thoughtful(Not for everyone, naturally. I know people who adore spoilers, and find them an exciting roadmap to what's ahead. I am just as likely to go "welp, that was the greatest hits version of the story, let's go enjoy something new.")
But saying "spoilers are bad" and "spoilers are wrong" seems very...I don't know, privileged? At least to me. I have friends who cannot watch rape. Cannot watch any threat of sexual violence. Cannot handle the use of date rape drugs or other such devices in fiction. I know people who are so severely afraid of spiders that even spiders in movies are not safe for them, or who can't deal with certain forms of bodily harm (eyeballs, sure, but no fingers, no teeth...). Most, if not all, of these people have really good reasons for their fears, and if they don't go around wearing shirts that list them off for your comprehension and enlightenment, that's because it's nobody else's business.
So they seek out spoilers. They look for them everywhere, because a little loss of surprise is worth it for the comfort of knowing a piece of media is safe. I was lucky enough to see Thor 2 early (I love you, Disneyland Annual Pass), and while I refused, for the most part, to be a source of spoilers, one person asked me a very basic "this thing will be triggery for me, does this thing happen" question, and got an answer. Because my desire not to put spoilers out into the world is not stronger than someone else's need for mental peace. I knew why she was asking. Refusing to answer at that point would have been policing someone else's choices, and saying I knew what she needed better than she did.
I will absolutely roll with "involuntary spoilers are bad": I don't want to get spoiled for everything in the universe the second I turn on my computer in the morning. I will roll with "there is a statute of limitations," and while we haven't all agreed on what it is, I stop getting grumpy after a week or so for minor things (it takes longer for big, shocking, "this changes everything" revelations). But we have to remember that for some people, spoilers are safety and self-defense. Spoilers are what makes it possible for them to enjoy media, just like everybody else.
Sometimes, providing spoilers is the only kind thing to do.
December 12 2013, 23:36:43 UTC 3 years ago
As someone who had their Harry Potter 6 experience significantly downgraded by a 3-word spoiler in a student's essay (I really wanted the chance to figure out what would happen as I read, but I will never know whether I would have been savvy enough to get where the story was going), I am a big fan of people not posting spoilers without significant warning.
It was only recently that it occurred to me that sharing spoilers with someone might be important. A few months ago, I lent a book to my mother. It features a character with a disability very similar to one that a family friend of ours had. She passed away recently, at least partially due to that disability. My mom hasn't read the book yet. When I lent it to her, this friend was still alive and well. So now, there are parts of the story that might be really hard for her to read, but this character doesn't appear until the latter part of the story, and I didn't want to spoil huge parts of the story for her. So I was torn as to how much to tell her. (I settled for, "there's going to be a difficult part for you to read. I don't want to spoil it, but you'll understand when you get there, and I want you to know that you should keep in mind that it all works out in the end." Which may end up being a spoiler in and of itself. Oops.) But it did get me thinking about when sharing spoilers might be important.
I think that part of what it comes down to is a key point you made: Spoilers should be okay as long as there's *consent*. If someone says, "Can you tell me if X happens," then they have consented to being spoiled in regard to that plot point. If someone says, "you should always warn me if Y appears in a movie," then they have consented to being spoiled. If you know someone has a trigger, and you saw a triggery scene in a movie, then it may be a good idea to say, "listen, I know you have this trigger, and there's this scene that may be triggery. Do you want to hear more about it? It's a spoiler, but I'll tell you if you want to know."
So thanks for getting me thinking about all of that.
December 13 2013, 18:17:12 UTC 3 years ago