Things I will not do to my characters. Ever.

Unrealistic? Seriously?

*boggle*

UNREALISTIC?

You wrote a heroine so badass that she got out of Blind Michael's clutches--twice--and then went back to take him on AGAIN? And...she's gonna have to be successfully preyed on by a sex abuser, or the series is %$&*inf for %##*sake UNREALISTIC?

I'll tell you unrealistic. Unrealistic is, someone lays an amorous hand on Toby when she doesn't want it, and that someone still has that hand three seconds later.

Oh, and all those agonizing plot spoilers that have already happened to Toby and her loved ones haven't been nearly painful enough? She can't be truly *edgy* until THAT happens to her, too?

(shaking head in consternation)

People are weird. You're doing everything right. I admire your polite restraint in replying to that feep.

The reasoning of why your characters MUST be raped seems to boil down to "They asked for it". I'm not real thrilled with that line.

No matter what your opinion on the subject, there is no logical necessity for these fictional characters to get raped. Either you can do something to prevent being raped, or you can't. If you can't, then it's down to odds and they've got at least 87% odds of not being raped. If they CAN do something to prevent it, well these are all intelligent kick-ass women, so even if they're out being exposed, they can head off the opportunity or seriously present a threat to any fool who tries.

-- Written by Robin, not Fred. It's MY blog.

What the FUCK.... ?!

*shakes head*

That 'fan' is DEEPLY messed up.

" I know that five of them are safe because of me" My eyes literally filled with tears the second I read this sentance. I am perpetually disgusted by my gender, my nation and my world.

I swear to you now, publicly, on my honor, my name, and if it comes to that my life, that I will never harm you or allow you to come to harm if it is in my power to prevent it. I do not mean in any way to imply that you're not capible of taking care of yourself, of course, but seven years soldiering taught me that we all need someone at our back, sometimes, and that it's often not the time you expect it.

Ugh. Ew. Gross. That is disgusting.

I have read only TWO books in my whole life that had rape in them, and they both had it offscreen. It was important to the characters and/or the time period--but why do you need to put it in a fantasy story? I agree with you, I wouldn't do that either. (And like you, I tend to write the sort of women who are good with weapons.)
It's like all those horrible Harry Potter fanfics where Hermione or another female character gets raped so someone else can come and rescue them. Seriously, anyone who tried to get after Hermione would be in so much trouble he'd wish he'd never been born.

Also, about the fact that it's just women who get threatened this way, or have dark secrets that are related to sex--in The Hunger Games, the character who does have that kind of secret in their past is a man. My poor woobie Finnick . . .

Miss Bennet approves of your response.

The person who made the inquiry? Miss Bennet THOROUGHLY DISAPPROVES AND IS MAKING RAGEFACE.

Because. Damn. I weep for humanity.

I play World of Warcraft, and on RP servers, there is way, WAY too much of the "Rape as Backstory" trope going on. I think most of them are using it as a lazy way to add instant drama, though I also suspect many are just sick in the head and/or attention seeking. It pisses me off to see something so serious flung around in roleplay and fiction like it's Halloween candy.

What really gets me here is not just the expectation that all strong women will (and deserve?) to be assaulted, but that most sexual assaults occur between strangers, or because the women did something to 'ask for it' (the good old 'wore a short skirt to the wrong party' story) somehow, when statistically, this simply isn't the case. Ergo, such an occurrence happening to one of your female characters would be, if not unrealistic, then at least very unlikely, in and of itself. Grasp on reality fail.

So sorry you had to deal with it. :(

What is this I can't even.

Rape is not the inevitable price one must pay for being a strong-willed woman who challenges the status quo, and I am horrified at the idea some sleazebag in my fandomsphere thinks it is. I spent four years living in West Philadelphia and four and a half living on Avenue D in NYC--definitely not the safest neighborhoods. I walked home alone at night plenty of times. Do I fail to pass his "realism" test because like Sarah, I was never assaulted for having the audacity to be female, refusing to stay cloistered in my room after 8pm? For having a life? For having adventures?

Yes, rape is a horror that an unconscionable number of women must face in their lifetime, but you know what else strikes a huge percentage of the population? The flu. No one calls writers unrealistic if at least one character in their book doesn't get the goddamn common cold. No one calls writers unrealistic if we don't see their characters going to the bathroom. Yes, tummy bugs don't have the same profound impact on one's psyche, but no one calls writers unrealistic if they don't write about a parent dying or getting laid off from one's job or getting one's car totaled by someone running a red light and causing permanent physical damage. It blows my mind that he thinks Toby getting turned into a freaking fish for fourteen years is realistic, but not being raped is not.

There are all kinds of awful things in the world that can have a profound impact on a person that happen all the freaking time, but not every terrible thing needs to happen to everyone. Toby has certainly had more than her fair share of these! As writers, we choose what stories we want to tell. We choose which of those trillions of bad things we want our heroes to endure. Often times, we want our characters to face said crappy things because of a choice they made, and the idea of a woman getting raped because of a choice they made is repulsive.

The idea that Very should be raped because she sometimes wears minimal clothing is the exact kind of odious "She deserved it/She asked for it" meme people with functioning brains have been trying to eradicate for decades. The creepiest catcall I've gotten on the streets of New York happened one Halloween, when I was dressed as Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas--a calf-length, somewhat shapeless dress that makes me flat as a breadboard, with a long, matted red wig. I got sexually harassed by a client at work when I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Unwanted sexual attention anywhere on the intensity spectrum is NOT a freaking function of how one is dressed.

And this comment is starting to meander, and I'm preaching to the choir, so I'll shut up now, but ARG. What a raging, brainspasm-inducing, despicable creep of the universe. I'm sorry he vented his vileness at you.

Jesus. I'm surprised you're able to write about this coherently. I really am.

I also find it ironic that considering you've killed off POV characters before, this person still thinks rape is the worst thing you can do to your heroines?

Wow.... just wow....

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Among other things, too, if I interpreted your post correctly.

Good. Yes. Thank you.

I'll just leave this here:

Double facepalm, when one is not enough....

I have almost written "this!" on so many of the posts here, because, yes, you put your characters through an emotional blender, and there is plenty of emotional tension and constant physical threat to the characters which has nothing to do with their gender, sexuality or sexual identification.

The person who asked you this question needs to internalize the following, and then get a lot of therapy:

1. No one needs to be raped to 'level up' their character.
2. Rape is not there for the amusement of others. Not even the reader.
3. If you can't stand the 'realism' of a series where no one is raped, maybe you need to think about what kind of reality you want to promulgate.
4. Seriously? Seriously? Does there need to be a 4?

Thank you for publicly standing up to this asshat. I love you and I'm proud of you every day.

I just wanted to add a heartfelt thank you to the chorus. Thank you for everything you said, and for making your books safe and free from sexual violence.

This. Thank you. G-d thank you. As a rape survivor I avoid SO MUCH of urban fantasy and horror, and your books are where I know that while bad, tragic, terrible things can happen, I will not have to confront that searing pain from my own past.

Thank you for making my favorite genres safe for me.

Their comment is so horrible, and yet the part where, somehow, my brain balks the most?

The idea that rape is more likely to happen because someone who patrols for monsters at night happens to wear a different outfit one time. Because, hey, combat with supernatural beings? Completely irrelevant risk factor compared to WEARING PRETTY CLOTHES.

*takes a deep breath, tries to stop frothing*

Other people have covered so much better than I did the levels of wrong in what that person was saying. You've covered it so eloquently already! And yet somehow that's the part that really gets me.

The closest I ever came to being sexually assaulted--and I'm damn glad it didn't come closer--was when I was walking home from school in seventh grade. A gawky, pimply, undeveloped kid wearing a baggy jacket over baggy clothes. There is not a Fuck You in the world large enough for the people who say rape somehow springs magically into existence, like Aphrodite from the foam of a severed penis, because of someone wearing prettier clothes.

Well said. *hugs*

My ragey response got too long, so I blogged it instead, but seriously, HOLY WTF, BATMAN.

http://www.michelleandreesawrite.com/2012/09/wtaf-is-wrong-with-you/

Wow. Let me join the horde of people thanking you for posting this, and for writing characters who will not be raped.

Thank you. Given the number of conversations I have had today (alone) about problematic things and why maybe I don't want every single thing I read to be the book equivalent of a rape-filled donut, I needed to read this so hard today.

Love.

Also, love.

Kick ass, ma'am.