Seanan McGuire (seanan_mcguire) wrote,
Seanan McGuire
seanan_mcguire

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T-minus 26 days to DEADLINE.

Allentown, Pennsylvania. June 11th, 2014.

Hazel Allen was well and truly baked. Not just a little buzzed, oh, no; she was baked like a cake. The fact that this rhymed delighted her, and she started to giggle, listing slowly over to one side until her head landed against her boyfriend's shoulder with a soft "bonk."

Brandon Majors, self-proclaimed savior of mankind, ignored his pharmaceutically-impaired girlfriend. He was too busy explaining to a rapt (and only slightly less stoned) audience exactly how it was that they, the Mayday Army, were going to bring down The Man, humble him before the masses, and rise up as the guiding light of a new generation of enlightened, compassionate, totally bitchin' human beings.

Had anyone bothered to ask Brandon what he thought of the idea that one day, the meek would inherit the Earth, he would have been totally unable to see the irony.

"Greed is the real disease killing this country," he said, slamming his fist against his own leg to punctuate his statement. Nods and muttered statements of agreement rose up from the others in the room (although not from Hazel, who was busy trying to braid her fingers together). "Man, we've got so much science and so many natural resources, you think anybody should be hungry? You think anybody should be homeless? You think anybody should be eating animals? We should be eating genetically engineered magic fruit that tastes like anything you want, because we're supposed to be the dominant species."

"Like Willy Wonka and the snotberries?" asked one of the men, sounding perplexed. He was a bio-chem graduate student; he'd come to the meeting because he'd heard there would be good weed. No one had mentioned anything about a political tirade from a man who thought metaphors were like cocktails: better when mixed thoroughly.

"Snozberries," said Hazel, dreamily.

Brandon barely noticed. "And now they're saying that there's a cure for the common cold. Only you know who's going to get it? Not me. Not you. Not our parents. Not the kids. Only the people who can afford it. Paris Hilton's never going to have the sniffles again, but you and me and everybody we care about, we're just screwed. Just like everybody who hasn't been working for The Man since this current corrupt society came to power. It's time to change that! It's time to take the future out of the hands of The Man and put it back where it belongs—in the hands of the people!"

General cheering greeted this proclamation. Hazel, remembering her cue even through the haze of pot smoke and drowsiness, sat up and asked, "But how are we going to do that?"

"We're going to break in to that government-funded money-machine of a lab, and we're going to give the people of the world what's rightly theirs." Brandon smiled serenely, pushing Hazel gently away from him as he stood. "We're going to drive to Virginia, and we're going to snatch that cure right out from under the establishment's nose. And then we're going to give it to the world, the way it should have been handled in the first place! Who's with me?"

Any misgivings that might have been present in the room were overcome by the lingering marijuana smoke, and the feeling of revolution. They were going to change the world! They were going to save mankind!

They were going to Virginia.

***

A statement was issued today by a group calling themselves "The Mayday Army," taking credit for the break-in at the lab of Dr. Alexander Kellis. Dr. Kellis, a virologist working with genetically-tailored diseases, recently revealed that he was working on a cure for the common cold...

When will you Rise?
Tags: deadline, don't be dumb, mira grant, pandemic time
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  • 44 comments
The "don't be dumb" tag on this cracks me up. Thank you!
Ahhh, someone trying to earn a zombie apocalypse!
Oh my. That really rocks. I cannot wait!
ooo, fullcontactmuse that *icon*!!! *swoon*

fullcontactmuse

6 years ago

*shivers*
Brandon Majors: no less an asshole than Brad Majors!
Uh-oh.
There's no stupidity like well-intentioned stupidity.

Also: bonus points for schnoz-berries
Talk about paving the road to hell.

Ouch.

As always, thank you.

It rocks.

also, Nominated you for a Zombie Research Society award because of your research and projection of zombie related medical and safety procedures.

Anybody else wanna nominate our Awesome Blonde?

http://www.zombieresearch.org/zrsawards.html

Bottom of the page.
Done! Thanks for letting us know.

paradisacorbasi

6 years ago

lysystratae

6 years ago

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

paradisacorbasi

6 years ago

"Snozberries"

LOL! Heh, heh.


Definitely enjoying these posts!
They were going to Virginia.

which deserves this (at least in my head):

http://dramabutton.com :)

Um, thanks?

orlacarey

May 5 2011, 20:39:38 UTC 6 years ago Edited:  May 5 2011, 20:43:07 UTC

Okay you win...even though I own a dead tree copy of feed I just bought the ebook so I can reread it before deadline comes out (the first copy being lost in the sea of moving boxes/bags...

edited to add: Note that the only books that I've repurchased so far are Ann McCaffrey (Crystal Singer books) and Lee and Miller (Liad)
YAY!
One thing that's only occurred to me recently (and please don't feel that you need to answer this immediately, because I know you're busier than all heck) -- was the Kellis Amberlee mutation caused by the distribution via cropduster -- i.e., a specific consequence of the act of bioterrorism? Or would it have been pretty inevitable even without it? (since, as you've told us, the Kellis virus was created to have the same virulence as the common cold which it was based on.)

If you don't get around to this question now, I'll file it away for next time you're asking for FAQ questions or such -- mainly, I wanted to get it down here before I forgot it.
I wish to know this as well!

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

seanan_mcguire

6 years ago

jane_dark

6 years ago

mel_redcap

6 years ago

alessandriana

6 years ago

paradisacorbasi

6 years ago

jane_dark

6 years ago

azurelunatic

6 years ago

This cannot end well. But we all knew that already.

I am amused that this vignette is set in my old home town, and they are now headed to (more or less) where I reside now.
This cannot end well. But we all knew that already.

Yup. The train-wreck, the train-wreck! D:O
Auugh! Don't do it! *covers eyes with hands*
Nooooooo! I have seen the future in Feed and there's no way this can end well.
I think it's a testament to your amazing writing skills that reading this makes me want to shout 'you stupid arrogant turds!!!" with a flash of real anger at their hubris and stupidity.

It's possible I need to take a little breath and calm down, huh?
*hugs*
Is it bad of me to hope that Brandon and his little band of merry fuckwits are among the early body count? Or perhaps that they actually realise what they did and feel ninety-seven shades of remorse, guilt, and horror before biting it (getting bitten)? :P

Yes, it's bad of you. Don't they do enough damage by releasing the virus, but you want they should be among the first to start biting people and spreading it even more, as well?

mel_redcap

6 years ago

admnaismith

6 years ago

"although not from Hazel, who was busy trying to braid her fingers together"

the sad thing is, after laughing loud enough to scare my husband, i tried to see if it was actually possible (not so much, need longer fingers).
Damn, I read Allentown, PA and thought it was the Pittsburgh Allentown for a second. I got all REPRESENT in here...Who knew we had an actual one across the state, too? :(

Casey Jones called. He wants his train wreck back.
Time to put in my pre-order at the same awesome bookstore that got me all your other books! I don't want to miss out because they sell out like with Late Eclipses, after all.
So does he earn the first Golden Steve-o?