Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: thoughtful
  • Music: The Koops, "Koop Island Blues."

It takes a village. Or a book release party.

This past weekend was the latest iteration of the Traveling Circus and Snake-Handling Show (about which there will be more later; I'm pulling together our set lists). And, as has become the norm for us, we had several children under the age of five in attendance, at least for the first part of the evening. I'm pretty sure only Josh, who I keep referring to as "the micro-human," made it to the end of the evening. The Circus itself comes with three children under ten. All children were fabulously well-behaved, with attentive parents who kept them occupied and distracted them whenever they started getting bored.

Early on, one of the children, who is just hitting the age of "oh, wow, music is AWESOME!!!" did some delighted laughing at the sound check. A few dirty looks were directed. I promptly claimed the microphone, pointed out the kid in question, and made sure the room was aware of just how happy I was to have him there, and how happy I was that his parents felt we were a safe space.

I did not see any further dirty looks.

So here, just to be clear, is my official position on children at book release parties: as long as you're happy to miss part of the reading or the set list because your kid is crying and you need to go walk around outside, I am happy to have you. Not just happy: ecstatic. On the rare occasions where I have events that are not child-friendly, it will be clearly stated from the get-go. You know, "Hey, it's me and Chuck Wendig, we both swear a lot and egg each other on, so unless you want your kids to get sent home from school eighteen times, please leave them home." Why?

Because when I was a kid, people took me out to see and do things. I fell asleep behind the harp case at Golden Bough concerts, I fell asleep on the lawn at Beach Boys concerts...I was a very sleepy child. And before I fell asleep, I ran around, I laughed, I shrieked, I was fussy, I did kid stuff. I was allowed.

This is not me saying "you, person without children, you are less important than that baby who has been screaming next to you for ten minutes." I expect that parents who bring their kids to my events will be responsible, and guess what? So far, I've been right. If that changes in the future, I'll be taking the microphone to say "hey, if you need a quiet space to walk your baby back to sleep, here's a place you can do it." I'd say the same thing if an adult had been screaming for ten minutes. Although maybe a little less nicely.

What this is is me saying "everybody gets to come to the party." As long as we're all playing nice and being responsible, we are all welcome. No dirty looks for anybody. And our reward? Is watching my mother dancing with toddlers, which is pretty damn awesome.

I love my fanbase. Y'all are so cool.
Tags: appearances, contemplation
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  • 67 comments

Lost_Violet

September 11 2012, 17:48:59 UTC 4 years ago Edited:  September 11 2012, 17:50:28 UTC

Spawn and her half-brother are an excellent study in this. I made it clear at an early age that the grown ups do cool things, and if you want to go do those cool things, you've got to learn how to behave in those environments. She fell asleep on piles of coats in the winter, and the omnipresent blanket for sleeping in the summer and soaked up everything from music to fine dining to movies to Ren faires. Whatever adult had her (she was in the go a lot with my dad and stepmom) watched for the crankies but they very rarely appeared.

The stepson was raised elsewhere, and very differently, largely in the segregate the children and when you do take them out in public, don't even think about expecting them to behave because that would stunt their creative little souls manner. He lives with us now, and we're going to be undoing that damage for a while yet. Picture being basically an adult but never having been shown how a responsible one behaves. That kind of parenting makes me so angry that I literally shake. It's also why I commend the parents I see doing it well in public every time I can.

And the image of your mom dancing with toddlers made me smile, and renew my plotting for making it out for a Circus some day.

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2012, 17:19:31 UTC 4 years ago

I surely hope you can. We'd love to have you.