DEADLINE open thread. Have a party.

Okay, to be clear, I have not gotten to actually read Deadline yet. I read the first few pages while the girlfriend finished her re-read of Feed, and then she stole it from me and I'm re-reading Feed while I wait for her to finish and give it back. But she's keeping me abreast of things we're learning about Kellis-Amberlee because we like to go "oh my god, the implications of this are blahblahblah" and ramble in the backs of 24 hour diners at 2 in the morning after I get off work and weird the waitresses out by how we insist on having our backs to the wall, just in case.

HOWEVER.

She was sitting next to me in bed reading just a couple minutes ago, and gasped, a really horrified gasp, and I glance over and happen to see the bottom of the last page of the chapter she's on. Five words.

"She would have gotten better."

SEANAN OH MY GOD YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON WORSE THAN JIM BUTCHER AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Seriously. I'm not even reading the book yet and I had such an intense emotional reaction to that revelation that I had to sit very still and take deep slow breaths for a few minutes because I literally thought I was going to throw up. That... sounds kind of bad, "your writing nearly made me vomit", but it's about the hugest compliment because I have never been emotionally invested in a story and in characters to the extent that I would literally be so emotionally overwhelmed by something that it would make me react so strongly physically and my words suck right now but AUGH SEANAN DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU WHY ARE YOU SO AMAZING?

This series is horrible and painful and heartwrenching and I swear to god every time I read it, I feel like I'm reading about the people I love and the people closest to me, and myself because it's all so... so intense and so real, for all that we don't have to deal with zombies in real life (not for another three years, anyway). And... and... and... AUGH.

I want to write like you. No, that's not true, I want to write like me, but I want to be able to evoke emotions and connections and love and hate and anger and heartache and even the need to throw up from emotional overwhelmingness in people the way you do in me.

I love the Toby books so much, but this is what I love you for the most. I'm going to be an utter mess for the rest of the night, possibly through the weekend, probably for at least a day after I finish the book. There are not words for my emotions right now.

I want people (fictional people, in Newsflesh) to die. PEOPLE NEED TO DIE. BECAUSE GEORGE DIED AND SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO. BECAUSE SHAUN HAD TO KILL HIS ONE PERSON. ...I empathize a great deal with Shaun, obviously. >_>



...anyway, yes, this is a long, rambling, ranty comment because I just thought you should know that you are fantastic and horrible and I sobbed and would've thrown the book across the room if I'd been the one holding it and I love you and... and please don't ever stop doing what you do. Because you do it so well.