Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: thoughtful
  • Music: John Mellancamp, "Troubled Land."

Two years on my own; let's look at the time.

Today is January 15th, 2016. My last day of full-time employment for someone other than myself was January 15th, 2014. The last time I set an alarm for anything other than a trip to the airport or a convention was two years ago.

Two years. Where does the time go?

Two years ago today, I came home from work and crawled pretty much directly into bed. I wanted to be overjoyed. I wanted to be elated. I wanted to feel like I was free at last, finally free to write all the books I wanted to write and see all the places I wanted to see. Instead, I went straight to bed. I stayed there for about three weeks.

That sort of marathon of sleep usually indicates depression, at least for me. Not then. That was the sleep of being broken, of trying to fix myself. This last weekend Brooke said to me, sincerely, that my job--which had been a reasonable desk job, with reasonable people--had been killing me, and she wasn't wrong. I needed to either stop writing or stop working, and since there was no chance I was going to stop writing, I needed to stop working for someone other than myself. Or I was going to die.

(This is not hyperbole. I was sick constantly. I was stressed to the point of panic constantly, trying to figure out how to get enough money to let me quit so I could stop working all the time and actually get some sleep. I was miserable constantly. If my body hadn't broken and killed me, the thin line in my brain over which I usually manage not to step would have shifted, and I would have done something stupid.)

It's been two years of self-employment. I'm still learning. Budgets aren't easy, either of time or money. I'm still figuring things out. But I'm still moving, and I'm still not bored.

Saying "I quit" was the smartest thing I ever did.
Tags: state of the blonde
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tardis_stowaway

January 17 2016, 01:33:47 UTC 1 year ago

Congratulations on two years, and hopefully many more to come. I'm so glad that quitting your previous job to write full time has made you happier and healthier! (More shallowly, I'm also glad because it means you have more time to produce books for me to read.)

jenfullmoon

January 17 2016, 01:46:53 UTC 1 year ago

Congratulations on living the dream for the rest of us!

erinwrites

January 17 2016, 02:16:59 UTC 1 year ago

<3

(I was really worried about you back then, too...)

vaspider

January 17 2016, 06:41:50 UTC 1 year ago

I am so proud of you, darling. Today as much as any other day.

I look forward to getting to that point myself, and watching you succeed? That inspires me. I hope you know that. <3

(The best part for me is meeting random fans of yours online or IRL, and they are like OMG YOU KNOW HER?? Yes. Yes I do. And I love her. <3)

filkferengi

January 17 2016, 19:49:10 UTC 1 year ago

Happy anniversary!

It sounds like it's been a really great two years

sffilk

January 18 2016, 21:02:49 UTC 1 year ago

I think I can safely say that you're the first person I know who's actually taken this step and really become successful. My hope is that you continue to be successful and satisfied in what you're doing now.

vettecat

January 18 2016, 21:15:36 UTC 1 year ago

I remember the health problems. So very glad that this is working out well for you. (In addition to the happy bonus of there being more books!)

morningapproach

January 19 2016, 00:54:38 UTC 1 year ago

I think it is awesome that you took the leap! Are the books you were writing when you quit published yet? The reason I ask is because I wonder if there was a noticeable change (either that you noticed or that your readers have noticed) since you quit. I felt like there was a distinct shift in A Rose-Red Chain, but I'm not sure if it was because the story path is changing slightly, or because you had quit while you were writing it, and your focus and emphasis changed.

biguglymandoll

January 26 2016, 19:25:37 UTC 1 year ago

That's awesome! Writing full time has had other effects as well - you probably don't notice this, but I just keyed "Seanan" into Google. You're nine of the top 10 hits, and you're the first 7. Betcha didn't expect that two years ago!

Go YOU! ;-)

One job is enough. So glad you're doing it.

Elizabeth Peterson

February 8 2016, 18:13:41 UTC 1 year ago

A couple years ago I got to meet the lovely Gail Carriger. In her Guest of Honor speech at dinner she told the story of how her first job, was archaeology, how she loved the adventure and the exploration. But her other passion was writing. For years she tried to do both, working all day sorting fossils and writing up scientific findings, then by night writing her novels.
It was too much. In addition to constantly losing sleep, she developed horrible carpal tunnel and had to cut back. She had to choose ONE job. She chose writing and that's why her books are out today.
Basically, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your struggle. It can be horribly nerve wracking to make a choice like that, even IF you hate your day job. (Not saying you did!) What matters is that you do the best for you. Sleep and health and sanity are very important, finite resources. So glad you've been feeling better since.
Liz
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