Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: thoughtful
  • Music: Nick Cave, "Wide Lovely Eyes."

Being as honest as I can.

I did a Reddit AMA ("Ask Me Anything") last week. It seemed to go well; lots of people asked me lots of questions, and some of them were questions I had heard before and some of them were questions that were totally new, and I typed answers until my hands actually started to cramp up. Yes: I took stress damage from a website, because it was that active, and that much fun.

Toward the end of the session, someone asked a question that I've heard before, in a variety of different forms. It boils down to, essentially, "Why did you choose to do this thing with which I did not agree?" Sometimes it's about a character dying, or an animal dying, or a character leaving the cast. Sometimes it's about the relationships between characters. But it comes up, again and again, and I keep trying to answer it. During the AMA, I came as close as I think I'm ever going to come to an answer. So here, in modified form, it is:

People ask me "Why did you decide to go that way?" a lot. There's a big assumption in that question, and it's one that's gotten me in trouble before, for answering in a way that someone felt was flippant. So please understand that I am in no way meaning to be flippant: I'm just trying to unpack the way I work.

I didn't decide anything.

I frequently say that my subconscious spends a lot of time lying to my conscious mind, and that's not far from the truth. It's not uncommon for me to write my way into elegant, if unusual solutions, react with surprise, and look back to find a hundred pages of foreshadowing that was right there, if only I'd taken the time to look. Part of me clearly knew what it was doing, and just didn't inform the rest. I think this is because that part of me is the smarter part, and it knows that I over think when given time to do so.

With every death, betrayal, or departure, I reached a point in that story where something needed to happen, and the characters said "This is the thing, this is what is going to happen." I build for characters, not for plot, but still, every time, I've said "You are wrong," because every time, it's been something that I didn't want to do. And every time, the story has said, "They are right," and when I looked back at the story, the signs were there all along. They were there from the very first chapter, sometimes even from the very first page. They are often small, subtle signs. They're not always billboards. But they're always there.

In a lot of cases I've tried to find another way, because I know that if something makes me uncomfortable, it's probably going to make some of my readers uncomfortable, too. But I always stop trying when I realize that any such solution would be overly convoluted...and more, it would be dishonest. I am telling stories. Storytelling is a form of lying, but it's a form of lying used to tell bigger truths. If you start turning the story itself into a lie, if you start forcing the narrative into a shape that isn't natural, it all falls apart. I have to make these lies as honest as I can, or their centers will not hold.

And that is why, no matter who you are or what made you ask this question, I did the thing you didn't like.

I don't regret being honest with the story. It's what I've promised, over and over again, to do. I am sorry that some of the lies I've used to tell the truth have made some people uncomfortable. I think that's a healthy response, quite honestly.

I would still do it again, if that was what the story needed.
Tags: contemplation, writing
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admnaismith

March 27 2013, 18:52:23 UTC 4 years ago


The story. The muse. The subconscious. The creation faeries. There are many different names for whatever inspires you. There's a whole lot of hard work, but sometimes it still seems like you're just along for the ride.

People who challenge an author's plot after the fact bemuse me. Once it's been published, it's set in stone and won't be changed. And it's your story. There's a different story out there somewhere else, where so-and-so doesn't die, and the big threat is resolved differently, and the protagonist pairs off with a different love interest, or no love interest. Sometimes that story's still waiting to be told, maybe by one of your readers who isn't content with the existing stories.. But your story is there, in final form, a thing of beauty and pain and tears and laughter and screams, to be experienced or not as it is.

I'm impressed and delighted at the amount of time and energy you put into replying to comments and other input, even when you're in pain. It's one of the things that sets you above and apart from many others. And I'm glad you enjoy it as much as we do.

brightlotusmoon

March 27 2013, 22:44:59 UTC 4 years ago

Yes, this is what I was going to say. Very much so.
It's why I adore your work so much, Seanan.

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

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mlerules

March 27 2013, 19:05:49 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you for clarifying and expounded upon this point. It's fascinating, and makes sense.

Oh, BTW, I finally sat down and read Midnight Blue-Light Special (even w/out re-reading the first in the series which I've lent to someone so don't have it handy...sigh), and I really enjoyed it very much. Thanks so much for writing as much and as well as you do!

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 01:41:03 UTC 4 years ago

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

scarybaldguy

March 27 2013, 19:20:04 UTC 4 years ago

During the scene with Lois and the barn cats in Feed, all I could think was "No. No. No. NO. FUCKING NO!" I'm an absolute ailurophile* and that scene horrified me more than anything else I'd read before or since.

But like you say, story drives everything. No excuses.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 01:41:48 UTC 4 years ago

Aw, I'm sorry. :( I'm an ailurophile too, and writing it hurt. But it was the natural consequence of that world, and I couldn't let them all go. I did save Lois. At least for a while...

rhoda_rants

March 27 2013, 19:38:24 UTC 4 years ago

I envy your diplomacy in a situation like this. One of the things I love most about your stories is that they're so character-driven. I always read for characters first; plot is secondary.

It's not uncommon for me to write my way into elegant, if unusual solutions, react with surprise, and look back to find a hundred pages of foreshadowing that was right there, if only I'd taken the time to look. Part of me clearly knew what it was doing, and just didn't inform the rest.

That just sounds really cool.

jenfullmoon

March 29 2013, 03:48:16 UTC 4 years ago

Seconded. I am clearly not meant to write fiction because I just don't have that muse thing going on. It sounds like it's a cool thing to have.

Oh well, clearly I was put here to snark on reality instead.

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 01:42:18 UTC 4 years ago

I am! I really am!

klwilliams

March 27 2013, 20:24:47 UTC 4 years ago

I had a character, whom I was quite fond of, explain to me mid-story that she was the bad guy. It really upset me. It took me a couple of weeks to get back to the story. She was right, of course, and I had put the clues in if I had bothered to pay attention, but still. Characters can be annoying.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:34:55 UTC 4 years ago

Whoops!

kaberett

March 27 2013, 20:26:52 UTC 4 years ago

This is painful & beautiful to read; thank you.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:35:06 UTC 4 years ago

You are very welcome.

reedrover

March 27 2013, 20:37:48 UTC 4 years ago

if you start forcing the narrative into a shape that isn't natural, it all falls apart

And with this line, you have totally won my heart. AAAAAAMEN!

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:35:15 UTC 4 years ago

Aw, yay!

mneme

March 27 2013, 21:26:59 UTC 4 years ago

Love this.

Writers have very few responsibilities (as writers, obviously; it turns out that they are also (always, in my experience) people, and therefore have the kinds of responsibilities other people tend to have). But if they don't want their art to be/to espouse evil, they have to avoid writing that follows or pushes that kind of message (rare, but possible). And if they want artistic integrity, they have to write honestly, rather than shy away from that which is implicit in their work.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:35:32 UTC 4 years ago

That's very much how I feel.

groblek

March 27 2013, 21:40:33 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you for trying to explain to us. I think this explains to me why although I may occasionally put down a book of yours and shake my fist skyward, I'm not actually upset with you as the writer. As long as whatever happens is true to the story, I'll accept it even if I don't like it. The authors who I've stopped reading are the ones who throw in character deaths/maiming/etc with no apparent regard to (or sometimes even effect on) the plot.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:35:46 UTC 4 years ago

This makes perfect sense to me.

dulcimeoww

March 27 2013, 21:56:17 UTC 4 years ago

When I was a kid, my father told me one of the most useful things he's ever told me about writing fiction. He told me that plot dictates character and that character dictates plot. The characters are who they are, and when you get right down to it, they'd only ever choose one way. The plot sets up those choices, and the characters make them, thereby shaping the rest of the plot. (The other most useful thing he told me is that no matter how hard you've worked, sometimes you have to throw the words away).

I like when you make me uncomfortable, even when that discomfort comes from wondering how on earth the character missed something so obvious to me, the reader. An example that makes me smile is Tybalt's jacket, scent-marking Toby. You'd think she'd notice, but it makes perfect sense that she didn't. That's the character as written, I wouldn't want her to be someone else, even if for the first four books that frequently left me wanting to shake her.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:36:02 UTC 4 years ago

Yes, exactly!

pujaemuss

March 27 2013, 22:16:40 UTC 4 years ago

One thing that struck me from your answer on that AMA was that it implied that you didn't realise the extent of George and Shaun's relationship until the reveal in Blackout, as you said you were searching for something that wouldn't've been written down. Is that right? In which case, kudos to your subconscious as there was a lot a lot of foreshadowing through Deadline.

I was one of the people who was disappointed by that reveal, as I'm a huge fan of close sibling relationships in fiction, but I completely know what you mean about characters doing their own thing and forging their path regardless of what you have planned.

PJW

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:37:27 UTC 4 years ago

No, I didn't realize the extent until I was outlining Deadline. It was written into the first draft text from that point on, and when I did the final for-pub revisions to Feed, it was made implicit in the text there as well. Every published book in that series was written with the full awareness of what they were to one another, how unhealthy it was, and how absolutely necessary it was to them as people.

Deleted comment

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:37:52 UTC 4 years ago

(It makes perfect sense, and I wouldn't do that either.)

dqbunny

March 28 2013, 00:33:31 UTC 4 years ago

I still view Reddit as something only slightly less scary than 4chan, even though I know Namesake has been up on it once or twice.

And, yes, I agree. The characters are very much the ones to lead you, not the opposite way around. There's a lot that's changed from the beginning of the story (like Selva becoming a major character) that was never in the original outline. The characters just went there.

archangelbeth

March 28 2013, 02:14:21 UTC 4 years ago

*blink*

I love it when people I fangirl at show up in the LJ comments of other people I fangirl at. It's like concentrated awesome in stereo. O:>

dqbunny

4 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

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kouredios

March 28 2013, 00:42:00 UTC 4 years ago

I think this goes a bit to answer the question I asked, too, about how much you plan your endgames in advance. Because you trust your subconscious to do that foreshadowing, and actually go where your story tells you it's going-- in addition to all the preplanning of plot that you do-- this is why, as a reader, I feel like I can trust you. Because if I'm picking up on that foreshadowing, and your story ending up squealing to a halt instead of following it's path, that will be frustrating as a reader, as well. I'm really glad you don't do that.

That, and your refusal to write sexual assault together make you the author I probably trust the most to take me anywhere right now.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:39:05 UTC 4 years ago

This means a lot to me.

Thank you.

cerulean_sky

March 28 2013, 01:23:03 UTC 4 years ago

I find it really horrifying that people ask things like, "Why did you do this thing that upsets me?" because it seems to imply, "You shouldn't have and you shouldn't upset me." I have been upset by things that happen in books before, but I've never felt like the author was doing it to me personally and on purpose, or like it was totally out of place in the story.

It's not the writer's job to please everyone. That's an impossible task. Neither is it the writer's job to not upset anyone. If you genuinely don't like something you're reading, then don't read it.

All of which is to say: when people ask authors things like that, it makes me want to get between them and the author and flail at them til they go away. Honestly. Don't do things which might make the author not want to give the rest of us appreciative folk all these awesome stories.

kaleidors

March 28 2013, 20:42:54 UTC 4 years ago

I think it's not bad to ask that question, depending on how that question is phrased. "Why didn't you do the story my way, the right way," is rather entitled, but, "I wasn't expecting that and while I didn't like it, can you tell me why you went that way?" is not necessarily a bad question. (I think generally speaking though you're going to get the response, "I had to be true to the story," in various forms.)

Asked right, it's about world building; what rules are in a universe, and how that universe works. For instance, Seanan gone on record saying that her characters won't be raped, for very good reasons. So while [spoiler]torture and death[/spoiler] happens to major characters, rape will not. Seanan's has made a point to include lesbian characters in her stories (although I haven't noticed any pointedly transgender or asexual characters in leading roles). I remember reading an interview with McCaffery about Pern being religionless because it was her world and she didn't want a religous world so religion didn't exist there.

These people exist; those people don't. These things are logical outcomes of this world; these things are not. Reflected back on the writers world are the reader's expectations of how the world works really and ideally, and the intersection between them can be fertile ground to examining narratives. Questioning narratives is not necessarily a bad thing; you just have to be respectful of it.

cerulean_sky

4 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

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batyatoon

March 28 2013, 01:56:03 UTC 4 years ago

Yes. Exactly.

If an author knows what's supposed to happen next, and doesn't like it and decides to force something different to happen next, that's essentially ... well, this sounds hyperbolic, but that's killing the story and trying to reanimate its corpse. Put all the words on paper you like; the story's dead.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:41:37 UTC 4 years ago

Yes, EXACTLY.

I like zombies, but not that kind.

umadoshi

March 28 2013, 01:59:02 UTC 4 years ago

The whole AMA was a lot of fun--you gave so many interesting answers! *^^* And I was SO glad to have a place to ask you questions that wasn't Twitter, where there's no way to hide spoilers. So thank you again for that. Sorry to hear that your hands got unhappy, though!

The honesty in your writing comes shining right through, and it's wonderful. I think it's a large part of why these days I snap up anything of yours I can get hold of.

Side note: I recently hooked a close friend up with Discount Armageddon, and she tore through it, so I've ordered her a copy of Midnight Blue-Light Special. ^_^ Verity-as-gateway drug!

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:41:58 UTC 4 years ago

It was super-fun, thank you for having me!

archangelbeth

March 28 2013, 02:17:12 UTC 4 years ago

I have, at one point, had to tell a character, "Look, I need you to do this. Why the heck would you do it?" And then pushed the resulting emotional buttons till it happened... That was awkward, since I was having a hard time compartmentalizing stuff. I think I'm more at peace with the shoving now...

It's sort of like when GMing, where you figure out which way the PCs are going and lay railroad tracks in front of them frantically, so they don't realize that they're forging ahead instead of following what passed for the plot you'd intended at the start.

I hope your hands get better quickly!

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 15:42:08 UTC 4 years ago

They're fine now. :)

everstar3

March 28 2013, 03:03:12 UTC 4 years ago

One of my favorite things about your writing is that when your characters die, it never feels gratuitous or cheap. I'm not saying it never hurts, but I never feel like you're killing a character just to make me think, "OMG, the stakes are really high!" And I really appreciate that the deaths have consequences and people react to them, that everything isn't all better by the next book.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 16:36:29 UTC 4 years ago

:)

Thank you.

lacrimation

March 28 2013, 03:36:14 UTC 4 years ago

^^^ This. I understand getting attached to characters. But, being personally mad @ the author is insansey!

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 16:36:37 UTC 4 years ago

Yeah, it's weird.

scholarinexile

March 28 2013, 05:02:04 UTC 4 years ago

Thank you for saying this. For years I've regarded myself as having a specialized form of insanity for writing characters whose actions surprised even me, for running gaming sessions with no planning whatsoever because I knew my NPCs had it all worked out in their heads and would tell me about it when the time was right, and those who knew me either assumed I was lying about it or agreed I was crazy. I can't tell you how deeply affirming it is to hear I'm not the only one. Thank you. And always be true to the story, no matter how much it hurts; I've still never forgiven myself for the one I tried to force to go the way I wanted, and the unnatural shape I bent it into. My characters deserved better.

dornbeast

March 28 2013, 06:14:49 UTC 4 years ago

You're far from the only one who has characters take over. One of my favorite crossover fanfic authors describes one of the major story arcs as being generally plotted out, with his main character's roommate being planned as one of a series of crazy roomies. Then he got to the end of the first part, and the characters "took over driving the bus." I've read similar comments from other professional authors, as well.

Personally, I think that when the characters can tell the author what's happening next, the fiction's likely to come out better - or, at least, more to my tastes.

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

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jenjen4280

March 28 2013, 11:56:39 UTC 4 years ago

Good fiction makes the reader become emotionally invested in the characters. I think at least some of the folks that ask "why did you do this?" are trying to find closure. It's one of those questions for which there is no answer that would satisfy whomever asked it and in that respect, it's not cool to ask it of the author. A better way to seek closure would be to say "I really liked Mrs. Fluffybunnypants and it bummed me out when she got killed by the sasquatch." Then at least you give the author a chance to respond by at least saying I'm sorry the story took me there or whatever.

And on the positive side, you're making folks care enough about what you write to have an emotional reaction to it. That's pretty cool.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 16:37:16 UTC 4 years ago

I sadly think you're right. Once you're seeking closure that actively, you're probably not going to get it.

mariadkins

March 28 2013, 19:42:13 UTC 4 years ago

:applause:

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 16:37:25 UTC 4 years ago

*curtsey*

liddle_oldman

March 28 2013, 20:20:34 UTC 4 years ago

Someone (unimaginatively) asked JMS why Babylon 5 was set in 2258, and his answer, tinged with barely suppressed impatience, was "Because that's when it happened."

If something upsetting or unexpected happens in the story, well, that's the way it happened.

seanan_mcguire

May 16 2013, 16:37:34 UTC 4 years ago

Yes.
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