Proving ourselves, over and over again.

I suppose I am lucky not to have noticed the 'cred check' phenomenon for myself, perhaps I don't go to enough cons. Strong female participation has always been a part of any fandom or geeky activity that I have been involved with, be it media, comics, gaming, historical recreation, LARP, filk, cosplay or just good old SF. I would think it a loss for there not to be women in my fandoms or for them not to be considered on an equal footing with the males.

My oldest daughter and her group of friends are all into the Marvel Cineverse, manga and anime - to the point that they took extra curricular Japanese lessons. She reads prolifically and writes fanfic and will chat half the night to like minded girls across the world (if she can get away with it). Friends have her down as a possible future SMOF.

My youngest daughter is expanding her reading from child and teen fantasy into manga. She also shows a fondness for weaponry and some basic costuming. I hope to be able to take her LARPing some tome soon, in the meanwhile I've got the first season of Xena for her to watch.

My son, youngest of the three, has only recently discovered the joy of reading, but managed to do the summer library challenge in record time. He's also just discovered Star Wars.

I would hope that should any of them wish to enter fandom in their own right (rather than being dragged along by mum and dad), they would find a welcome and not discouragement from a selfish minority.

"I suppose I am lucky not to have noticed the 'cred check' phenomenon for myself"

I think that it is easy for guys to not notice it, because it's not directed at them. And frequently, it doesn't happen to women who are in the companionship of men (or anybody male-appearing, such as my partner). I've run into it more when I'm alone, or with other women, and usually either in very crowded areas, where nobody else is paying attention, or in areas where there are very few other people. I know women who bring their otherwise-not-all-that-interested male friends or partners along because they get less crap (and frequently, less harassment). The guys that do this are, IMO, very aware they are doing something wrong.

I also do want to share an experience since you mention your kids and cons. I don't know how old they are, so this may not be relevant.

My mom is a huge geek, and especially a Trekkie. I started going to cons with her around age 8. I went to a LOT between 8-14. Mom was pretty laid back, and most of the time, would save our seats for the presentations and panels while I went out through the vendor rooms. I was supposed to be back by a certain time, but Mom generally considered that a con with a significant amount of attending women, including most of the vendor room being women, that it was safe enough she wasn't going to worry. So, I actually ended up talking a lot with various people. (Also: holy crap, the amount of free stuff a kid dressed up in a Starfleet uniform gets...)

I noticed a marked difference in how people behaved towards me when I was young, and considered a child. By the time I was 14 or 15, when the cons started to trail off... well, people treated me different. I was starting to notice the "invading on mah space" attitude from the male fans. I had always felt comfortable and safe, and... I no longer felt that way. And it hurt, though it's taken me years to realize exactly what happened. Because being a kid still, I had no idea.

So, I don't know if your kids are young enough to possibly run into that kind of issue, but feeling pushed out of your childhood fandom because you're now grown up and no longer a kid but are instead a WOMAN is... a special kind of heartbreak.

Oh, damn. The problem of Susan, replayed in modern geek fandom. That's heartbreaking.

I concur. That's tragic.

(The closest I ever got was actually pretty funny. I'd made up some T-shirts for ConJose and brought along fabric pens for authors and artists to sign. The first folks I got to sign were a couple of male artists—one of them Kelly Freas!—and neither one had a problem. After that, all the males I asked got this weird look in their eye, as though signing a shirt ON MY BACK were crossing into a dangerous zone. (M. Kaluta even said, "This is the most erotic thing I've ever done at a con.") All the female authors and artists, to the contrary, did what I'd hoped for when I made the shirts; they acted like someone had just told them they were rock stars. It had simply never occurred to me that doing that as a woman would cause concern.)