Things I will not do to my characters. Ever.

Also-permission to link?

Good freaking gods.

Thank you. For this post, and for not changing your mind because somebody has that opinion about 'realistic'.

Thank you.

This upsets me on so many levels, but I think the one that goes deepest for me personally is because this is kind of how I feel that I as a woman have been treated all of my life. My parents have always acted as if going outside after dark or wearing the wrong kind of clothes or going to the wrong kind of parties automatically means I will be raped. At one point when I was seeing a movie late and didn't immediately call afterwards, but went to my friend's place and called from there instead, my dad actually walked all the way to the cinema and looked in every park he passed to see if I was lying there raped and broken. I have been told by them since I was old enough to understand what rape is that it's the worst possible thing to ever happen to a woman, worse than dying. And it has left me with a deep fear of dark roads, even when I know that the chance of an attack!rapist lurking in the bushes at 5 am when it is balls-freezing cold outside is pretty fucking slim.

And this idea that you as a woman are destined to be raped if you don't follow all the "rules" is only fortified by the way rape is used as a trope in every tv-show, every comic, every book, every single work of fiction available as a way of making things dark and edgy, or giving a female protagonist "depth", or explaining why she's such a badass. And sometimes to lend her vulnerability so that the male protagonist or love interest or whatever can save/comfort her (because a badass woman can handle many things, but rape is so horrible that even she will need a man). The Rapist Monster will inevitably turn up around almost every single female heroine at some point, and she's almost always helpless to stop him.

And this means the fear of the Bad Man lurking in the shadows rather than in the eyes of a male friend who has problems with boundaries still persists. It means people will keep telling women to be afraid, and telling them they're to blame if they're not. It means rape culture gets even harder to get at because these tropes exist in the entirety of the public consciousness. And because my parents have been force-fed this trope too, it means I burst into tears on my way to work the early shift because it's dark and I feel like I'm just waiting for the inevitable attack. I keep wondering when I'll finally be raped.

Rant rant rant, but yeah. I wish the world wasn't a shitty place and that so many of its inhabitants weren't shitty people, and I'm sorry you as an author got treated shittily because you refused to feed this monster of a trope. Kudos to you.

That is one seriously creepy question. Makes you wonder, does anyone ask Jim Butcher when Harry Dresden is "finally" going to be raped? I mean, it happens to men too. Not nearly as often, but it does happen.

Don't worry about the idiots like those who would ask that question. You already know which stories to write: the ones you have to write, that cry out to be let loose on the page. I look forward to reading your work -- my wife is devouring your Toby novels right now on the recommendation of a couple of friends, and I'll be starting them after I finish the book I'm reading. Tybalt is an old nickname of mine, and I can't wait to see what you do with the character. Also, I'm amused to find out that you use the caith sidhe in your novels, since a novel I'm trying to sell right now includes a cú sidhe.

I am an author, and while I have shown rape in my books, it is not used to punish strong female characters and it is not used as a piece of titillation. It is a powerful obstacle that leads to greater strength in the men and women in my fiction who have been attacked.

As a survivor, I know how daunting it is to overcome that sort of loss of autonomy. It does happen. Obviously, and sadly, we know that all too well. But to say that it is INEVITABLE and that the lack thereof is somehow lowering the value of your work is absolute BUNK. I am appalled by the mentality behind that question, and more than a little afraid of someone who would ask when a strong woman will be raped, "finally".

Not. Acceptable.

I got pointed here -- but BRAVO

I just wish I had an applause icon.

I will confess that I've not ever read your books. I must do this now.

Wow, what an asshole!! Good for you for standing up for what you want to do with your own characters.

As I type this, there are some 12 pages of responses - I wonder if somewhere between pages 4 and 11 somebody brought up the need for (often) male character backstories to include the deaths of the parents (Batman's folks? Shot in an alley. Spiderman's 'rents? No idea, actually - I don't recall that issue being touched upon - he just lived with his aunt and uncle. Superman's family? Their planet exploded (oops)).

Your fantasy stuff doesn't need anything as, to be cynical, mundane as rape. In a fantasy setting, I find the use of rape as an essential part of that storyline to be sloppy and unimaginative. Moreso if it occurs uninterrupted. What, is that all the author could come up with? Fantasy is supposed to be more imaginative than that. Somebody brought up the issue of the 14 years as a fish. That was interesting! And relevant to the story! And intriguing!

I think that Spider-man's biological mother and father are irrelevant. His aunt and uncle are his true parents for all intents and purposes, and we all know what happened to Uncle Ben.

To further your point: fintach brought up Harry Dresden. Harry's parents? Dead. Luke Skywalker's parents? Dead (That "I am your father" business was a total retcon). James Bond's parents? Dead (Casino Royale confirmed him as an orphan). Even Star Trek gets in the act, with the recent movie killing Kirk's father and Spock's mother. And going back to Marvel, has anyone see Iron Man's parents around? I haven't mentioned any Japanese characters yet, so here's a relevant image macro to fill in that gap.

This madness has got to stop. Let the parents live!

I just want to say thank you for writing this. I'm not usually a big fan of sci-fi/fantasy, but I am a fan of kickass female characters and I haven't read nearly enough fiction lately. I'm looking on Amazon for one of your books right now, and even if I end not liking it, I'll be happy I bought it!

People have remarkably little imagination. I get the "unrealistic" accusation about writing lesbians who aren't freaked out that they're lesbians and about whom no one around them freaks out either--FIVE HUNDRED years into the future. Because you know, hating lesbians (not to mention, lesbians hating themselves) is an indelible, transhistorical human reality, right? right?

Insert huge eyeroll here.

Found this post through manadary's repost. I am in such hearty agreement, I can't even begin to express it.
I haven't read any of your books - I will now.
All the best,
Samazon

I'm currently in a class focused on Latin American women writers, a few of whom are using rape in their fiction as part of making a statement. I dread this class. I pick up my books to do my reading for class braced for the worst. The very first story we read was worst of all, so now I can barely bring myself to face any of the assignments for it. I'm falling behind because I'm afraid of triggers in my required reading material.

This post made me cry, and it also convinced me to go back and read more of your books. Thank you.

Thank you. Not just for the obvious factual reasons (rape is not an inevitable part of everyone's life and portraying it that way does bad things to society), but also because I read fiction for entertainment.

Most fiction doesn't include a miserable week-long snot-filled cold. Most fiction doesn't include the overscheduled state of being days behind at work and down to your last pair of clean underwear and whatever food you can make in five minutes from the cans at the back of the pantry. Most fiction doesn't include a dentist's drill. These things are much closer to inevitable in the real world than rape is, but being realistic isn't enough to make something a good read. People don't want to read about those things unless there's a good plot-related reason, and often not even then. I for one would much rather read about rose goblins and technodryads and the way that political campaigns change when everyone is scared to be around other people and alien mathematicians being awkward about their crushes. Or dragons and nanotechnology and a coin that grants half-wishes and subtraction stew.

And statistically (for those poor authors who DO accept the 'realism' standard), that '1 in 6' or '1 in 4' or whatever woman who does get raped in the real world -- only has it happen once in her lifetime. So what are the odds of it happening during the few weeks or months that most stories cover?

The realistic odds would be that it happen long before the story (and may or may not be worth mentioning in the story) -- or long AFTER the story.

Anyway it's ridiculous. Brava Seanan!

As a woman with rape in her family history, I thank you. I know what it feels like, I don't want to get triggered every bloody time I want to read about empowered women making their own rules. Just because some freaking idiot can't be bothered to turn on his bleeping brain and think about what he actually just said, I refuse to be forced to read rape scenes (be they on or off screen).
Pardon my language, but this was rather a bit close for comfort.
I can' t believe you were asked this. Jesus. Brains, people, you are allowed to use them.

Also, can I link this?

ALL THE SUPPORT. Also a greater portion of my future income dedicated to purchasing your books, rather than checking them out of the library. After all, I don't need to worry about surprise rape scenes in them!

Seriously, thanks.

Their response: "I thought you had respect for your work. That's just unrealistic."
I did, in fact, choke on my lunch while reading this. WHAT???? (a) If the 1-in-6 is correct, then the average woman is statistically more likely NOT to be attacked. (b) The women you write about routinely kill large nasty evil things, and are quite able to look out for themselves. (c) As you point out, you write fiction, and even if the premise were realistic, you are not required to write about it. (d) Again - WHAT??? Seriously, where do these people come from? And how do we get them to go back there?

Thank you for writing this.

That's all I have to say.

I have words and feelings about all this, but they are nowhere near coherent. So thank you for writing this and for standing up to whatever asshole had the gall to even ask something like that.

This "realism" argument gets particularly gross with fans of Game of Thrones, both the novels and their television adaptations. Which kind of misses some non-trivial points: 1) Westeros is not a real place, and 'Song of Ice and Fire' is not a historical chronicle. 2) Martin is not a historian or a medieval ballardeer. He's a contemporary American novelist who actually has agency over what he puts in his novels, and how he treats things like rape and physical abuse of women. 3) Rape is not some kind of immutable natural law, but a form of physical and psychological degradation RAPISTS CHOOSE TO PERPETUATE. That's reality, and it would be really nice if you at least try to deal with THAT when you're using rape, torture and violence against women as a plot point.

I was asked—in so many words—when either Toby or one of the Price girls was finally going to be raped.

My jaw moves but I am stunned to inaudible grunts of disbelief.

Is this what some of my fellow genre readers THINK?!?!?!?!