I'll see you tomorrow.: seanan

I'll see you tomorrow.

(Note: The following post discusses depression and suicide, quite frankly. If you want to skip it, I will understand. Also, I am calling a preemptive comment amnesty, because I don't know that I can get through whatever comments may be left. Thank you.)

***

Today is National Suicide Prevention Day. Today is the day where we turn to ourselves and to others, and say "I'll see you tomorrow," because we're trying to promise to stay, and we're trying to ask them to do the same. Because we're still here. Because some people aren't. Because depression lies. Because the path gets narrow.

I'm still here. I'm still here because Disneyland exists, and I can go there, even if it's not as often as I'd like. I'm still here because my cats don't understand why I ever leave the house at all, even when it's to buy them food and treats, and they would never stop waiting for me to come home. I'm still here because there are so many dogs I have yet to meet.

I'm still here because I still ache for some of the people who have gone, and I don't want to do that to anyone who loves me. I'm still here because some days I'm too much of a coward to pick up the razor, and other days I'm brave enough not to pick up the razor, and as long as it stays out of my hand, I'm okay. I'm still here because I know that depression lies, and when it gets too loud, I can ask other people to talk me through the silence.

I'm still here because the Counting Crows are on tour again, because there are movies I still need to see and books I still need to read and favorite songs I still need to hear for the very first time. I'm still here because the thought of strangers going through my things distresses me (and is the reason that sometimes very bad depressive patches will come with a lot of acquisitions). I'm still here because I haven't had the chance to write the X-Men yet, and when I do, I am going to change the world. I'm still here because I want to be, because I need to be, and because the fight is still worth fighting.

I'm still here because the world contains tomatoes. Because Lush has started making a blackcurrant frosting-scented shower gel. Because I really like television. Because the stories I tell matter to people, sometimes more than I could ever have dreamed. Because I want to see a lot of Broadway shows. Because I've never been to Japan, or New Zealand, or Wyoming. Because there are so many corn fields for me to run through, laughing, in the autumn sun. Because the Great Pumpkin loves me.

I'm still here.

Your reasons for still being here may not be the same as mine. They probably aren't. Everyone's reasons are different. But I hope you'll stay. I hope you'll find your reasons.

I'll see you tomorrow.

See You On The Morrow

hvideo

September 11 2015, 09:47:36 UTC 1 year ago

New comment

See You On The Morrow (TTTO: See You In September)

When I have lonely and sleepless nights
Sometimes I read books that Seanan writes
Buy buy, those books, and read
Buy another day

I will see you on the morrow
See you, that's a promise now
Sometimes I
Think about things dark and shady
This author and lady,
Can make the time go by

Sure they're better read when happy
But distraction ought to get its due
And I see hope that October
Can help me when I'm feeling blue

mysterysquid

September 11 2015, 11:03:37 UTC 1 year ago

Thank you.

phoenix_singing

September 11 2015, 14:02:10 UTC 1 year ago

I'm so very glad you're here.

I have a husband, a daughter, and soon, a son, whose lives I want to be a part of.

I still haven't made it to Japan or gotten my Japanese where I want it to be.

There are books yet to be read and stories still to be told (yours among them) and I don't want to miss them.

That basement fire took out a lot of things we were fond of, but we still have our house (and it's going to be amazing when the cleanup is done a few months from now). Most importantly, we have each other.

Life is still good in spite of the hard parts.

I'm still here, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Annie Slife

September 11 2015, 15:18:23 UTC 1 year ago

Thank you. So much.

I'll see you tomorrow.

brithistorian

September 11 2015, 16:48:49 UTC 1 year ago

I'm glad you're still here. And I'm glad I'm still here. And I'm glad for the very many people in my life who almost weren't still here but instead are. See you tomorrow.

ghoti

September 11 2015, 19:08:39 UTC 1 year ago

"I'm still here because I still ache for some of the people who have gone, and I don't want to do that to anyone who loves me."

This one. I lost a cousin, and I know I cannot do that to his sister or to our other family.

For me, I'm here because I promised I'd talk if it ever got to that stage, and there is noone who wouldn't stop and talk, and noone who wouldn't have something better to do but put it to one side anyway.

I'm here because a stranger with a semicolon tattoo reminded me that actually, people care.

On a different note, thank you for "Because the stories I tell matter to people, sometimes more than I could ever have dreamed." My father would have loved Toby. Reading Toby makes him feel close, which he wasn't for years before he actually died. Thank you for that.

prunesquallormd

September 11 2015, 21:19:50 UTC 1 year ago Edited: September 11 2015, 21:20:16 UTC

Thank you for this.
♥

merciful_soul

September 11 2015, 21:43:47 UTC 1 year ago

For all that has been and will be.
I will see you tomorrow.
Thank you

adafrog

September 12 2015, 03:21:43 UTC 1 year ago

See you tomorrow.

Speaking of Disneyland, I read about actual easter eggs at Disneyland. You probably know about most of them, but there is a list here: http://www.businessinsider.com/17-disneyland-easter-eggs-you-never-knew-existed-2015-7

_dante_sparda_

September 12 2015, 04:32:05 UTC 1 year ago

Love you, Seanan.

I'll see you tomorrow.

elisem

September 12 2015, 04:58:26 UTC 1 year ago

<3

I'll see you tomorrow.

ironed_orchid

September 12 2015, 18:44:07 UTC 1 year ago

I love you and I'm glad you're still here.

(I'm glad I'm still here, too.)

Sharon Murphy Karpierz

September 12 2015, 18:59:14 UTC 1 year ago

Thanks, Seanin. Because sometimes I don't know why I'm still here. But I am always glad that you are. See you tomorrow.

hevia

September 12 2015, 19:26:43 UTC 1 year ago

There are too many wonderful books to read, too many things I want to draw and write, too many sunsets to appreciate, too many dogs to cuddle and tell them what good dogs they are. Thank you for everything and I'll see you tomorrow.

coyotegoth

September 12 2015, 22:11:22 UTC 1 year ago

Also, having been to New Zealand: it is every bit as fresh and wide and magical as one would wish- it's like Narnia, when Aslan had first sung it into being- and it's loaded (at least in Wellington) with good used bookstores. I do hope you get a chance to see it one of these tomorrows.

batyatoon

September 13 2015, 00:30:47 UTC 1 year ago

Love you always, my very dear.

I'll see you tomorrow.

daniel76journal

September 13 2015, 06:09:31 UTC 1 year ago Edited: September 13 2015, 06:10:12 UTC

Depression is the main source of suicide.

seanan_mcguire

September 13 2015, 15:29:26 UTC 1 year ago

I am 1,000% unclear why you felt the need to say this.

Done last week (20150906Su - 12Sa)

livejournal

September 13 2015, 19:22:46 UTC 1 year ago

User

mdlbear referenced to your post from Done last week (20150906Su - 12Sa) saying: [...] and got *silently* dropped. Now schedled for the 17th @ I'll see you tomorrow.: seanan_mcguire [...]

klwilliams

September 13 2015, 19:37:01 UTC 1 year ago

I'm still here because

kathlaw isn't. The fallout from her death was broad and painful, and I vowed I would never do that to anyone. What would my godchildren think? Who would Mac give mousies to and sing to? And I could never do that to my mother. Fortunately, now I have Chaz, who fills my days with delight, and I hope we're both here for each other forever.

serenejournal

September 13 2015, 23:52:00 UTC 1 year ago

I'm glad the world has you in it.

scholarinexile

September 14 2015, 01:32:26 UTC 1 year ago

I've been with a lot of people through this fight. I lost my father to it four years ago. I tried hard, but I couldn't save him from the shadows. I've saved twelve others that I know of in my life, but when it came to him, there was nothing I could do, and every day I ask myself if there were magic words I could have said that would have helped him out of the darkness that last time.

I count you a friend, if a distant one and one I don't talk to much, and I care about your well being a great deal. If you ever need a light in the darkness, please don't hesitate to contact me. You're never alone.

Thank you for having the courage to share this. I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you

pusifoot

September 14 2015, 19:08:10 UTC 1 year ago

Comment amnesty respected means you may never read this and that's ok. It's here anyway.

Thank you - for being here, for being you, for sharing your stories with the world and with me. Thank you for reminding me why I'm here (some of our reasons overlap, some don't. That's not just ok, that's wonderful.)

I'll see you tomorrow. (In a totally supportive and non-stalkercreepy way!)

vettecat

September 16 2015, 19:05:21 UTC 1 year ago

We are very glad that you're here.

gement

September 18 2015, 16:51:31 UTC 1 year ago

Late on this (because I was on a wonderful and stability-supporting vacation), but I will see you today's tomorrow.

And thank you for the Birthday. The day I arrived last year was a day I really needed it.

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I'll see you tomorrow.

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See You On The Morrow

Done last week (20150906Su - 12Sa)

Thank you