Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: exhausted
  • Music: Kelly Clarkson, "Stronger."

A small footnote about dealing with people with OCD.

...or at least, dealing with person with OCD.

It's no secret around here that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; I manage it on a daily basis, and I do a pretty good job. It's why I can accomplish as much as I do, given how little time I have. But it does mean that some things are non-negotiable for me, even as I politely tell people that they don't have to do them.

One of those things is responding to comments.

Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed, kind and concerned and loving people try to grant me comment amnesty. "You don't have to answer this." BUT I DO. I answer comments because I have to answer comments, or I literally cannot forget that I have left them unanswered. It may take me a long time. I may answer so far in the future that you've forgotten commenting. But unless I was the one who said "comment amnesty" (and sometimes not even then), I can't leave the majority of comments unacknowledged.

(This came about, ironically, because someone got very very very angry at me for not answering comments, and left me with a terror of being screamed at again.)

So please, don't tell me I don't have to answer you. That will just stress me out more, and move answering your comment to tell you that I do so have to answer higher up my priority list.

This has been another day of Seanan, living with OCD. Have a cookie.

ETA: Because I apparently wasn't clear: I love comments. I enjoy answering them. What stresses me out is other people trying to declare comment amnesty on my behalf. I can't process that, and so it just makes me unaccountably tense and unpleasant. So please, comment as normal. Just don't try to tell me I don't have to answer you, 'cause really, I do.
Tags: from mars, medical fu, shameless plea
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    switch
    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    Help
  • 86 comments

isabelknight

March 14 2012, 20:34:48 UTC 5 years ago

I'm sorry people were being shouty assholes - for some reason I always get so much more stressed out about people being nasty online than in person. I can do something when people are being weirdly hostile in person - walk away, or refocus on watching to see if they're going to escalate to a physical threat, or sometimes shut them down by pointing out that their behavior is inappropriate. Online, the assholes are just...out there somewhere, being assholes, even after I delete the messages. It's like losing track of a spider. I'm really, really sorry you've had to deal with so many of the nasty little creatures recently.

I'd actually thought you just knew everyone you answered the few times I read comments instead of just the post - I never actually scrolled all the way through - so I never actually made the "I love your books and your music and your stories and I think you're awesome" post that always occurred to me whenever I read or listened to something of yours. But I do think you're awesome, and I hope you have a lovely spring, devoid of assholes and the unpleasant types of stress. And thank you for the cookie.

seanan_mcguire

March 20 2012, 15:17:06 UTC 5 years ago

I'm similar. Online assholes are spiders, and they're somewhere in my house, and I don't know where.

Welcome, and you're very welcome to more cookies.