On spoilers.: seanan

On spoilers.

So Chuck Wendig posted his thoughts on spoilers recently. I agree with many of them. There are entire media empires I have chosen to have no truck with because they were spoiled for me so thoroughly before I could start embracing them, as often through the intent of the people doing the spoiling as by accident. There is a whole subculture on Tumblr dedicated to bootlegging new movies the day they hit theaters, so that the very first spoiler-laden animated .gifs can be created. It can get really, really frustrating. While I understand the joy of having an open and enthusiastic discussion of a thing you love, part of me goes "not everyone can go to every opening night, watch every show the second it airs, read every book in ARC form three months before publication." It's just not possible, and in those cases, spoilers can steal a lot of the joy in enjoying a piece of media.

(Not for everyone, naturally. I know people who adore spoilers, and find them an exciting roadmap to what's ahead. I am just as likely to go "welp, that was the greatest hits version of the story, let's go enjoy something new.")

But saying "spoilers are bad" and "spoilers are wrong" seems very...I don't know, privileged? At least to me. I have friends who cannot watch rape. Cannot watch any threat of sexual violence. Cannot handle the use of date rape drugs or other such devices in fiction. I know people who are so severely afraid of spiders that even spiders in movies are not safe for them, or who can't deal with certain forms of bodily harm (eyeballs, sure, but no fingers, no teeth...). Most, if not all, of these people have really good reasons for their fears, and if they don't go around wearing shirts that list them off for your comprehension and enlightenment, that's because it's nobody else's business.

So they seek out spoilers. They look for them everywhere, because a little loss of surprise is worth it for the comfort of knowing a piece of media is safe. I was lucky enough to see Thor 2 early (I love you, Disneyland Annual Pass), and while I refused, for the most part, to be a source of spoilers, one person asked me a very basic "this thing will be triggery for me, does this thing happen" question, and got an answer. Because my desire not to put spoilers out into the world is not stronger than someone else's need for mental peace. I knew why she was asking. Refusing to answer at that point would have been policing someone else's choices, and saying I knew what she needed better than she did.

I will absolutely roll with "involuntary spoilers are bad": I don't want to get spoiled for everything in the universe the second I turn on my computer in the morning. I will roll with "there is a statute of limitations," and while we haven't all agreed on what it is, I stop getting grumpy after a week or so for minor things (it takes longer for big, shocking, "this changes everything" revelations). But we have to remember that for some people, spoilers are safety and self-defense. Spoilers are what makes it possible for them to enjoy media, just like everybody else.

Sometimes, providing spoilers is the only kind thing to do.

autographedcat

December 12 2013, 16:58:45 UTC 3 years ago

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I strongly believe (and have written about extensively) that spoilers are primarily a question of manners.

In the case you cite, you prioritise the general courtesy of "don't ruin the surprise for someone who doesn't want surprises" lower than the *specific* courtesy of "don't let your friend walk into a known trigger". And that's *entirely* appropriate, when you view it through the lens of etiquette.

seanan_mcguire

December 12 2013, 17:04:06 UTC 3 years ago

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beccastareyes

December 12 2013, 17:41:50 UTC 3 years ago

I like that. I've also been known to ask 'do you want spoilers?', even if I don't know the specific person's triggers. Because it puts the decision on the person who might be harmed or annoyed by it: a few of my friends don't have specific triggers, but don't care about spoilers. Others do, and I'm a better person to ask than the Internet*.

* Since a living, breathing person can be a lot more selective. If someone asks 'does this have a depressing or uplifting ending?' I can answer 'yes'/'no'/'sorta' and give as much or little detail as that person wants, without outlining the ending of the story unless requested.

legoline

December 12 2013, 17:48:14 UTC 3 years ago

I generally do that as well. Even with people who aren't half obsessed with films and tv as I am. I just don't want to ruin things for them.

maladaptive

December 12 2013, 19:00:34 UTC 3 years ago

I prefer that, because for me, spoilers are 90% of the thing that gets my interest in the first place. "So in episode 30 THIS neat thing happens..." sells me on something way more than "it's an adorable story of a girl and her pet dog who is actually the incarnation of a god of destruction sent to learn the importance of love!" ...Actually that description might sell me on something but most spoiler-free descriptions of things I love are "these characters are so adorable but I can't tell you why and they have to save the world but that's not important, there's such engaging stuff going on aaaaah." So all the spoiler-free reviews generally don't pique my interest. Like, one of the things that actually put the Toby books on my radar was [spoiler]someone mentioning that she spent a few years as a fish and I was like "wait WHAT? That sounds like my jam."

December 12 2013, 19:18:12 UTC 3 years ago

Yes, that's a good point. I'll often point out things to my friends that I know are strong interests of theirs, or things they have fanned over in the past in other shows/books, which might be spoilery but are payoffs.

(I'm a bit worried now since I'm showing my friends Avatar: the Last Airbender, and the early episodes don't always show that there's Awesome Stuff later, even as they lay the groundwork for the characters. Then again, I've probably spoiled said friends on the thing before they had interest in watching it.)

oneminutemonkey

December 12 2013, 22:09:32 UTC 3 years ago

I'd read the adorable story of a girl and her pet dog if one of them was the incarnation of a god of destruction send to learn the importance of love. Is this a thing? If not, will someone write it?
And I can't decide what's better: the girl as the god of destruction, forced to suffer through high school and the pettiness of teenage girls, or the dog as the god of destruction, getting crated for chewing on the table legs.

jadis17

December 12 2013, 22:55:11 UTC 3 years ago

possibly there is a manga ....Orion...by the same author as ghost in the shell... I read it in high school and the god of destruction was definitely in it though i cant remember much else about the plot.

December 12 2013, 23:31:53 UTC 3 years ago

in the interest of triggery warning/spoilers.
ok went and read the wiki entry and now recall there was some weird fetish stuff in there too. pinup bits. there was a bit with possibly sexual touching of an unconscious person. and some violence.

and really nothing to do with gods of destruction as puppies or teen girls. I think I got bits of it confused with Inu-yasha

marycatelli

December 12 2013, 23:39:06 UTC 3 years ago

We look forward to reading yours. Both of them. 0:)

dragoness_e

December 13 2013, 04:07:04 UTC 3 years ago

Nitpick ahoy: I personally can't call an event that's mentioned in retrospect in the first chapter of the very first book of a series a "spoiler".

Examples: "Rosebud was his sled" is a spoiler for "Citizen Kane". "Legendary media mogul dies and reporters are picking over his legacy like vultures" is not--it's the intro of "Citizen Kane".

elialshadowpine

December 14 2013, 10:11:19 UTC 3 years ago

I do the same thing. That, and with friends whose triggers I know, "there is a thing that is technically a spoiler, but I think you will want to know because it may be triggery, should I tell you or not?" (I really only do this with friends I know *very* well, and I've not yet had a case where I was wrong about telling them. Often, it didn't stop them from reading or watching, but it gave them the heads-up whereas stumbling into it would have just been bad.)

etherealclarity

December 13 2013, 00:31:06 UTC 3 years ago

100% this. I hate - abhor - spoilers as a rule, but I also have a specific phobia, and on occasion friends and family who know about my phobia will warn me about upcoming scenes. In those cases, I am not at all upset that the scene was spoiled for me, just grateful that friends and family care enough to warn me about triggering scenes.

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