Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: depressed
  • Music: Hannah reading Sailor Moon fairy tales.

Dealing with some shit: a plea.

I am dealing with some shit right now. Some of you probably already know about the shit; others may be hearing that shit has happened for the first time. I will talk about the shit more, here, soon. It's just that LJ is an innately long-form medium, which means I've been putting off bringing the shit here until I can think about it reasonably. Know that I am coping, I am not alone, and I will explain myself better before much longer. But that is not what this post is about.

Because I have been very busy recently, and because I am known to be dealing with shit, I'm getting more and more "do not reply to this" messages, and "no answer needed" emails. And this is...this is not good. This is incredibly stressful and upsetting and has started sending me into panic spirals when I go to answer my email.

Look: no one can say "reply amnesty" except for me. If I say it, I am telling my brain "okay, you can rest." If you say it, to me, what you're telling my brain is a lovely combination of "I do not want you" and "I do not think you can handle your own responsibilities." This is because my brain is a jerk sometimes, and does not want me to be happy. This is an outgrowth of my OCD. I generally handle it pretty well, but right now, I'm getting a lot of "please do not reply" messages from people expressing sympathy or solidarity, and it's doing horrible things to my mental health.

I am not a fast correspondent. I do not answer everything instantly. I am not capable of keeping up with everything, all the time. But I do my best. I try to endure. Please don't tell me to stop talking to you.

My heart can't take it.
Tags: depression, from mars, shameless plea
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  • 96 comments

acelightning

August 1 2014, 00:25:57 UTC 2 years ago Edited:  August 1 2014, 00:27:12 UTC

I agree with rhoda_rants; you're a Famous Author Person, and we're just fangirls and fanboys you don't even know, so why should we expect replies from you in the first place? And I'm just a fat old lady in New Jersey... but I'm always absurdly pleased when you do reply to my LJ comments. So if it will help you feel better, I'm encouraging (although not demanding) you to reply to this - something as simple as "Noted and logged" will do :-)

Also, *hugs*, cups of tea, homemade cupcakes, and bad puns, as needed, to help you deal with shit...

seanan_mcguire

November 13 2014, 16:57:12 UTC 2 years ago

Thank you.

acelightning

November 14 2014, 04:09:21 UTC 2 years ago

You'll never have to worry about any of your problems being too weird for me - see userpic. (My friend mckavian said something very similar to you, further down in the comments here - and I'm the person he talks to when HIS problems get seriously weird.) In fact, I have a strong positive tropism for weirdness... which is one of reasons I love your stories so much. (Just finished reading "The Fixed Stars" about twenty minutes ago.)