A small footnote about dealing with people with OCD.: seanan

A small footnote about dealing with people with OCD.

...or at least, dealing with person with OCD.

It's no secret around here that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; I manage it on a daily basis, and I do a pretty good job. It's why I can accomplish as much as I do, given how little time I have. But it does mean that some things are non-negotiable for me, even as I politely tell people that they don't have to do them.

One of those things is responding to comments.

Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed, kind and concerned and loving people try to grant me comment amnesty. "You don't have to answer this." BUT I DO. I answer comments because I have to answer comments, or I literally cannot forget that I have left them unanswered. It may take me a long time. I may answer so far in the future that you've forgotten commenting. But unless I was the one who said "comment amnesty" (and sometimes not even then), I can't leave the majority of comments unacknowledged.

(This came about, ironically, because someone got very very very angry at me for not answering comments, and left me with a terror of being screamed at again.)

So please, don't tell me I don't have to answer you. That will just stress me out more, and move answering your comment to tell you that I do so have to answer higher up my priority list.

This has been another day of Seanan, living with OCD. Have a cookie.

ETA: Because I apparently wasn't clear: I love comments. I enjoy answering them. What stresses me out is other people trying to declare comment amnesty on my behalf. I can't process that, and so it just makes me unaccountably tense and unpleasant. So please, comment as normal. Just don't try to tell me I don't have to answer you, 'cause really, I do.

serge_lj

March 15 2012, 01:41:41 UTC 5 years ago

New comment

Have a cookie?
Got any oatmeal?

seanan_mcguire

March 20 2012, 16:10:41 UTC 5 years ago

Yes. Yes, I do.

grassrose

March 15 2012, 02:32:29 UTC 5 years ago

Bless your heart! I have an irrational reaction to forced multitasking - if both phone and real life require my attention at the same time (my husband trying to get my attention while I'm listening to someone on the phone), I get a surge of total rage... weird. My reaction is to say to one or the other, "Hold on just a second", but there's that initial freaky freakout.

I hope it's not too rude that, after reading your post, I looked at the 50+ comments and wondered if half were from readers and the other half your replies :o)

Okay, okay, I'll wander off, now. *wanders off, munching cookie*

pbristow

March 15 2012, 13:20:52 UTC 5 years ago

"I have an irrational reaction to forced multitasking - if both phone and real life require my attention at the same time (my husband trying to get my attention while I'm listening to someone on the phone), I get a surge of total rage... weird. "

Ooh, I get that! Have to really bite my tongue and wait and see which one gets a clue and shuts up first, so that I can then politely interrupt the other one, explain the problem, and then probably reward the "got a clue first" person by dealing with them first, unless their issue requires serious attention and the other one is a simple "talk to person X about that/ask me tomorrow".

May 5 2012, 16:11:00 UTC 5 years ago

Nah, it's not rude at all. I think I actually have about a 40% reply rate, since I don't always answer anything below first tier replies (replies on the actual entry, not replies to replies).

captaintwinings

March 15 2012, 05:37:16 UTC 5 years ago

One time I left a comment on one of your posts, and you answered it three weeks later when I was no longer expecting it. It totally brightened my day.

May 5 2012, 16:09:04 UTC 5 years ago

Hee!

Well, I live to serve in that regard.

evaleastaristev

March 15 2012, 05:44:06 UTC 5 years ago

Go ahead and answer this in December. It's always fun to have a random Seanan reply waiting in my inbox! It makes me go back to posts I had long forgotten about!

May 5 2012, 17:18:16 UTC 5 years ago

SURPRISE!!!!!

May 5 2012, 20:25:15 UTC 5 years ago

And it only took you two months! Go you!

ladymurmur

March 15 2012, 14:25:39 UTC 5 years ago

That cookie just made my morning. :-)

I have a somewhat similar reaction to "tl:dr" - you wrote it, it is there, I have to read it. I can't not read it. Don't tell me not to read it. Why are you telling me not to read it????!!??? If I'm not supposed to read it - don't write it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gah!

May 5 2012, 16:05:25 UTC 5 years ago

Or at least put it behind a damn cut-tag!

silveraspen

March 15 2012, 14:38:37 UTC 5 years ago

Holy cow, person-who-got-angry-with-you, way to be inappropriately entitled! Gah. I am sorry you had to deal with that unpleasantness. Some people have no manners at all.

By the by, I just finished Discount Armageddon this past weekend, and very, very much enjoyed it. I'm now rereading the Toby Daye books purely for fun. Thanks so much for sharing your stories with us.

May 5 2012, 16:04:53 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, that was...special. Better yet, it was before I was a professional author, so this was someone screaming at me in my fannish journal, where I had no obligations to anyone.

Good times.

liddle_oldman

March 15 2012, 15:32:35 UTC 5 years ago Edited: March 15 2012, 15:33:22 UTC

Thanks for the footnote!

That being said, I have to say I'm really enjoying the October books. (Well, I have enjoyed them -- I'm near the end of One Salt Sea). Armageddon is waiting for me at home. No action item -- just that I really like your writing.

(Though I cannot help but mention that it seems to me that Blind Micheal is her old Fagin, Devin, writ large. Well, writ huge. I wonder if that made it easier for his glamour to work.)

Thank you for telling me such good stories! :)

May 4 2012, 19:49:18 UTC 5 years ago

You are very welcome. :) Thank you, for reading them.

Beth Woodward

March 15 2012, 18:56:14 UTC 5 years ago

I have to say, I really like that you respond to all the comments. I don't hold it against authors who don't, but I like it that you do. It makes me feel appreciated as your fan and as a person :-)

May 5 2012, 16:03:55 UTC 5 years ago

It can take a long, long time, but I do my very best!

meggins

March 17 2012, 04:45:12 UTC 5 years ago Edited: March 17 2012, 04:47:27 UTC

....people try to grant me comment amnesty. "You don't have to answer this." BUT I DO. I answer comments because I have to answer comm

Heh, heh. Yes, I remember when I tried to do that, but I was new to the list and didn't know about the OCD yet. You were not unpleasant, though. You got the message across without making me feel stupid or squirmy.

I have a couple of others on my FL that anwer every comment. Every comment, bless 'em (though of course they don't get near the number that you do). I'm bad. If it's been "too long" (which sometimes means just two days) I give up and slink off.

May 5 2012, 16:02:34 UTC 5 years ago

I'm currently trying to muck out a 600+ comment backlog, but I go slow and steady, and will eventually win the race. :)

sirfox

March 19 2012, 01:20:51 UTC 5 years ago

Greetings, Seanan. I'm having lots and lots of love for the Toby novels. I was really taken with the Cetacea. From your description, the orca coloring/patterning is pretty much head-to-toe-er, flukes. I was wondering... do they have hair, and does it also go black and white according to patterning?

Would they go in for clothing / jewelery / adornments?

Thanks!

May 5 2012, 16:01:55 UTC 5 years ago

They do have hair, generally all black or all white, although some have striped or mixed hair, and they love adornments. Most females wear shirts, if only because free-floating breasts are not that fun, and both sexes are fond of jewelry and little "extras," as long as they don't snag on things.

kshandra

March 27 2012, 16:11:32 UTC 5 years ago

Something that doesn't appear to have been covered yet: Does being told that something is not time-sensitive from the commenter's perspective hit that same button for you?

March 27 2012, 17:09:44 UTC 5 years ago

Nope.

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A small footnote about dealing with people with OCD.

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