As part of the thing that Miley did, however, she wound up grinding her backside (and, due to her position at the time, her genital region) against Robin Thicke's groin while wearing spanky pants made of what looked like flesh-colored vinyl. No one missed a beat when she did this, including Robin Thicke, so I have to assume that it was rehearsed, and was part of the plan for the performance. Again, still not a good thing, but she didn't start throwing in the over-the-top sexual stuff on a whim: MTV approved this. Her backup dancers learned this. Robin Thicke voluntarily did this.
I have now heard three separate people say something along the lines of "Robin Thicke's wife should slap the shit out of her," and "she should be ashamed." What I'm not seeing, though, are people saying the equivalent things about him. It appears that, to many people, Robin Thicke just materialized on stage as an innocent bystander, where Miley Cyrus proceeded to grind on him, and he didn't push her away because he's a gentleman.
I...wait.
I know this is a weird example to use, but bear with me here: this is actually a really good demonstration of how we tend to treat female "characters" in both real life (celebrities, pop stars, people whose lives are turned into narratives by the media) and fiction. Belle stole Brina's boyfriend! Sharon is a skank! Cassandra is a coward! It's always the women who are to blame, and the men around them are blameless. It's not "Brian left Brina for Belle." It's not "Sharon had consensual sex with Steve." It's not "Connor threatened Cassandra's life and family, so she withdrew." We place the full onus for anything we don't like on the female participants, leaving nothing for their counterparts. And it's just not fair.
Miley Cyrus did a thing. Very few people seem to have liked the thing, and that's on her: she should know her audience better than that. But Robin Thicke did not accidentally wander into the performance. If there's blame to give here, it needs to go both ways.
We need to drop the double standard.
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August 26 2013, 18:00:39 UTC 3 years ago
-TG
August 26 2013, 18:01:54 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 18:04:34 UTC 3 years ago
I think they were both acting unwisely, and it was Miley's show, so she probably proposed the things she did to some degree. But he never had to agree to them.
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August 26 2013, 18:08:03 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 18:12:01 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 18:09:30 UTC 3 years ago
Also, to everyone who is getting all up in arms over her performance: chill. It's nothing new. Yeah, it pushes the bounds of good taste, but performing artists have been pushing those bounds for decades if not centuries. Would I have done it? No. But I'm not Miley. She's a grown woman -- if a young one -- and while I think there is room to dump all over her performance AS a performance, I don't think it's fair to say "OMG, SEX!" as a criticism. It's really not okay to focus the pearl-clutching on her and not hit the choreographer, the other performers, and the executives who approved everything that went on that stage.
August 26 2013, 18:12:35 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 18:23:43 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 18:47:47 UTC 3 years ago
But if Thicke's wife is supposed to want to slap the shit out of anyone, shouldn't it be him? He made the choice to be in that performance, he made the choice to make the video that the performance was referencing, and he made the choice to write the song that the video was made for.
And it's especially telling that people just assume that his wife would be upset by the performance (or the video) in the first place. I didn't know he was married (in fact I'd never even heard of him before I heard about the video), but I can't imagine anyone close to him is somehow unaware of his career. The jealous-wife get-away-from-my-man trope is just as much a part of the slut-shaming, just as much a part of the misogyny. Miley is presumed to have done something inappropriate with someone else's man; Thicke's wife is presumed to feel threatened with the fear of losing her man. Because as we all know, we're nothing without a man; we either have to have one and be trying to keep him, or be trying to get someone else's. Poor things are just pawns in our little games.
The whole thing is so gross.
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August 26 2013, 18:35:32 UTC 3 years ago
August 27 2013, 00:23:19 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 18:36:51 UTC 3 years ago
Also disappointed by the number of people who I generally respect making comments about the size/shape/appropriateness of Miley's butt.
(I didn't like the performance, on multiple levels, but as I said on twitter, we can have opinions on it's artistic merit without making comments about her body or slutshaming her.)
August 27 2013, 18:23:30 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 19:03:01 UTC 3 years ago
I think the reaction was a whole lot more pronounced because Miley is, in her own way, a Disney Princess. A lot of people can't get their heads around the fact that she isn't Hannah Montana, and never really was, and that it's massively unfair to expect her to play wholesome her entire life. Had the performer in question been someone who didn't grow up on TV, and specifically on The Disney Channel, we might not be having this conversation.
I do agree that the reaction has been horribly sexist, and that's almost always the case. But I'll include the "almost", because a small counter-example comes to mind. I've seen some of your fans blame Connor for, essentially, trying to seduce Toby into adultery. Which never happened.
August 27 2013, 15:53:53 UTC 3 years ago
I have also heard a lot of parental boo-hooing and castigation of VMA from parental watchdog groups saying they were clearly marketing to children just by having Miley on. What? Since when had MTV been for children? Why would a parent expect the MVA for be G rated suddenly? C'mon parents... do your homework.
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August 26 2013, 19:04:19 UTC 3 years ago
"You get the best of both worlds . . . Tie me up, tie me down, make me laugh like a clown . . . "
Love your idea of the duet album.
August 27 2013, 18:24:36 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 19:29:49 UTC 3 years ago
October 6 2013, 18:43:22 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 20:11:55 UTC 3 years ago
*MEGA HIGH FIVE*
The logic behind that makes no sense. It's okay for a man to sleep with multiple women, but the reverse is somehow wrong? Please. It would better to pick a stance, and then apply it equally to men and women.
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August 26 2013, 19:52:18 UTC 3 years ago
*shrug*
She's trying to change her image. I personally think this was a bad idea, but....
August 26 2013, 22:46:48 UTC 3 years ago
Here's the lyrics.
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August 26 2013, 20:26:12 UTC 3 years ago
I was distracted by how Robin Thicke looked like he was wearing Beetlejuice's suit. What did bother me was her approach to black people as props. I'm not a big fan of Stefani's Harajuku Girls either, and this reheated that concept with an extra dollop of country/southern discord.
August 26 2013, 20:31:01 UTC 3 years ago Edited: August 26 2013, 20:31:47 UTC
ETA - aaaaand if I'd clicked your link. Oh well. :P
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August 26 2013, 20:30:24 UTC 3 years ago
That being said, I've been assuming that Cyrus's choices are actually Marketing demands, since she's legal now and they can Sex Her Up without being arrested, and there's no point to having a female artist without turning the sex up to 11 to get all the 14-to-21 and 18-to-34 boys you can. That is, I assume it's mostly cynical imposition by old men.
August 26 2013, 22:14:19 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 20:59:17 UTC 3 years ago
Because Marketing is always out for the righteous moment, oh yes.
aaaaand, when is Velveteen going to have a new adventure?
October 6 2013, 18:45:12 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 21:05:06 UTC 3 years ago
and now people are complaining about a woman who dared to grind erotically near him?
People are really unpleasantly inconsistent.
October 6 2013, 18:45:24 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 21:24:01 UTC 3 years ago
Plus, if he wasn't in on the stunt, what she did several times over was pretty much sexual assault. Just sayin'.
October 6 2013, 18:45:40 UTC 3 years ago
Ayup.
August 26 2013, 21:31:00 UTC 3 years ago
The criticism of Miley Cyrus I'm seeing, though, is almost exclusively about her appropriating from black culture, which is a legitimate complaint. And that, if I understand the animated gifs I've seen, is also part of the thing she did.
August 26 2013, 23:30:14 UTC 3 years ago
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August 26 2013, 22:19:27 UTC 3 years ago
This happens EVERY SINGLE TIME a female pop star either gets tired of being treated like a child and decides the way to fix that is to up the sexy. Every time. The male pop stars do it too--up the sexy, I mean--but I don't see Justin Bieber getting slut-shamed. There's plenty of hate flying around for him, but slut-shaming isn't on that list. Just think about that.
August 26 2013, 23:29:51 UTC 3 years ago
I wish I could "like" this post!!
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August 26 2013, 22:44:54 UTC 3 years ago Edited: August 26 2013, 22:55:41 UTC
It's not like the VMAs have EVER been the province of choir boys and nuns. I mean, come on, the first VMAs had Madonna humping the stage in a corseted white wedding dress.
And you are totally spot on that people give dudes a pass for this. Robin Thicke's really awful video for his really rapey song has naked girls, but outside of feminist discourse I don't hear anyone batting an eyelash.
October 6 2013, 18:52:12 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 23:14:44 UTC 3 years ago
October 6 2013, 18:52:23 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 23:28:43 UTC 3 years ago
As for her sexualized performance... meh. People are acting like this is the first time they've ever seen anything like this?? I remember the controversy over Madonna performing in lingerie!
October 6 2013, 18:53:13 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 23:37:36 UTC 3 years ago
Amen.
October 6 2013, 18:53:21 UTC 3 years ago
August 26 2013, 23:59:36 UTC 3 years ago
October 6 2013, 18:53:29 UTC 3 years ago
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