Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: distressed
  • Music: The Barr Brothers, "Beggar in the Morning."

There are lines. Please stop crossing them.

When I posted about depression, I said that I was giving myself comment amnesty; I said that I might not (probably would not) read the comments.

Since then, people have contacted me via email (when they had it), via my old email (which I rarely check), via my contact form, via Facebook, and via my Tumblr, to give me their phone numbers, to tell me not to hurt myself (which I did not threaten to do), to provide crisis hotlines, to make suggestions about medication (which I did not solicit), and in one case, to threaten to report me to the police as a suicide risk if I did not update my blog immediately to show that I was still alive.

Please. Stop. "Comment amnesty" did not mean "work harder to make sure that your words, your well wishes, your specific need to engage with my depression will be heard." I try to keep open dialogs on this blog, and I usually appreciate communication, but right now, this contact is intrusive, and upsetting, and seems to prioritize the needs of the contacting person above mine. Please. Stop.

This is why I do not talk when I am sad.
Tags: depression, shameless plea
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  • 222 comments

For what it's worth....

anderyn

January 13 2014, 00:06:45 UTC 3 years ago

My reaction to that post was a heartfelt... yes... depression feels like that, and I'm --- not happy, since I wish you didn't have to feel that way, but pleased, maybe? --- to see someone articulate expressing their experience, and how it all feels from inside. I do wish that you may find peace and surcease from the wonky brain chemistry, and I selfishly hope that you will also stay around for a long time, because I truly enjoy your writing, but --- good Lord. As far as I could tell, there was nothing in the post that said you were feeling actively suicidal NOW, so what the fuck with these interventionist people? And what the fuck with trying to contact you directly when they aren't in your personal life? Good Lord. I respect your right to your own life and the fact that I am not your friend in person. I hope that your real-life friends are supporting you and keeping you sane and alive, but that's all I can reasonably do.

seanan_mcguire

January 13 2014, 15:12:56 UTC 3 years ago

All I wanted to do was offer that moment of understanding, so I'm glad to hear that it came through.

anderyn

January 14 2014, 17:31:39 UTC 3 years ago

And it came through very well. I'm a life-long depressive (diagnosed as such), who's been on medication for nearly 20 years, and I felt that your description was spot-on. I do wish no one had to feel like this, but if you have to, it's good to know others do, too, you know?