Early on, one of the children, who is just hitting the age of "oh, wow, music is AWESOME!!!" did some delighted laughing at the sound check. A few dirty looks were directed. I promptly claimed the microphone, pointed out the kid in question, and made sure the room was aware of just how happy I was to have him there, and how happy I was that his parents felt we were a safe space.
I did not see any further dirty looks.
So here, just to be clear, is my official position on children at book release parties: as long as you're happy to miss part of the reading or the set list because your kid is crying and you need to go walk around outside, I am happy to have you. Not just happy: ecstatic. On the rare occasions where I have events that are not child-friendly, it will be clearly stated from the get-go. You know, "Hey, it's me and Chuck Wendig, we both swear a lot and egg each other on, so unless you want your kids to get sent home from school eighteen times, please leave them home." Why?
Because when I was a kid, people took me out to see and do things. I fell asleep behind the harp case at Golden Bough concerts, I fell asleep on the lawn at Beach Boys concerts...I was a very sleepy child. And before I fell asleep, I ran around, I laughed, I shrieked, I was fussy, I did kid stuff. I was allowed.
This is not me saying "you, person without children, you are less important than that baby who has been screaming next to you for ten minutes." I expect that parents who bring their kids to my events will be responsible, and guess what? So far, I've been right. If that changes in the future, I'll be taking the microphone to say "hey, if you need a quiet space to walk your baby back to sleep, here's a place you can do it." I'd say the same thing if an adult had been screaming for ten minutes. Although maybe a little less nicely.
What this is is me saying "everybody gets to come to the party." As long as we're all playing nice and being responsible, we are all welcome. No dirty looks for anybody. And our reward? Is watching my mother dancing with toddlers, which is pretty damn awesome.
I love my fanbase. Y'all are so cool.
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September 10 2012, 20:45:38 UTC 4 years ago
Yes, this. It feels to me like our society has gotten more segregated into kids-only and adults-only spaces since I was a kid, which drives me nuts, because my best friends as a kid were adults. Yeah, I was that kid. So thank you, from me and my six-week-old, who I will do my best to bring to your next local book release party. :)
September 10 2012, 21:17:53 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:08:37 UTC 4 years ago
Funny how that works, yeah?
September 10 2012, 21:18:08 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:12:38 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:18:18 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:17:02 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:18:26 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:26:49 UTC 4 years ago
I don't have/want kids, I don't know what to do with them, and they make me really nervous because GAH CHILDREN WHAT DO I DO?!, but I grew up being exposed to stuff like music and art and dance, and I think I came out much better for it, because it felt accessible to me from an early age. It wasn't a grown-up thing, it was something that I was allowed to see and participate in.
So when I see a kid someplace like that, or heck, just see ANY kid being well-behaved in an adult space, I make sure to smile and wave and be pleasant. And when I performed at public events, dancing, sometimes little kids would run right up to the edge of the stage and dance around and squeal and clap and make a little bit of a ruckus, but they were so damn happy to be there. It never happened at closed events, actual pay-money-for-it SHOWS, but it happened at public stuff all the time. If there were kids there, they would be RIGHT UP NEXT TO THE STAGE within like thirty seconds. Man, you see a four-year old gettin' down because they are SO EXCITED by your jingly sparkly awesomeness and you can't help but feel totally amazing. And their parents inevitably apologized, and I was inevitably like "WAT? No, seriously, it's cool! Let 'em come up and look at my costume. Yes, Lisa, you can be a dancer, yes, Billy, you can be a dancer, too." Just keep 'em off the stage, 'cause nobody wants to get run over by a big ol' mess of bellydancers, and sometimes those choreographies stop for no one.
I have serious anxiety issues when kids are making noise and crying, and I won't pretend it isn't a problem, it is, and I've seen some egregious examples of parents ignoring a child who was really causing a disruption, but nineteen times out of twenty the kids are being wonderful. I get more disruption from thoughtless adults. Especially people using THEIR CELL-PHONE VOICE. Sheesh.
The only place I've had consistent problems is movie theaters, and that's not just a little kid/baby thing, that's a "People turn into animals when the lights go off, apparently!" thing.
As far as adults-only spaces, I see the utility of that, but I also see the futility of it if you also don't kick out the adults who are being a pain in the ass.
September 12 2012, 17:09:16 UTC 4 years ago
Ahem: word.
September 10 2012, 21:41:40 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:09:28 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:42:23 UTC 4 years ago
I actually spent the entire first portion of the set having my chair kicked by another small child. I laughed when they apologized later because other than a bit of "There is a small human kicking my chair" I didn't mind too much.
September 12 2012, 17:09:47 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 21:45:37 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:09:56 UTC 4 years ago
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September 12 2012, 17:10:04 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 22:08:47 UTC 4 years ago
Gave me a happy feeling....
September 11 2012, 01:27:31 UTC 4 years ago
Also: awesome policy, Seanan.
4 years ago
September 10 2012, 22:10:52 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:10:30 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 22:12:24 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:10:41 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 22:24:25 UTC 4 years ago
It's memorable because it was all things we weren't supposed to do in grownup spaces. Mom and Dad expected us to behave ourselves in public, even if we were monsters at home. Throwing a tantrum in the grocery store over wanting candy was grounds to put ALL the groceries back. Fighting with my sisters where strangers could see got us dragged away and thoroughly scolded. Even quiet crying got us ushered to a bathroom or the car, where we were calmed and cleaned up.
We spent time around grownups, because that was how you learned to act like a grownup. Sequestering children to their own kid-friendly corner of the world may be quieter for us grownups, but it hurts us, in the long run. Raise a kid to not understand the difference between public and private, and you get a generation full of people who don't see any reason why they shouldn't talk through the entire movie in the theater.
September 12 2012, 17:10:56 UTC 4 years ago
And totally agreed.
September 10 2012, 22:33:18 UTC 4 years ago
BTW, my kids are Cassandra (7) and Quentin (2), named well before I started reading Toby. Seeing them work together in An Artificial Night was quite a treat. :)
September 12 2012, 17:11:08 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 22:46:18 UTC 4 years ago
Also, to everyone, until I was writing the thank you I sent Seanan earlier, the thought hadn't made it into words, but if we bring our son somewhere and let him hang out with a group of people, it's because we think you'll be a good influence on him, which is about the highest complement I can give right now. Just a different perspective to think about when you see a small one around.
We do our best to be attentive, since we certainly don't want to be the sort of parents everyone sees occasional examples of, and so far seem to mostly succeed. As far as I'm concerned, that's an important part of parenting.
And finally, Seanan, your mom rocks. We'll send you a link to the photos of her and Josh after we look through them and post the good ones. Also, I have visions of referring to the "micro-human" when he's taller than us. Hehehe.
September 11 2012, 20:16:15 UTC 4 years ago
We've found an absolutely amazing village and I'm thrilled that it includes amazing artists in all kinds of bents, and amazing super people.
4 years ago
4 years ago
September 10 2012, 23:03:42 UTC 4 years ago
We've always felt welcomed bringing our daughter to cons and other geeky spaces. It is one of the things I love about the community. We're a community that wants to share our passions for SF and Fantasy with others and kids count too.
September 12 2012, 17:14:31 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 23:35:05 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:14:42 UTC 4 years ago
September 10 2012, 23:39:21 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:14:54 UTC 4 years ago
I hope to witness this move.
September 11 2012, 01:09:34 UTC 4 years ago Edited: September 11 2012, 01:10:37 UTC
[EDIT to avoid possible misreading.]
September 12 2012, 17:15:08 UTC 4 years ago
4 years ago
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September 11 2012, 01:46:16 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:15:17 UTC 4 years ago
September 11 2012, 02:26:55 UTC 4 years ago
*hugs*
September 12 2012, 17:15:31 UTC 4 years ago
September 11 2012, 06:20:46 UTC 4 years ago
But! When I went out yesterday to find a copy, and Barnes and Noble was totally sold out (I nicely poked the lady that helped me to think about a restock, because all she had was one copy of ALH and one copy of Discount), my frantic google search on my phone led me to an actual live independent genre bookstore like 10 minutes from my house. I never knew. And now I know. And I also have a copy of new Toby. Double winning all the way. And they had like two of *everything* on the shelf, only now they only have one of Ashes, because I took it.
http://www.mystgalaxy.com/ for winning.
September 12 2012, 17:15:43 UTC 4 years ago
September 11 2012, 16:11:49 UTC 4 years ago
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September 11 2012, 16:40:34 UTC 4 years ago
September 12 2012, 17:16:09 UTC 4 years ago
September 11 2012, 17:39:20 UTC 4 years ago
The thing is, people who are self-proclaimed "child haters" (not me, but I do know people with this angle; everyone has their peeves, I guess) and those who love/have children -can- get along, as long as they're not jerks.
IMEX, people who "hate children" really focus on two things: Parents who want to talk about their kids and think everyone else does too, and kids who aren't being properly taken care of.
So as long as the "child haters" don't bring their fear/dislike of bad behaviour into situations where it isn't happening, and bad behaviour doesn't happen (or is swiftly corrected) everyone (theoretically, anyway) can be happy. This includes (but is not limited to) people who are all "babybabybaby" being sensitive to people who aren't that interested in talking about babies right now, thank you, and people who associate other people's children with discomfort not inflicting -their- complaints on people who don't want to hear it either.
BTW, done with Newsflesh. Reading Discount Armageddon and loving it ATM.
September 12 2012, 17:16:57 UTC 4 years ago
4 years ago
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