thoughtfulEarly on, one of the children, who is just hitting the age of "oh, wow, music is AWESOME!!!" did some delighted laughing at the sound check. A few dirty looks were directed. I promptly claimed the microphone, pointed out the kid in question, and made sure the room was aware of just how happy I was to have him there, and how happy I was that his parents felt we were a safe space.
I did not see any further dirty looks.
So here, just to be clear, is my official position on children at book release parties: as long as you're happy to miss part of the reading or the set list because your kid is crying and you need to go walk around outside, I am happy to have you. Not just happy: ecstatic. On the rare occasions where I have events that are not child-friendly, it will be clearly stated from the get-go. You know, "Hey, it's me and Chuck Wendig, we both swear a lot and egg each other on, so unless you want your kids to get sent home from school eighteen times, please leave them home." Why?
Because when I was a kid, people took me out to see and do things. I fell asleep behind the harp case at Golden Bough concerts, I fell asleep on the lawn at Beach Boys concerts...I was a very sleepy child. And before I fell asleep, I ran around, I laughed, I shrieked, I was fussy, I did kid stuff. I was allowed.
This is not me saying "you, person without children, you are less important than that baby who has been screaming next to you for ten minutes." I expect that parents who bring their kids to my events will be responsible, and guess what? So far, I've been right. If that changes in the future, I'll be taking the microphone to say "hey, if you need a quiet space to walk your baby back to sleep, here's a place you can do it." I'd say the same thing if an adult had been screaming for ten minutes. Although maybe a little less nicely.
What this is is me saying "everybody gets to come to the party." As long as we're all playing nice and being responsible, we are all welcome. No dirty looks for anybody. And our reward? Is watching my mother dancing with toddlers, which is pretty damn awesome.
I love my fanbase. Y'all are so cool.
September 10 2012, 21:26:49 UTC 4 years ago
I don't have/want kids, I don't know what to do with them, and they make me really nervous because GAH CHILDREN WHAT DO I DO?!, but I grew up being exposed to stuff like music and art and dance, and I think I came out much better for it, because it felt accessible to me from an early age. It wasn't a grown-up thing, it was something that I was allowed to see and participate in.
So when I see a kid someplace like that, or heck, just see ANY kid being well-behaved in an adult space, I make sure to smile and wave and be pleasant. And when I performed at public events, dancing, sometimes little kids would run right up to the edge of the stage and dance around and squeal and clap and make a little bit of a ruckus, but they were so damn happy to be there. It never happened at closed events, actual pay-money-for-it SHOWS, but it happened at public stuff all the time. If there were kids there, they would be RIGHT UP NEXT TO THE STAGE within like thirty seconds. Man, you see a four-year old gettin' down because they are SO EXCITED by your jingly sparkly awesomeness and you can't help but feel totally amazing. And their parents inevitably apologized, and I was inevitably like "WAT? No, seriously, it's cool! Let 'em come up and look at my costume. Yes, Lisa, you can be a dancer, yes, Billy, you can be a dancer, too." Just keep 'em off the stage, 'cause nobody wants to get run over by a big ol' mess of bellydancers, and sometimes those choreographies stop for no one.
I have serious anxiety issues when kids are making noise and crying, and I won't pretend it isn't a problem, it is, and I've seen some egregious examples of parents ignoring a child who was really causing a disruption, but nineteen times out of twenty the kids are being wonderful. I get more disruption from thoughtless adults. Especially people using THEIR CELL-PHONE VOICE. Sheesh.
The only place I've had consistent problems is movie theaters, and that's not just a little kid/baby thing, that's a "People turn into animals when the lights go off, apparently!" thing.
As far as adults-only spaces, I see the utility of that, but I also see the futility of it if you also don't kick out the adults who are being a pain in the ass.
September 12 2012, 17:09:16 UTC 4 years ago
Ahem: word.