Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.: seanan

Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.

Over the past week, my house has developed two new bathroom-based rules. First off, even if you just dropped a tissue into the water, you need to flush. I don't care if it wastes water. If you're that worried about wasting water, throw your tissues in the trash, not the toilet. Second off, close the lid. Not the seat; the lid. Why?

Because Alice, like so many Maine Coons, likes to play with water. And the toilet? Is full of water. Once your nasty tissue has been in my toilet, I don't particularly want the cat to fish it out and bring it to me, thanks.

Last night, when I got home from work, I performed the standard checks—are both cats present? Are both cats breathing? Have they managed to break anything large and/or visible? After confirming yes, yes, and no, I went about my business. At some point during the "business" part of the program, Alice wandered off to do kitten things. This didn't concern me much; kittens are mysterious creatures, and spend a lot of time off doing kitten things, which usually end with a loud crash and a startled-looking puffball racing back into the bedroom. No big deal.

After I'd finished unpacking my bags, scanning some art cards, and eating dinner, I proceeded to the bathroom. The toilet lid was down. Repeat: the toilet lid was down, indicating safety. I began to sit.

The toilet said, inquisitively, "Mrph?"

Having seen approximately eight hundred hours-worth of horror cinema in my lifetime, I was once more fully dressed in less than five seconds. Furthermore, I was standing in the bathtub, that being the furthest I could reasonably get from the toilet without having the presence of mind to flee the bathroom entirely. I looked into the toilet bowl. Alice, balled calmly in the bottom of it, looked back. Meet my kitten, the TOILET SHARK.

I got her to leave the toilet by putting a few inches of water in the tub and encouraging her to play with that instead. She happily submerged several of her feather toys and went off to coax Lilly into the bath. Lilly, being, I don't know, an actual cat, was having none of it. (Alice got her comeuppance later, when her aquatic adventures required her to have a good brushing. Somehow, I doubt this is going to make her learn.) At least I know why she's damp all the damn time...

You know, the horror movies of the 1980s taught me to check toilets before I sat down, because they might contain monsters. It took me years to break this habit, thinking it was a foolish fear. Shows what I know. In conclusion, when you come over to my place...

...look down before you pee. You might be sorry if you don't.

janeg

April 15 2009, 13:56:15 UTC 8 years ago

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We keep the lid down because Ashton pays little attention when he runs obstacle courses, and as a kitten fell in. the icon Phil uses is Ashton as a kitten. Ashton also frequently plays with his water dish, using a paw to scoop up water and spray it about.

Ashton also falls off window ledges and chairs because he scorns the laws of gravity. Ashton is four now so don't expect your cat to grow out of it. Of course, your kitten doesn't live with his mother.

seanan_mcguire

April 15 2009, 14:30:46 UTC 8 years ago

No, she lives with Lilly. Lilly is teaching her Dignity, Poise, and Evil.

frost57565

April 15 2009, 18:02:54 UTC 8 years ago

I've had cats in the washer (empty, thankfully), the dryer, closets, cabinets, and even strangers' cars' backseats (hoping for a trip to McDonald's for Chicken McNuggets), but never toilets.

Though we did have a cat determined to scoop all of the water out of the toilet no matter how long it took.

April 16 2009, 01:19:02 UTC 8 years ago

Did the cat ever succeed? Inquiring minds want to know!

April 16 2009, 17:24:32 UTC 8 years ago

She kept scooping, but more water kept mysteriously coming in from somewhere!

Plus the humans kept pulling the lever that reset everything. Damned rude of them.

(We miss you, Missycat.)

jacylrin

April 15 2009, 19:46:36 UTC 8 years ago

ROFLMAO.

My coworkers were worried, and I had to explain.

I always turn on the light and check the toilet, even in the middle of the night. See, I found a snake in my toilet (see http://jacylrin.livejournal.com/55621.html )

So yeah. The light is my friend. As is looking before I sit.

April 16 2009, 01:19:17 UTC 8 years ago

...I want that snake. Pretty please?

April 16 2009, 13:11:06 UTC 8 years ago

I live on acreage in Virginia. We have black snakes all over the bloody place. Just not *usually* in my toilet. Of course it hid every time anybody other than my husband went to check, though must have been still in the bend since it wouldn't flush properly. Eventually (after abandoning that bathroom for 2 weeks) we checked and it flushed fine. We don't quite know where it went. We're not sure we care as long as it stays gone. Fortunately black snakes aren't poisonous. Just startling when you see one moving in your toilet...

April 19 2009, 03:43:23 UTC 8 years ago

Send me the next one you find in your toilet, por favor.

April 15 2009, 19:57:49 UTC 8 years ago

Oh, and I insist that the toilet lids stay closed simply because I'm a klutz. Keeping the lids closed reduces the likelihood I'll have to fish something out of the toilet :-P

April 16 2009, 01:19:27 UTC 8 years ago

I think that's probably for the best.

April 16 2009, 13:12:37 UTC 8 years ago

My husband dislikes it when women insist men put down the seat. He has decided my egalitarian EVERYONE has to put down the lid makes more sense. Not only because yeah, I have major butterfingers, but this way you have to fiddle with the toilet seat no matter what your personal plumbing.

April 19 2009, 03:43:36 UTC 8 years ago

I also think that makes perfect sense.

grey_lady

April 17 2009, 18:42:34 UTC 8 years ago

I never really did the horror movie thing, but I still got stuck into the habit of looking before sitting. I think it was the stories I heard growing up about rats climbing up through them, or something.

But honestly, I never found anything worse than an alligator in the bathroom.
(Yes, that is a true story.)

April 19 2009, 03:43:51 UTC 8 years ago

Alligator adventures are the BEST bathroom adventures.

ingriam

April 18 2009, 07:53:48 UTC 8 years ago

This makes me feel better about my own little kitties. One of them keeps attacking the vacuume cleaner, and the other goes around mewing her fuzzy little head off day and night. Whether we're paying attention to her or not. 9_9

Both of them hate water, though, so no toilet sharks. (here from metaquotes, BTW).

April 19 2009, 03:44:19 UTC 8 years ago

Some cats just really want to "talk" to you. Lilly is like that. She'll actually sing duets with you, if you can get it through her head that that's what they are.

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Attack of the unstoppable TOILET SHARK.

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