Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: thoughtful
  • Music: Glee, "Gangnam Style."

Fun is sometimes a four-letter word.

People ask me "well, did you have fun?" a lot. After conventions, after signings, after anything that would have involved me appearing in a professional capacity. I generally smile and say I had a very nice time, but that's not always enough. Some people want to know, for sure and for certain, that I had fun. That I am riding my giddy inner parade float off to Candy Mountain, land of sweet sugary joyness, and not counting the minutes until I can take off my shoes and stop trying to interact with humans.

This is difficult for me.

Here is what I do for fun at a convention: I cruise the dealer's room, sometimes for hours, looking at things I have no intention of buying, spending too much money at the same time. I go back to my hotel room and eat M&Ms while watching cartoons on whatever kid-oriented channel the hotel includes as part of its cable package. Sometimes, when I have a few hours of downtime, I attend a concert or get someone to drive me to the nearest Target, where I buy cranberry juice and Diet Dr Pepper and more M&Ms.

Here is what I do not do for fun: everything else.

I love being a guest at conventions. It's one of my natural environments. I grew up at cons, I'm good at cons, I always have a nice time. I always have a good time. Even at the con where I had an allergic reaction so severe that I spent literally three hours in my hotel room huddled around the toilet bowl and crying, I had a good time. But I don't have much fun. Fun is not the reason I am there. Like the girls on reality shows who aren't there to make friends, I am not there to enjoy myself: I'm there to work.

When I am a guest at a con, I am there to help you have fun. I'm there to listen and speak and sign and sometimes give hugs. I'm there to hand out ribbons and admire tattoos and do whatever is asked of me, because I'm working. I am at work. My job is awesome and enjoyable and I am so, so lucky to have it; sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have it. I wouldn't change it for anything. But every time I do something I consider "fun" (latest example: chasing lizards around the rocks at Disneyland), I am reminded that no, I am not at conventions to have fun. And that's a good thing.

I am making more fun for you.
Tags: contemplation, conventions
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  • 72 comments

bunsen_h

May 2 2014, 21:48:24 UTC 3 years ago

Hrm. Do you never go to cons any more just to go to the con, to go to panels (maybe sitting on one or two, but mostly just being in the audience), participate in filking, etc.? I understand that you are extremely busy with your work (and I can't imagine how you get as much stuff done as you do!), but if you are now going to cons only when you're a guest, when you are expected to work as part of going... that makes me a bit sad.

There was a Toronto Trek convention, some years back, that had George Takei and Marina Sirtis as guests. Sirtis appeared only for her GOH talks and for one other headline event, and for her autograph session. Takei did those, and one or two other panel things, and the rest of the time he sat in on sessions and wandered around and hung out and... was just a con-goer. Seemed to be having a good time.

seanan_mcguire

May 2 2014, 22:04:56 UTC 3 years ago

There was a Toronto Trek convention, some years back, that had George Takei and Marina Sirtis as guests. Sirtis appeared only for her GOH talks and for one other headline event, and for her autograph session. Takei did those, and one or two other panel things, and the rest of the time he sat in on sessions and wandered around and hung out and... was just a con-goer. Seemed to be having a good time.

Forgive me if this isn't what you meant, but this feels a little judgey to me, like Takei was doing it right and she was doing it wrong. George Takei is awesome. He's also a man. I guarantee you that when Sirtis goes to cons, she gets leered at, propositioned, asked about her breasts, and made to feel uncomfortable in a way that he doesn't. He can walk around without security. She can't. And sometimes, neither can I.

I've been working at cons since I was a teenager. I don't mind. I have a good time. I just don't have fun, and that's okay.