enragedSome of you may have breathed a sigh of relief when you realized that you had entered a relatively feline-free zone. "Finally," you said. "She's going to talk about something that doesn't meow." Others may have been concerned. (I've heard from the concerned contingent, not from the relieved, but I have no trouble with the idea that both sides exist. Honestly, I don't demand that anyone be interested in everything I have to say, and that includes my cats, machete collection, horror movies, the X-Men, and candy corn.) Even more of you may well have been confused, given how focal cats have traditionally been around here. But I haven't been blogging about my cats.
John Scalzi has just made a lengthy post about the shit female bloggers get that he doesn't get. Go and read it. I'll be honest: after more than a decade on the internet, I find his experiences to be pretty spot-on. I make a controversial comment, I get death threats, comments about my weight, accusations of bitchiness, comments about my weight, offers to "fuck the stupid" out of me, comments about my weight, insults, comments about my weight, and, best of all, people swearing up, down, and sideways that I deserve whatever I get. It's been a few years since I've had a really bad troll problem, but when I had one, it was...
It was bad. It was "Kate monitored my journal and deleted comments before I could see them" bad, with a side order of feeling sick every time I considered getting online. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, and I was scared all the time. It's invasive, and it's scary. Cracks about my weight aside, I'm not that big, and if someone wanted to fuck me up, they could. Easily. (Is this a motivator for my large and oft-discussed machete collection? Possible! Anybody comes to my house with the intent of doing me a mischief in the woods, they will not be thrilled by the results.)
And I haven't been blogging about my cats recently.
I'll be honest: I understand people being dicks for the sake of being dicks. We're all a little mean when we've had a bad day. My mother used to snap at me, even though she loved me. Sometimes I pick fights with my friends, or snarl at my co-workers. Human nature sometimes trends toward asshole, and no matter how hard we work to control it, it's going to happen. What I don't understand is why being a dick towards a woman on the internet so often turns into a) threats of violence, b) sexual insults, c) threats of sexual violence, or d) comments about perceived attractiveness/weight. Or violence toward the things that woman loves.
I haven't been blogging about my cats recently, because someone has been sending me email, from dummy accounts, threatening to kill my cats. In graphic detail. They know what my cats look like, thanks to the amount of blogging I have done in the past, and they've been able to get really, really specific in what they're going to do. Why? Because I got my cats from a breeder, and not from a shelter, and that means I need to suffer in order to understand the suffering of the cats waiting for adoption. "Bitch," "cunt," and "whore" feature heavily in these emails, which is always a nice seasoning for my rage and terror stew. It's all very gender-specific.
And they're threatening to kill my cats.
So no, I'm not going to talk about them right now; not until this email stops, not until the trolls find something else to chew on. And yes, I realize that making this post may reawaken some of my old trolls (and oh, Great Pumpkin, I hate it so much that I even have to take that into consideration), so I'm going to be watching comments carefully. Anything insulting will be deleted. Anything malicious will result in an immediate banning. I mean that. I am not going to let that shit stand.
We need to stop acting this way toward one another. We need to remember that there are humans on the other side of all those keyboards. We need to be decent human beings, because otherwise, everything is going to fall apart.
And none of this changes the fact that if the fucker who's been telling me what he's going to do to my babies comes anywhere near them, I will probably be going to prison for assault.
Some days I hate being a girl.
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September 5 2011, 14:35:49 UTC 5 years ago
As a shelter worker, an animal lover, and someone who is more or less against breeding I feel the need to Apologize profusely. I know a lot of us are rabid people, but of all the counter-productive, idiotic things to do threatening the very creatures we work to protect is not only ridiculously crewel, but idiotic and against all that we stand for.
I promise we're not all like that. While i might encourage you to adopt next time, I would do nothing more than squee, faun and pet on any cat that let me. Bred or adopted.
I am beyond sorry someone who represents the same work I do did this to you.
September 5 2011, 15:39:17 UTC 5 years ago
While I do have an overall comment amnesty on this post (to keep my head from exploding), I have explained my reasons for going to reputable, responsible breeders, rather than shelters in the past. It's not something that's going to change, but it's also not something I think should; we need shelters and people who are legitimately devoted to sustaining the diversity of the feline gene pool.
Thank you again for commenting. I do appreciate it, and I know not all animal rescue workers are like that. I am one, after all. :)
September 5 2011, 15:51:08 UTC 5 years ago
Also that was a great post. i think "If you can't be nice to my cats, you leave them the fuck alone." is probably one of my favorite ending lines.
September 5 2011, 16:02:21 UTC 5 years ago
I don't know why people feel the need to be nasty to women, I don't understand it and I don't tolerate it. A few years back someone was really being nasty to some of my LJ female friends, I gave them a dose of nasty right back and told them where they could go in no uncertain terms. They never bothered my friends again.
And if someone does attack your cats, or you, they're likely the ones that will go to jail. They started the altercation, you were defending yourself. BTW you should keep as many of the offending emails/posts as you can to back up the fact you were being bullied, harassed and threatened. It's called 'evidence' in court and is useful just in case someone does stop being a verbally abusive asshat and takes it to the next level.
Just remember, for every asshat you have dozens of fans. Also, no matter what, your cats love you. I mean how else are they going to get fed without their two footed slave to open the cans?
September 6 2011, 02:18:47 UTC 5 years ago
Also, *hugs* to you and your kitties.
September 6 2011, 16:12:38 UTC 5 years ago
Eowyn is less distressed but sends her regards:
September 6 2011, 19:22:32 UTC 5 years ago
WTH?
Here from
September 7 2011, 23:28:27 UTC 5 years ago
No need for a comment, naturally.
September 11 2011, 16:47:45 UTC 5 years ago Edited: September 11 2011, 16:48:08 UTC
I work in an animal rescue. When it comes to adoption, I think people should adopt shelter cats. We have 170 available right now. But I also know several breeders. They are responsible people who love their breeds, and through careful, selective breeding, they produce a small amount of healthy animals each year. It's the backyard breeders and mills I object to.
Anyone who would threaten an animal, regardless of where the owner got it from, needs to be taken out and shot. I've seen enough abused animals to last me through several lifetimes, and if I were ever met any of those people on the street, I would kill them.
September 12 2011, 15:14:25 UTC 5 years ago
Every cat is deserving of love. Every cat deserves a home. I am glad there are people helping that to happen.
September 18 2011, 17:52:32 UTC 5 years ago
I have Siberian Huskies, and Maddox, my black and white, came from a breeder. He was my first pupster husky, and I love him beyond reason. Shelby, my red and white girl, is a rescue. I chose to go with a breeder for Maddox because I wanted a puppy (how dare I!) and this was a new, challenging breed for me (Springers in the past) and yeah, I paid big bucks for him, and got him fixed when it was time. No regrets, no unwanted puppies in this house.
Your cats are gorgeous. I am thinking they are Maine Coons maybe? They love you no less for having a known past than a rescue cat would, and they deserved life no less. That person would do better to spend their energies campaigning for lower-cost spaying and neutering, than harrass someone who is being a, no doubt, marvelous cat owner, just as I am a fabulous Siberian Husky owner (which isn't always easy!).
(and, aside from all that...cannot WAIT for the next Mira Grant--OH YOU! LOL!)
September 20 2011, 01:18:48 UTC 5 years ago
Yay, Huskies! Such beautiful dogs.
September 20 2011, 02:22:33 UTC 5 years ago
Saw your gorgeous Siamese...beautiful cats. Just beautiful.
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