Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire
  • Mood: scared
  • Music: Counting Crows, "Murder of One."

Oh sweet Great Pumpkin cats are hard on the heart.

Thomas can open doors.

Thomas has been able to open doors for a while now.

Thomas has never previously opened the front door. So this was new.

I got up to get ready for bed and discovered the front door of the house standing open, and an utter absence of cats. This, naturally, triggered INSTANT HYSTERIA, and lots of frenzied cat-calling, which probably frightened the neighbors.

Lilly came immediately, looking faintly ashamed of herself, and limping slightly. Thomas was in the yard, sniffing things, and came when called. I closed the door and turned to inspect Lilly's paw...during which pause Thomas OPENED THE DOOR again and let himself back outside.

I retrieved Thomas, called my mother, put on trousers, went outside, locked the door, and began searching the neighborhood for Alice. I found her halfway down the block, investigating someone's garden. I got her to come by clanging a can of wet food with a fork. She's mad now because she didn't get treats. I'm mad because, well. ESCAPING ISN'T COOL. Poor Vixy got me calling her in hysterics, wailing about how they got out.

All three cats are fine and uninjured. I cannot sleep. I have notified work that I'm going to be in late tomorrow, because there's no way I'm sleeping in the next hour. And from now on, the front door is locked even when I'm in the house.

Stupid cats.
Tags: alice, cats, freaking out, lilly, thomas
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    switch
    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    Help
  • 220 comments
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →

batwrangler

June 23 2011, 11:04:09 UTC 6 years ago

Glad they are home safe. How's Lily's paw?

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:37:58 UTC 6 years ago

Fine. It was just a foxtail.

winters_queen

June 23 2011, 11:29:21 UTC 6 years ago

I'm glad they are all okay, but holy cow! Now you need to childproof your house from the cat!

(I told the roomie I'm not sure if she wants a Maine coon cat if they are that smart to work the door knob without thumbs.)

phoenixsansfyr

June 23 2011, 11:54:58 UTC 6 years ago

Not all Maines are that smart... I've got one that has zero interest in the door knobs of the house, and one that has decided that the only door knobs she's interested in are the ones to the cabinet of food... and conveniently she shuts herself IN with the food and then has no clue how to get back out. Which is fine by her.

Deleted comment

winters_queen

6 years ago

  • New comment

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

  • New comment

smoooom

June 23 2011, 11:36:36 UTC 6 years ago

Stupid cats? I'd say Smart cats. I'm sorry they scared you to death I really am. But no four legged creature in the house here is smart enough to open any outside door from inside. They all swing in which helps. Rupert (the new dog) and Rose are quite happy to open them from the other side to get in, and let the cats out that way. That's not cool, but we're usually with them when they are outside. Princess (the siamese) seems to think the outside is just a big happy place built just for her. No one else seems to care. For which I am thankful.

Hope you feel better, you have beautiful smart intelligent cats, I'm glad mine aren't as smart. Really.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:38:33 UTC 6 years ago

They're smart and lovely and idiots who don't understand the outside will eat them up.

netpositive

June 23 2011, 11:44:45 UTC 6 years ago

Having been through some kitty search and rescue, I totally understand your hyperventilating and am so glad they're all back inside safe and sound. Good Thomas! I mean, Bad Thomas! :)

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:38:43 UTC 6 years ago

Yes, exactly.

michaeldthomas

June 23 2011, 12:21:18 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, that's an awful feeling. Our Joey cat once escaped by falling through the screen of one of our first-floor windows. We didn't know about it until our neighbor knocked at the door and told us that our cat was outside. We ran outside and found him sitting confused underneath the same window.

Our current cat, Marie, is a coward. She hides every time we open the door.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:38:52 UTC 6 years ago

Good.

tollers

June 23 2011, 12:50:21 UTC 6 years ago

Yikes!!!

I totally understand the panic and the subsequent sleeplessness... I've had door-openers in the past (none of my current crew have learned that trick) and it can be terrifying.

With dogs, I'd say you could reward the immediate coming-to-you without worrying that it was reinforcing "if I go outdoors, I'll get gooshy food for coming home" but I think Alice is too smart for that... she probably would associate the reward with the going outdoors. *sigh*

Smart cats are fun but they certainly can complicate life!

*Hugs* to you. I hope you managed to get some rest before having to go to work!

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:39:05 UTC 6 years ago

I did, thankfully.

anderyn

June 23 2011, 13:01:37 UTC 6 years ago

Oh my -- how'd you manage to get the smart cats with pseudo-thumbs? (I hope mad scientist type endeavours were involved.)

Seriously, wow. That's super-scary. We have the occasional escape when someone leaves a door ajar (cue six-year-olds), but neither of the boys is able to open doors. I'd be seriously freaked if that happened, particularly if one of them got all the way down the street. As it is, Ken-ohki did manage to stay out all night once.

Glad everyone made it home safe, though. And I hope that you did eventually get some sleep.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:39:29 UTC 6 years ago

Maine Coons were basically designed to complicate human lives. I love them so, but oh, man.

Deleted comment

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:39:38 UTC 6 years ago

Me, too.

kyrielle

June 23 2011, 13:35:15 UTC 6 years ago

OMG, I'm so sorry you had to go through that (and now have to worry about it). I'm glad they are all okay!

Is it a lever-handle or a round handle? If it's a lever maybe a round would work, but otherwise...yeah. :(

Clever kitty is slightly TOO clever.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 13:39:51 UTC 6 years ago

Word.

the_jackalope

June 23 2011, 13:45:09 UTC 6 years ago

My cat can do that. So long as it's a push down handle and not a turn knob, she hasn't yet figured out turn knobs. The first time I saw her latch onto the front door and pull it down I freaked out, pulled her away from the door and locked it. She's since hung from the handle a few times trying to get it to open. They are not good for the heart.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:46:05 UTC 6 years ago

Nooooooooooooooooo.

rhysiana

June 23 2011, 13:49:26 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, how horrifying! We joke that our escapist dog will next learn to open the actual external doors to the house, but clearly I need to be more grateful that she truly isn't equipped to do it. So glad you were able to find the kitties quickly!

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:46:15 UTC 6 years ago

Me, too!

arielstarshadow

June 23 2011, 13:57:43 UTC 6 years ago

I have to confess. First, I would have been as scared as you had this happened to me.

But reading it and knowing all three were OK, I sat there and started laughing like crazy. Because what else CAN you do when your dang cats are that smart??? It's like living with three furry Stewies or Dexters (from the cartoon, not the serial killer - Gods help you if they are like THAT Dexter).

I do not envy you the next 15 years with those three cats. Your cats are the ones who really probably would write those amusing "Cat Journals" we used to see on the intarwebs.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:46:29 UTC 6 years ago

I fully understand your laughter.

hasufin

6 years ago

  • New comment

trinybeany

June 23 2011, 14:04:23 UTC 6 years ago

We had a cat that could open the fridge and take out a roast that was meant for a large family, fully wrapped, open it and eat it

Deleted comment

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

  • New comment

jenrose1

6 years ago

  • New comment

Deleted comment

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:47:26 UTC 6 years ago

Me, too. I died a little.

digitaleopard

June 23 2011, 14:25:25 UTC 6 years ago

Dog owners insist cat lovers are crazy. There are times (like, searching for a black cat in heavy undergrowth, in zero light, in the rain, at 3 am) when it's difficult to disagree with them.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:47:37 UTC 6 years ago

Sad but true.

archangelbeth

June 23 2011, 14:28:18 UTC 6 years ago

For a while, a bunch of my cats were confined in the (fairly large) kitchen/dining nook/washer-dryer-room area. (Long story why that includes O:p faces.) One of the doors was a swinging-either-way door that went into the Formal Dining Room. Obviously, they could push, and it would swing out and they could get into the rest of the house, so that got a weight put on it so one had to reach up or down and pull on the door, or just push hard and put the weight back after going through.

Then one of the cats learned how to slip a paw under and pull the door towards him. I'm not sure which cat originated it, but at least a few of the others picked it up, including my Good Ol' Boy of the time, who was definitely not stupid even though he acted it. (Unlike the Ditz of the time, who really was as stupid as she acted. Sweet and loving, but the brains of a rock.) So we had to weight the door at night on both sides to keep them from getting loose.

And then there was the tiny bathroom, which had a lever-handle. Confining one cat in there, even temporarily, quickly became infeasible. They'd either climb on the sink and then try to stand on the lever-handle to yell, thus getting out, or they'd learn how to reach up and pull down the handle.

Handle doors + cats = not such a good idea, sometimes. (I don't know why the current lot haven't figured that out, since we have a handle door on our bedroom, where they are not usually allowed... But they don't reach up to pull it. They only rely on the door not fitting right and try to bump it down open. THUD.)

I'm glad you got the lot of them back relatively easily!

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:49:12 UTC 6 years ago

Once I hit Seattle, all indoor doors EXCEPT the guest room will have handles.

digitaleopard

6 years ago

  • New comment

firynze

June 23 2011, 14:35:09 UTC 6 years ago

...yeah, that door needs to be triple-secured in the face of Thomas. Dear god, I'm surprised you didn't keel over of a heart attack. Glad you managed to retrieve all the cats okay, and that they're all right!

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:49:23 UTC 6 years ago

I nearly did!

briargrey

June 23 2011, 14:46:53 UTC 6 years ago

dear gods, pets can give you heart attacks. I remember the day I came home from work to find my military macaw sitting on top of his cage, looking incredibly smug. It was a huge worry for so many reasons -- first, I had a cat at the time and even though he was big enough to *own* the cat, he'd have died from a cat scratch quite possibly (infection ftw), second, he could have flown outside when I opened the front door (wings = clipped /= unable to glide to doom), and third, how the bloody hades did he get out when I had a padlock on the danged door since he had learned how to open it! A padlock *with a key hanging up in another room*. Well, the smart little SOB had UNSCREWED THE DOOR HINGES with his beak and thus the door was hanging by the padlock and log only.

The door spent the rest of its life chained on the hinge side too, until replaced with a much better cage.

And indoor cats + outdoor = bad news usually, so I'm glad you're keeping them in and safe. My elderly cat sort of did both, but as she got more elderly (and she wasn't that bright to begin with), she must have gone to the wrong back door to meow to be let in, and we think someone killed her to shut her up. People suck. Coyotes and owls and other predators suck. Big roads suck. Smart, smart, idiot cats! So glad they are okay.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:49:54 UTC 6 years ago

...wow. Go, macaw, go.

alicetheowl

June 23 2011, 14:59:04 UTC 6 years ago

OMG! That, right there, is my worst nightmare. I actually dreamed the other night all my cats ran away. When I woke up the next morning, I called and called them, and hugged them tight when I saw they were safe and sound.

When we lived in NC, we managed to find a series of apartments with faulty window screens, so the cats ALWAYS found the weakest link and escaped. We invested in a humane trap for that very reason. Very little is more nerve-wracking than knowing your sweet, fuzzy baby is out there all alone. Herc LOVES escaping, but then he freaks out and hides. The only thing that'll get him back is tuna and patience.

Risu, luckily, does not like the outdoors, and deliberately chose to be an indoor cat. It's wet and loud and cold and itchy out there, and she does not like it. We rescued her from the outdoors, and she still remembers that.

But we did have one cat who never returned from his escape outdoors. Josh and I are almost certain the crazy cat lady down the street added him to her collection, because we saw him sitting on her picnic table. But she denied it when we asked, so we don't know.

I'm so glad yours were easily found, and that they're home safe now.

hanabishirecca

June 23 2011, 15:47:00 UTC 6 years ago

ninja'd by my own wife.

alicetheowl

6 years ago

  • New comment

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

  • New comment

alicetheowl

6 years ago

  • New comment

wfw_sj

June 23 2011, 15:00:01 UTC 6 years ago

I'm not a good person, because when I read this I burst into laughter! Glad all the kitties are safe.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:50:38 UTC 6 years ago

They were safe when you laughed, so it's okay.

ladymondegreen

June 23 2011, 15:04:23 UTC 6 years ago

Loving smart cats is hard. I'm glad that my kitten nieces and nephews are clever enough not to get hurt while they're outside, but sad that they are making their mother have hysterics.

*gives you a copy of IT for calming properties*

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:50:45 UTC 6 years ago

*hugs IT*

vulpine137

June 23 2011, 15:45:11 UTC 6 years ago

Gah, yeah...that's one of my worst fears, one of the critters getting out. I'm glad you got them all home safe. I hope you got some sleep, and aren't twitching too much today.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:50:54 UTC 6 years ago

Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust a little.

hanabishirecca

June 23 2011, 15:46:23 UTC 6 years ago

The fear of returning home or waking up and discovering the cats are missing is a horrible, horrible feeling.

When I was living in Asheville, I returned from work one day to find the screen window knocked out. This window went all the way to ground level. I knew immediately that the cats had gotten out. Risu was immediately found. She got about five feet from the window and had frozen in fear. She ran right to me. Hercules was another story. He was simply gone. He returned the following day after we had put out tuna fish a couple of times for he and the neighborhood possum.

Despite the cats having returned to us, the fear of losing them like that remained. It inspired me to write a short story entitled, Timid the Cat Goes to War. The story also helped settle the emotions of losing our cat Jeff. Jeff, about a few months prior to this incident, had knocked out a screen to scare off a stray cat, jumped out the window, and vanished.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:51:15 UTC 6 years ago

I'm so glad Risu and Herc were okay.

mariadkins

June 23 2011, 15:46:31 UTC 6 years ago

oh gods. i'm glad they're home and safe!

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 15:51:22 UTC 6 years ago

Me, too.

katiebabs

June 23 2011, 16:13:07 UTC 6 years ago

Now only if your cats can put the coffee pot on for you in the morning and make you pancakes.

seanan_mcguire

June 23 2011, 16:33:03 UTC 6 years ago

That would be nice.
Previous
← Ctrl ← Alt
Next
Ctrl → Alt →