Sometimes sexuality doesn't have to matter, it just has to exist.: seanan

Sometimes sexuality doesn't have to matter, it just has to exist.

A few months ago, I got an email from a reader who had a question she wanted me to answer. I like questions. If they're not spoilery for things that haven't been published yet, I'm generally willing to give them a go. This question, however, stumped me for a little while:

"what is the purpose of Dr. Kellis being gay? It neither adds or subtracts to the story line but is distracting."

Dr. Kellis was gay because Dr. Kellis was gay. I "met" the character in the same scene that everyone else did, when his husband showed up to try and convince him to leave the lab for a little while. He was a man, he had a husband, he was at minimum bisexual, and for the purposes of the story, he was gay. He was a gay scientist. Since he wasn't working on gay science (I'm not even sure what that phrase means), it mattered purely in the sense that when he talked about going home, it was to a husband, and not a wife. I honestly never thought about changing it. While everyone in the world is at least somewhat defined by their sexuality—it shapes us throughout our lives, both in the exercising of it and in the existence of it—I've never felt like it was the be-all and end-all of human experience.

What weirded me out a little, and still does, is that no one has ever asked me "What is the purpose of Character X being straight?" No one has ever called it "distracting" when Velma has naughty thoughts about Tad, or when Toby blushes because Tybalt is commenting on her clothing. Men and women, women and men, it's totally normal and invisible, like using "said" in dialog instead of some other, more descriptive word. It's invisible. But gay people are distracting. (Bisexual people are apparently even more distracting. I've had several people write to tell me that a piece of text in Blackout can be read to imply that Buffy and Maggie had sex, and some of them have been less than thrilled when I replied that there was no implication intended: Buffy and Maggie had sex. Repeatedly. Lots of sex. Lovely sex. They enjoyed it a lot, but Maggie took it more seriously than Buffy did, and Buffy wanted to keep things casual, so they broke up. But before they broke up? They had so much sex.)

For the most part, I let my characters tell me what their sexuality is, once it starts to have an impact on their characterization. I don't write Bob as a gay man and Tom as a straight man and Suzie as a lesbian: I write Bob as a zookeeper and Tom as a ballet teacher and Suzie as a ninja, right up until the moment where they have to interact with someone they'd be attracted to. Sometimes, that's when they tell me what they're into. Since this is all in first draft, I can go back later and clean things up, clarify things to add any additional detail that needs to be there, but I almost never tell them "Oh, no, you can't be gay, it would be distracting. It's not allowed."

(The one exception is with characters who are here to go—the ones created to be slaughtered in fifteen pages or less. They're not all straight, but I have to stop and think long and hard about how I would have felt, as a bisexual teenager, if I had finally, finally encountered an awesome bisexual woman in fiction, only to see her die before she got to be amazing. Sometimes this does result in my reexamining their relationships, as it's also difficult to really form strong character portraits in fifteen pages or less. Anyone who's sticking around for more than fifteen pages is fair game.)

Gay people don't walk around saying "I'd like to have an urban fantasy adventure, I'm gay, I like men/women, let's go fight a dragon" any more than straight people walk around saying "I'd like to go to space, I'm straight, I like men/women, let's go steal a rocket." People is the word that matters here. And yes, being anything other than heterosexual and cis in this world means that you're going to experience different things, and have some different perspectives, but it doesn't inform one hundred percent of what you do. I eat pizza the same way my straight friends eat pizza. I watch TV the same way my straight friends watch TV. I chase lizards...well, I chase lizards in a uniquely singleminded and slightly disturbing fashion, but as I'm not a lizardsexual, it has nothing to do with who I do or do not choose to form romantic relationships with.

Dr. Kellis is gay because Dr. Kellis is gay.

He doesn't need any reason beyond that.

codevixen

June 22 2013, 03:07:12 UTC 4 years ago

New comment

I haven't read the story in question, but you know what, it IS distracting. It is distracting because it is WONDERFUL to see characters in a story just being something non-straight, without it being significant in any way.

seanan_mcguire

June 24 2013, 16:25:55 UTC 4 years ago

That, I can believe.

Hey, Seanan?

griffen

June 22 2013, 03:28:51 UTC 4 years ago

You. Rock. Again.

Just sayin', you know.

June 24 2013, 16:26:04 UTC 4 years ago

Aw.

Thank you. :)

jayeedgecliff.com

June 22 2013, 03:55:42 UTC 4 years ago

Very well said.

Reblogged. definitely worth sharing.

June 24 2013, 16:26:17 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you!

umadoshi

June 22 2013, 04:07:36 UTC 4 years ago

This post gets so many sparkly hearts drawn around it!

I've seen those comments in various places about how people sometimes read Buffy/Maggie as implied or ambiguous, and it confuses the hell out of me. The dialogue doesn't word-for-word say they had sex, but...it still says they had sex. It startles me every time.

...and then I think about how often we collectively fail to hear what living, breathing people are saying about themselves and their lives, and I stop being surprised, but then I'm heartsick and tired. I want to do better, and I want everyone to do better, and I'm grateful to you and creators like you who're putting complex, genuine characters out into the world. The world is better for it. Thank you.

June 24 2013, 16:27:04 UTC 4 years ago

You are very welcome.

acelightning

June 22 2013, 04:46:41 UTC 4 years ago

I've read advice for writers that talks about how to make characters "come to life", or at least be believable as people, by adding details that seem pointless, but give each character recognizable personalities. "Character X rides a motorcycle, dresses mostly in dark blue, drinks black coffee or Stella Artois beer, and loves pistachio ice cream. Oh, and she's female, Asian, lesbian, overweight, and missing two fingers of her left hand." Because in a sane world, a character's sexual preference (etc.) is no more, and no less, relevant to "who they are" than their preference in ice cream.

And I love you for writing as if this is a perfectly normal way to think about people. (Or Fae, or cryptids.)

June 24 2013, 16:27:15 UTC 4 years ago

4 years ago

azurelunatic

June 22 2013, 05:15:40 UTC 4 years ago

My poor dear BFF is baffled when I speak of my characters as semi-autonomous beings, and talk about discovering their attributes, meeting them, watching them make poor decisions, and listening to their snarky commentary from the back of my head. "But you control them," he says, slightly concerned. "They're all in your head. You're the author. Therefore you're in charge."

I don't think he's ever had one of his characters assert themselves like that, and I think somehow he thinks I'm actually in conscious control.

All in my own head it may be, but not under anything like conscious control. I wonder how many of the people asking this question of you have made the same error in their understanding.

June 24 2013, 16:27:28 UTC 4 years ago

Probably lots.

Olivia Youngers

June 22 2013, 05:29:44 UTC 4 years ago

You are amazing and wonderful and this is perfect.

June 25 2013, 15:54:40 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you.

capplor

June 22 2013, 06:24:37 UTC 4 years ago

In other words, "Why give your character any background that isn't totally necessary to the story"

Because it makes good characters. Next question.

hoppytoad79

June 23 2013, 09:04:34 UTC 4 years ago

I know, right? It's totally obvious to me.

hasufin

June 22 2013, 07:08:10 UTC 4 years ago

I noticed that Kellis was gay. It struck me as statistically unusual, but I'm glad you didn't make a point about it, either - there are few things more subversive than just living your life.

What is important. story-wise, is that Dr. Kellis was a commited scientist, and that Dr. Kellis had a home life. Genders are not relevant. I did spare a few thoughts for "Hm. Dr. Kellis is demonized as having caused the zombie plague. Dr. Kellis is gay. Are gays demonized for being responsible for the zombie plague?" but that was never depicted or explored in the stories, and I'm okay with that.

June 25 2013, 15:57:42 UTC 4 years ago

Yeah, his sexual orientation was a lot less important than "accidentally caused the zombie apocalypse" in the eyes of history.

gothrockrulz

June 22 2013, 07:30:14 UTC 4 years ago

The whole bit about lizards is absolute GOLD. I really like how you talk about serious subjects in earnest, but also throw a bit of humor in as well.

If gay characters are distracting, and bi characters are super distracting, I wonder where asexual characters fall in the Hierarchy of Distraction? I'd better research this, because a lot of my characters would probably fall into the asexual category.

julieandrews

June 24 2013, 18:39:38 UTC 4 years ago

Asexual characters wouldn't be distracting at all, because either readers wouldn't notice that aspect or wouldn't believe it. :}

pujaemuss

June 22 2013, 09:09:55 UTC 4 years ago

Brilliantly said and I'd just like to note that, as a bisexual man myself, it was really nice to read a book where a character just happened to be bi and it wasn't there for drama but just was.

Thank you.

PJW

June 25 2013, 16:01:56 UTC 4 years ago

Very welcome.

gwyd

June 22 2013, 09:21:06 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you

June 25 2013, 16:02:07 UTC 4 years ago

Welcome. <3

mathnerd

June 22 2013, 09:31:18 UTC 4 years ago

As one of these mythical bisexuals in relationships with women *and* men, THANK YOU for reminding the world that non-straight folk exist!

June 25 2013, 16:02:19 UTC 4 years ago

It is genuinely my pleasure.

alitalf

June 22 2013, 10:42:22 UTC 4 years ago

In other words, Dr Kellis is just like a proportion of our friends and relatives in RL. I suppose, given the mix of sexual orientations among the people I know, I'd probably find it less realistic if all the characters in a large-ish cast were completely heterosexual. Yes, if you pick a very small group of people, it is quite plausible they all could be heterosexual, but as the size of sample gets larger, this becomes less likely.

OTOH, it is rarely an actual topic of conversation; my (male) relative may have a boyfriend, but having long ago passed through the "How can we eat" and "Why do we eat" phases, the conversation is more likely to center around where we shall all have dinner.

Not having that mix of people in the fictional world would be like having no rainfall in the Lake District (the name is a clue) for a month. It would be a noteworthy occurrence, and might be the plot point on which the story is based.

June 25 2013, 16:02:46 UTC 4 years ago

Precisely my thought.

indigoraven

June 22 2013, 13:46:23 UTC 4 years ago

I love you, Seanan. Not just a little bit, either. Keep on being awesome.

June 25 2013, 16:02:57 UTC 4 years ago

Aw, thanks. :)

ex_naomi_ja

June 22 2013, 14:25:03 UTC 4 years ago

I wish you could hear me applauding this post right now.

June 25 2013, 16:03:03 UTC 4 years ago

I can!

brithistorian

June 22 2013, 14:32:25 UTC 4 years ago

Yet another example of how you keep being awesome! I'm happy to see that at least some writers are working to produce characters who are people, not just cardboard stand-ins for their demographics.

June 25 2013, 16:03:19 UTC 4 years ago

A lot of writers try very hard. It's awesome.

scholarinexile

June 22 2013, 15:07:50 UTC 4 years ago

I found it heartening to see that he was gay and married as essentially a background detail; I like the idea of this being a thing that's simply there, and not something that requires a reason or commentary. In fact, it led me to a question I've been meaning to ask you: In the Newsflesh universe, is gay marriage universally okay in the U.S., or was Dr. Kellis merely lucky to live in California? And did the Rising have any impact on policy in that regard?

June 25 2013, 16:03:50 UTC 4 years ago

At this point, in the Newsflesh universe, gay marriage is universally okay, in part because everyone ran out of fucks to give when the zombies rose.

sparrowpunk

June 22 2013, 15:41:19 UTC 4 years ago

Dr. Kellis having a husband (and the Congresswoman with a wife in one of the Feed books who was just mentioned in passing) made me happy, because they weren't straight, or there to be just _not_ straight. It was just nice to see a bit more diversity than I usually do. Hearing about Buffy and Maggie also made me happy, because after reading about them having such a hard time, it's nice to think at least they had something nice beforehand :)

July 28 2013, 17:48:11 UTC 3 years ago

Yeah, I want them to have been so happy.

klwilliams

June 22 2013, 19:39:52 UTC 4 years ago

I encounter characters the same way you do when I'm writing them. The oddest "character" I encountered though, is my World of Warcraft fighter. WoW is really just a way for me to play dolls (with quests and dungeons and interesting pets). Treviel is an elf female (named based on

mevennen's husband's name), and after a while Treviel made it clear to me that she was actually a transgender male. I'm not willing to pay $25 to change Treviel's gender in the game, but I now think of him as male (and he wears a male elf All Hallow's mask).

July 28 2013, 17:48:44 UTC 3 years ago

Okay, that's kinda awesome.

amanda_nye

June 22 2013, 20:44:50 UTC 4 years ago

Love this :)

July 28 2013, 17:48:52 UTC 3 years ago

shenya

June 22 2013, 22:14:56 UTC 4 years ago

I was distracted, at least long enough to think 'hey cool. Good on you, but it is Seanan, that figures :)'. So good but brief distracted :)

July 28 2013, 17:49:03 UTC 3 years ago

I get that!

gfish

June 22 2013, 22:51:33 UTC 4 years ago

Can we get back to stealing that rocket now? Because I'm still not in space.

July 28 2013, 17:49:18 UTC 3 years ago

I know, honey. I know you're not in space.

I'm sorry.

queenrikki_hp

June 23 2013, 00:06:55 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you so much. People who get to see themselves in fiction all the time never think about what is like to never have a character that's like you. I am a Black, socialist, bisexual, agnostic woman who lives in Alabama. I spend my whole life surrounded by people who tell me that everything I am is wrong; I don't need to see the same thing in fiction. So many other people have said this but representation matters. And acceptance matters. From all sides (I remember feeling kicked in the gut while reading an essay from a gay writer who said that bisexuals were just gays who were too afraid to admit it). There shouldn't have be a reason for a character to be something other than white, straight and male.