gray who called the girl dressed as Emma Frost a skank this past weekend at Emerald City: Not cool. We're all geeks here together, and while you may have been giggling in character, she wasn't with you.

4. To the extremely pretty girl dressed as Emma Frost who got called a skank this past weekend at Emerald City: You looked absolutely stunning, and your confidence and poise as you walked made it even better. Don't let people bring you down. You are amazing.

3. And yes, that message would have been the same if it had been two Emmas and a Jean. I only noticed because the costumes caught my eye.

2. In further comic book news, my comic book store tried to incite a Sharks vs. Jets throw-down between Avengers fans and X-Men fans last night. Apparently the Avengers were winning...until I walked in the door. Turns out, I'm a destructive force of nature where my comics are concerned. Who knew, right?

1. Zombies are love.

It is with great pleasure that I remind you all that the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show will be assembling this Saturday at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books. We'll be getting underway at 6pm, and rocking the roof until closing time comes and they kick us all out! Why are we partying?

To celebrate the release of Discount Armageddon, naturally.

There will be cake! There will be cheese! There will be music and a raffle and reading and some Q&A, and it will be a hootenanny of a good time, with a whole lotta hoot AND a whole lotta nanny! Bring your kids! Bring your siblings! Bring your slime monsters! We totally hope to see you there.

Oh, and: Caitlin Kittredge and Ben Macallan, both of whom are made of hammered awesome, will be at the bookstore before the Circus comes to town! Their event starts at three. Come early, and make a day of it!

Remember that Borderlands does take telephone and email orders, and would be happy to send you books signed by any of the lovely authors who will be haunting the store that day. Get a book already touched by pure awesome. Or, you know. Ink. The party starts Saturday at 6pm!

Cheese! And! Cake!

First off, if you're interested, the spoiler-filled book discussion post is continuing to rage on over here, and you're welcome to join in. Read, and come to the party!

I've been blogging for Penguin* all this week, that being something they like to have authors do when they have new books out. So head over to hear my thoughts on cryptids as the fairy stories of the modern era, Toby vs. Verity, round one, fight, and the serious science of cryptozoology. It's fun!

catsittingstill wrote a song about the Aeslin mice. I can now die happy. I won't, because I have things to do, but I can.

I have a bunch of reviews to post, but those should probably go in their own roundup. So I will leave you with the reminder that my book release party, and the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show, will be on March 17th, at Borderlands Books. Hope to see you there!

(*DAW is my publisher, but DAW is distributed by Penguin, which makes it logical for me to blog at Penguin.)

I am fresh home from my appearance at Consonance, where I got to shake my money maker as their Ghostmistress, eat a lot of goat at the Indian buffet across the street—I mean a lot of goat—and generally have a wonderful time. I'll do a bit more of a proper con report later, although since I still haven't done my Disney World write-up, "later" may not be here for quite some time. Anyway, I thought I'd try posting the set list for my concert in a timely fashion for once, just to confuse people. My backing band was epic, and encompassed multitudes. I am so blessed.

I remain totally grateful to have been Consonance's Ghostmistress. It was an honor, and I had a fantastic time. The Consonance set list, with arrangement* notes, was as follows:

1. "The Sealskin and the Story and the Sky." (Seanan, vocals; Vixy Dockrey, Maya Bohnhoff, backing vocals; Tony Fabris, guitar; Brenda Sutton, bodhran; Teresa Powell, bass; Dr. Mary Crowell, piano; Amy McNally, fiddle.)
2. "The Ghost of Lilly Kane." (Seanan, vocals; Mary, piano; Amy, fiddle.)
3. "Mama Said." (Seanan, Vixy, vocals; Tony, guitar; Brenda, coconuts; Amy, fiddle; Mary, piano; Teresa, bass.)
4. "Dare to Dream." (Seanan, Vixy, vocals; Tony, guitar; Mary, piano; Amy, fiddle.)
5. "Small Mended Corners" (Talis Kimberley cover). (Seanan, Mary, Vixy, vocals; Maya, backing vocals; Tony, guitar; Amy, fiddle.)
6. "Rain King/Still Catch the Tide" (Counting Crows/Talis Kimberley cover). (Seanan, vocals; Vixy, Mary, Maya, backing vocals; Jeff Bohnhoff, guitar; Brenda, bodhran; Teresa, bass; Mary, piano; Amy, fiddle; Gwen Knighton, harp.)
7. "Landslide" (Fleetwood Mac cover). (Seanan, vocals; Mary, Vixy, Teresa, Maya, backing vocals; Teresa, bass; Jeff, guitar; Amy, fiddle.)
8. "Wicked Girls Saving Ourselves." (Seanan, Vixy, vocals; Tony, guitar; Brenda, bodhran; Teresa, bass; Mary, piano; Amy, fiddle.)
9. "My Story Is Not Done." (Seanan, Vixy, vocals; Tony, guitar; Brenda, bodhran; Teresa, bass; Mary, piano; Amy, fiddle.)

ENCORE: "Evil Laugh." (Seanan, Vixy, Amy, vocals; Tony, guitar; Teresa, bass; Mary, piano.)

The bridge for "Wicked Girls" was standard for a change, because we are unpredictable like that.

As always: "The Ghost of Lilly Kane," "Mama Said," "My Story Is Not Done," and "Wicked Girls Saving Ourselves" are on Wicked Girls. "Evil Laugh" and "Still Catch the Tide" are on Stars Fall Home (out of print). "Small Mended Corners" is on Talis Kimberley's amazing Archetype Cafe. "Rain King" is on August and Everything After by the Counting Crows.

"The Seal Skin and the Story and the Sky" and "Dare to Dream" have not yet been recorded.

Again, I am so very grateful to the Consonance concom for having me. I had a wonderful time, and I can't wait to go back.

(*It was a big band and a lot of skin-of-our-teeth arrangement, so I may get some of my instrumentation notes wrong. I will fix if this is pointed out to me, and mean absolutely no offense of any kind. I am simply a frazzled blonde.)

People of Earth!

Mira Grant* will be appearing at San Francisco's own Borderlands Books this coming Saturday at 3:00 PM, to celebrate the release of Stephen Blackmoore's awesome new book, City of the Lost. I blurbed it, even! Here's what I said:

"The gritty streets of City of the Lost are filled with snappy dialog, and fascinating characters, as well as a rollercoaster of a plot that doesn't slow down from beginning to end. This is the zombie crime novel we didn't know we were all waiting for."

Stephen will be making his Borderlands debut, and you know you want to come out and make him feel at home. Besides which, this is your opportunity to hear about an awesome new book, hear readings, ask questions, and generally shine a little light of spectacular on the landscape. Borderlands does take requests for signed and personalized copies; both Stephen and I will be happy to sign anything that's put in front of us. Oh, and so will Mira.

Hope to see you there!

(*You know, my somewhat evil—or, I guess, eviler—alter-ego.)

How I want to be right now:

"OH YEAH I AM GOING TO SEATTLE I AM GOING TO ROCK SOME HOUSES AND MELT SOME FACES AND MAYBE IGNITE THE BIOSPHERE WOO!"

How I am right now:

"I need a nap. Or maybe some more caffeine...yeah. Caffeine would probably help. You know. If there are no naps to be had. Can I have that nap instead? Wait, I have to get on a plane? What? Is this optional? Can't I teleport? How about the Jaunt? Is that up and running yet? I promise to let you sedate me..."

So yeah. I am bound for Conflikt, where a) I will have a wonderful time, even as b) I will work my little blonde butt off, toting my laptop from room to room like the Ghost of Deadlines Past. There may be a certain amount of grumbling darkly and threatening to ignite the biosphere. Good times.

The cats did not approve of the reappearance of The Dread Suitcase; Thomas even tried to barricade me in my room this morning. He failed, on account of he may be a bonsai yeti, but I am a human, and hence much larger than he is. But hey, good show him for trying. Lilly just looked despondent, like she had been waiting for this day ever since I returned from Disney World. Sometimes I think Lilly is the smartest of the cats.

I don't know how much internet, if any, I'll have over the weekend; please don't burn down the internet while I'm gone, I'm still using it.

See you in Seattle!

Saturday night was my belated natal day celebration, wherein several* of us gathered at The Mint in San Francisco to get our karaoke on. Now, if you're going to get your karaoke on, The Mint is the place to do it. They have an incredibly large, diverse catalog of songs, and their resident KJ**, Frank, is a snarky miracle. Plus they have pear cider on tap. It's a perfect storm of karaoke awesome.

Because it was my birthday, Vixy actually flew out from Seattle on Friday night, and we were able to spend a good chunk of Saturday ambling around San Francisco. I showed her Toby's new neighborhood, and we ate lunch at the Phoenix. All was well. Our reservation was for six; we reached The Mint about ten minutes early, and secured our tables. Several people were already there, karaoke-ing away. Some of them were even sober.

The rest of our party trickled in by dibs and dabs; you never knew who was going to show up next. Naamen, for example, spent an hour at the wrong bar before he checked his email and realized he was in the wrong place. Oops.

Successful karaoke requires an odd mix of "taking it totally seriously" and "not taking it seriously at all." You either need to choose songs that sound good in your range, or songs that are utterly ridiculous, like our lengthy run of Disney standards (Kate's "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" was awesome). You need to have a sense of humor, but not clown it up so much that it hurts to watch you. Because we are a group of lunatics, we're very, very good at successful karaoke. Not all of us can sing, but we can all laugh at ourselves while still being PROFOUNDLY SERIOUS about the source of our laughter.

We sang rock. We sang country. We sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" en masse. Morgan claimed not to know Melissa Etheridge, so Kate did "Come to My Window"; Morgan allowed that she knew Melissa Etheridge after all. Morgan sang "The Final Countdown," and we were all kazoos. Vixy sang "Barracuda," and I watched all the drunk sorority girls hate her forever (it was adorable). Victor and Lara did "Istanbul," which was hysterical and amazing. Sunil sang "Dragula," JUST FOR ME. In short, we had a seven-hour karaoke party of karaoke party awesomeocity.

At one point, having already exhausted the songs that other people wanted me to sing ("When You're Good to Mama" for Kate, "Raise Your Glass" for Vixy), I decided to do "Independence Day," by Martina MacBride. Only I don't really know her version. I know Talis's version, which has less spousal abuse, and a lot more alien invasions. So I figured what the heck, if the scansion worked, I'd run with it.

The scansion worked. I ran with it. Turns out I know the whole thing! The drunk people looked confused, since they could tell I wasn't singing what was on the screen. The sober people cracked up. One nice man even came up to me after to tell me that I was his favorite performance of the night.

Kate and Morgan saw us out with a duet of "Don't Stop Believing" that got literally the entire bar singing, and then we all limped, exhausted, home.

And that was my karaoke party. We're going to do it again soon. Frank promised me he'd get the new Taylor Swift***, and I need to get my karaoke on.

(*The Mint is not a massive establishment, so "several" was defined by how much space we could successfully reserve. Another party had already reserved most of the seating area for their loud drunk bridal shower. In the balance of things, I wish we'd reserved first, but we live with what we get.)

(**Karaoke DJ. Basically, he's the guy who decides whether you get the song you asked for, or the obscure Swedish cover that's been pitch-shifted up an octave and shifted to a faster tempo. Be nice to your KJ. Tip your KJ.)

(***"I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling. She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things.")

1. I'm currently running an ARC giveaway for Discount Armageddon, and will be choosing a winner via random number generator tomorrow morning. US addresses only for this particular giveaway. I'm leaving the state very shortly, and I don't have any customs forms, so I have to limit the entries if I want to be sure of mailing out the book.

2. Speaking of mailing things...I sent a massive batch of shirts this weekend, and will be preparing another batch to go out at the end of this week. The "I do not have any customs forms, and neither does my local post office" issue means I'm only sending US orders right now, but hopefully they'll have more customs forms soon. The shirt shop finally sent me the last of the shirts, so if your order was skipped before due to me not having your actual shirt, I should now be able to package it. (Yes, this is taking a long time. I can only send what I can hand-deliver, and that sort of complicates things.)

3. Why am I leaving the state? Because I am going to DISNEY WORLD!!!! More specifically, I'm going with my mother, my youngest sister, and vixyish, who has been drafted into the role of "person who keeps Seanan from killing her family." We're meeting up with hsifyppah and sweetmusic_27 in Florida, along with Amy's friend Patty, and then we're going to spend NINE DAYS enjoying the glories of Orlando. I'm the only person in my group of four that's ever been before, and I can't wait.

4. This does mean, however, that I won't be online for over a week. No email, no LJ, nothing but Twitter from my phone. So please don't email me and then get upset if I don't answer. (I mean really, don't do that anyway, I beg of you. I am unable to promise a swift reply for anything sent in my email. I'm even retooling my website in a vain attempt to reduce the amount of email coming my way. Have mercy.)

5. Which brings us to release dates. All books and stories with confirmed release dates that I can say "yes, it comes out on that day" about are listed on my bibliography page. Please check there before you ask me when something is coming out. It's unfair, I know, but I get asked that question so often that it makes me cranky, and I hate being cranky at people who don't deserve it.

6. I am currently trying to either write or revise ALL THE THINGS, and will be doing another inchworm post shortly, because that has turned out to be a distressingly good way of staying on top of things. Thanks, Bear.

7. So The Agent returned her editorial notes on Ashes of Honor, and as always, has proven to be incredibly good at identifying the major structural flaws that all the rest of us mysteriously missed. I'm currently fourteen chapters in on the editorial rewrite, after which the book can go off to The Editor, and I can forget about it for a little while. And by "forget about it," I really mean "start The Chimes at Midnight." I think there's something wrong with the way my brain works.

8. I am now on season four of Criminal Minds. I'm sorry I started watching so late, because damn. I'm also glad I started watching so late, because it means I've had lots to enjoy. Also, Penelope Garcia for the win.

9. Jean Grey is still dead.

10. Happy holidays! Try not to freak out and bludgeon anyone to death with a fruitcake, okay? Because that would be a horrible way to go.

Hey, kids. Wanna see something awesome? Well, this coming Sunday, I will be performing as part of the Geek Fest Concert and Vendor Fair, hosted by the Seattle Browncoats.

Music! From such luminaries as Vixy and Tony, Betsy Tinney, Sunnie Larson, the Doubleclicks, and Eben Brooks (and more! MUCH MORE!). Oh, and me. I'll be performing with my usual Seattle backing band, and it's going to be AWESOME.

Vendors! Are you looking for that perfect gift for your geeky sweetie? Well, this is your chance to buy directly from the creator, cutting out silly little things like "shipping" and "waiting for the mail." Again, it's going to be AWESOME.

Admission is a mere $10 ticket, granting you full access to the concert and the vendors. Food and drinks will be available for sale. The whole shindig is going to be indoors, so we're not going to get rained on, and your admission will go to a great cause. Support geeky pursuits, the Seattle Browncoats, and the randomness of me flying to Seattle for a one-day event, and show up for the Geek Fest!

Hope to see you there!