Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: happy
  • Music: Bree Sharp, "America."

Sometimes all you can do to beat the dark is shed a little light.

As most of you are probably aware by now, I collect generation one My Little Ponies from the 1980s. I have something on the order of two hundred plastic horses, a bunch of the playsets, and an open door policy toward boxes of Ponies found in attics of childhood homes. (Seriously. It's amazing how often people write me and go "I found this box, do you want it?" I have several Ponies I love very much that I acquired in this manner.)

As I slowly prepare to move, I've been sorting, indexing, and packing large portions of my Pony collection. I don't actually have a comprehensive list of what I do or don't have; a lot of my Ponies came from eBay job lots, or from the aforementioned attic finds, so there are duplicates, and Ponies whose names I don't know.

I mentioned on Twitter that I was doing this. And one of my Tweeps, a very lovely paranormal romance writer named Delilah, asked if I had her favorite, a yellow Rainbow Pony Pegasus named Skydancer. She lost her Skydancer in a fire when she was a kid. I understand losing Ponies. Part of why I collect is because I lost my childhood collection before I was ready to part with it. I affirmed that I did have Skydancer, and more, that I had a duplicate, and would she like her?

She would like her.

Skydancer has reached Delilah, and is finally home. I have reunited someone with their favorite Pony. And it strikes me that this is the thing we often don't want to understand about fear, or pain, or grief, or loss. Sometimes, we need to focus on the little things to survive the big ones. When a house burns down, we mourn a toy. When a grandparent dies, we get upset about missing a TV show. It's not being petty. It's coping with small so the big doesn't break you.

To quote Delilah: "I have Skydancer again. It's like a tiny little wound in my soul healed, risen like a rainbow-haired phoenix. What is lost can be found."

I feel like the world is going to be okay today.
Tags: contemplation, friends rock, giving stuff away, good things, toys are nice
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katyhh

July 19 2011, 16:30:41 UTC 5 years ago

Love ya, sweets. That's pretty darn wonderful.

seanan_mcguire

November 18 2011, 19:50:03 UTC 5 years ago

Love you, too.

brightlotusmoon

July 19 2011, 16:38:08 UTC 5 years ago

*sniffle*

I miss all my Ponies. I wish I could remember what happened to them. I even had the seahorse Ponies.
But this story... this is amazing. This is the most uplifting, beautiful story I've read about in days.

brightlotusmoon

July 19 2011, 21:50:45 UTC 5 years ago

Also... I have to ask this, because I don't know anyone else who has so many Ponies and I'm not sure what Ebay would yield. If you have duplicates of any of these Ponies, could you let me know?

Moondancer, Moonstone, Sunbeam, Glory

If you need photos, I can find them. But they were my favorite as a child...

seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

  • New comment

brightlotusmoon

5 years ago

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damedini

July 19 2011, 16:42:11 UTC 5 years ago

Hi! I got to this post through a link. It really touched me. 10 years after I still can't speak of my grandma's death. My mom doesn't understand how I focus on the little things and cannot yet deal with this (I suppose it looks to her as if I were not affected. But rather, the loss is so big I cna't even acknowledge it without risking total breakdown.

I am going to friend you - we have several "friends" in common and I like your books.

seanan_mcguire

November 18 2011, 16:47:17 UTC 5 years ago

Welcome! :)

And I feel very similar about some of the people that I've lost.

tiferet

July 19 2011, 16:57:18 UTC 5 years ago

You are awesome.

<33333

I collect things for the same reason.

I also wear lolita because my mother and father believed that the way to make me a Strong Independent Woman was to strongly discourage my desire to wear frills all the time as a five year old, which may well have been a mistake, given that I now wear dresses that look like they belong on a five year old.

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:13:23 UTC 5 years ago

Yeah, this is why they should let us have our childhoods.

tiferet

5 years ago

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tiferet

July 19 2011, 16:59:59 UTC 5 years ago

Also, I am still looking for a talking blonde Stacey exactly like the one my brother was allowed to destroy and a Christie who looks exactly like the one I wasn't allowed to get within my price range. (This is not begging or asking...just sharing. Those dolls are humongously expensive especially if you want them to look new and not have green ear or hair that's turned red or something...) I had a TNT Stacey for a while but I ended up selling her because something about her just wasn't RIGHT. The inner five year old is so weirdly demanding at times.

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tiferet

5 years ago

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seanan_mcguire

5 years ago

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tiferet

5 years ago

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biomekanic

July 19 2011, 17:08:24 UTC 5 years ago

I totally understand.

With me, it's books. When they came out a few years ago with Dragon Magazine on CD, people in Boulder heard my squeeing from Denver.

Whenever I get the chance, I still prowl the shelves of mom and pop used bookstores looking for Ace Doubles.

Also, you rock.

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:41:04 UTC 5 years ago

I love Ace Doubles.

You rock, too. :)

sirriamnis

July 19 2011, 17:25:57 UTC 5 years ago

I went and read her entry, and now I'm crying at my desk.

Damn you, McGuire.

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:40:40 UTC 5 years ago

I am a bad person.

spectralbovine

July 19 2011, 17:38:59 UTC 5 years ago

That is a lovely story. Thank you for being a good soul. WHY AM I TEARING UP ABOUT THIS.

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:13:01 UTC 5 years ago

Because you have a heart?

Just saying.

vettecat

July 19 2011, 17:49:30 UTC 5 years ago

Lovely - thanks for sharing. I'm still replacing comics my dad spontaneously sold at a yard sale. (& when/where are you moving?)

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:12:34 UTC 5 years ago

To the Seattle area, hopefully early next year.

wendyzski

July 19 2011, 17:55:57 UTC 5 years ago

Sometimes, we need to focus on the little things to survive the big ones.

I honestly think this is what's behind all the crazy-bride stories I have heard and experienced. Societal pressures aside, many of these women just don't WANT to focus on how profoundly their life is about to change, so they focus on all the stupid little stuff like what shade of 'emerald green' the bridesmaids are wearing, or whether the mother of the bride's dress matches the napkins.

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:12:14 UTC 5 years ago

That makes absolute and total sense.

scamis

July 19 2011, 19:00:50 UTC 5 years ago

This made me cry, darn you.

The problem is, sometimes it's all gone. No power on earth can bring my brother back. But the letters he wrote me are gone too.

seanan_mcguire

November 18 2011, 15:44:57 UTC 5 years ago

Oh, honey. I'm sorry. :(

sibylle

July 19 2011, 19:07:47 UTC 5 years ago

Our cleaner threw out the box with all my ponies in (except my 4 very favourite ones who were on my shelf) when I was 12 or 13, I think. I know it was a misunderstanding, and I know the box is gone forever, but I still keep irrationally hoping that the box will magically turn up whenever my parents do some house reordering... .

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:10:15 UTC 5 years ago

I so understand that kind of irrationality.

groblek

July 19 2011, 20:31:07 UTC 5 years ago

Aww, that's wonderful. Thank you for sharing the story with us, it brightened my day. You rock!

seanan_mcguire

November 9 2011, 16:10:31 UTC 5 years ago

You rock, too!

phoenixfirewolf

July 19 2011, 20:36:31 UTC 5 years ago

Wow, that's really cool.

I don't have a collection beyond what I had as a child, but I'm pretty sure I have about 30 or so ponies from the 80's. When I was young I lived in a neighborhood with only old people for about a year or a year and a half. My parents actually took me to daycare so I'd have kids to play with. They also bought me My Little Ponies. They were my best friends for many years of my life. They are still tucked away in a box waiting for the day when I have my own house and a good place to display them.

Your story is really touching. I'm so glad you could reunite her with a piece of her childhood.

Julie

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:39:30 UTC 5 years ago

I am, too.

calico_reaction

July 19 2011, 21:47:36 UTC 5 years ago

Awww.... that's such a sweet story. :)

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:37:51 UTC 5 years ago

It made me happy. :)

happiness is a yellow pony

delilahpaints

July 19 2011, 22:01:05 UTC 5 years ago

I've been nursing a warm fuzzy all day. Thank you, again, so much!

Re: happiness is a yellow pony

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:36:14 UTC 5 years ago

You are still and always so welcome.

kyburg

July 19 2011, 22:04:04 UTC 5 years ago

You never know, that's why you keep opening your mouth and let words fall out of it.

(Still have what's left after the 1974 house fire in boxes. Including the dolls I made out of rags and colored pencils while we were in a retirement home rental in the middle of a potato field while they rebuilt the house. True story. I can *so* relate to her story, good on you!

Oh, I took such crap for that. #$@% 'em. I wore a Pikachu costume at 50. #$@% 'em all.)

falnfenix

July 19 2011, 22:05:34 UTC 5 years ago

yer good people.

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:35:47 UTC 5 years ago

I try to be.

yellowblackhaze

July 19 2011, 22:29:02 UTC 5 years ago

I can totally relate to that. My wife is the same about her teddy bears and I'm a little that way about my Lilliput Lane house collection.

seanan_mcguire

July 27 2011, 17:33:15 UTC 5 years ago

My toys are MINE, and no one's ever taking them away again.

droewyn

July 19 2011, 22:30:57 UTC 5 years ago

My mother threw all of my Ponies and She-Ra dolls away when I was thirteen, thinking I would neither notice nor care.

Hoo boy, was she wrong. I still played with them, you see, secretly. When no-one was around to tell me what a child I was being.

When I discovered that I could replace my collection on Ebay? Like Christmas. At Disney World

Starshine is my favorite.

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:37:29 UTC 5 years ago

OMG SO YES. Christmas at Disney World in plastic form.

My favorites are Little Flitter, Seashells, and Gypsy.

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seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:34:17 UTC 5 years ago

Healing should be shared.

awwwww

tallisdawn

July 19 2011, 23:32:19 UTC 5 years ago

That was a wonderful thing to do, Seanan. It's such a great thing to make someone happy and often it just takes a little thing. We need to be kind to each other in this great big world because we are all we have.

Re: awwwww

seanan_mcguire

July 27 2011, 17:33:56 UTC 5 years ago

Agreed.

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seanan_mcguire

August 2 2011, 21:36:49 UTC 5 years ago

Not so much, no...

batyatoon

July 20 2011, 00:01:56 UTC 5 years ago

Sometimes, we need to focus on the little things to survive the big ones. When a house burns down, we mourn a toy. When a grandparent dies, we get upset about missing a TV show. It's not being petty. It's coping with small so the big doesn't break you.

We talked about this already, but I think I needed to hear it again.

*hugs so much*

seanan_mcguire

November 8 2011, 17:33:08 UTC 5 years ago

*loves you always*

arcaneblades

July 20 2011, 00:07:42 UTC 5 years ago

Thank you for doing this. A lot.

And for your word about focusing on the small things, because it explains what I've been doing the last couple of days.

seanan_mcguire

August 2 2011, 21:36:32 UTC 5 years ago

You are very welcome.
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