BLACKOUT open thread!

You know, I keep thinking about spontaneous remission.

It seems like the Holy Grail - it might be possible to get back all our loved ones who became zombies! That's so awesome!!!

Except, totally not. In a world where the dead rise, everything bigger than a housecat is The Enemy, death can come borne on mosquito wings, and our protectors are actually our villains, spontaneous remission is still a horror story without equal.



See, I'm thinking. First of all, what would trigger spontaneous remission? It's not, you know, really spontaneous, just unpredictable. Maybe the zombie develops cancer, and when the cancer is killed the virus goes into remission. Maybe they get a cold, and when that's handled it goes into remission. Maybe they get shoved against an electric fence. Maybe they get exposed to another strain of KA and the interaction causes both to go into remission.

Okay, cool. Let's assume the remission is "ideal". It happens as fast as zombification - 5 minutes, maybe half an hour at the outside, and you go from zombie to normal person. Let's also assume that, mercifully, KA doesn't bother putting down memories so you don't recall what happened while you were a zombie. The last thing you remember is being bitten and feeling the KA take over. Yay.

So let's take stock. Your body is in crappy shape. You have the most awful taste in your mouth - a mouth full of teeth that are rotting out (zombies aren't notable for good oral hygiene, I hear.) And you probably can figure what that taste is. Your feet are pretty torn up, I'm sure - you probably lost your shoes somewhere. Your clothes are damaged. You're suffering numerous strains, bruises, and muscle tearing. Hopefully you haven't lost any limbs or have any have any other immediately fatal problems that KA was routing around. Oh, and you may have some gangrene. Now that you're among the more living, that could kinda be a problem. But no matter what you're sure to be in a LOT of pain and barely mobile.

And where are you? Oh, right. This is where it's going to really suck. You are now Somewhere Else. You probably have no idea where. Maybe you're near your abandoned home. Who knows? You may not be dressed for the weather, of course. Oh, but where do you find zombies? Near other zombies. You're not in a safe zone - you were a freaking zombie! You are now surrounded by zombies. And you just went from "apex predator" to "preferred prey". You are barely mobile, unprepared, disoriented, and surrounded by zombies.

And that's if you're lucky. What if it happens while you're actually in the midst of a horde of zombies? Congratulations, you came out of it just long enough to get the full experience of being eaten alive!

And what happens if the zombies don't kill you? Well... "best case" is that you somehow get your wretched, beat-up body to take you to civilization. And they don't shoot you on sight, even though you look like a zombie, and are probably still moving like a zombie. They test you, you're clean. They let you in and give you medical care. Here's hoping the CDC doesn't snag you for a test subject and carpet-bomb anyone who might know about you (okay, at least that part shouldn't happen anymore).
You're still an ex-zombie. Odds are, you personally killed one or more of your friends and family. You have eaten gods-know-what. You have, for all intents and purposes died a tthe hands (or teeth) of zombies.
And that's assuming the outlandish notion that you haven't had brain damage. Which is pretty outlandish. In Blackout it's indicated that KA keeps the brain on, but that it doesn't keep the brain up properly, so older zombies likely do have brain damage.

I'm having a hard time coming up with a case in which spontaneous remission is a good thing, outside of the lab. I do wonder how common it really is - as far as I can figure, most cases would result in the almost immediate death of the individual, and nobody would even notice.