quixoticYou Say: "How much do you get paid?"
We Hear: "Did you know that being a writer means it's not rude to ask you about money?"
You Say: "How big was your advance?"
We Hear: "My use of industry jargon means you'll tell me."
You Say: "So when are you going to quit your day job?"
We Hear: "Since you're obviously making pots of money JUST TELL ME ALREADY."
You Say: "Where do you get your ideas?"
We Hear: "I would like it if you would punch me in the face."
You Say: "I always wanted to be a writer."
We Hear: "How hard can it be?"
You Say: "Why do you waste your talent on that trash?"
We Hear: "It's been too long since the last time you punched me in the face."
You Say: "Why do you need an editor? Aren't you good at this yet?"
We Hear: "Punching isn't good enough. Get the cobras."
You Say: "How long are you going to just sit there?"
We Hear: "I've come to distract you! Thank me later."
You Say: "Is it really that hard to be published?"
We Hear: "I would like a double order of cobras, and maybe some scorpions."
You Say: "Did you publish this yourself?"
We Hear: "Make those scorpions radioactive, if you would be so kind."
You Say: "How much writing do you have to do?"
We Hear: "I know you're just screwing around and being anti-social."
You Say: "Will you read my story?"
We Hear: "Litigation is fun!"
Please submit any further suggestions for our phrasebook to the Bureau, and have a nice day!
December 13 2008, 04:35:19 UTC 8 years ago
December 13 2008, 04:37:30 UTC 8 years ago