Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: distressed
  • Music: The Barr Brothers, "Beggar in the Morning."

There are lines. Please stop crossing them.

When I posted about depression, I said that I was giving myself comment amnesty; I said that I might not (probably would not) read the comments.

Since then, people have contacted me via email (when they had it), via my old email (which I rarely check), via my contact form, via Facebook, and via my Tumblr, to give me their phone numbers, to tell me not to hurt myself (which I did not threaten to do), to provide crisis hotlines, to make suggestions about medication (which I did not solicit), and in one case, to threaten to report me to the police as a suicide risk if I did not update my blog immediately to show that I was still alive.

Please. Stop. "Comment amnesty" did not mean "work harder to make sure that your words, your well wishes, your specific need to engage with my depression will be heard." I try to keep open dialogs on this blog, and I usually appreciate communication, but right now, this contact is intrusive, and upsetting, and seems to prioritize the needs of the contacting person above mine. Please. Stop.

This is why I do not talk when I am sad.
Tags: depression, shameless plea
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  • 222 comments

acelightning

January 13 2014, 10:36:29 UTC 3 years ago

This is a serious question. I emphatically don't want to be intrusive, or make you feel worse, or tell you obvious things that you've heard so many times that the mere mention of them makes you want to scream obscenities and throw large breakable objects. So what's the best way for someone like me to express concern and offer whatever comfort might be appropriate, without being creepy or making it all about me when it's clearly about YOU?

(Gods, those sentences got convoluted. I think I'm running out of semicolons.)

seanan_mcguire

January 13 2014, 15:50:03 UTC 3 years ago

Commenting on the post where I'd cried amnesty would have worked, since then it wouldn't require an answer from me. Just being here is supportive enough, I promise.

acelightning

January 14 2014, 09:08:34 UTC 3 years ago

I did - I quoted Dorothy Parker.

I don't remember whether I've already invited you to my 100th birthday party, but if I haven't, you're invited now. It will be held in December 2047, either in an orbital habitat or Luna City, whichever seems more appropriate at the time. And now you have another reason not to die.)