Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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In which Seanan spends a day at the ROLLER DERBY.

My friend Michael is a roller derby referee. Women's flat track derby, to be specific (so if you're thinking Whip It right now, you have the wrong form of the right sport). This past weekend was the Bay of Reckoning West Region play-offs, right here in the Bay Area, and he was up from Southern California to cheer his girls (the Angel City Derby Girls) on. After a great deal of polite wheedling on his part, I agreed to come out for part of Saturday, if I could make word count.

I made word count.

The Bay of Reckoning was being held in Richmond, which is a reasonable drive from my house. I put on a green Wicked Girls shirt and a metric ass-ton of spray glitter (YAY SPRAY GLITTER), grabbed my cane, and hitched a ride over with Mom, who elected not to stay for the fun. Then I went hobbling over (ankle still) to the door, to see if they had the wristband that Michael had promised me.

They did not. But they did have a notation that I was supposed to receive one, and as Michael's team was on the track at the time, they got me all signed in, wristbanded, and ready to go. One of the girls at the door actually recognized my name, and got very excited, because she loved the Toby books (this will matter later). With distant cheers and the sound of skates rattling over tile to lure me on, I dove into the cavernous depths of the warehouse-like building.

Michael called as I was reaching the bleachers. The bout had reached halftime, and he was heading for the door to meet me. "I'm under the bleachers."

"Stay there."

He found me, after a bit of comedic misinterpretation, and we made our way to where Rachel from Australia was saving our seats. Yay, Rachel! Rachel had Tim-Tams, and wasn't too dismayed when I informed her that I was the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame. Rachel is awesome.

It's difficult to describe what makes roller derby so awesome, beyond the fact that it's not only a great community, but it's a real, vibrant, athletic, female-dominated sport. You can't watch derby girls slamming around the track and think that it's faked; they're too obviously working their asses off. Angel City lost their bout, but not until after they'd managed some amazing skating. They were followed by Rat City vs. Sacred City (Seattle vs. Sacramento), which might have been a friendly bout, had one of the Rat City jammers not been knocked down, hard, in the very first jam. She hit her head on the floor, and sat out most of the half. And Rat City was pissed. They handed Sacred City their asses on a plate. It was awesome.

(If you skate for Sacred City, please don't kill me. It was a great match. But bouncing Ohno's head off the floor sort of pissed Rat City off, and anger is fun to watch.)

The headline bout of the night was B.A.D. Girls vs. the Denver Mile-High Club. At the end of the first half, B.A.D. was leading, to the point that people were predicting a B.A.D. Girls/Oly Rollers final. By the end of the second half, a few power jams (mostly by Francie Pants, who used to be an Olympic-level ice hockey player) had put Denver in the winner's circle. There was screaming, there was flailing, there was some incredible skating, and I loved every minute.

Roller derby is a world unto itself. There was a merchandise hall set up, with strange, lovely stalls (I bought a T-shirt) and a few food vendors (I bought a dozen cupcakes for our section of the stands. Favorite moment:

"Do you want a cupcake?"
"I'm gluten-free."
"So are the chocolate ones."

Bliss.)

People in giant felt vagina costumes danced up and down the aisles, as did someone in a giant felt shocker costume (if you don't know what the shocker is, don't Google it at work). There was a pseudo-flash mob of referee dance moves. Skaters were everywhere, and the rules said that if you got a derby girl in your lap, you had to throw her back.

It was awesome.

As Michael and I were heading out, I spotted the girl from the front desk who'd recognized my name, and managed to catch up to her to ask which books she liked best. She confirmed Toby. When Michael took me home, I grabbed and signed a couple of Toby books for her, since he was going back Sunday and I wasn't.* And then I fell into bed, and dreamed of derby.

Women's flat track roller derby is fabulous. If there's a league near you, you should try to catch a match or two. There are definitely worse ways to spend a Saturday night than watching an athlete in her prime make an apex jump during a power jam, after running on roller skates.

Life is good.

(*Yes, she got her books, because Michael is awesome.)
Tags: good things, having a life, in the wild, social life, where's seanan
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the rules said that if you got a derby girl in your lap, you had to throw her back

Awwww. But I want a Derby Girl too! They are seriously badass!
Yeah, but she probably had a match to finish.
I want to go check out a Rat City bout but scheduling has not allowed it yet but it will happen. Oh yes, it will. :)
They're really a fantastic league. I look forward to being a home-team supporter.

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As Michael and I were heading out, I spotted the girl from the front desk who'd recognized my name, and managed to catch up to her to ask which books she liked best. She confirmed Toby. When Michael took me home, I grabbed and signed a couple of Toby books for her, since he was going back Sunday and I wasn't.
Aw, you're a sweetiepants.

Roller derby sounds insane. I don't actually know what they do, like what the objective is. Skate around and beat each other up? Last woman standing?
I know it has something to do with a designated player getting points for passing players on the opposing team. They make a rolling pack and the point scorer has to force her way through the pack and skate enough faster that she goes all the way around the track.

On her second pass through she gets points for each opposing player she passes. The other team tries to out-skate or block her, her own team protects and tries to clear the way

It was a big deal when I was little, in the late 50's and early 60's. Wrestling for the guys and roller derby for the gals. (Watching, not doing.) I used to watch it on weekends with my dad sometimes, but I can't say I ever really understood it.

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seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

Sounds like fun. You've just made me want to go see a roller derby match, and I'm generally not into watching sports. I suspect that logistics will make it difficult in the near future, but I did get as far as looking up the local team's next match, cost, and location for reference. :)
I remember watching matches on TV when I was a very young grade-school kid. I was never quite clear on the rules either. Then or now.

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

ardentdelirium

4 years ago

Cool! There's now a kind-of connection to filk, as well. Jane Irwin, the artist who drew the cover for my tape/CD "Tusks Are Optional", is now a member of a roller derby team in Kalamazoo, the Killa Crew.
Awesome.

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not to be rude, but how old are you? DCRG has skaters in their 40s and 50s who are still bad ass contenders!

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ardentdelirium

4 years ago

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

yay derby! I volunteer with the DC league, and broke my leg during the first stage of tryouts this year, so I have to wait until next year to try out again. I'm so envious you got to go to the Bay of Reckoning! DC is competing in the Sugarbush Showdown this weekend in Vermont, and I can't go to that, either. But I'll be watching the livestream at WFTDA.TV!
I want to skate so bad, but my spine (three herniated disks) means it will never be an option. I hope you make the cut!

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seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

I miss derby! I was both a ref and a player here in Texas. Lots of fun. Truly unique experience. Awesome times.
Awesome.
one of my favorite shapeshifter erotica writers has Womens Roller Derby in some of her books. Entire teams of shifters.. (she also has hockey too, but, thats not as much fun)
Hee hee.

martianmooncrab

4 years ago

paksenarrion2

4 years ago

martianmooncrab

4 years ago

Glad you had fun. I watched Sunday on WFTDA.tv from New Orleans. The Final Oly / Denver bout was amazeballs. :)

I wanted Denver to win. :(
Though I have a subjective grasp of how much a "metric ass-ton of spray glitter" is, I would like to know if this amount has been objectively quantified?
I was so glitter-encrusted I was giving contact glitter to people three bleachers away.

docpockets

4 years ago

My stepdad (also named Michael) is a roller derby referee. You make me want to go to a meet now!
You should!
I love roller derby, and go ssee the KC Roller Warriors every chance I get. If ny knees were in better shape, I'd try out for the team :)
Word.
My best friend does derby in the midwest (she's down to rec league now, but anyway). I might end up moving home, and if I do my husband really wants me to do at least rec derby with her, because he says that I could really use the release of "hitting bitches" (which my friend tells me is an unofficial derby-girl sanctioned definition of derby).

In the meantime, I'm content to watch the Austin derby girls kick ass but am entirely too chicken to try to join them. Derby is srs bsns down here.
Derby is srs bsns anywhere good.
The last time I heard from him, one of my former roommates was dating a roller-derby girl. I never managed to get out to a match, though . . .
Awesome.
Yay for Rat City! (I took a job at Key Arena earlier this year, so I actually sort-of understand the rules of flat-track roller derby.)

Was Yoko Onoudi’nt the one that got knocked down? Half the reason I like the sport is the tendency towards puns in the derby names, but it would be mildly amusing if it was her injury that triggered an "Oh, no, you didn't" response.
Favorite name I saw in Sunday's Bouts: Jalapeno Business.

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

KwanTi

4 years ago

I've been to the occasional Alamo City Roller Girls bout. If they had bleachers I'd go more often, having to stand for that long gets a bit painful.
No bleachers?

Ack.

Charles Ellis

4 years ago

just found out woot is doing holloween extras http://shirt.woot.com/plus/hallowoot-2012
I thought the zombie candy corn options might be of interest
Oooooooooooooooo.
Roller Derby is the best sport ever.
Word.
I went along for the first time last year, and was delighted to get heaps of really good photo opportunities. Next time I want to be in the Suicide Seats!

RollerDerby2011EDfall2-0695
Awesome!
Tim Tams and Roller Derby? Your life is so fun!
I enjoy it. :)
Saw the derby here in Melbourne about two months ago. Loved it. Sat in the suicide seats. It was brilliant. Fantastic community feel. We had hot jam donuts and hot chips and there were stalls, including of all things a comic book stall.

Will definitely be going back.
Why am I not surprised you're friends with aphephobia? I was just going to comment to ask if it was All Star Comics running the stall - it sounds like the sort of thing they'd do - and then I thought 'better check if this is Melbourne, Australia, or Melbourne overseas', so I looked at your profile and saw her on there, along with enough other people that I wonder whether you and I have met at some point, simply because the nature of Melbourne is such that everyone meets everyone eventually. (I'm convinced there are only 13 people in Melbourne and they do the rest with mirrors.)

mysterysquid

4 years ago

seanan_mcguire

4 years ago

Fortunately I was at home for this post, because when someone says 'Don't google this at work', I immediately have to google it no matter where I am. I am not entirely shocked that there exists such a thing, but I am a little bit surprised at someone costuming as it. Or at least I was, and then I reminded myself that I know a guy who dresses as a giant penis for Sexpo, and also that this is the second time that that person has been relevant to a conversation, and I became unsurprised.

Ramble aside, I'm glad you had such a good time and glittered people and had cupcakes. Did you get to catch a derby girl or were you too high in the seats?
I was right up front, but I didn't catch a derby girl.
A gaming friend of mine skates with the Albany All-Stars. Weekdays she is a lab chemist, weekends she is "Double Shelix".
AWESOME.
A post full of awesome...and new (to me) things. Yes, I was thinking Whip It</> so now I'll have to research the two kinds of roller derby. And shockers. (maybe) And what am I missing here?

Rachel had Tim-Tams, and wasn't too dismayed when I informed her that I was the Princess of the Kingdom of Poison and Flame.,/i>

Well, I know the Pirate Queen of the Conch Republic, so there.

*laughing*
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