Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: sad
  • Music: Glee, "Juke Box Hero."

On empathy.

To the woman who made nasty comments about my "turning radius" when I had to move my electric scooter in front of Big Thunder Mountain; to the person who let their children sit on the ground with their hands pressed against my wheels, and scowled when I said this wasn't safe; to the people who stood on curb cuts and glared when asked, politely, if they would let me pass; to the man who snickered and murmured about lazy bitches when I drove by at Typhoon Lagoon; to everyone who sighed and rolled their eyes when a bus had to be lowered to load me on:

I do not wish you my experience. I do not wish you injury or handicap, however temporary. I do not wish you pain. I do not wish you the soul-bruising frustration of being limited by a body that refuses to listen to your commands, or the salt in the wound that is knowing you did nothing to deserve this: that you didn't injure yourself running a marathon or rock-climbing, but instead fell prey to something that can strike anyone, at any time, for any reason. I do not wish you years spent sedentary, watching your friends rush by able-bodied and healthy, and struggling not to resent them for it.

Instead, I wish you empathy.

I wish for a future where you can look at someone using an assistance device, whether it be a cane, a wheelchair, or a motorized scooter, and think "isn't it wonderful how we live in a world where this person can have the same experiences I do."

I wish for a time where you can see someone using a motorized scooter to enjoy something as large as Disney World and think "isn't that person kind, to spare their friends and family the effort of pushing a manual wheelchair around this huge place, just so that they don't have to experience the nerve-racking stress of navigating something so large and potentially dangerous through a crowd."

I wish for a society where you can listen to simple, necessary requests and hear, not an inconvenience, but a leveling out of a certain small imbalance in the world.

I wish for a place where you can see a wheelchair user sitting to watch a parade and not think "great, let's stand in front of them, that's open space," but instead "isn't it lovely how we can all get a good view."

I am not asking for special privileges. I am not asking to go to the head of the line just because my left foot doesn't work sometimes.

All I am asking is to be allowed, unjudged and unresented, to join the line at all.

Thank you.
Tags: cranky blonde is cranky, depression, disney girl, medical fu
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  • 109 comments

celticdragonfly

May 17 2015, 22:54:44 UTC 2 years ago

Oh, thank you for writing this. I am struggling with feelings on this myself, as I have gradually been going from someone who used to love long daily walks with a book, and loved going contra dancing, to someone who hurts all over most days, can't walk fast or long, and is part-time using a cane and starting to use the scooters and carts. I struggle with knowing that people are looking at me and thinking "oh she's just fat and lazy", and that autoimmune diseases don't *show*, and fighting with the inside feelings that somehow if I just willed it properly I could make it all go away.

jenrose1

May 18 2015, 21:31:47 UTC 2 years ago

I wish there was a way to wear a sign without wearing a sign that says, "I am fat because I have a syndrome which makes exercise difficult at best and counterproductive at worst, combined with metabolic issues and I probably eat healthier than you do."

People mostly don't give me shit since I shaved my head. I assume they think I have cancer or something. Only one person has asked, and in the least obnoxious way possible. (checkout guy at a store I frequent asked if I was "going to be okay" in a pointed way, with much concern.) i don't bother correcting the assumption, though the truth is that crappy genetics, hypothyroid, autoimmune issues and three kids made my hair fall out.

thedragonweaver

June 2 2015, 18:26:17 UTC 2 years ago

Excess weight (where "excess" means past the value of health, not society's standards) usually follows health issues rather than leading them. So telling someone to lose weight to improve their health is like telling someone to walk to fix their broken ankle.

Anyway. Pet peeve (I keep it fed and groomed for show.)

seanan_mcguire

June 7 2015, 16:03:13 UTC 2 years ago

All the love to you.