So you're having a breakdown...: seanan

So you're having a breakdown...

My house was broken into yesterday.

I had managed to leave my house keys on the floor next to my bed when I left for work, so I called my mother and arranged for her to pick me up from the train station. The Great Pumpkin was looking out for me; if she hadn't given me a ride, I would have come home alone, less than twenty minutes after I did.

When we reached the house, we saw a razor scooter parked next to the trash cans. "Huh," I said. "I wonder what that's doing there?" But we dismissed it as having been left by one of the neighborhood kids, and kept going.

There was a large Aaron Brothers bag, and a backpack, in the front yard. "That's weird," I said. But we decided it probably belonged to my little sister, who will sometimes put things in odd places while she does other stuff, and we kept going.

Inside, the cats were in a state of high dudgeon—even moreso than normal for a weekday afternoon—and appeared to have expressed their unhappiness by knocking a bunch of stuff over. Mom scolded them amiably while I started for the fridge to get a soda, and saw that Alex's bedroom door was open. His room is one of the only places in the house the cats aren't allowed. I thought "wow, lots of mischief," and went to close it...

...only to find that his bedside table had been cleared onto the bed. And the door to the laundry room was open. And the door connecting the laundry room to the back was open. And the DVD player was gone.

Cue freaking right the fuck out.

Mom searched the house while I got the stuff out of the front yard. The bags proved to contain everything that was missing: the DVD player, Alex's computer (mine was untouched), a bunch of small electronics, a few DVDs. (Ironically, our thief only took Firefly-related material. So we're looking for an asshole Browncoat. Nice!) The Aaron Brothers bag was mine, which explains why my pictures were scattered all over the floor.

After a heart-stopping moment of not being able to find Lilly, we got ourselves calmed mostly down, and Mom went to the hardware store to get new locks while I called the police. An officer came out and took my statement; we walked the perimeter, and found that the hide-a-key (which I didn't know existed until I called Alex) was missing. So that's probably how they got inside.

We think we came home and surprised the thief in the process of going back in for another load. That's why we found all their stuff (and the scooter). Had I come home alone, they would probably have still been there. And I would have walked in on them, without a car to warn that I was coming.

Alex got home and confirmed that all his stuff was there. Mom changed the locks. Victor and Lara came and took me for dinner. The cats got fussed over. And I took a machete to bed.

So...

1. Nothing is missing.
2. In fact, net gain: I have the thief's scooter.
3. We think it was a teenage boy, based on the scooter, the things grabbed, and the fact that none of my girly things were touched.
4. Alex is working from home today, so the house is not empty.
5. The cats are fine.
6. I will be sleeping with a machete for the foreseeable future.

It's an ignite the biosphere kind of day.

sleary

August 5 2011, 18:55:34 UTC 5 years ago

New comment

(Ironically, our thief only took Firefly-related material. So we're looking for an asshole Browncoat. Nice!)

Oh, that is JUST NOT RIGHT.

Dear thieves of the world: You are welcome to the copy of Gigli I "won" in an office white elephant exchange, but you leave my Firefly the hell alone!

*sympathies*

wake_the_dragon

August 5 2011, 18:58:49 UTC 5 years ago

Somehow the theif being a Browncoat just crosses a line all by itself.

seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

mariadkins

August 5 2011, 18:55:37 UTC 5 years ago

incredible. at least you got a scooter out of the deal. ;)

August 6 2011, 15:14:19 UTC 5 years ago

True!

Deleted comment

August 6 2011, 15:19:24 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you.

roadnotes

August 5 2011, 18:59:36 UTC 5 years ago

Bloody fucking hell. I'm glad the cats are all right, and that nothing was actually taken. Now to find the owner of the scooter and have a long talk with him....

If you don't sell the scooter, take it apart and hang the pieces from a tree, as a less-than-subtle hint.

August 6 2011, 15:19:47 UTC 5 years ago

I want to ride it up and down the street in my Hugo dress, shrieking "WHEE!"

sdelmonte

August 5 2011, 18:59:41 UTC 5 years ago

Sends more hugs and machete polish.

August 6 2011, 15:20:01 UTC 5 years ago

Thanks, darlin'.

August 5 2011, 19:00:38 UTC 5 years ago

I'm glad no one was hurt and that the theif didn't manage to get away with any of your stuff. And I sympathize break-ins are frightening as hell.

August 6 2011, 15:20:11 UTC 5 years ago

sinanju

August 5 2011, 19:00:43 UTC 5 years ago

Well, if you HAD to have a break-in, it could hardly have gone better from your point of view.

I'm pleased to hear that you didn't lose anything, and nobody was hurt. And _maybe_ the would-be thief learned something from losing his scooter in the process. Probably not, but we can hope.

August 6 2011, 15:20:28 UTC 5 years ago

Hope is good that way.

I love your icon.

ashabardon

August 5 2011, 19:00:55 UTC 5 years ago

Oh Gods, I'm so glad that the kittehs and you are okay! That's awful but yay on the new motorcycle.

/hugs

August 6 2011, 15:20:43 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, it's cluttering my front room right now.

loree

August 5 2011, 19:01:19 UTC 5 years ago

I can empathize - a few years back, I came home to a robbery in progress. I was slightly comforted by the ~90 second response time to the second call to 911, and got the BIG BLACK SCARY-LOOKING DOG soon after.

August 6 2011, 15:20:56 UTC 5 years ago

Yay scary dog!

catnip13

August 5 2011, 19:02:58 UTC 5 years ago

*hugs* I'm glad it isn't as bad as it could have been. Still wish it hadn't happened.

August 6 2011, 15:21:06 UTC 5 years ago

Me, too.

jimhines

August 5 2011, 19:08:22 UTC 5 years ago

Like everyone else, I'm glad you and the cats are okay (for certain values of "okay" that exclude oh-shit-someone-broke-into-my-freaking-house!), and that things weren't worse.

Stifling the urge to offer advice, as I trust you and the police have this covered, and you'd ask if you wanted such.

If you need to vent or talk or whatever, you've got my number and I've got no plans for the next few days.

August 6 2011, 15:21:25 UTC 5 years ago

Thanks, honey. I may well take you up on that.

vixyish

August 5 2011, 20:23:29 UTC 5 years ago

I asked about prints too, but apparently the surfaces were no good for such things. :/

tiferet

August 5 2011, 19:24:05 UTC 5 years ago

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am glad you didn't lose anything, which wasn't clear from your tweets!

When I was 16 someone broke into a house that I shared with my dad while he was away on a holiday. Nothing was taken but they dumped all the garbage out on the floor, which was awful to clean, and ransacked my filing cabinet. Which they also dumped out on the floor in complete disarray.

I think (my dad taught business at a small local school) that they were looking for test answers or something like that, and were very annoyed to find nothing but a bunch of Star Trek fanfiction and my notes from various classes I took, not realising that Dad kept all that in his office and I was the one who needed a file cabinet at home.

I can't believe a Browncoat did this.

But on the other hand when I was married and my husband had a car, they took the stereo, some Cantopop CDs--and a pair of pigs we had hanging from the rearview mirror. Weirdly, it was the pigs that hurt. We'd met in the year of the pig.

madfilkentist

August 5 2011, 19:33:03 UTC 5 years ago

I can't believe a Browncoat did this.

No, it must have been an Alliance guy.

encarmencita

ravens_shadow

August 5 2011, 19:27:10 UTC 5 years ago

I'm sure you'll get a lot of these, but I am so glad everyone's okay, and you went home with someone, the cats are fine albeit freaked out, and that you got all your stuff back.

I think you should hold onto the scooter for a while and ride it around the neighborhood, taunting this fool before you sell it. (This idiot, making the Browncoats look bad.)

August 6 2011, 15:24:55 UTC 5 years ago

I wish I knew how to ride a scooter, because I so would.

August 5 2011, 19:31:23 UTC 5 years ago

That's really scary, but your timing was good. Good for Victor and Lara, and having a machete close at hand sounds like a good plan. Try not to roll over onto it, though.

August 6 2011, 15:25:08 UTC 5 years ago

I am pretty good at not gutting myself.

autographedcat

August 5 2011, 19:33:58 UTC 5 years ago

Oh dear gods. *hugs you tight*

August 6 2011, 15:25:23 UTC 5 years ago

*hugs*

jennygriffee

August 5 2011, 19:34:21 UTC 5 years ago

I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was, but that's still bad enough that it happened at all. I'm sorry. :( Fingers crossed that the asshole got spooked good and proper, and I hope you're doing all right!

and now I have the terrible temptation to go all Princess Bride here and shout, "Have fun igniting the biosphere!" ahem.

August 6 2011, 15:25:41 UTC 5 years ago

I so want to ignite it. I SO WANT TO.

vettecat

August 5 2011, 19:40:47 UTC 5 years ago

Wow. Very glad that you weren't alone, the cats are OK, and you got your stuff back!

August 6 2011, 15:25:52 UTC 5 years ago

priscellie

August 5 2011, 19:42:57 UTC 5 years ago

I'm so relieved the cats are safe and your stuff is un-taken! It sucks to high heaven you have to put up with such nastiness.

August 6 2011, 15:26:08 UTC 5 years ago

ktsparrow

August 5 2011, 19:46:47 UTC 5 years ago

Ugh. Such things are so unsettling. Glad it wasn't a worse outcome.

August 6 2011, 15:26:15 UTC 5 years ago

4byz4me

August 5 2011, 19:49:56 UTC 5 years ago

So glad kitties are safe and you got there in time to thwart the thief. I haven't had the house broken into but we have had our cars broken into, right in front of our house a couple of times and it's very unnerving.

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} and keep that machete close.

August 6 2011, 15:26:26 UTC 5 years ago

I will.

spectralbovine

August 5 2011, 19:55:35 UTC 5 years ago

Jesus Christ. I'm glad nothing ended up stolen and no one was hurt.

*hugs*

August 6 2011, 15:26:33 UTC 5 years ago

groblek

August 5 2011, 20:02:08 UTC 5 years ago

I'm very glad to hear that the cats are safe! (I read your first line and immediately went "Oh God, the cats!") Also, glad to hear that you recovered your belongings.

I'm amused (as in mad scientist evil laugh) that you now have their scooter. I'd have trouble resisting the urge to put it back outside with either a tracking device or nasty surprise attached.

As a side note, if you haven't done so before, I highly recommend photographing any belongings you consider precious, for ease of reclaiming them after something like this. I have a friend who managed to get some of her jewelry back after a robbery thanks to her husband's fondness for photography.

August 6 2011, 15:26:47 UTC 5 years ago

I will definitely do this thing.

rabbit_foofoo

August 5 2011, 20:02:55 UTC 5 years ago

geek thief :/ look for someone dressed as captain tight pants or using a pocket protector :p

August 6 2011, 15:26:54 UTC 5 years ago

Will do.

ladymondegreen

August 5 2011, 20:04:22 UTC 5 years ago

The Great Pumpkin truly is looking out for you. I'm so glad this wasn't worse. I'm glad that you and the cats are okay and that none of your stuff left the premises. I can just imagine the horror of having your laptop taken. *shudders*

*pets the kitten nieces and nephew and makes you a pumpkin parfait with a stiff shot of rum in*

August 6 2011, 15:27:05 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you, sweetie.

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