Can't tell a verb from a noun, they're the nicest kids in town.

Dear Ms. McGuire,

It has come to my attention that you have penned a volume (heretofor referred to as one DISCOUNT ARMAGEDDON) which chronicle the dealings of one Ms. Verity Price with the otherwise assumed-to-be-mythical creatures more commonly known as Incryptids.

I am in desperate need of this volume. Your rather extensive and comprehensive website has informed me that this volume will be available nationwide by March, but I'm afraid that will be far, far too late, and so I am petitioning you now in hopes that you might take pity on my plight and lend me an advance look.

You see, I think my girlfriend is a demon bear.

Or at least, I THOUGHT she was, until a friend referred me to your Field Guide, whereupon closer examination, I have come to believe she is what you have described as a...waheela?

The evidence seems to match. The hair in the shower drain, the complete inability (or perhaps mere unwillingness) to grasp my admittedly overly metaphorical loquaciousness, and the fact that she threw my Prius at me when last we disagreed on where to go for dinner.

Plus, there's the fact that she turns into a giant wolf-bear monster, which (I hope you'll forgive me for being crass), is not doing wonderful things for our sex life.

Unfortunately, your Field Guide has not given me much information on how to handle the delicacies of inter-species courtship, and I hope to find more insight via a perusal of DISCOUNT ARMAGEDDON. I would really rather not break up with her if at all possible - she's really quite lovely, when not throwing large automobiles in my direction. (Also, I'm afraid she might throw another one if I were to end things, and as I lack a surplus of automobiles this could be problematic for a number of reasons).

Please, if you think there's any chance DISCOUNT ARMAGEDDON might benefit me and my situation in some way, I beg of you to please send an advance copy post-haste.

With desperation and sincerity,
Gregor St. George
(Who despite the unfortunate coincidence in last names, is absolutely not related to or affiliated with the Covenant of St. George in any way, shape or form.)

(No, seriously. I'm totally not a spy looking for inside information on our agent foes. It's my girlfriend. She's a demon bear. Honest.)

Ancient, not agent. You must see how badly this situation is affecting my well-being....it's even extended to my spelling, which is normally flawless.

Because I teach ballroom dance, and really enjoy your writing.

Because I have had had the first read of the Toby books, and the second read, and read them again, because new info changes interpretations of earlier passages.

Because I want more Seanan creative awesomeness.

Because, if I win, I will also share with at least one other poster in this thread, thus making it a double-win.


CHEESE!

AND!

CAKE!

I would like an ARC so I can add its pages to my paper-mache sculptural incantation to the deities that provide you with your ability to do the jobs of three people, so that I too might learn the secrets of lichdom. ^_^

1) I love your October Daye books, and this will start a new addiction. 2)Because both my daughter and my best friend read your books. 3) I will taut to my Minneapolis women's group as i have your other books

Because the city I live in was devastated by (so far all the ones above 6) 4 very large and violent earthquakes beginning Sept 4 2010 and the worst one being Feb 22 2011 where 188 people died. So far we have clocked up 9811 and still going, and predicted to for the next decade or two.

So I *really* need some good quality writing to entertain and delight, which I will then share with all my likeminded reading friends, encouraging them to try and hopefully buy more of your work. Freight to here is no issue.

Also, this

Arc? hmm... I would end up using it as donation to a charity auction at a non filk convention to get word out for you. (Likely Lunacon's book raffle.) I rather just purchase a copy of the final book when released for my bookshelf. (Likely via Larry Smith Books.)

I have a one month old. I need to, uh, research the cryptids so I know which ones to consider threats to him and how best to handle them if they appear.

(It was either that or threaten to give your protagonists your address, but an appeal to species survival - even writ small - seemed better than threatening the author. As I'd also like to read the sequels which would require you be alive and wanting to write them. ;)

What is an ARC?

I like your work, I just don't want to throw myself into a contest when I don't know what one is. If it's an actual paper book, please consider me entered.

Want! But I'll have to rely on the RNG; I don't think I'm pithy enough to compete with this crowd.

(And I'm trying really hard to come up with a lisping punny thomethingorother to work off of "pithy" and am failing. See?)

Because I love books, and will need the break from work because I will spend the next few days grading exams and essays and will come out the other side a zombie and doesn't everyone love a zombie?

I deserve a copy because I am a cryptic (fact) Hunter. I have spent countless hours in dusty libraries and bookstores viewing and then attempting to collect evidence proving them real....

And I think you're brilliant in the English sense.

My son Dino totally is a Cryptid fanatic, and proposes research projects into jungles to find scientific proof. I so totally know he'd adore this book. Maybe even as much as me.

Because every time I think about Discount Armageddon, I turn into Gollum. we wants it, we needs it, must have the precious...

Because, more bang for your mailing buck.

I read it, then give it for approximately five minutes to: my friend Mike, then his wife Hannah, then their friend Lea, her husband Chris, his friend Jack, and finally back to my husband, who, after five minutes of reading the amazingness, all went out and purchased copies. [This happened with both Rosemary and Rue and Feed, that I know of.]

Also, I am a librarian and my husband works at a family shelter, so the ARC will either go into circulation at my library, or into the book bin at the shelter for more and more signal boosting.

Because in the past year I have managed to convince eight friends and two relatives to buy their own copies of all of the Toby Daye books. I have also managed to convince four friends to buy their own copies of Feed and Deadline. You wouldn't even be losing money if the book came to me!

I should get an ARC because I totally made my aunt a fan of Toby! I suggested that she check the books out, and she told me at Christmas that she'd bought and read them all and loved them. :) (I meant to tell you this anyway, but I forgot. Until now!)

*hugs*

I should receive this ARC because a) I'll be buying it anyway, b) it's been a "Chinese curse" interesting month, including a divorce in my immediate family and a stomach virus that means I have to clean up a lot of puke from the hallway because my darling son decided to try to update me BEFORE throwing up instead of afterwards, c) I have several fleabites on the /bottom of my feet/ and because I lost the presidential election!

After >25 years as a technical writer/editor, I've bloody earned something to read I won't feel compelled to edit as I do so.

because i have faith in the random number generator.

I shoould win a copy because I'm crazy in love with your other series. I went to Golden Gate Park with a can of tuna to try and lure Tybalt out: (TRUE STORY):



Also! I bought my roommate all of your books for Christmas instead of letting him borrow my copies.

Also! I really love sushi. That counts for something right?

Also! I will send you a weird Seattle Microbrew in return!

See? I should totally win!

Because I haven't been able to get a copy yet, and I sincerely would like it.

Grammar Kitty is NOT amused!!

Grammar Kitty also wants to read more adventures of Alice and Toby!

I've already re-re-re-read everything and hunger for my Seanan!!