Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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Fun is sometimes a four-letter word.

People ask me "well, did you have fun?" a lot. After conventions, after signings, after anything that would have involved me appearing in a professional capacity. I generally smile and say I had a very nice time, but that's not always enough. Some people want to know, for sure and for certain, that I had fun. That I am riding my giddy inner parade float off to Candy Mountain, land of sweet sugary joyness, and not counting the minutes until I can take off my shoes and stop trying to interact with humans.

This is difficult for me.

Here is what I do for fun at a convention: I cruise the dealer's room, sometimes for hours, looking at things I have no intention of buying, spending too much money at the same time. I go back to my hotel room and eat M&Ms while watching cartoons on whatever kid-oriented channel the hotel includes as part of its cable package. Sometimes, when I have a few hours of downtime, I attend a concert or get someone to drive me to the nearest Target, where I buy cranberry juice and Diet Dr Pepper and more M&Ms.

Here is what I do not do for fun: everything else.

I love being a guest at conventions. It's one of my natural environments. I grew up at cons, I'm good at cons, I always have a nice time. I always have a good time. Even at the con where I had an allergic reaction so severe that I spent literally three hours in my hotel room huddled around the toilet bowl and crying, I had a good time. But I don't have much fun. Fun is not the reason I am there. Like the girls on reality shows who aren't there to make friends, I am not there to enjoy myself: I'm there to work.

When I am a guest at a con, I am there to help you have fun. I'm there to listen and speak and sign and sometimes give hugs. I'm there to hand out ribbons and admire tattoos and do whatever is asked of me, because I'm working. I am at work. My job is awesome and enjoyable and I am so, so lucky to have it; sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to have it. I wouldn't change it for anything. But every time I do something I consider "fun" (latest example: chasing lizards around the rocks at Disneyland), I am reminded that no, I am not at conventions to have fun. And that's a good thing.

I am making more fun for you.
Tags: contemplation, conventions
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Don't do that! Disney next month!

dornbeast

3 years ago

This makes sense to me.

p_m_cryan

3 years ago

You made very good fun for us at Norwescon and I appreciated the hell out of it.

(Nowhere near as demanding but I traveled with a vendor to assorted festivals years ago. So, yeah, I get that other people are there to have fun but I was working and not sleeping in my own bed and living
out of a suitcase and not able to eat my normal diet on my normal schedule and having to interact with people whether or not they were being nice. Mostly they were, but whether they were nice or not it was my job.
And then people would say things like 'I wish I got paid to play all day' and argh. Just... argh.)
I am so very glad. :)

sheistheweather

3 years ago

Funny, isn't it, how people sometimes insist you have fun? Fun is not always the goal. Sometimes the goal is peace, recovery, bonding, or connecting to fans.

I can't wait to see you at Phoenix Comicon. I promise not to ask if you're having fun.
Thank you! I hope I can live up to your expectations!
That's a distinction more people should understand: having a good time doesn't necessarily mean you're having fun.

I'm not entirely sure how to tease them apart fully; but I might start by thinking of having a good time as being in a pleasant environment, and having fun as doing something for your own enjoyment. I hope you had a good time at FOGcon, and I hope you had fun at Disneyland.
I think that is a very good definition, and I did, in both cases.
I very much appreciated your hard work at Norwescon. Your concert blew me away. You were gracious and kind any time I interacted with you, whether that was at the merch table, or running into you in the art show or the hallway. I laughed so hard during your interview and the terrific stories you shared, and delighted to hear your Sparrow Hill Road reading. I was thrilled to have you be the Special GoH at Norwescon, and I can say that you absolutely made my con experience better and more fun. I am still full of squee over getting both a Wicked Girl ribbon and a We Are ribbon. They have a place on my wall, and in my heart. Thank you.
You are so very welcome.
Good for you. That's the right attitude to have. And I hope you also have plenty of moments where you chase lizards, too.
I am the terror of lizards everywhere.
And so you did - you made Norwescon an amazing amount of fun for me! I loved the reading (looking forward to Sparrow Hill Road even more now!) and your Q and As are always entertaining. I was blown away by your concert (and happily introduced to Vixy and Tony, too)!! Thank you so much for being approachable, and just generally awesome. I understand the concept of a con as work for you, but I do hope the fans aren't too much, at least not too often. I tried not to stalk for real, cause that's just not ok, but I had a great time play "stalking" you. :D
It was super fun and I appreciated it in the spirit in which it was intended. :)

Stupid question ...

autopope

April 30 2014, 08:59:52 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  April 30 2014, 09:00:44 UTC

(This may have some bearing on the interpretation of your thesis ...)

Did you start going to conventions before or after you began writing, and before or after you began selling fiction?

(I have a follow-on idea I want to flesh out, depending on how you answer ...)
My timeline is skewed.

I started writing (I was VERY SERIOUS about it) when I was nine. I started attending and working conventions when I was fifteen. I started publishing when I was thirty-one. So cons have always been a happy place, a home place, and a place where "fun" was not the priority.
I realize I am probably one of the annoying people that ask if you had fun and I apologize. I understand conventions are work time for you and realize specially at conventions in your genre where you are well recognized you may feel you are on stage the moment you step out of your room. I have done similar work and while it is enjoyable it is not always fun. I am hoping when I ask if you had fun if you got a chance to relax step off stage and just be you. If that means to you did you have fun going to Target in the middle of the convention that is fine. Did you have time to eat m&ms and watch silly cartoons? Also I think chasing lizards in Disney sounds like great fun.
Being asked is totally fine! It's the people who pursue me going "but did you have FUN was it FUN" that sometimes make me a little uncomfortable.

I had M&Ms and Once Upon a Time, I was good. :)

kat_merle

3 years ago

I hear you on this. My job also involves having a public face; facilitating an experience for other people; being in a space where I would go if I were not working, but when I am working, it is different to be there. So it isn't always fun, though it is always something I feel incredibly grateful to be able to do.

Anyway, tl;dr, this post speaks to me.
I am glad.
Thank you for clarifying the important difference between having fun and having a nice time - I understand completely and yet could well be one of the people that prompted the need for a distinction.

You are one of the several things that made Norwescon fun for me, so thank you for doing such an excellent job. (And I have Sparrow Hill Road on order at my friendly neighborhood bookstore, so more fun is in my immediate future.)

You never have, honestly. Asking once is fine: it's the people who ask over and over again who sometimes make me twitchy.
Perhaps asking a better question would satisfy both the querent and the subject...?

Examples:
"Was it a good convention?"
"Did you do anything particularly cool?"
"Whose skin is that?"

I am much the same - I thoroughly enjoy the energy of being present at and working at cons (my strength is cat-herding for line management with the occasional panel seat when, somehow, there's a sarcasm deficiency) - but doing that is very, very far from what I consider "fun."

"I had a good time" is both true and evasive, which is why we can come home later and blog about our adventures at whatever length we desire, right? *fistbump*
The question is absolutely fine. It's the people who go "but did you have FUN?" in response to anything that's not "yes, I had so much fun, I had all the fun in the world, hooray" that cause the problem.
I totally get that. Like being the hostess at a party-- you want everyone else to enjoy themselves, but are busy making the event happen.
Yes!
The next time we're at a con together (Sasquan?), feel free to come to my dealer's table and sit with me. I will have yummy snacks and shiny things to look at.
Oooooo, awesome. What's your stall name?

lillian13

3 years ago

I'm working on a piece about being an artist and a performer. You just gave me all kinds of good ideas!
Hooray!
I figure it's a lot like when I go to a scientific conference. They're enjoyable, but not leisure activities or vacations*. So they're work-fun not fun-fun.

* Though one year I did skip a day to visit the San Diego zoo, and in France, I spent a morning exploring a museum in a castle.
Yes, exactly.
Welcome to why I never ask people "Did you have fun?" but always ask "Did you have a good show?"
Yes.
This. Right here. This is why I prefer the question as "was it a good con?"

It was great seeing you at Norwescon and chatting with you for a bit amongst our busy schedules.
I was so glad to see you!
I'm a (very introverted!) vendor at cons and I get this completely. Yup, yup, yup.
Yup.
When you are at a con, you make my and as far as I can tell a lot of other people's experiences much better. I hope you enjoy the time you are there and continue to be happy about it in the days after the con is over. My most natural shorthand for that would be to ask if you had fun; I will endeavor to remember what you've said here and use words that you will receive more as I meant them.
Asking me if I had fun is fine; pressing for that specific "yes I had fun" response after I've said it was a good show is where the problem comes in.
This sounds like the difference between "recreational fun" that you chose yourself and "fun at work" on some level.

I am amused at your music tag for this one, incidentally.*

* yeah, I still watch it.
* Me, too, clearly.
*nods vigorously*

This is why I shamelessly stole adopted "Did you have a good convention?," after hearing you ask that of michaeldthomas.

Because, exactly.
Yes.
Wait. None of those things count as "fun?" Damn, I've been doing conventions wrong.
Snrk.
That makes a lot of sense. In many ways, I approach Renn Faires the same way, though that's a bit more tangled for me, since ours is basically a volunteer gig (the guild gets paid enough to feed all of us lunch, usually), so complete lack of fun would mean I'd stop going. But still, when I'm there and in costume, the point is to put on a show the patrons enjoy. While I do hope to enjoy the company of the others who do the same, that's not the actual focus. If it were, I'd never get up on stage for one more dance at the end of a long, hot day. So yeah, I can see the distinction, though I'd never thought on it long enough to articulate it even to myself. So, thanks for today's thoughtful moment.

For what it's worth, I think you put on an excellent show for all of us at cons and your book events. That's why we'll keep turning up anytime they're within vaguely sane travelling distance. :) So, I'm glad you like your job, and I'm glad you also have an oulet for fun in your life, and can totally get that they're different things.
I am really glad you enjoy them. <3
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