Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.: seanan

Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.

Over the past week, my house has developed two new bathroom-based rules. First off, even if you just dropped a tissue into the water, you need to flush. I don't care if it wastes water. If you're that worried about wasting water, throw your tissues in the trash, not the toilet. Second off, close the lid. Not the seat; the lid. Why?

Because Alice, like so many Maine Coons, likes to play with water. And the toilet? Is full of water. Once your nasty tissue has been in my toilet, I don't particularly want the cat to fish it out and bring it to me, thanks.

Last night, when I got home from work, I performed the standard checks—are both cats present? Are both cats breathing? Have they managed to break anything large and/or visible? After confirming yes, yes, and no, I went about my business. At some point during the "business" part of the program, Alice wandered off to do kitten things. This didn't concern me much; kittens are mysterious creatures, and spend a lot of time off doing kitten things, which usually end with a loud crash and a startled-looking puffball racing back into the bedroom. No big deal.

After I'd finished unpacking my bags, scanning some art cards, and eating dinner, I proceeded to the bathroom. The toilet lid was down. Repeat: the toilet lid was down, indicating safety. I began to sit.

The toilet said, inquisitively, "Mrph?"

Having seen approximately eight hundred hours-worth of horror cinema in my lifetime, I was once more fully dressed in less than five seconds. Furthermore, I was standing in the bathtub, that being the furthest I could reasonably get from the toilet without having the presence of mind to flee the bathroom entirely. I looked into the toilet bowl. Alice, balled calmly in the bottom of it, looked back. Meet my kitten, the TOILET SHARK.

I got her to leave the toilet by putting a few inches of water in the tub and encouraging her to play with that instead. She happily submerged several of her feather toys and went off to coax Lilly into the bath. Lilly, being, I don't know, an actual cat, was having none of it. (Alice got her comeuppance later, when her aquatic adventures required her to have a good brushing. Somehow, I doubt this is going to make her learn.) At least I know why she's damp all the damn time...

You know, the horror movies of the 1980s taught me to check toilets before I sat down, because they might contain monsters. It took me years to break this habit, thinking it was a foolish fear. Shows what I know. In conclusion, when you come over to my place...

...look down before you pee. You might be sorry if you don't.

textileowl

April 14 2009, 16:21:23 UTC 8 years ago

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*laughs*

So much better than trying to fall asleep and hearing Allie "tinkling" with the water because she likes to dip her paw in to get a drink of water.

Toilet Shark!

seanan_mcguire

April 14 2009, 16:22:49 UTC 8 years ago

Alice's big brother, Alligator, does that. When she starts, I'm moving the water bowl out of my bedroom.

April 14 2009, 16:30:36 UTC 8 years ago

Heh, Evander drags the water bowls across the kitchen trying to tip them over. We've managed to make them heavy enough that that is all he can do, but before that he'd make such a mess.

April 14 2009, 16:39:06 UTC 8 years ago

CONCRETE WATER BOWLS.

April 14 2009, 16:46:07 UTC 8 years ago

Oh yes, well low sitting porcelain bowls, like what you cook custard in. The one tall one we have is a metal bowl that Jeff insists on using as Evander likes his water being higher, until he knocks it over deliberately. We then solved that by putting a large smooth-surfaced rock at the bottom.

You can't even put them on a non-skid mat because he hooks his claws into them and drags them across the floor.

ceosanna

April 14 2009, 18:29:30 UTC 8 years ago

That still doesn't work for one of mine. At this point, I think she just enjoys being able to thwart me.

I'm glad you discovered Alice before you fully sat down!

vixyish

April 14 2009, 16:43:54 UTC 8 years ago

Alligator used to sit in his water dish.

April 14 2009, 16:55:11 UTC 8 years ago

Wading pool.

wyld_dandelyon

April 14 2009, 19:40:40 UTC 8 years ago

Our cat who sits in the water dish does so to point out, very pointedly, that it is empty. Well, lacking in water, since it's not exactly empty while the cat is in it.

jenk

April 14 2009, 20:11:17 UTC 8 years ago

Maine Coons are also known for washing their food in the dish.

Mine would wash it, then carry it out to the carpeted hallway, drop it on the carpet, and then eat it. I don't know why the wet kibble couldn't go on the vinyl floor - maybe carpet fluff is seasoning?

kyra_neko_rei

April 14 2009, 22:17:13 UTC 8 years ago

Oh, they do that on purpose so it's harder to clean. As anyone knows who's ever heard the cat start making those about-to-puke noises and picked him up and moved him to the vinyl, only to have him stop puking, walk back over to the carpet, and continue.

It's a conspiracy, passed down from mother to kitten in purr code.

mathochist

April 24 2009, 05:50:58 UTC 8 years ago

Maybe they actually think they're doing you a favor by puking where the carpet will absorb some of it, rather than where the whole mess will stay on the surface?

April 24 2009, 05:50:00 UTC 8 years ago

Maybe he was using the carpet to remove some of the moisture. Vinyl wouldn't do that.

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Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.

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