recumbentI don't mean "Seanan needs a nap." I mean "crying at the slightest provocation, reciting primes to keep myself motivated to finish taking a shower, ready to curl up in a ball and die." So please. I am begging you here. I mean literally, I'm begging. Please...
...don't email me and then get angry when you don't get an instantaneous reply.
...don't ask why you can't have the next book NOW RIGHT NOW. I mean, unless your goal is seeing me cry. In that case, knock yourself out.
...don't tell me I'm neglecting my friends/social life/sanity when I don't come to your party. You know what? I know I'm neglecting those things. You know what else? I don't have a choice right now. I'm sorry. I wish I did. But I don't.
I am out of go. My candle is burning at both ends, and starting to melt in the middle. So handle me gently, do not prod me with sticks, and do not tell me I need to "take time for me." If the time existed, I would take it. It doesn't exist for me to take.
I'm tired.
In the interests of not turning a PSA into another source of stress, I will not be answering comments on this entry. Thank you for understanding.
July 18 2011, 20:19:04 UTC 5 years ago
I used to get up at 4:30 am to do my schoolwork because I needed a sliver of evening to myself. I was a Bright Young Thing: music, art, good grades, my writing group (that I wouldn't have given up for anything). I also collapsed in the spring of my junior year of high school and was never the same. I wish I could say I learned my lesson, but then I went off to college, lather, rinse, repeat, to the best of my abilities.
If I had it to do over again, I hope I would pick one or two things and be great at them--and screw the rest! Or drop out of high school and be a hairdresser. It would've paid my way through the rest of my education. But I don't. And you don't have time to make for yourself. So I am sending hope that it gets better soon. You work at a frenetic pace, which is amazing enough, but you make such wonderful things, and that is downright phenomenal. Do what needs doing. Don't worry about us out here. ♥