On empathy.: seanan

On empathy.

To the woman who made nasty comments about my "turning radius" when I had to move my electric scooter in front of Big Thunder Mountain; to the person who let their children sit on the ground with their hands pressed against my wheels, and scowled when I said this wasn't safe; to the people who stood on curb cuts and glared when asked, politely, if they would let me pass; to the man who snickered and murmured about lazy bitches when I drove by at Typhoon Lagoon; to everyone who sighed and rolled their eyes when a bus had to be lowered to load me on:

I do not wish you my experience. I do not wish you injury or handicap, however temporary. I do not wish you pain. I do not wish you the soul-bruising frustration of being limited by a body that refuses to listen to your commands, or the salt in the wound that is knowing you did nothing to deserve this: that you didn't injure yourself running a marathon or rock-climbing, but instead fell prey to something that can strike anyone, at any time, for any reason. I do not wish you years spent sedentary, watching your friends rush by able-bodied and healthy, and struggling not to resent them for it.

Instead, I wish you empathy.

I wish for a future where you can look at someone using an assistance device, whether it be a cane, a wheelchair, or a motorized scooter, and think "isn't it wonderful how we live in a world where this person can have the same experiences I do."

I wish for a time where you can see someone using a motorized scooter to enjoy something as large as Disney World and think "isn't that person kind, to spare their friends and family the effort of pushing a manual wheelchair around this huge place, just so that they don't have to experience the nerve-racking stress of navigating something so large and potentially dangerous through a crowd."

I wish for a society where you can listen to simple, necessary requests and hear, not an inconvenience, but a leveling out of a certain small imbalance in the world.

I wish for a place where you can see a wheelchair user sitting to watch a parade and not think "great, let's stand in front of them, that's open space," but instead "isn't it lovely how we can all get a good view."

I am not asking for special privileges. I am not asking to go to the head of the line just because my left foot doesn't work sometimes.

All I am asking is to be allowed, unjudged and unresented, to join the line at all.

Thank you.

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geekhyena

May 18 2015, 01:45:35 UTC 2 years ago

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That's one reason my roomie and I often errand together (she has EDS, too) - safety in numbers. The local stores suck in regards to mobility carts. Often they forget to charge them. I haven't ever seen any at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods, either. The worst is public transit, though, especially on days when she's using arm crutches - lots of glares or "you're too young to be disabled!" or people outright ignoring she exists. I have a messed up back and knees due to heredity and sports injuries and if I had a nickel for every time I've gotten a "use the stairs!" or "why can't you stand on the bus/train?" comment.... *heavy sigh* Why can't people just mind their own business?

jenrose1

May 18 2015, 04:04:06 UTC 2 years ago

I saw someone using the cart in TJ's or I never would have known they had one back when I first started needing them. It took pointing out to them that it was a bad place to store it and finally flat out refusing to go to the back and bothering a cashier every time for them to move it forward. The last straw for me was coming in to find it parked at the front of the store, plugged in, but so tightly corralled by wine cases that it was impossible for size 4x me to even think about getting it, and the thin employee who helped me (after I stood there on a broken ankle in a walking boot for five minutes) had trouble. That prompted the letter to corporate and they literally fixed everything less than 24 hours later.

We don't have whole foods, but we do have a LOT of health food stores. One is too small for an electric cart and I just don't shop there.
One is brand new and their cart is a lemon and it has literally been out of service 70% of the times I've been there in the 3 months. I complain each and every time I'm in there and they have have it serviced like 10 times since they opened this year. It's a small, well organized store, so I will sometimes shop there anyway or I will sit in their cafe and have an employee pick up my list.
One is trader joes.
Market of choice is usually good with their carts but they only have one per store and in one store the seat is incredibly uncomfortable. They may be willing to get a special cart one of these days that allows for older children with disabilities to sit in a cart while parent or caregiver shops.
Fred Meyer is amazing, They have like 8 carts per store plus in-store free childcare while you shop.

May 18 2015, 05:02:19 UTC 2 years ago

I'll have to see if ours has ones, then. It'd help when my roomie has bad joint days. Wish WF did though - they have a student discount, so it's sometimes cheaper than TJ's because of that, plus it's got more allergy-safe products (we're a soyfree/cornfree household). I don't think there are any Fred Meyers around here, but I went to one in Seattle - it was nice! (I'm sort of a bit inland of the Bay Area, and in-town shopping options are kinda limited)

Now if they could just get BART to put their elevators somewhere you don't have to walk ages to get to - kinda defeats the purpose, but half the time the escalators aren't working and even if they are, they shut them down after evening rush hour. San Francisco is extremely mobility-unfriendly. There's a comic shop I like I can't go to anymore because the hill it's on is too steep and it's too far to walk from the train station but not far enough an Uber feels worth it.

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