Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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Adventures in a brand-new cat tree.

I love my cats dearly, and spoil them whenever possible, largely because spoiled cats are much calmer about me deciding that they can't be in my lap while I'm trying to write. (Lilly has an excellent future as a face-hugger, should she ever decide to go that route. She's perfectly capable of starting on my knees, and then oozing slowly up the length of my body to wrap around my face like a fuzzy purring muff. This actually does nothing to reduce continuity errors in my novels, and may explain why so many of my characters seem to want to be claustrophobic.)

I tend to skim the various 'spoil your cats' sites in the week or so after Christmas, looking for deals and discounts. My cats really don't care if I'm paying full price for their crinkly mice, they just want the crinkly mice, dammit. Being sensible about my purchases allows me to buy them a lot more crinkly mice, and buy myself more uninterrupted writing at the same time. Everybody wins.

I wound up on the Armarkat website -- makers of excellent modular cat furniture, which I have purchased in the past, and which has met with enthusiastic feline approval -- and discovered that one of their smaller-base four-level trees was on deep, deep discount, due to people not really liking the color, which they described as 'red-orange.' I promptly had my housemate measure the available floor space in my room, declared it good, and ordered the cat tree. It arrived on Thursday; yesterday night, my mother came over to help me assemble it.

They lied about the color. It's not 'red-orange.' Certain citrus fruits are red-orange. Some birds are red-orange. This? This is not red-orange. This is a color never found in nature -- in fact, this is a color rarely found outside of Henson Studios, which makes sense, given that the surfaces not wrapped in scratching-post cord are upholstered in what feels for all the world like dead Muppet.

This thing is pumpkin-fucker orange. It's virulent. And impressive.

The cats are ecstatic. Nyssa has been in and out of the house on the second level all morning, while Lilly sits serenely on the post at level three -- low enough to box Nyssa's ears, high enough to be the highest cat -- and radiates Siamese, if you please. Best of all, they've been leaving me almost entirely alone.

Pumpkin-fucker orange: when you absolutely, positively need to be certain that nobody's ever going to break into your house and steal your cat tree.

ETA: Whoops, some birds flew by, and now Lilly's on the top level, chittering like mad. This thing is like kitty cable in HD.
Tags: cats, lilly, nyssa, silliness
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  • 29 comments
I love the Armarkat cat trees. We have one for our bedroom, and the cats all love it mightily. Eventually, we're going to get an Armarkat one to replace the family room cat tower, which has seen better days.
They're sturdy and modular. Life is awesome. I eventually want one of these for every room in the house.
....you're right. This does look like a dead pumpkin-fucker orange Muppet. O.o It also looks like a fun cat tree. Hope the cats give you a few days of unimpeded writing for this!
That's the tree, but I swear that picture does not accurately convey how virulently orange this thing is. This is happy neon gourd-banging pumpkin-fucker orange. The photo is just a slightly peppy grouping a citrus fruit orange.
I'm also keeping in mind the fact that these people probably really love Photoshop, and toned down the color just a bit. That would also certainly explain why people who aren't already in love with that color hate it. ^^;;;

seanan_mcguire

8 years ago

ladyamber

8 years ago

dormouse_in_tea

8 years ago

It also offers the option of having it shipped to Hawaii by UPS Ground.

This perhaps means they are in league with Cthulu . . .
I would honestly not be surprised.

Deleted comment

That's what I'm here for! Well, that, and drinking all your soda. Speaking of which...
*giggling*

The mental images are very amusing.
So are the physical ones, believe me.
I bet!
That is the best description of orange EVER! (And I'm a big fan of orange...and Muppets!) ;-)
What's great is that this sucker is so damn virulent, it makes the walls of my room look somewhat less HELLO WE ARE ORANGE AND WE EAT YOU NOW. I figure it'll give my guests a false sense of security.
If you search "red-orange cat tree" on Google, your post is already result #4. :)

I would probably love it, but I'm afraid my partners don't quite share my love for warning-sign orange (frex, I have *two* identical hooded sweatsuits which allow me to be located at a mile distance).
How about "pumpkin-fucker orange"?
I will actually be disappointed if that phrase did not originate with me.
"Results 1-6 of 6 for pumpkin-fucker orange" at Google, all yours.

seanan_mcguire

8 years ago

See, that's proof that, according to the John Scalzi Theory of Fame, I already win at Internet.
I love the phrase "pumpkin-fucker orange."
So do I!
I had never encountered Armarkat 'til your post, and I've been wanting a new cat tree (I abandoned the old grubby one when I moved... it was seriously not worth moving), so I now have this one on its way to my house. Yay! Thanks for the pointer! (Sadly, mine is not covered in muppet fur.)
I love Armarkat like whoa. The trees are easy to assemble, easy to take apart, and incredibly sturdy -- at least the two models I have so far are, and I assume that extends throughout their lines. Plus, they come with excellent instructions, and a cute little wee wrench with which to assemble them.

I'm not kidding when I say that I eventually want one of these for every room in my house. Even, if I get a bathroom that has the right shape and depth and whatnot, for the bathroom. Because Lilly is compelled to help me pee.
*snrk* What a way to describe a color...
And yet so very accurate.