Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: distressed
  • Music: The Barr Brothers, "Beggar in the Morning."

There are lines. Please stop crossing them.

When I posted about depression, I said that I was giving myself comment amnesty; I said that I might not (probably would not) read the comments.

Since then, people have contacted me via email (when they had it), via my old email (which I rarely check), via my contact form, via Facebook, and via my Tumblr, to give me their phone numbers, to tell me not to hurt myself (which I did not threaten to do), to provide crisis hotlines, to make suggestions about medication (which I did not solicit), and in one case, to threaten to report me to the police as a suicide risk if I did not update my blog immediately to show that I was still alive.

Please. Stop. "Comment amnesty" did not mean "work harder to make sure that your words, your well wishes, your specific need to engage with my depression will be heard." I try to keep open dialogs on this blog, and I usually appreciate communication, but right now, this contact is intrusive, and upsetting, and seems to prioritize the needs of the contacting person above mine. Please. Stop.

This is why I do not talk when I am sad.
Tags: depression, shameless plea
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  • 222 comments

erikagillian

January 13 2014, 02:35:30 UTC 3 years ago

This seems like an extreme version of Ally Brosh's dead fish. [search on fish to find the right part] In her big depression post, (which you may have read, but if not maybe don't read it if you're particularly low as it's a very real and amazing description of depression), she explains how hard it is to talk about depression to 'normal' people. And uses the metaphor of her having some dead goldfish, telling people her goldfish are dead and having people suggest things like helping her find her goldfish. It's very hard to describe depression accurately to people who haven't had it or been around someone who had it and I find Ally's stuff about it very useful. Though she has different symptoms to mine, the general idea is the same.

seanan_mcguire

January 13 2014, 15:18:08 UTC 3 years ago

THE FISH ARE DEAD.

So true.