accomplishedLuckily for me -- and by extension, for everybody else, since my madness tends to be contagious -- I have a Kate. Kate is originally from the East Coast. Kate understands the laws of fashion. And Kate understands that I am, in fact, an anthropologist from some slightly skewed parallel dimension, here to research your strange Earth customs, and thus really don't comprehend at all why I can't wear an orange and green patchwork pinstriped jacket in a business setting. Or why it's bad to go to a business meeting looking like a Batman villain. After watching me stumble through two stores with the shell-shocked expression of a Disney Princess thrust into a real-girl world, she took mercy and agreed to take me to the mall.
Most horrifying thing I have ever heard Kate say, just before we made the approach to the Sun Valley Mall: "Oh, doing the mall properly takes about eight hours."
(I am not a shopper. I am, in fact, a seek-and-destroyer. I can browse in book stores and comic book shops and the like, but just about everything else, I want to go in, grab what's needed, and get the hell out of dodge. The idea of spending eight hours in a mall is incomprehensible to me.)
We started in Sears, largely because that was where the door was, and quickly determined that there was no point trying more things on until we'd bought me a new bra. Kate's mission in life is to get all women into bras that actually fit. She has a rant. It's a really good rant, but I'm not as good at giving it as she is, so I'll just say 'we left Sears and went to Victoria's Secret.' All hail the Vicky's semi-annual sale. Further, all hail the way the really nifty colored bras always seem to wind up in the discount bin. Who has a neon-pumpkin-orange bra? Well, now, that would be me. Who is absolutely overjoyed about this fact? Again, me. Sometimes it's really good to be the sort of person who takes pleasure in the little things. Like orange lingerie.
Kate required food, so we relocated to another level of the mall, which turned out to be awesome, because the very first store we went into after feeding her was also the last one we visited on an actual mission. YES. We found me THE PERFECT OUTFIT. To be specific, we found me...
* A black pinstripe short-sleeved fitted suit jacket.
* Matching knee-length formal shorts.
* Also, the matching knee-length pencil skirt.
* Two different variations on the lace-embellished orange tank top.
Yes. We found a suit that is so formal and so classic and so cute at the same time that I can actually get away with accessorizing in orange. Also, the whole thing is super-cute; I put it on and I've instantly lost thirty pounds. It's amazing. I now fully understand the value of the fitted suit. Having shorts and a skirt means that I can decide day-of what I want to deal with wearing, and having two tank tops gives a second range of options, since they're embellished differently.
I still need to find shoes and appropriate jewelry; this is why I am now searching for something in an orange patent kitten heel. Which is a sentence I never thought I'd write. For jewelry, I'm on the market for something enthrallingly green, and have a few places to go looking. (I'm hoping I can wear my 'witch of ripe apple' pendant, but it's going to need earrings to balance it, as it's large.) I was actually looking at shoes on eBay. At last, Kate has triumphed. At last, I embrace the native costume of my adopted world.
Also, I am mad hot in this suit. So there.
June 24 2008, 09:18:27 UTC 9 years ago