So you're having a breakdown...: seanan

So you're having a breakdown...

My house was broken into yesterday.

I had managed to leave my house keys on the floor next to my bed when I left for work, so I called my mother and arranged for her to pick me up from the train station. The Great Pumpkin was looking out for me; if she hadn't given me a ride, I would have come home alone, less than twenty minutes after I did.

When we reached the house, we saw a razor scooter parked next to the trash cans. "Huh," I said. "I wonder what that's doing there?" But we dismissed it as having been left by one of the neighborhood kids, and kept going.

There was a large Aaron Brothers bag, and a backpack, in the front yard. "That's weird," I said. But we decided it probably belonged to my little sister, who will sometimes put things in odd places while she does other stuff, and we kept going.

Inside, the cats were in a state of high dudgeon—even moreso than normal for a weekday afternoon—and appeared to have expressed their unhappiness by knocking a bunch of stuff over. Mom scolded them amiably while I started for the fridge to get a soda, and saw that Alex's bedroom door was open. His room is one of the only places in the house the cats aren't allowed. I thought "wow, lots of mischief," and went to close it...

...only to find that his bedside table had been cleared onto the bed. And the door to the laundry room was open. And the door connecting the laundry room to the back was open. And the DVD player was gone.

Cue freaking right the fuck out.

Mom searched the house while I got the stuff out of the front yard. The bags proved to contain everything that was missing: the DVD player, Alex's computer (mine was untouched), a bunch of small electronics, a few DVDs. (Ironically, our thief only took Firefly-related material. So we're looking for an asshole Browncoat. Nice!) The Aaron Brothers bag was mine, which explains why my pictures were scattered all over the floor.

After a heart-stopping moment of not being able to find Lilly, we got ourselves calmed mostly down, and Mom went to the hardware store to get new locks while I called the police. An officer came out and took my statement; we walked the perimeter, and found that the hide-a-key (which I didn't know existed until I called Alex) was missing. So that's probably how they got inside.

We think we came home and surprised the thief in the process of going back in for another load. That's why we found all their stuff (and the scooter). Had I come home alone, they would probably have still been there. And I would have walked in on them, without a car to warn that I was coming.

Alex got home and confirmed that all his stuff was there. Mom changed the locks. Victor and Lara came and took me for dinner. The cats got fussed over. And I took a machete to bed.

So...

1. Nothing is missing.
2. In fact, net gain: I have the thief's scooter.
3. We think it was a teenage boy, based on the scooter, the things grabbed, and the fact that none of my girly things were touched.
4. Alex is working from home today, so the house is not empty.
5. The cats are fine.
6. I will be sleeping with a machete for the foreseeable future.

It's an ignite the biosphere kind of day.

shinga

August 5 2011, 18:31:22 UTC 5 years ago

New comment

Oh wow! I'm glad everything is okay though... and hey, a scooter to sell? Heh :)

seanan_mcguire

August 5 2011, 18:37:02 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, I was like, fuck you, asshole, I GOT YOUR SCOOTER.

5 years ago

August 5 2011, 18:31:42 UTC 5 years ago

oh god(s), that's horrible! i'm glad you got your stuff back and i hope you're ok.

August 5 2011, 18:37:11 UTC 5 years ago

Shaken, unhurt.

sirriamnis

August 5 2011, 18:33:03 UTC 5 years ago

I'm so glad nothing was actually taken, and that the cats are fine. I worry about that a lot, that if we ever get broken into they'll leave a door open and the cats will get out. Anything else can be replaced.

August 5 2011, 18:37:19 UTC 5 years ago

That was my fear, too.

filkertom

August 5 2011, 18:34:37 UTC 5 years ago

Oh man. Oh man. Hugs and shoulder on call, at your service. So glad no one was hurt, so glad nothing was missing.

August 5 2011, 18:37:28 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you, sweetie.

ceitfianna

August 5 2011, 18:37:30 UTC 5 years ago Edited: August 5 2011, 18:38:43 UTC

I'm glad nothing was taken and no one was hurt. Be gentle with yourself in terms of feeling better.

I've never been through being robbed but I did once have my apartment building be set on fire and it shook me far more than I realized.

August 5 2011, 19:54:17 UTC 5 years ago

Our homes being invaded is shattering.

brightlotusmoon

vulpine137

August 5 2011, 18:38:24 UTC 5 years ago

Glad nothing physical was taken, and the cats are fine. Keep the machete close, and the scooter hostage.

August 5 2011, 19:54:27 UTC 5 years ago

Basically, yeah.

copperwise

August 5 2011, 18:39:11 UTC 5 years ago

SO glad the cats are OK, that you are OK, and that you had a net gain. Love you much.

I'd put up a found ad around the neighborhood with a picture of the scooter...

catnip13

August 5 2011, 18:55:21 UTC 5 years ago

I'd put up a found ad around the neighborhood with a picture of the scooter...

*giggles* That is mad-brilliant.

Deleted comment

August 5 2011, 19:54:44 UTC 5 years ago

Me, too.

myuki_chan

August 5 2011, 18:40:36 UTC 5 years ago

I'm glad everyone is safe, including the cats. Hugs to you.

August 6 2011, 15:06:20 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you.

themysteriousg

August 5 2011, 18:41:19 UTC 5 years ago

Omanomanoman. I pulled up to my front door open and Kiki standing in the doorway on April 26 2010. It didn't register for me either--couldn't figure out why in the hell Kevin had left the front door haning open. I mean really. And then I pulled into the driveway and my landlord was there and I thought "why in the hell was Jim in the house without letting me know in advance and he knows I have a cat wtf?" closely followed by "ohshit. ohshit. thank god Jim is here so he can walk in the house with me and thank god I left a meeting early and came home before picking up the smalls."

We got knocked off pretty badly. Though the worst loss was Lily's Cindarella jewelry box not even full of plastic jewelry because, who steals from a freaking 4 year old?

I am SO very sorry. It's the worst feeling. I'm glad all the stuff is there and bonus! scooter to sell and more importantly, fingerprint. I hope the police were kind.

So very sorry. I still do the door check every time I come home.

August 6 2011, 15:06:57 UTC 5 years ago

I am so glad Kiki was okay! And yeah. I checked the locks at least eight times last night.

arielstarshadow

August 5 2011, 18:42:09 UTC 5 years ago

1. I am glad you and everyone else (including the fur monsters) are OK.
2. Stupid asshole thief!
3. Maybe the police can track the asshole down by looking up who owns the scooter? Or do they not have to have license plates?
4. Stupid asshole thief!
5. Keep your eyes peeled, because I'd bet dollars to doughnuts the little asshole will come "looking" to see if he can find/grab his scooter, in which case you can ~~string him up~~ ~~beat him about the head with a club~~ maybe call the cops and have them arrest him.
6. Stupid asshole thief!

vixyish

August 5 2011, 20:21:44 UTC 5 years ago

3. A razor scooter is the kind you stand on and push with one foot, not the kind that is motorized. Like a narrow skateboard with handlebars.

archangelbeth

mpoetess

August 5 2011, 18:42:16 UTC 5 years ago

That blows, from someone who's had almost exactly the same experience, including AAAAGH CRAP WHERE ARE THE CATS, COUNT EVERY ONE TWICE. *HUG* (But HA on fuck you, I've got your scooter, because that's a minor moment of awesome.)

August 6 2011, 15:07:30 UTC 5 years ago

Can't have it back, either, asshole.

janetmiles

August 5 2011, 18:42:34 UTC 5 years ago

I am so relieved that everyone is okay and that your property is still yours. I hope that your sense of safety recuperates swiftly.

August 6 2011, 15:07:39 UTC 5 years ago

Me, too. :(

misachan

August 5 2011, 18:43:31 UTC 5 years ago

Good God. It's like Toby's luck is rubbing off on you. And I'm so appalled that the little punk was a Firely fan! Captain Reynolds would not approve.

You should put flyers up around the neighborhood saying you found the scooter and see if the theif's dumb enough to claim it. You know. For science.

August 6 2011, 15:07:51 UTC 5 years ago

Science is important!

August 6 2011, 15:08:01 UTC 5 years ago

katiebabs

August 5 2011, 18:44:05 UTC 5 years ago

Glad no one was hurt, including the kitties. But still, it feels like you're violated when someone enters your home uninvited and steals things.

Major hugs.

August 6 2011, 15:11:32 UTC 5 years ago

wyldirishtric

August 5 2011, 18:44:55 UTC 5 years ago

I'm glad that everyone is safe and no one was harmed! I saw it on twitter, and my first concerns were a) that you and housemate were alright, and b) the cats were ok!

August 6 2011, 15:11:56 UTC 5 years ago

The cats were the first thing I thought of. Followed by my laptop. Thus are my priorities revealed.

random_girl

August 5 2011, 18:45:21 UTC 5 years ago

Post pictures of the scooter, indicating is has been "found" and you wish to return it to its rightful owner.

Do not bring the machete if someone comes to claim it. Do call the police. Your bad guy might be a browncoat, but he could also be a loser idiot just the same.

If no one responds (or can't prove the scooter is theirs), sell it and go with step 3, "profit."

Finally, he/she got in with a hide-a-key. As that is gone and there are new locks, you really are safe. I'm so glad the cats are ok (and did not get out). You are impressively lucky (thanks, Great Pumpkin, for watching over you).

August 6 2011, 15:12:20 UTC 5 years ago

The Great Pumpkin looks out for his own.

tithenai

August 5 2011, 18:46:04 UTC 5 years ago

Holy shit. SO glad you're all safe and that nothing was taken. Also, BONUS SCOOTER. Serves the asshole right.

August 6 2011, 15:12:29 UTC 5 years ago

Agreed.

aeriedraconia

August 5 2011, 18:49:56 UTC 5 years ago

OMG! That sucks that some POS broke into your home!
I'm really glad no one was injured and none of your belongings were lost.
Good guys - 1
Loser scum sucking bad guys (LSSBG) - 0
I hope the police catch the LSSBG!

August 6 2011, 15:12:41 UTC 5 years ago

Me, too!

herewiss13

August 5 2011, 18:50:14 UTC 5 years ago

If you absolutely, positively _have_ to be robbed, I guess that's probably just about the most optimal way to go about it. Not that there's anything optimal about the situation, except hey! free scooter. :-)

August 6 2011, 15:12:50 UTC 5 years ago

Exactly!

jane_dark

August 5 2011, 18:51:31 UTC 5 years ago

That sounds terrifying. I'm so glad that it wasn't worse, and it *does* serve the asshole right that you've got his scooter....though crikey -- was he really going to transport big bags full of computer and DVD player on a frakking scooter? Crumbs.

August 6 2011, 15:13:11 UTC 5 years ago

We think it was a teenage boy being dumb. He probably didn't think it through.

mcdougherty

August 5 2011, 18:52:12 UTC 5 years ago

At least the asshole had taste. :(

encarmencita

August 6 2011, 04:54:06 UTC 5 years ago

Seriously.

Asshole Browncoats are usually pretty gorram rare. Except for me. And I don't steal.

jslinder

August 5 2011, 18:52:40 UTC 5 years ago

I have no knowledge of Alex's age, but I have to bring up a suspicion that it's someone he knows or knows him in some way (the use of the hide-a-key, a specific room being hit where they knew stuff may have been, etc.). I did a lot of work with Law Enforcement and this rings a couple of bells.

Pay attention to any associates (or associates parents) complaining about the missingscooter..

BTW, hide-a-keys are really bad things in most cases, they can be found easily with a metal detector. If you must store an emergency key, get a mounted lock box in an obscured location with a combination lock and never use the combo in the presence of others.

stormerider

August 6 2011, 07:07:37 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, I was kinda thinking the same thing. While a determined thief would have access to a metal detector, your neighborhood punk kid isn't likely to bring one to a robbery. Which leaves the assumption that they knew where it was because they'd seen it used or heard about it from someone who knew where it was.

The lock boxes are a much better idea.