Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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You can check my credentials if I can check yours.

So it's been a little more than a week since my glorious return from the San Diego International Comic Convention, where I saw cool things, met cool people, and learned that "Hell" is another word for "being on the SDCC exhibit floor in a wheelchair." I also contracted a horrific cold, and have been fighting my way back to the semblance of health, which is why my relative radio silence on the subject. But that's neither here nor there: that's just framework and excuses. Here's what happened.

Leading up to SDCC, basically every woman I talked to expressed the fear of being "cred checked" at least once. The fake geek girl may not be a real thing, but her shadow is long, and since people started claiming to have seen her, the rest of us have been accused of being her with increasing frequency. She is the geek urban legend, the prowling, predatory female who's just there to take up precious space/time/swag with her girly girlish girliness, and she's like The Thing From Outer Space—a creature with no face and every face, AT THE SAME TIME.

I attended SDCC and similar shows for years before anyone said "Gasp! Some of these geek girls ARE TOTALLY FAKE!" and I started getting my geek credentials checked. Since that began, I have been forced to defend my knowledge of horror movies, the X-Men, zombie literature, the Resident Evil franchise, Doctor Who, and My Little Pony.

Let's pause a moment and just think about that. Men—adult men—have asked me to defend my knowledge of and right to be a fan of My Little motherfucking Pony. My first fandom, the fandom that is arguably responsible for getting me into epic fantasy (not kidding), the franchise that I have publicly credited with teaching me how to plot long-term. A franchise that was, at least originally, aimed exclusively at little girls who enjoyed ponies and hair-play. I think that all fandoms should be for everyone, and I love that My Little Pony has finally found a male audience, but are you kidding here? Are you seriously telling me that the second men discover something I have loved since I was four years old, I suddenly have to pass trivia exams to keep considering myself a fan? Because if that's the way things are going, I want to hear the Sea Pony song right fucking now.

Ahem.

Most of the female fans I know have expressed concern about this credential checking, in part because who the fuck wants to have to take a quiz when you're standing in line waiting to get Chris Claremont's autograph? I mean, really. And there's always the possibility that you'll fail the exam, and a) many of us have deep-seated test anxiety, courtesy of the American school system, and b) no one likes being bullied. Telling me I'm not a real geek because I can't name the members of the Justice League (spoiler: I can't, I don't read DC) is bullying. It's offensive and it's upsetting and it leaves me feeling like a faker, even when I'm not. Even when I'm demonstratively not.

And this "you're a fake, you have no right to be here" routine is almost universally directed at women. I see these women in these incredible costumes that took hours to make and will cause chafing and shin splits and lots of other discomforts, and then I see them getting mocked for being "fake" by men in jeans and hero logo T-shirts. Captain America probably doesn't like you making fun of women, good sir. Just saying.

Then, this year, I saw something wonderful. I was crossing the floor with Amy when we encountered a tall blonde dressed as Emma Frost. I will always stop and admire a good Emma—it's in my genes—so we paused to study her costume and tell her how amazing she looked. She saw the name on my badge and lit up.

"I was hoping to run into you!" she said. "I remembered that you love Emma!"

One of my fans dressed as Emma Frost and she did it for me.

I have never felt so much like a rock star.

We stayed and chatted with her—because let's face it, you dress up as Emma Frost to make me happy, you have damn well earned some chatting with—and she confessed that she had been cred checked not long before. "I said Emma was both the White Queen and the Black Queen," she said. "Was that right?" I started explaining the Dark X-Men. While we were doing that, a man with a camera came up and started taking her picture without asking permission. She stopped talking to us, turned her body slightly away from him, held up her hand, and said, "You can't take my picture unless you can tell me who I am."

She was dressed as a very iconic Emma: all in white, with the half-cape connected to a semi-corset top, white boots, and a white "X" logo on her belt. She had small snowflakes on her collarbones, representing Emma's transformation. She had the white choker. She had the blue lipstick. Basically, if you have any familiarity with Marvel, you would recognize her, and since that version of Emma has been on literally hundreds of comic book covers in the past five years, even most DC readers should have recognized her.

"Storm?" guessed the man.

All three of us laughed, but uncomfortably, like we were discovering a terrible secret. And while Amy and I stood there, this happened four more times: the unsolicited pictures, the refusal, the incorrect guess. Only three of the men actually stopped taking pictures when told to.

As women, we are afraid of being unmasked as somehow "not geeky enough." Meanwhile, these men, who were clearly just trying to take pictures of a scantily clad woman, not pictures of an awesome costume, can't identify one of the most iconic figures from one of the largest publishers.

I've been saying for a while that the "fake geek girl" thing was a form of harassment: a way of making sure that women in fandom don't "forget their place." But this, more than anything, drove home to me just how big of a double standard it is. As women, we're expected to know enough to "earn our spot," but not so much that we seem like know-it-alls; we're supposed to add attractive eye candy to the proceedings, but shouldn't expect men to stop taking our pictures when asked; we're supposed to worry about not seeming geeky enough, while never worrying whether the men around us could pass those same tests. The mere fact of their maleness is sufficient.

There was something beautiful about seeing the fake geek girl check flipped back in the other direction, but there was also something profoundly sad about it, because it illustrated just how deep this divide is growing. We're all geeks. We need to have respect for each other, in all ways—no taking pictures without asking, no shouting "Emma!" at a cosplayer and then saying "See? I told you she knew who she was dressed as" when she turns around. Just no.

It needs to stop.

(And if you were that Emma, drop me a line, hey? I never did get your name, and you were awesome.)
Tags: comic books, contemplation, geekiness, post-con
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I am a geek,a nerd, and a fan of many things. All of my deep knowledge is reserved for my day job (history prof), my music, and to a lesser extent baseball - not the shows I watch and the books I read. I couldn't answer any quiz about any superhero ever. Here are two points:

1. I'm still a geek, a nerd, and a fan.
2. No one has ever asked me, because I'm male.

That anyone might have the gall to question anyone's fandom drives me batty. Who cares? We enjoy things. This is the good.

That it's so powerfully gendered just infuriates me.
That it's so powerfully gendered just infuriates me.

Me, too.

lollardfish

3 years ago

mariadkins

3 years ago

gregory_lynn

3 years ago

I wouldn't know Emma Frost from Big Barda, but I still think this is cool. :)

-The Gneech
And you would never just start taking pictures of a woman without consent, so you would have passed with flying colors. :)

the_gneech

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

the_gneech

3 years ago

Alana Lee Rock

3 years ago

*cries*

That's a wonderful story.

It's never actually happened to me...I think mainly because I don't attend the large gen cons...but I feel more anxiety than I should about possibly being called out as a fake. (I was going to ramble on here, but I think I've got a thing of my own brewing...)

Anyway.

I will SEE YOU SOON! <3
... I am pretty sure it has happened to me, if not at cons than at gaming events. But I can't give you any examples because it is part of the background noise of my existence. It is so common - it was common long before the "fake geek girl" flap a year ago -- that it is literally not noteworthy, not worth the trouble of remembering. it happens and I go on and don't think about it, because that's just the way the world is.

It is kind of heartening to have people questioning now whether that's the way the world should be. I mean, it's a start at least.

tibicina

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

Christ. I was taught that was basic camera etiquette -- ask before snapping. Especially since the cosplayer will usually pose and face the camera for you AND it gives you a chance to tell someone that their costume is fricken awesome (and to ask if you have no clue who they are but it is still an amazing costume).

Also way to show a double standard, con population. The woman in the fabulous costume is responsible for knowing her character's entire backstory*, but the men trying to sneak photos don't even have to recognize the character beyond '... probably a Marvel mutant?'.

* Most of my cosplay has been anime characters, which makes it easier, as long as we don't get into manga versus anime versus light novels versus 'what the hell even happened in the Utena movie'... often fans do know their entire character backstory, but they shouldn't have to. I've loaned costumes out to friends so they'd have stuff to wear and they will just have a general idea of who their character is, but they might be far more of a gamer nerd than an anime nerd.

(Seriously, I once loaned my friend my Amelia costume because she couldn't sew that well and didn't have a costume for the local anime con, and I had extra. My friend mostly knew Slayers from a few random episodes and friends' fangirling, but if you asked her to break down the characters in Fire Emblem (any of them) by stat growth, name all 151 original Pokemon, or sketch the Summers family tree, she could do that in her sleep.)
I agree: there should be ZERO obligation to know your costume's entire back story. And photographers should ask before snapping. Let's see if we can make these rules standard, shall we?

beccastareyes

3 years ago

Also, I hate that I can't like ANYTHING without being expected to know all the tiny details of it. I can be a fan of Star Wars without knowing the canon that didn't pop up in the movies. I can be a Star Trek fan and still dislike Deep Space Nine (seriously, can't get through more than one episode at a go). I spent two years fawning over Fullmetal Alchemist before being introduced to Brotherhood. And for some reason, that lumps me into the category of "fake" or "not really a fan." I mean, there are definitely things I am obsessed with, and most of those I can tell you every last living canon/not-exactly canon but widely accepted fan canon of. But I shouldn't have to feel that way about everything in my life. I don't have the time, for one, and it's unfair to expect it.
Exactly. This this this.

And it doesn't even matter what your reasons are. If it's that you don't have time, or you just don't feel like getting that deep, or a space station once bit your sister. Or no reason at all.

Even your reasons why you aren't as deep into that fandom as someone else don't have to be "good enough" for anyone but you.

herefox

3 years ago

tuftears

3 years ago

the_gneech

3 years ago

rowyn

3 years ago

linfer

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

So it isn't really a geek-cred check, its a whats-that-gurl-doing-here check?
Sigh. Hello safe space, it's been nice knowing you.
Ayup.
First, I'm absolutely delighted that a fan dressed up as Emma for you, and I wish I'd been there just for that, because that is awesome. (And boy howdy, is that ever dedication to your fandom! Hi, I dressed up as something that someone I'm a fan of is a fan of!)

Second, I've been meaning to submit something to the Doubleclicks' awesome "Nothing to Prove" Tumblr that touched on this. Because we get lots of stories of women getting "fake geek girl" checked, and then blowing the checker out of the water by having way more knowledge than he expected (or that he had). By being a woman who's been gaming for 30 years, or an artist who drew all the art for that comic he's holding, or Elizabeth Bear.

I'm a fan, I'm a geek girl, and I would fail most "fake geek girl" checks. I love the things I love, but with most of those things, I don't go as deep as some people. And that's okay too.

Because the phrase "nothing to prove" means literally nothing to prove. The video, and the many posts about this, are filled with geeky women going "look, we exist, just as much as you do, and we always have!" Women who can recite every episode of Star Trek, women who've been playing D&D since 1st edition, women who write SF novels and draw superhero comics and design video games. And that's awesome and necessary, because women are still getting the "girls can't write SF" "girls don't belong in gaming" type of bullshit.

We just also need to remember that geeky women aren't all defined the same way, and don't all have to be the same things, and still deserve a place at the gaming table.
Yeah, my initial thought for that was a photo of me with the Microsoft stuff I worked on, with "I worked on this, get your parents to explain it to you." ;)

erinwrites

3 years ago

vixyish

3 years ago

dostehseh

July 31 2013, 16:56:10 UTC 3 years ago Edited:  July 31 2013, 17:02:03 UTC

This reminds me - right before (or just after, I don't remember) the Green Lantern movie came out, I went to the grocery store, wearing my husbands Green Lantern t-shirt. The guy at the deli eyeballed me when I asked for a pound of whatever, and said, "Do you even know the Green Lantern oath?"

I said, "which one?"

He said, "what do you mean?"

I said, "well, I mean, as Alan Scott said it or as Hal Jordan said it? Although I guess most subsequent Lanterns - if we're going strictly human - had their own little variations of it, too. So, which one?"

He said, "...who's Alan Scott?"

I said, "The first human Green Lantern. But, I'm really not a DC fan, I'm more into Marvel. Can I have a quarter pound of provolone, too?"

He stopped asking me questions. :(

*I should say, that was my first and only time experiencing any kind of Geek Check, 'cause I, sadly, have never attended a convention or any kind of geeky gathering. I didn't even realize what an ass the fellow was being until I got home and recounted the story to my husband, and he was like, "haha, he thought you were just a Ryan Reynolds fan!"
Then you bust out the oath of the F-Sharp Bell Corps and blow his tiny little brain away. Bwahaha.

Though seriously, no one should have to know the oath to wear the shirt. Now, if you're wearing a Green Lantern -ring-, you better know the oath, in case you run into a working battery. That's just common sense.

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

"...Captain America probably doesn't like you making fun of women,.."

Cap doesn't like bullies.

Cap doesn't like bullies.


Well, except in the Mark Millar Ultimates (where he is one) apparently.

Otherwise known as a recommendation from a vendor at my local Comic-Con that I regretted purchasing after I had read it. It had been recommended for my "knows the MCU but doesn't want to play too much catch-up with AU and reboots and 50 gazillion continuities" criteria, and it met that "I could make sense of the characters and universe without flailing" criteria quite handily but was otherwise quite hateful in characterizations and the ways in which it was violent. And this was with me being the sort of person who enjoyed the Kick-Ass movie even.

serge_lj

3 years ago

chaos5023

3 years ago

serge_lj

3 years ago

dornbeast

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

I never remember having this issue when I went to Anime conventions in high school but then again I was a teenager (even douchy nerd dudes have limits...right?) and never scantily clad. With that said, it really is absolutely stupid to demand women to "prove" their geekdom. Especially since there's nothing wrong with NOT being a nerd and NOT really knowing much about these hardcore fandoms and just wanting to go because you heard it's fun and you like some of the shows that are getting panels. There are so many guys like that but it's women who get called out. Like for some reason you, as any person, being at a comic book convention are not allowed to be there if you don't know everything about everything. It's extremely exclusionary for a group of people who grew up bitter and angry about excluded over things.

Which is another thing that bothers me. Growing up being made fun of for something you like and then becoming an adult who harasses other people for not knowing enough about something you like. It's an ugly strange aspect of human nature, that need to feel dominant over someone, especially after feeling a lack of self-efficacy in your own life. Not everyone does this (thank goodness), but I've seen it happen and it's sad.
It is very, very ugly, and I wish it would go away.
I <3 you so much for continuing to fight this fight.

I hate the fake geek girl thing so so so much and I hate that it has started to modify my behavior even more. There is stuff I won't DO anymore that I used to, like play fighting games in public. I'm not a huge fan of the genre--and as a result I'm not great at them--but it uses to be fun to play with friends at the surviving (or reborn) NYC arcades.

But I don't anymore, because I heard too many snickers about how I was trying to fake being a gamer, and I don't like my vision going red with rage I can't express. It's like if I'm going to have any cred as a gamer or any other kind of geek I have to be god tier at EVERYTHING and have encyclopedic knowledge about EVERYTHING even game types I don't really play (like fighting games) and genres of fiction I've never really been interested in (like superhero comics...but even I can tell the difference between someone cosplaying as Storm and someone cosplaying as Emma.)
"There is stuff I won't DO anymore that I used to..."

I don't make female characters anymore in MMORPGs, just to avoid the obnoxious behavior.

aliciaaudrey

3 years ago

rimrunner

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

aliciaaudrey

3 years ago

This really does continue to boggle my mind that it happens (I know it does but...) For one thing at something as wide as comic con or a world con you can totally fail one quiz while still being a terrible geek. I mean if you asked me about any of the major geek things below:
Star Trek
Star Wars
Doctor Who
DC comics

I would almost certainly fail despite being a furry, board gaming, artist geek that could probably go on about trends in fantasy/sci literature for hours until everyone was weeping from boredom.

It's just weird that the fake geek girl thing is even a thing. I'm glad people are speaking up about it and trying to get people to realize just how stupid it is.
Agreed: it's a stupid, exclusionary thing, and I wish it would stop.

You, however, are splendid.
I think this is one of the reasons I've been reluctant to go to anything like that. I'm a geek, but I'm not a super-geek about the things you're "supposed" to be geeky about. I love "Star Wars," but I've only seen the prequels once because they were awful and painful to watch. I can't really get into "Dr. Who," though I've tried a few times. I don't read comic books, though I do dig superhero movies sometimes. I do read a TON of fantasy and sci-fi, but I tend to concentrate on female authors. I also love romance novels, but there's absolutely no geek cred in that whatsoever. I stay away from geeky gatherings because I felt like my geek cred simply wasn't high enough. But with this "fake geek girl" nonsense and so forth, I'm starting to realize what a genderized assumption that is.
THIS. All of this. I'm a geek girl, but I just don't get into stuff like I used to. Now, back in my Pern days, I could quote geneologies of dragons and such, but these days, I just like writing original fiction and playing with my kids. I watch MLP with my CHILDREN (you know, the target audience, young girls?)

I like Dr Who enough to know why it's called that. I have watched a few episodes. I know that there's one Doctor I like more than others. I know I watched it with my Dad *decades* before most of these people even *heard* of it. But I don't get into it, don't know the numbers, etc.

I used to read comics, but my favorite artist died, and I have better things to spend my money on now... like the bills, and gas for my car.

That doesn't mean I"m not a damn geek and don't have every right to stand in line for an autograph from frickin' Nichelle Nichols if I want to.

How about we start running privilege checks?

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

Deleted comment

If you find a rocket propelled grenade launcher, get me one?

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tibicina

3 years ago

This is an excellent post. Would you mind if I linked it and the one about the SFWA in today's blog entry?
http://inkstainedsuccubus.blogspot.com/2013/07/because-you-keep-asking-that-question.html

I'm talking about women in SF/F/H and the rise in the He-Man Woman Haters Club attacks on us.

I've never been cred-checked at a con. One of my daughter's boyfriends tried it on me after she'd been talking about what a geek I was. "How do you make the Kessel Run in Less than 12 Parsecs?" I asked if he wanted the 1977 explanation, the fanon explanation which I prefer or the EU retcon explanation.

I wonder if cred-checks are a form of lookism as well. Middle-aged, tall and fat is wallpaper to most fanboys. I look like their mom so they don't notice me.
Sure! Go ahead.

And it absolutely is.

valarltd

3 years ago

Seriously??? I'm a DC girl and I would have recognized her as Emma in an instant. How can you ever have walked into a comic shop in the past 20 years and not know who Emma Frost is? And if you have no clue who she is - you Really Should Not be taking pictures of her costume. (Though from your description, I'd love to see it.)

And I do not at all understand the whole "fake geek girl" phenomenon. Fandom is a place where misfits and outcasts come, to have a place where they belong. How DARE anyone question another person's right to be there? I'm a book geek, but I don't tell the TV geeks and movie geeks and gaming geeks they can't be there, because fandom welcomes all geeks; the only price of admission is recognizing that all geeks are equal. What makes these neanderthals think they have the right to change that? Especially when a lot of them probably hadn't even learned to read yet when I was chairing a convention. Grrrr. (...oh wait, is that where "geek grrrls" comes from?)
And if you have no clue who she is - you Really Should Not be taking pictures of her costume.

Well, or you should ask first. I mean, I have no problem with people going up to someone else at a con and wanting to photograph them just because their costume looks so cool, even if they have no idea who they're dressed as.

It's when they engage in the rudeness of "photograph the hot babe" without even *speaking* first, let alone asking permission, that I feel no compunction about the subject shooting rudeness right back.

vettecat

3 years ago

wendyzski

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

Deleted comment

Yeah, I was never a "real" goth girl but I like to dress up. Some people took that as an affront to their "culture" or that I was making fun of them. No, I'm just multi-faceted:) Leastaways that's what I always said.

Deleted comment

themysteriousg

3 years ago

Deleted comment

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

elialshadowpine

3 years ago

Deleted comment

elialshadowpine

3 years ago

I'll just leave this here:

That was AWESOME!

drave117

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

It totally needs to stop. Still, you have the perfect riposte: "I've won a Hugo. What have you done?" [/snark]

(This is just because I'm still happy you've got a rocket ship on a pretty base.)
Sadly, a Hugo does not always help. I am in a fandom where I cannot get invited as a guest to the two conventions for the show I wrote a book about, but all the male fan writers have been guests for decades.

graydown

3 years ago

thedragonweaver

3 years ago

theunshaven

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

thedragonweaver

3 years ago

Stuff like this makes the social anxiety in me go sky high. Do you have any idea how hard it is/was for me to walk up and talk to you (the nicest author i've ever encountered) at the last Snake Oil show? Despite having been to a couple previous signings. Despite you being nothing but kind, every.single.time. Despite you remembering who I am most of the time? Despite my friend saying 'you having been dying to come you must say hi!" and so forth?

And some jerk, who's not even you (or whatever author/event/thing) , could make me feel as if I don't have the right because I'm not nerdy enough? I have to get through all my crap and you are going to question my right to fandom?

All that being said, even though I know I would *love* to attend a con just to walk around and look; knowing that I love to dress up; knowing that I do know a few things really well and embrace most everything with gusto; and that I just checked off that I'd read 51 of NPRs scifi/fantasy novels I would never dare call myself a full on geek because I know I'd be questioned and not liked and rejected because that's how my anxiety manifests.

And for what? To make people feel bad? Reminds me of the BBT episode where Penny calls the boys on bullying Zach. Why is there an innate need in so many of us to bully? Why? I've always just been happy to meet someone who likes the things I like and don't even need deep conversation. Sometimes just "ZOMG you get it!" is enough.

Bah. I'm glad you, and so many others, are trying to turn this standard out.
I do not know how hard it was, because I am not you, but I am very glad you did. And you are always, always welcome in any space that I am "hosting," and I will always be glad to see you.

Always.
Believe it or not, I actually had a male friend who said he was out one day with a Marvel bag. Someone tried to check his geek/nerd cred by asking him if he even knew who the Silver Surfer was (by pointing, not actually naming Silver surfer or Norrin Radd). I honestly can't believe people do this.

I've been a comic fan most of my life. I can tell you every Robin in order (I can also, with a tad bit of effort now, list every Sailor Senshi from Sailor Moon in order and explain why Sailor V is not another name for Sailor Venus, but that's beside the point). I can tell you the first multi-title crossover of all comicdom and who caused it (It's Zatanna's Search.. as Zatanna Zatara searches for her missing father, Giovannni "John" Zatara). I'm a guy and I look nerdy as hell. Nobody has ever tried to check my geek cred, but if someone did, I'd tell them pretty much to go screw themselves. Because seriously, it doesn't matter. You're at a con. You may be a brand new comic fan. That's COOL! We need more of you. The comic fandom should want you to feel comfortable and want you to learn more. We, comic fans, should be ready and willing to answer any question you have.. even if we, the comic fandom, think that it's a dumb/stupid question (because it's not.. Comics can be damn confusing). That's how *I* feel about things. I'm a fan of Transformers, but I can't name them all. I'm not that big of a fan. Same with My Little Pony. I've had them, I like the show, but don't ask me to name background pony #12. I don't know. (Funny tho.. I've had people put up random pictures of DC or Marvel comics and I can name everyone in the picture.. Yeah..).

Anyhow, on another note.. DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION! It's rude. It's also disgusting when you post pictures of just people's body parts (male or female, tho it tends to be just female). Also, if you're going to do the "sexiest cosplayers" at a particular con.. THEY CAN'T ALL BE WOMEN. Guys can be sexy too. Sure, give a shout out to the pretty ladies who worked hard on amazing costumes and rock a great bod, but there are guys who have done just the same and deserve recognition too. Show both, acknowledge both.

Geekdom is frustrating. We've been picked on by society as a whole and pop culture LOVES making us look stupid/anti-social/ect. We need to stop doing it to each other. Admitting you don't have the first issue memorized of every character in the history of comics is NOT a bad thing (because seriously?). Being able to recant the entire line-up of a team or history of a particular character (especially when things have happened then haven't happened then maybe sorta happened but not the way you think they happened) is impossible. Don't expect anyone to know it. Also, if you're taking pictures of people in cosplay, it's kinda nice if you know who they are (except B'wanna Beast.. I can get not knowing who he is.. but there was an awesome B'wanna beast cosplayer at SDCC in the pictures I saw).
Geekdom is frustrating.

Word.
Right, though I may not technically have this authority, I would like to apologize for any guy who has been rude, disrespected, or done a cred check on any one at any con. The purpose of the cons is for fans (of all levels of fandom) to come and have fun. I would have probably not been able to tell If she was dressed as Emma Frost or Jack Frost. Even if I knew full well who she was supposed to be, I would have asked permission to take a photo. I used to be a huge comic nerd, then life got in the way, and now as an older guy I still like the comic books, hero movies, fantasy stories, and horror flicks, but could I tell you every detail of them, no. Does that mean that I am not a fan and not worthy to be at a con? No. People who think that the cons are only for the elite nerds/geeks/cosplayers (if there is such a thing) are really missing the point.
Thank you.

And you are always welcome, and always worthy.
So I sort of was a fake geek girl. When I was about 11, I noticed that a lot of the smart cute boys, especially a particular one, liked SF/Fantasy and RPGs. So I decided that I would like those things. Now, said particular boy outgrew such things when he was about 15, whereas I, now nearly 40, have gone on to be able to leverage my GM and game design skills into featured guest spots at conventions, and have now probably been GMing longer than many of those who might question my creds have been alive. I stuck with it.
Well, except that you got into it because of a particular boy but stuck with it because you liked it. That makes you real. (For goodness sake, a boy who got into art, or music, or writing, to impress a girl but stuck with it because he liked it would be a real artist or musician or writer. Why NOT you?)

catnip13

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

Wow! I must be out of touch. I never knew this was an issue. Still this sounds so stupid. First, Conventions want to sell tickets and don't really care who they sell to. Second, many people get their first in-depth experience at cons, especially big cons. Often they come as dates or spouses and then learn to appreciate the geekier side. Third, there are people who only come for one aspect of a con, people who are very specific in what they want to see. It might be Twilight fans who just have to see that new trailer, it might be person who came to buy that limited addition My Little Fucking Pony that is given away free at Comicon.
Where would stupid behavior like this end? What if there is a kid from Make a Wish, a big fan of Bruce Campbell but nothing else at Comicon. Should that kid be put through a grilling to prove he is geek enough? Would you keep celebrities out unless they name their kids Kal-el? With all the stereotypes about geeks never being able to get a girl, you would think even the most socially limited individuals would welcome women to cons with open arms (and hopefully not in a skivvy way). Disregard the idiots and please come to conventions, I enjoy having people there and introducing them to other aspects of geekiness that I enjoy and learning from them (okay, not My Little Fucking Pony, but you get the idea).
For-profit cons want to sell tickets and probably mostly don't care who they sell to, but fan-run cons do care to varying extents. I mean, at the least, they want interested, active participants. They're building a community and need volunteers to keep it going. It's not about making money, it's about having enough money to continue holding the con and to keep making it better. Some have an attendance cap and not necessarily for space reasons.

A fan-run con somehow filled with fake geeks of any gender wouldn't last very long.

vixyish

3 years ago

seanan_mcguire

3 years ago

Honestly, this is discouraging.

Hearing about this so often, I wonder: Is it worth it? Geekdom is supposed to be fun, and apparently I can have much more fun with my geekdom on the Internet where no one needs to even know I'm there, and ... is that what the geek world has become? We're still wallflowers hiding in our rooms just so that we don't get bullied, but this time, it's the geeks that are trying to kick us out?

Little Miss Nonconfrontational is finding this less attractive by the second. This is not what geekdom was supposed to be for.
No, it is not.

But we will change it, because we want you to be safe here.
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