Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: chipper
  • Music: Hem, "Night Like a River."

Cats silently judge you all the time. Sometimes not so silently.

So I'm sitting here at my desk, trying to get some work done before Chris* gets here, and the cats keep telling me that I am failing. I am failing as a human being, failing as an author, and most importantly, failing as a monkey. I am not a) petting them, b) brushing them, c) letting them stick their claws in my thighs, d) feeding them, or e) going to the back room where they can sprawl on me and purr loudly, like I was a dragon they had just felled through sheer force of arms.

I think this is why so many authors have cats. They're always happy to tell us that we're flawed, and equally happy to tell us that they love us anyway, as long as we do what they want us to do. It's a perfect preparation for life as a working writer! Although most writers don't have cats that can actually physically restrain them when they feel the need (in other news, Thomas has had a growth spurt).

I really need to a) clean my room, and b) spend a few hours just taking pictures of toys, because most of them are creepy, and they watch me sleep, so you need to understand just how creepy they are. I want you to understand my pain. The cats do not mess with the creepy dolls. That's how creepy the creepy dolls are.

I don't think this post has a point beyond "life goes on." So this is my still life with cats and dolls. Happy Saturday!

(*Chris. One of my dearest friends of the last decade, although he lives just far enough away that I don't see him more than once or twice a month, and he doesn't do many conventions, so most people won't have met him. He's my horror movie buddy. This is just one of the many, many grenades which he cheerfully throws himself upon.)
Tags: cats, local news, toys are nice
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  • 61 comments

markbernstein

September 10 2011, 20:06:35 UTC 5 years ago

The other advantage of taking pictures of the creepy toys is that once you've stolen their souls, you have more control over them.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:04:14 UTC 5 years ago

True!

dornbeast

5 years ago

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morvab

September 10 2011, 20:10:35 UTC 5 years ago

Your cats are so pretty! But yes, love the constant explanation of how you are a miserable excuse for a human being if you are not waiting on their every whim or assuming the position to be lain on. I like the dragon analogy - I always feel a bit like I am the prey that the leopard has just stashed in the crotch of a tree to ripen, while he lies on it and purrs. Alan and I are both especially fond of the claws in thigh reminders. Also wondering - if one clips claws on Friday, how do they manage to be so pointy and hooky again within 24 hours? Do they use the pencil sharpener, do you suppose?

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:04:43 UTC 5 years ago

I think they have emery boards.

martianmooncrab

September 10 2011, 20:17:25 UTC 5 years ago

still life with cats

no such thing, its propaganda... they are constantly in motion, or thinking of motion, or plotting..

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:04:57 UTC 5 years ago

Truth.

priscellie

September 10 2011, 20:27:43 UTC 5 years ago

A growth spurt? So Thomas is now the approximate mass of a Bengal tiger?

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:05:14 UTC 5 years ago

Getting there. Rapidly.

netpositive

5 years ago

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klwilliams

September 10 2011, 21:14:20 UTC 5 years ago

I want a bunny from the Morbid Bunny of the Month Club, but I doubt it would be creepy. Perhaps not even morbid.

I'm reading "Rosemary and Rue," and it has pulled me away from admiring the French countryside. That's how good it is.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:06:10 UTC 5 years ago

Yay!

Thank you. People are so happy with book five that I feel a little, like, weren't the other ones nice, too? That pleases me.

drcpunk

5 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

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jane_dark

5 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

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madtom_o_bedlam

September 10 2011, 21:14:43 UTC 5 years ago

If Thomas keeps growing you're going to have to feed him live prey. Are there many spare neighbor children?

Also I'm glad that you're posting about your cats again. I love most of your posts, but always enjoy the cats.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:06:46 UTC 5 years ago

I dislike the neighbors. I am not putting them in my cat.

madtom_o_bedlam

5 years ago

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bookblather

September 10 2011, 21:25:05 UTC 5 years ago

I fully expect to see Thomas rampaging through downtown San Francisco someday. And by rampaging, I mean wandering around, rubbing against buildings demanding pettings, and occasionally batting at passing cars and airplanes.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:07:02 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, pretty much.

lauowolf

5 years ago

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keristor

5 years ago

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dinogrl

September 10 2011, 22:20:10 UTC 5 years ago

Spike has been discontent as well. I guess that is why teachers have cats too. Uh Oh. He just hid. That is NOT good.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:07:19 UTC 5 years ago

Nooooooooooooo you're gonna diiiiiiiiiiie.

mariadkins

September 10 2011, 22:48:11 UTC 5 years ago

my cat is sitting here staring at me like i've failed too. although at what i can't fathom - other than extra pettings.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:07:59 UTC 5 years ago

That is what is wanted.

mariadkins

5 years ago

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dormouse_in_tea

September 10 2011, 23:09:02 UTC 5 years ago

Chris! Cats! Creepy dolls!

You just need Cookies, now.

(and I need to get JoCo out of my head...)

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:08:19 UTC 5 years ago

And there's a creepy doll...

dormouse_in_tea

5 years ago

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filkferengi

5 years ago

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scamis

September 10 2011, 23:10:26 UTC 5 years ago

"If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain

They don't think you are a failure. They make benign allowances for your shortcomings. However, being cats, they make sure that you know it.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:08:33 UTC 5 years ago

Truth.

yellowblackhaze

September 11 2011, 00:11:48 UTC 5 years ago

I can relate to the creepy toys, it's why I made my wife put most of her bears in another room. I can handle a few, but when there are enough to overpower us physically whilst we sleep...ugh!

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:09:01 UTC 5 years ago

That is where the line of "creepy" is truly crossed, yes.

mariadkins

5 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:09:14 UTC 5 years ago

Oops!

vincentursus

September 11 2011, 00:58:19 UTC 5 years ago

I appreciate your clever use of metaphor and foreshadowing.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:09:31 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you. :)

elucreh

September 11 2011, 01:45:45 UTC 5 years ago

Hey guess what. I love you.

seanan_mcguire

September 11 2011, 03:09:54 UTC 5 years ago

Guess what! I love you, too.

indilwen

September 11 2011, 03:41:16 UTC 5 years ago

in other news, Thomas has had a growth spurt.

YAY. I love when big cats get bigger :)

Yes, please, to creepy doll pictures!

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:08:59 UTC 5 years ago

They shall come.

bercilakslady

September 11 2011, 04:41:35 UTC 5 years ago

Creepy dolls include such things as cabbage patch dolls and barbies. There's a reason I only have stuffed animals. :)

dornbeast

September 11 2011, 05:22:53 UTC 5 years ago

With proper psychological preparation, even stuffed animals can be creepy.

(I have plush Pinky and The Brain in Christmas colors. I once set them in view of a friend while he was asleep, knowing that he watched the show even more than I did. The yelp of panic was worth the wait.)

seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

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paksenarrion2

September 11 2011, 05:35:09 UTC 5 years ago

Nothing like waking up at 6 in the morning to see a cat staring intently at you. With a look of hunger on his face. It is very unnerving.

But when he turns around and starts purring loudly when I start petting him, my fears are quelled.

I do love being owned by my cat.

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:09:23 UTC 5 years ago

Yes. Me, too. :)

mythusmage

September 11 2011, 06:02:31 UTC 5 years ago

Rats have a parasite which makes them act strange around cats. An infected rat will seek out a cat whenever he smells cats pee. When he finds the cat he will rush up to him. Most of the time the cat will kill and eat the rat. Which is what the parasite wants, because the parasite can only breed sexually inside a cat.

But sometimes the cat won't kill and eat the rat. What the rat does then is try to be with the cat all the time, going so far as to sleep with the cat. In addition, the rat will offer the cat food.

Cats like being with people. Cats like to sleep with people. Cats will offer us food.

Humans like God. Humans want to be with God. Humans offer sacrifices to God, mostly food of one type or another. You get the feeling a certain parasite is getting a little too big for its britches?

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:09:54 UTC 5 years ago

A form of toxoplasmosis that causes religious mania would be awesome, because it would be curable.

vettecat

September 11 2011, 16:09:33 UTC 5 years ago

Looking forward to cat pictures with the toy pictures...?

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:10:03 UTC 5 years ago

No.

vettecat

5 years ago

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mel_redcap

September 11 2011, 18:26:22 UTC 5 years ago

Ahem.

http://melredcap.deviantart.com/gallery/?catpath=scraps#/d2meizl

XD

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:10:09 UTC 5 years ago

Heeeeee.

triskelmoon

September 11 2011, 19:45:34 UTC 5 years ago

Although most writers don't have cats that can actually physically restrain them when they feel the need

Oh, I hear that. The 20lbs of Big&Fluffy has decided that he does NOT approve of how often I am out of the house and needs to pin me down by laying on my chest at every available opportunity. Like right now.

Also: YAY CREEPY DOLLS

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:10:26 UTC 5 years ago

Heavy cats like to throw their weight around!

keristor

September 12 2011, 10:13:54 UTC 5 years ago

Massive cats! Creepy dolls!

BTW, having finished OSS -- "Seanan, you bastard!" (You know UK filkers enough to know how we mean that.) Made me giggle, and hold my breath Until I Died Srsly, and cry. Not quite all at the same time (have you ever tried holding your breath and giggling at the same time? It doesn't work, a bit like Baden Powell's instruction to Boy Scouts to keep a stiff upper lip and smile and whistle at all times).

Sometime (oh, Copious Spare Time) I must go back and reread the others as well. The 'best' is always "the one I'm reading" (the same with music, my favourite is usually what I'm listening to at the time if it's on by my choice), and I suspect that they are different enough to not be able to make a sensible comparison anyway.

But -- you bastard! I love you...

seanan_mcguire

September 12 2011, 15:10:48 UTC 5 years ago

Thanks, sweetie. :) I love you, too.