Okay; cards on the table time.: seanan

Okay; cards on the table time.

I'm tired.

I don't mean "Seanan needs a nap." I mean "crying at the slightest provocation, reciting primes to keep myself motivated to finish taking a shower, ready to curl up in a ball and die." So please. I am begging you here. I mean literally, I'm begging. Please...

...don't email me and then get angry when you don't get an instantaneous reply.

...don't ask why you can't have the next book NOW RIGHT NOW. I mean, unless your goal is seeing me cry. In that case, knock yourself out.

...don't tell me I'm neglecting my friends/social life/sanity when I don't come to your party. You know what? I know I'm neglecting those things. You know what else? I don't have a choice right now. I'm sorry. I wish I did. But I don't.

I am out of go. My candle is burning at both ends, and starting to melt in the middle. So handle me gently, do not prod me with sticks, and do not tell me I need to "take time for me." If the time existed, I would take it. It doesn't exist for me to take.

I'm tired.

In the interests of not turning a PSA into another source of stress, I will not be answering comments on this entry. Thank you for understanding.

wyld_dandelyon

July 18 2011, 18:25:41 UTC 5 years ago

New comment

Go. Sleep.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

filkertom

July 18 2011, 18:26:05 UTC 5 years ago

Only one thing to say: You are loved. Many, many hugs, and when I see you at ConText, perhaps we can go someplace very quiet and have a relaxed meal. Or spend an hour in a hot tub. Or just sit and talk. Or sit and not talk.

You are loved.

Deleted comment

joecoustic

July 18 2011, 18:28:17 UTC 5 years ago

So get it! Many *hugs* and good wishes for whatever can ease it.

alicetheowl

July 18 2011, 18:33:44 UTC 5 years ago

You do a lot, and I'm in constant awe that you can juggle it as well as you do. Honestly, I'm amazed that we don't see posts like these monthly, or at least quarterly.

You're amazing and wonderful and deserving of as much sanity as you have left.

As for people bugging you about emails or your book release date (50 days! Can't wait to read, but, OMG, so soon!), or your time expenditure, I send them all death glares. I do very good death glares.

catsittingstill

July 18 2011, 22:42:37 UTC 5 years ago

I am available for backup death glares. I flatter myself that I am getting better at this as I get older.

5 years ago

dungeonwriter

July 18 2011, 18:40:03 UTC 5 years ago

So much love!

ladyamber

July 18 2011, 18:40:06 UTC 5 years ago

Take a breath, ignore everything that doesn't help you through this, wear Graveyard Dirt and do whatever is simple and quick and easy to keep your sanity.

We love you, you are amazing, and people who are going :EEE at you can go die in a fire. You have no time for you, so do whatever you can to keep the crying binges at bay while you work on your novels. Drink DDP, pet your kittens in-between edits, watch your favorite shows, listen to your favorite songs.

I wish you luck and hugs and good vibes and would give you more spoons or a new candle to burn or whatever you need if I could. It's okay to not reply to comments. We support you, and understand the need to not add to the stress.

**huggles**

solarbird

July 18 2011, 18:41:02 UTC 5 years ago

Brave heart, Seanan. You'll make it!

janetmiles

You will be in my thoughts, wishing you strength.

ceosanna

July 18 2011, 18:41:51 UTC 5 years ago Edited: July 18 2011, 18:42:35 UTC

You're kind of full of win, and I hope that you're able to stockpile enough DDP for the week(s) ahead!

Speaking of DDP and SDCC ... Here's a little something to hopefully make you smile.

silvertwi

July 18 2011, 18:49:14 UTC 5 years ago

*hugs* I've been in that place before. I'm sorry to hear that you're visiting it, too.

May the Great Pumpkin help you get through it and come out whole on the other side.

arielstarshadow

July 18 2011, 18:50:32 UTC 5 years ago Edited: July 18 2011, 18:52:44 UTC

You are a superheroine. The sheer amount and awesomeness of the things you accomplish is nothing short of amazing.

(Ugh, edited to fix grammar because, you know, my brain is BROKEN)

phoenixfirewolf

July 18 2011, 19:11:18 UTC 5 years ago

*hugs* OMG I know exactly how you feel right now. You're not alone.

ladyqkat

July 18 2011, 19:15:41 UTC 5 years ago

I rarely request a reply and am surprised and delighted when you do.

Now, do what you need to do for you and your sanity. Life is wonky enough for everyone without you stressing over us. We, your fans (and friends, I hope), prefer that you take care of yourself and the fur-kids.

kshandra

July 18 2011, 19:17:55 UTC 5 years ago

I would wish that the cloning from the Masonverse existed, so one of you could sleep while the other went and Got Stuff Done, but something tells me you would just wind up with two Overscheduled Blondes. So instead I shall wish you things that bring you comfort and joy.

judifilksign

July 18 2011, 19:22:56 UTC 5 years ago

I love your stuff when I can get it.
Looking forward to seeing you in Columbus for Context next month.
Ask what flavor of Jeni's ice cream, and if it is in current production, I shall get it for you, because you deserve a little spoiling for all the hard work you do.

Hugs.

mariadkins

July 18 2011, 19:30:01 UTC 5 years ago

it's always just so hard for me to understand when other people just don't get this stuff. how hard is it, really? take care.

kyburg

July 18 2011, 19:35:49 UTC 5 years ago

I am so fucking there. Right next to you. If I get an answer on how to fix this, I'll let you know. Only thing I got is keeping going. Only way out is through.

biomekanic

July 18 2011, 19:36:16 UTC 5 years ago

I hope you feel better soon.

Maybe some corporal cuddling will help you feel better.

bunsen_h

July 18 2011, 19:38:32 UTC 5 years ago

[...] unless your goal is seeing me cry. In that case, knock yourself out.

With a large heavy blunt instrument, if possible.

As for candle-burning:

My candle burns at all three ends; I will not last the night...

:l

maverick_weirdo

July 18 2011, 19:51:03 UTC 5 years ago

*Hugs*

orikes13

July 18 2011, 20:10:56 UTC 5 years ago

*hug* Take care of you and shut the rest out. True friends will understand.

kay_gmd

July 18 2011, 20:13:25 UTC 5 years ago

Hugs rest well!!

lovefromgirl

July 18 2011, 20:19:04 UTC 5 years ago

Like any sane, loving person would make you answer comments when you're thisclose to a breakdown. Oy, this world.

I used to get up at 4:30 am to do my schoolwork because I needed a sliver of evening to myself. I was a Bright Young Thing: music, art, good grades, my writing group (that I wouldn't have given up for anything). I also collapsed in the spring of my junior year of high school and was never the same. I wish I could say I learned my lesson, but then I went off to college, lather, rinse, repeat, to the best of my abilities.

If I had it to do over again, I hope I would pick one or two things and be great at them--and screw the rest! Or drop out of high school and be a hairdresser. It would've paid my way through the rest of my education. But I don't. And you don't have time to make for yourself. So I am sending hope that it gets better soon. You work at a frenetic pace, which is amazing enough, but you make such wonderful things, and that is downright phenomenal. Do what needs doing. Don't worry about us out here. ♥

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Okay; cards on the table time.

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:l