Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: distressed
  • Music: The Barr Brothers, "Beggar in the Morning."

There are lines. Please stop crossing them.

When I posted about depression, I said that I was giving myself comment amnesty; I said that I might not (probably would not) read the comments.

Since then, people have contacted me via email (when they had it), via my old email (which I rarely check), via my contact form, via Facebook, and via my Tumblr, to give me their phone numbers, to tell me not to hurt myself (which I did not threaten to do), to provide crisis hotlines, to make suggestions about medication (which I did not solicit), and in one case, to threaten to report me to the police as a suicide risk if I did not update my blog immediately to show that I was still alive.

Please. Stop. "Comment amnesty" did not mean "work harder to make sure that your words, your well wishes, your specific need to engage with my depression will be heard." I try to keep open dialogs on this blog, and I usually appreciate communication, but right now, this contact is intrusive, and upsetting, and seems to prioritize the needs of the contacting person above mine. Please. Stop.

This is why I do not talk when I am sad.
Tags: depression, shameless plea
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  • 222 comments

zola

January 13 2014, 03:36:55 UTC 3 years ago

I for one am very, very sorry that what I thought was a simple expression of caring was interpreted as somehow breaking boundaries or being intrusive. I didn't think you were at all suicidal from your post, but I did actually send you my phone number because there are entirely too many people that say they care and don't back it up with their actions. I wasn't thinking of now at all, but perhaps some day if things got very bad and you just needed someone to listen, you should know that I was willing to do just that. I actually didn't expect you to use the number, I wanted to show my support of your efforts.

seanan_mcguire

January 13 2014, 15:21:43 UTC 3 years ago

I get that, and if it had been just you, it would have been one thing. But it wasn't. It was over a dozen people, through different channels, some of which could be stopped by my PA, others of which came straight to me. And sadly, that's why I don't talk about depression while I'm depressed, and need the help. Because being dogpiled flips me out and makes me miserable and causes me to self-isolate, since I'm very clearly becoming a burden.

zola

January 13 2014, 17:15:59 UTC 3 years ago

I can certainly understand the sense of being dogpiled, and I am very sorry I contributed to such a feeling.