quixoticYou Say: "How much do you get paid?"
We Hear: "Did you know that being a writer means it's not rude to ask you about money?"
You Say: "How big was your advance?"
We Hear: "My use of industry jargon means you'll tell me."
You Say: "So when are you going to quit your day job?"
We Hear: "Since you're obviously making pots of money JUST TELL ME ALREADY."
You Say: "Where do you get your ideas?"
We Hear: "I would like it if you would punch me in the face."
You Say: "I always wanted to be a writer."
We Hear: "How hard can it be?"
You Say: "Why do you waste your talent on that trash?"
We Hear: "It's been too long since the last time you punched me in the face."
You Say: "Why do you need an editor? Aren't you good at this yet?"
We Hear: "Punching isn't good enough. Get the cobras."
You Say: "How long are you going to just sit there?"
We Hear: "I've come to distract you! Thank me later."
You Say: "Is it really that hard to be published?"
We Hear: "I would like a double order of cobras, and maybe some scorpions."
You Say: "Did you publish this yourself?"
We Hear: "Make those scorpions radioactive, if you would be so kind."
You Say: "How much writing do you have to do?"
We Hear: "I know you're just screwing around and being anti-social."
You Say: "Will you read my story?"
We Hear: "Litigation is fun!"
Please submit any further suggestions for our phrasebook to the Bureau, and have a nice day!
December 13 2008, 00:45:11 UTC 8 years ago
I'm almost at the point where I /lie/ about what I do. However I feel this desire to be honest to doctors, in case, you know, it's relivant. (Too much House)
Anyway, my doctor is running half an hour late yesterday and he STILL wanted to learn everything about contracts, agents and advances. I suspect he's planning a book. -.-
Then we played on google for a while. Doctors should not have intenet access.
December 13 2008, 04:40:03 UTC 8 years ago