Proving ourselves, over and over again.: seanan

Proving ourselves, over and over again.

Someone commented, in reading the responses to my "stop checking my credentials" post of yesterday, that it was somewhat distressing how many people seemed to feel the need to go "yeah, I may not X, but I Y, I Z, I A B C D I am an alphabet I am a geek don't dismiss me." And it is distressing. It distresses me. I am distressed. Because I do the same thing when my credentials are challenged in an area that I can't match: I start rattling off things I do know, waving flags that prove my geekdom like I was going to be thrown out of the club. I can't stop myself. I think many of us can't. It's distressing to me, not because it makes us collectively a bunch of braggy over-achievers, but because it represents how many times, collectively, we have had our right to exist in our own spaces challenged.

The first challenge is met with confusion. The second with contention. The third, and all others, with exasperation and desperation: see me, let me be, leave me alone, allow me to exist.

Every cred check, or even shadow of a cred check, is starting to lead to this defensiveness: we're not looking for common ground anymore, we're just looking for the right to keep the ground we already have. And there's the concern that this is going to start driving new female fans away, because all the women who are already there have these laundry lists of "I am a fan because I ________," and some of them are just like "uh, I watch some TV shows?" That's not good. We don't want to lose the next generation of female fans, both because they have a right to this ground, too, and because it would show the cred checkers that they can win: push us hard enough and we go away, or at least stop coming, which can look like the same thing.

I don't think the laundry lists are going to go away. They're bruises, left from being hit too many times, and bruises don't heal instantly. But we should be aware of why the bruises are there, and promise each other not to cred check.

You are safe here. No matter what kind of geek you are, or whether or not I understand your passions.

This ground is yours.

dostehseh

August 2 2013, 04:41:00 UTC 3 years ago

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Has this been posted yet?! I just saw it on Facebook and was all, "OMG WTF HOW FITTING."

B.e. Sanderson

August 2 2013, 16:37:09 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you. I was just about to post this - if no one else had.

pegkerr

August 3 2013, 14:00:18 UTC 3 years ago

I was, too!

kimuro

August 2 2013, 19:02:19 UTC 3 years ago

Tweedle.

My reaction was OMG YES! (Wish it were possible to read ALL of the signs, though.)

seanan_mcguire

October 17 2013, 15:21:37 UTC 3 years ago

It is a fine thing.

dragoness_e

August 2 2013, 15:36:21 UTC 3 years ago

Maybe it's my stunning lack of social skills and/or general obliviousness, but it never occurred to me that questions about a fandom were more than geek discussion of a common topic of interest. And if they were, why should I care? Unless the dude is paying for my ticket and transportation, he doesn't get any say in whether I attend a con and enjoy it. I bought a membership, I have every right to be there.

(Or as we used to say in certain MMORPGS, "when you pay my $14.95/month, you get a say in my playstyle. Until then, shut up.")

October 17 2013, 15:21:53 UTC 3 years ago

(Ha!)

saoki_in_dreams

August 2 2013, 19:22:26 UTC 3 years ago

I don't really like to explain myself to strangers, so my usual response to cred checks is kinda agressive, as in "What is your problem, dude?" or, when met with disbelief ("You write comics? But you're a giiiiiiirllllllll."), "Do you have a problem with that?".
Buuuuuut...
I once punched a guy in the face because he said I couldn't possibly know how to do that, since I'm a woman.
I trained kung fu for 4 years. He fell over (it wasn't a knock out, though. He was just that weak).

October 17 2013, 15:22:10 UTC 3 years ago

Hee hee hee.

hoppytoad79

August 2 2013, 19:41:58 UTC 3 years ago Edited: August 2 2013, 19:47:51 UTC

I found this video titled 'Nothing to Prove' through Upworthy.com today. Rock on, girl geeks!

And one on fake geek girls

October 17 2013, 15:22:17 UTC 3 years ago

Yup.

ironed_orchid

August 3 2013, 11:08:37 UTC 3 years ago

I am geek. I contain multitudes.

October 17 2013, 15:22:30 UTC 3 years ago

Best slogan is best.

ladymurmur

August 3 2013, 18:17:24 UTC 3 years ago

I just don't get the cred check phenomenon. We're geeks because we really, really like something. When you really, really like something, you want to share it with others. Even overshare. Because shared joy is multiplied. Why the bleep would you ever want to exclude someone from liking the thing you like? It simply does not compute. When I find out that someone doesn't know about thing X that I like, my impulse is to expose them to it - not deny it from them!!!

October 17 2013, 15:22:40 UTC 3 years ago

I don't either.

nekohitori

August 4 2013, 16:04:32 UTC 3 years ago

I find myself not coming up with a "I'm a geek because X, Y, and Z," but rather I think of different variations of a "I refuse to be geek-cred checked" speech. Luckily enough, I've never come across that particular experience.

ps: Have you seen this video?

http://www.upworthy.com/some-geek-boys-called-these-geek-girls-fake-they-certainly-wont-be-making-that-mistake-again-7?c=fea

October 17 2013, 15:22:53 UTC 3 years ago

Yup!

ebenbrooks

August 6 2013, 20:04:19 UTC 3 years ago

Inspired partly by this post and partly by the Doubleclicks' video, I wrote a filk to the tune of "Eppie Morrie" about this subject. The lyrics can be found here: http://ebenbrooks.livejournal.com/506561.html

I hope that someday I'll get to play it for you in person. :)

October 17 2013, 15:23:03 UTC 3 years ago

Awesome. :)

Brava

semiotic_pirate

August 9 2013, 19:31:08 UTC 3 years ago

It always seems too much of a hassle to try and prove myself to the cred checkers. They get a Jedi Hand Wave accompanied with a "Whatever" b/c it's more important to enjoy what I'm there to see. It does, however, grate a lot and simmer under my skin for a while afterward that someone else felt the need to do a cred check in the first place. The worst of it, for me at least, is the fact that cred checking doesn't stop once you are out of the convention environment - it happens in every space that a mansplainer feels that it is necessary to occur.

October 17 2013, 15:23:16 UTC 3 years ago

Sad but true.

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Proving ourselves, over and over again.

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