Welcome to the fourth of the Twelve Days of Hogswatch. I am starting a new giveaway every day between now and January 6th (the day after my birthday). Each giveaway has different rules, and a different deadline, although all prizes will be mailed on January 9th, because I am bad at going to the post office.
The fourth giveaway is for a shiny new copy of Carniepunk, an awesome anthology I participated in this summer. This is going to be a random number drawing with a twist, because I am sleepy (that's been happening a lot lately) but still silly. So...
1. To enter, comment on this post.
2. If you are international, indicate both this and your willingness to pay postage.
3. Tell me what position you are applying for on the Midway. Impress me.
4. That's it.
I will choose the winner at 1PM PST on Monday, December 30th.
Game on!
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December 29 2013, 05:11:00 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 05:18:21 UTC 3 years ago
(US local.)
December 29 2013, 05:22:16 UTC 3 years ago Edited: December 29 2013, 06:10:39 UTC
US local
December 29 2013, 05:24:03 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 05:29:18 UTC 3 years ago
I am applying for fortuneteller. I have a large number of tarot decks.
December 29 2013, 05:37:32 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 05:43:11 UTC 3 years ago
USA :)
I apply for the position of woman who whips people with her hair. It's a seriously fun position, and I can do it just by turning my head very quickly. It's down past my bum and trying to get longer, though with the staticky winter I can't promise it won't try to eat you. Or hug you. Or strangle you. It's honestly up to its moods and I claim no responsibility for its actions right now, for real.
December 29 2013, 06:03:51 UTC 3 years ago
I'm applying for the position of Unicorn...just because.
December 29 2013, 06:23:11 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 06:26:35 UTC 3 years ago
I would be "Cryptozoological Curiosities Wrangler"
which is to say "Sewing Bits Of Incogruous Animals Together And Claiming They Are Freaks Of Nature And/Or Australian Wonderbeasts"
December 29 2013, 06:34:17 UTC 3 years ago
I see that someone else has already applied for a job as a Tarot reader. Probably just as well; while I'm often quite good at it, doing it for money makes me uncomfortable.
So instead I'll be the mechanic/technician who keeps all the rides and other machinery working, the "Scotty" for the Starship Midway. I seriously do have an uncanny rapport with machinery of every kind, and can often make it do things it was never designed to be able to do. I have the most fun working on devices that create special effects for the performers... smoke and mirrors doesn't even begin to cover it...
December 29 2013, 06:37:36 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 06:38:31 UTC 3 years ago
I'd like to apply for the job of Cotton Candy Soothsayer! I shall sculpt delicately sweet creations out of multi-colored fluff that may or may not predict your future. A gavel for the young lady there! Will she be a judge, or will she be a criminal? Who knows? This young man gets a fish! Will he win this week's fishing derby or be swallowed whole by a halibut? Only the fates know! A dove for the sweet couple! Wedding in the future, or should they be watching overhead for unexpected "blessings" from above? Either way, the future is sweet with my fluffy psychic treats!
December 29 2013, 06:58:19 UTC 3 years ago
I will be the copy cat, a person shows me something they can do and I copy it in the same way.
December 29 2013, 07:27:06 UTC 3 years ago
Sol-merchant. I'll buy and sell any kind of Sol -- fish, shoe-bottoms, stellar bodies, and, of course, yours. Does it work? Try it and find out.
December 29 2013, 07:55:13 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 07:55:41 UTC 3 years ago
December 29 2013, 08:13:20 UTC 3 years ago
I don’t apply, I’m just there. I hide in the darker parts of the midway, smiling and watching people as they pass by. I don’t have a sign or catchy pitch to lure you in but I have a hat sitting in my lap. A few coins hide within it but there’s no real money there.
I call you over, gesturing with one hand to get your attention. There’s a smile on my lips and the glint of sharp teeth reveal themselves.
I ask, with a casual air about me, what you think your future will be. You look at me, expression vaguely amused and say “Isn’t that your job?”
I laugh, scoop out the coins, making them disappear into a pocket of an old red leather coat. “I’m nto going to tell you your future, at least not this one.”
Because you see, I’m not fortune teller, I’m a creature that exists between the worlds and sees all the things that could have been. I’m the spider that crawls along the webs of time and space.
“I’m caled a Weaver,” I say flipping the hat onto my head. “And I’m here to tell you of all the people you could have been.”
December 29 2013, 08:20:20 UTC 3 years ago
Just the mild mannered janitor.
December 29 2013, 08:46:26 UTC 3 years ago
Or, as ELP put it: "Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside..."
December 29 2013, 10:30:10 UTC 3 years ago
(USA)
December 29 2013, 10:45:44 UTC 3 years ago
Position: creepycute harlequin dancer/usher. alternatively, fastest-fingered pianist this side of the pond.
December 29 2013, 11:06:34 UTC 3 years ago
I will apply with my freakshow act; a tent hung with silk scarves in a dark rainbow profusion, soft music emanating from within that sounds like otherworldly sirens seducing sailors for their pleasure enticing all comers to enter the mystery that is the pavilion of uncanny dreams... do you dare enter to discover what treasure may lie within or will you back away in terror for your sanity and perhaps your very life?
December 29 2013, 11:28:10 UTC 3 years ago
2. Australia, yes
3. Knife thrower
4. <3
December 29 2013, 12:20:28 UTC 3 years ago
Every carnival has a strongman, though I can't grow a luxurious mustache like many of the old traditionalists sport. Novelty photos of families hoisted on high? The occasional stuck wagon? A cart full of the inevitable piles of elephant effluvia? Hoisted with ease.
Plus, I am a master at crowd-wrangling and line management (for realsie-reals; this is what I do when I work conventions). A pint-sized Fezzik with a stentorian bellow of "HEY, EVERYBODY, MOVE!" is just as effective as the movie would have you believe.
I'll even find an animal-print shift if you insist on it.
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